o-[-

"Gods, Mitch-"

"Just let me see it, gods."

"Absolutely not. I look really, really horrible. Like an extra fat harpy's warty backside."

Mitchell sighs exasperatedly and he could just hear Malcolm glaring at him through the door. "Your metaphors are getting worse and worse. Good Aphrodite, I only dressed you up. It's not like I punched your face repeatedly like you're some sort of Medusa beanbag and semi-accidentally poured my hot chocolate on – Gods damn it."

"Hehe."

Mitchell sighs. Again. For a child of Athena, Malcolm can be very, very childish. "Just open the door. I'll fix you up. Come on."

"No."

"It can't be that bad."

"I look terriiiible, Mitch."

"No way, man. Come on, I can fix it." Man, he really wishes for an ability to Charmspeak right now.

"No. Get me another pair of clothes. Mine, this time."

"What? Those would look hot on you."

"I'm not going to the fireworks like this!"

"Well, you're not going to the fireworks in a Spiderman shirt. Why would you even?"

"It's for ironic purposes!"

"Fine. Whatever. You stay there until a spider crawl out. And spiders at camp aren't like those at my house. They're like… huge and hairy, man. Really hairy. Like… Don't tell him this, okay. But they're hairy like Mr. D's legs are. You'd think a god would have nice, pretty, flawless legs, but ugh. Really huge and hairy. Legs. And spiders. Maybe they turn you into Spiderman."

A shrill scream could be heard inside. "MITCHELL, YOU FUCKBUTT."

"Hehe." Mitchell chuckled, a big, smug, smile appearing on his lips as the door opened, revealing a really, really, flustered boyfriend. "Wow. Fuck."

"Terrible, terrible, I know." Malcolm even lifts his arms a bit, then looking at his clothes with suspicious, narrowed eyes.

"Wow. Yeah. If by terrible you mean really fuckable, yeah. You really are terrible. Dang." Mitchell replied, wolf whistling. Malcolm's bangs were still clipped with a hair pin they found in the Aphrodite cabin, maybe one of Mitchell's younger siblings, because the heart was really big and sprinkle-y and pink and it makes him look so adorable and really cute, especially when he's blushing like that and glaring like that wow. His torso, usually sporting the orange camp shirt is now in a button down flannel, the sleeves rolled, and it hugs him just in the right places – his shoulders, narrow hips, and his archer arms, good Aphrodite. He's wearing Mitchell's skinny jeans and it's a bit (too) long for him, but it makes his butt look nice and- wow.

Mitchell suddenly grabs the other boy and busies himself with fixing his hair – taking off the hair pin, collecting the longest stands of bangs, and pin them again – because he is not going through that train of thought.

"But no, seriously," he tells Malcolm, sliding his hands to Malcolm's back pocket, looking at him. "You look good."

Malcolm looks up, a hand at Mitchell's shoulder, another at the small of his back, "I do, huh?"

"Yep," he replies, a quick peck on his lips, his nose, his eyelids, because gods, he does and it hurt him right in the feelings in the best way possible.

"Hehe. I still feel like a douche bag."

"You're dumb."

"Love you, too."

Mitchell laughs, small and quiet.

A/N: Apparently Malcolm/Mitchell is a thing in pjoheadcanons over tumblr.

What's the ship name? Malchell? Mitcolm? Beauty and brains?

Also I have been pretty inactive so… yeah. Accept my offering, Fanfiction gods!1

And I'm so sorry for this oh ym gdo it's so short and pointless but I just want to write something? Ugh