Jane's first love

I never gave much thought about love. Alright, everybody around me kept talking about it as something… magic, unique, amazing… but I didn't, I just saw it as another feeling for the long list that already existed. I wasn't worried about finding love; I really didn't care about it. I mean, being frozen at the age of 15 wasn't an easy job, and in my human life, girls got married at that age, and if I had been in love those days, I surely had forgotten it. The thing is, I was curious about that feeling, but at the same time I felt careless about it.

But it's amazing how ideas can change really fast. It was a totally common day, or so I thought, when my master came into my room after knocking at my door.

"My dear Jane" he said, "We… uhm... we're having visits today, old friends, actually. Not the Cullens" he added when he saw my expression.

"Then, who, master?" I asked, curiously. "Are they like us? Vampires?"

"Yes, my dear, yes. They are like us; they belong to the Australian Coven, better known as the Wests. You may not remember them, when they last visited us you didn't belong to us yet." he explained.

"Oh" I muttered.

"I, well actually, Suplicia and I bought you this dress; the Wests are having 'dinner' with us and we thought this dress would be perfect for the moment" I took a glance to the dress he was holding. Yes, it was beautiful indeed. It was bottle green. I would be delighted to wear it.

"Oh, it is beautiful, master, thank you so much" I told him and I hugged him.

"You have nothing to thank of, now, they'll be here at 6 o'clock, so you're ready by then" he said and then he left.

A visit. It had been long ago since we had a visit, not counting the Cullens, of course, the Cullens visited us very often.

How should I feel? Worried? Nervous? I really didn't know.

I was 4 o'clock. Two hours to get ready. But I thought I should start dressing up and combing my hair.

* * *

Two hours latter there we were. Vampire dinners were... well not common. We used to go chasing or Heidi would bring us the 'food', but in this occasions, we just sat on the big table of our dinning room and had our 'food' in plates or glasses, it was weird for me.

They arrived exactly at 6 o'clock, not a minute earlier or later. They were seven. Two women with their partners, they seemed to be round 20's and 30's, a girl who seemed to be about 19 and two boys, one was about 18 and the other one was about 16, this last one was the one who caught my eye. He seemed very nice, actually. He had brown-honey hair; his eyes, they were as the Cullen's, golden. 'Vegetarian' was my first thought, a prejudice thought. His skin, pale as any other vampire, but he had something thought I really didn't know what that something was. Tom, was his name.

When my brother, Alec (people used to call him hot Alec) noticed the way I was staring at Tom, elbowed on my rib and told me with a glance not to look at him like that.

Tom smiled at me, and said hello to everybody, when he greeted me, I noticed he did smell good. And a bit later, I felt ashamed of myself. Was this love?

The evening passed by, and the dinner was great. And as for Tom, I kept looking at him. He was vegetarian, as I had thought, actually all of them were vegetarians, which meant we all ate vegetarian blood, thank God there was gazelle blood, and otherwise I would have eaten nothing.

"My lovely Jane, why don't you go and show our friend Tom the house?" he asked smiling when he touched my hand. Damn it, his 'gift' again. He had read my thoughts and now he knew how I felt. Well, loving was not a crime, but I saw it that way.

I tried to stay cool.

"Yes, my master." I said. "Come" I told Tom as I held out my hand for him to take it "You'll love it" I added.

It was a silent, comfortable walking. But then he broke the silence with his lovely voice. We got to know each other. He was just… amazing. And perfect.

But did he feel the way I did? Hard to know. Seemed like I loved against my will. 'I can do nothing' I thought 'it's done, I'm in love and I have to admit it.'

Tom was always nice to me. He was funny, smart, beautiful, anyway, perfect. And at the beginning of the second month of their staying with us he told me something.

"Jane… This month with you has been… like dreaming, though vampires can't sleep at all. Your friendship is important to me. But I… feel something else. I'm not sure what the best way to express myself is, but there's a question bursting out of me: Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

'Oh, Jane… this is what you wanted, didn't you?' I thought. But I felt I couldn't say a word.

"Well" I finally said "I never thought I would ever say this to a guy, but yes, I'd be delighted to be with you as something else."

He laughed happily. And then took my head between his hands and kissed me. My first kiss as a vampire. It felt… amazing.

We were together for 2 months, the best two months of my existence. But they, sadly, went away faster than what we both expected it.

Their coven had to go back home, back to Australia. But I felt I couldn't let him go, I didn't want to let him go.

"My dear Jane, you're being selfish. Let him go, maybe he'll come back to you. It all depends on time" my master told me.

The goodbye was the worst thing I had to face. He kissed me like never before. He told me we could continue being a couple, but I shook my head slowly.

"Tom... I love you, you know it… but it is painful at the moment, and I don't want it… to be worst, for any of us." I said. Thank God vampires weren't able to cry, because if we were, I'm pretty sure I would be a sea of tears.

"Yeah, I… understand it. But keep on mind something please… I will always love you, and I'll think of you every single day of my existence. Forever and always."

Then he left, with a smile on his face, a love smile.

Destiny had decided. Maybe love wasn't a feeling thought for me. Maybe, these 3 months together were… a start, but they also could be the end. I'd promised something to myself after that love affair with Tom, I would never fall in love again. It was painful, more that the mind-hurting I could produce. I also promised myself to think of him everyday, not to forget him. And something was for sure. I would keep this love story in secret. I would let nobody who knew this story tell it to anybody else; I would stay serious, silent and pretend to be heartless. Though deep inside me, there was still hope.