A Heart Full of Doubt
"Every word that he says is a dagger in me! In my life There's been no-one like him anywhere. Anywhere, where he is...If he asked... I'd be his" Eponine sang mournfully to herself as she turned away from where her long-time friend was getting lost in his thoughts of seeing the blonde that had captivated his heart without a single word days before. The unfairness of the situation that laid in front of her was not lost on the poor, starved, dishevelled girl. How someone who she spent so much time around, bonding with, laughing with, getting to know, could fail to notice her after years but was observant enough to notice a pretty girl across a cobbled street. Sadness filled her heart as she began her path back down that dark alleyway. Despite her lack of any clue as to where she was going she realised in that moment: she didn't care; he was gone for good.
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…I'd be his" the gentle words hit his ears like a tidal wave, having snuck up behind him before hitting him square in the face. Marius turned his head sharply to the source of the words, only to see her fleeting figure as it disappeared into the alley. A mired of emotions danced through his mind at her words. What did she mean? He knew what her words suggested but surely it couldn't be that, he would have noticed by now. He shook his head as he turned to face the iron gate, just as the girl's face appeared in front of him.
"A heart full of love, a heart full of song. I'm doing everything all wrong, oh God, for shame, I do not even know your name. Dear Mademoiselle won't you say? Will you tell?"
While his voice portrayed that all his attention was fixed on the woman only separated from him by a gate, his actual thoughts told a very different story. Eponine's words remained at the forefront of his mind, never wavering. Doubts filled his mind as he began to question everything he thought he knew about his best friend. He had always thought she saw him more like a brother than anything else, but it seemed he had been wrong about that. Maybe there was more to their relationship than that, something he had been too blind to see before.
"A heart full of love. No fear, no regret"
But among all the questions, a few stood out above the rest, but they weren't about Eponine. They were about him (more specifically his feeling for her). Sure he knew he loved Eponine like one would a sister but there had always been a hole in his mind which he had stuffed every moment he had noticed her brown eyes and gotten lost in their beauty, every moment he had longed to run his fingers through her matted hair, every time he had wanted to pull her just a bit closer when walking down the street, and now it was overflowing. Every moment he had wanted to beg her to stay with him when he saw a new bruise. Every moment he had to hold himself back from punching the men who he saw her father threaten her with when she thought he had left. They all slowly linked together in his brain till they showed their message loud and clear. He loved her.
"My name is Marius-"the realisation cut his words off mid-sentence, his thoughts finally stopping the words from flying carelessly from his mouth. Why was he still here when Eponine wasn't? He needed to get out of here.
"I'm sorry, I need to go, there's someone else I have to be, sorry" he mumbled quickly as he turned away from the gate, leaving the now confused girl he barely knew (something that only now seemed to dawn on him) behind him.
[break]
"I'm gonna scream, I'm gonna warn them here" Eponine threatened her father with the only weapon she had left, her voice. She wouldn't let them come between Marius and his new love. He deserved to be happy even if it came at the cost of her own happiness, it wasn't like there was much of it left anyway.
"One little scream and you'll regret it for a year" her father retorted, a fire brewing behind his cold expression. When she saw he had no intention of leaving her love to get on with his new life- to allow him to reach the happiness she knew he deserved- Eponine opened her mouth and screamed with all her might. She prayed they would get themselves to safety, for it would hurt her so much to see Cosette suffer again at her father's hand, but now she could stop him.
"You wait my girl, you'll rue this night. I'll make you scream, you'll scream all right. Leave her to me, don't wait around. Make for the sewers, go underground! You wait my girl, you'll rue this night, I'll make you scream, you'll scream all right!" the fire had now burst forward and taken over his face with a rage she had not seen since that man took Cosette away. She braced herself for the slap that she was sure would come. When his fire hit her check it burned, yet she did not scream for she would not give him the satisfaction of knowing the pain he caused her. She simply closed her eyes tight and waited for the next one. Instead a yell from down the street followed:
"Police!"
Eponine thanked whatever god there was that her scream had alerted the local police and with that her father when the way of his gang and fled the scene, leaving Eponine alone on the cobbled street. She let her weary feet lead her away from that cramped alley to the wide street.
It was fully dark now, the streets were deserted other than the scuttle of a rat every now and again. This environment was nothing new to Eponine, having spent many a night wandering these very streets when she was kicked out for not stealing enough to stay at home for that night, but tonight felt different. The wind seemed crueller as it hit her frail body, shaking her despite her arms which she wrapped tightly around her small frame. When it started to rain, the droplets seemed harder as they hit her limbs, powered on by the strengthened wind.
