Title: Bittersweet
Ratings: 15/R/M
Warnings: Slash, angst, introspection. Happy ending.
Summary: Seamus and Blaise came together in bittersweet unions, needing each other as a barrier against the pain and isolation of being the unwanted ones.
Authors note: This is the second fic in my Gryffindor Boys month (for details see my profile). It ignores most of the events of the last two books, since I didn't like the ending to book Six, and book Seven's not out for two more weeks.
Bittersweet.
Their unions were bittersweet. Meetings in the night, hidden from prying eyes and divisive friends, where touches burned and pleasures hurt. Seamus was constantly depressed, the loss of his friendships in Gryffindor had hit him badly. The young Irish boy was not designed to be alone, and that was exactly what had happened when Dean had turned to Harry's side. Seamus knew Harry was right, knew Voldemort was back, but when he'd tried to tell Harry this, to regain his friendship, Harry had thrown his painful apology back in his face. Seamus was no longer welcome in Gryffindor.
As for Blaise, he had always been alone. He'd never been interested in Quidditch and his father was long dead so any status he could have gained there gone with it. Malfoy's circle had never welcomed him in, especially once he'd made it clear that he wanted to have no part in the War. Only his vow that he would never help "the opposition" kept him alive – that and his pureblood status. Now that they were in Seventh Year, Malfoy's status as leader of Slytherin was secure, and his word was law – his word made sure none of the others interacted with Blaise. For the most part they pretended he didn't exist.
They had come together the first time over a Transfiguration lesson, where they had been left to pair up together. There were equal members of each House since McDougal was removed from school, and the Patil twins moved to India, so Seamus and Blaise found themselves constantly paired in classes, the others of their Houses dividing into two male and one female pair each. They made up the seventh pair – the unwanted one.
They worked peacefully together as long as they didn't talk about anything important, or personal. Mostly they talked about their work, although the occasional discussion about hobbies or books broke up the monotony. Slowly they came closer, a need borne of loneliness and fear and isolation. Neither loved each other, they were too different, but they began finding excuses to see each other more often – Charms tuition, Transfiguration revision, Defence practice. It was in one of these sessions, in the Room of Requirement, that things changed again.
They had been practicing duelling and defence, throwing mostly harmless spells at each other. Seamus had Blaise disarmed for the first time that day and had been gloating when Blaise and kissed him, ostensibly to shut him up. When their eyes had opened several harsh, panting breaths later, the room had become a crimson and silver bedroom.
Their unions were bittersweet and delicious. Wicked, enjoyable exploration occurred on some occasions, filled with giggles and moan and delight. Other sessions were painful, hard rutting and blind orgasms, using each other for stress relief, sweat hiding tears and angry hurt. The worst was Seamus' birthday, waking to find only one present, a book from his mother. Even his father, estranged since he got his letter at eleven and Finnegan senior realised Seamus would forever be his mother's son, hadn't bothered with him.
Other times, deadlines for final projects, Quidditch matches when House divisions were deepened. When they came together then, their touches were shaky and desperate. Stresses that couldn't be taken out on the other Houses were taken out on the outsiders in their own House, and both boys needed to feel alive and cared for and wanted sometimes. Needed to believe that even one person in the school wouldn't hex them or hurt them for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
By Graduation, they had been regularly shagging and spending time together for most of the year, and they realised, having sex for what they believed to be the last time, that they didn't want to lose each other, lose this closeness. They moved in together two weeks later and, four years on, when Harry finally defeated Him and everyone had moved past their Houses, Seamus and Blaise celebrated with him, with Draco, no longer the leader of anyone. With Vincent and Neville, both grown up past Vincent's (now Kissed) shadow in the form of Crabbe, and Neville's un-Gryffindor shyness to find what they need in each other. So much they once knew had changed, but they weathered it the same as they had in those long ago, bittersweet days at Hogwarts – together.