She barely made it ten steps before her legs gave way from exhaustion and she collapsed against the nearest wall, slumping down to a heap on the wet floor. She couldn't recall the last time she had got a full night's sleep. Now, that coupled with the feeling of emptiness she felt from the loss of her love, she couldn't hold herself up anymore. Then the tears came. Why had she let him go? She loved him! But he loved Cosette, perfect Cosette who never missed a meal, who never stole, who never let her father hit her. She began to shake with anger and sadness, no longer caring about anything.
"You trying to get a cold 'ponine?" a familiar voice asked above her, his gentle words causing her head to shot up to see the man she was sure she had lost standing over her, his green eyes boring into her brown.
"You're not meant to be here Monsieur, why aren't you with Cosette?" Eponine asked, his actions confusing her. Who in their right mind would choose a cold street with a street rat, over a warm house with their love?
"Cosette? Is that her name? I didn't stay long enough ask" he pondered looking down the street away from her. Guilt immediately took over Eponine.
"I'm sorry! I interrupted your time with Cosette with my scream, I'm stupid, I should I have done something else but my father and is gang were there and I thought they would hurt you and I'm sorry-"she was cut off my Marius finger underneath her chin, tilting her face up to meet his (for he had now knelt down next in front of her).
"You didn't interrupt anything 'ponine. I left Cosette long before I heard you scream" he explained, a gentle smile filling his face.
"Why?" she asked quietly, confusion in her voice for she was now truly lost.
"To find you"
"Why?" she repeated, even more confused.
"To ask if you'll be mine" he smiled wider, his hair now soaked with the rain, as he echoed her words from earlier.
"You heard?" she whispered despite the red flush of embarrassment that now accompanied her cheeks.
"Of course I heard Eponine, I'm not deaf" he joked, gently tucking a strand of hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear.
"So you know then?" she mumbled, refusing to meet his eyes.
"Yeah I do" he replied softly.
"It's fine if you don't feel the same" she mumbled, her stare at the pavement becoming more intense.
"Oh 'ponine! I thought I already made it clear. I want to be yours, so will you be mine?" she didn't answer with words, her mouth too dry from shock, but rather just nodded, her hair flopping back into her face. That was all he needed to know as he cupped his face in his hands and pulled his mouth to hers, their lips meeting after what, for Eponine, had felt like years. His lips were soft on hers as she moved her hands to tangle them in his wet hair. Though the rain continued to fall around them it no longer bother Eponine, for all she cared about was the man she was locked in an embrace with.
When their lips finally separated, their faces stayed within an inch of each other. Marius thumb traced over the bruise that was slowly forming on her check, her face illuminated by the lone street lamp.
"He did this to you?" he asked, not needing an answer. Then he asked the question he had denied himself from asking for all these years for fear that her answer wouldn't be what he wanted: "Come stay with me, you don't have to stay with him" he pleaded.
She opened her mouth to say no, to say it would endanger him, to say he didn't need to go to that trouble for her, to say she didn't want to be burden, but when she looked into his eyes, filled with such love, she simply whispered "yes".
With that Marius gently lift her frail form from the ground as he stood up, pulling her to his side so she could rest his head on her shoulder as they walked down the cobbled street. The wind no longer seemed scary now, the rain no longer vicious to Eponine for now she was wrapped in the arms of the man she had given her heart to.
She was so lost in the sensation of his strong yet gentle arm around her that she didn't notice when they walked apartment building where the rain and wind could no longer get them. Neither did she notice as they walked up the stairs nor when Marius put his key into the lock to open the door to his home. It wasn't much but standing in it locked in a tight embrace, Eponine could have sworn it was a palace.
When she lay in the bed with Marius arms still around her, as if he was scared if he let her go for a second she would fade away, her face nestled into his shirt, all seemed right with this broken world.
"I love you, 'ponine, I'm sorry I didn't see it before" he muttered into her hair, after pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
"It doesn't matter, all that matters is you're here now. I love you too, I always have" Eponine told him, pulling her entire body up so she could kiss him once more, passion consuming both of them in a desperate attempt to make up for lost time.
That night, as Eponine fell asleep, for the first time she wasn't afraid for what the next day would hold, certain that she could face whatever came next with Marius at her side.