Waking The Skeletons, a twilight fanfic

Waking The Skeletons

"Yeah? Huh, well that's awesome! And I really do wish you all the best in your effort to charm the pants off of your 'friend who happens to be a female.' Ha! Your words, not mine. Oh no, that's okay, Jake. You go do whatever it is you feel you need to do. Just don't call me up in the middle of the night when you have some...some-"

Bella searched their room for some for-example (shampoo? lipgloss? carmex?!)

"Some mutant growth on your lip caused by a chick who has no respect for herself." Even she cringed at her lame comeback that made her sound a profoundly teensy bit jealous.

Not that she didn't realize she was but God, did she have to sound like it? Did she have to slink so low as to use air quotations just then?

She sighed as she listened to Jacob continue his explaination of the situation. Bella didn't really feel like she was being cheated out of her 'Jake time' as they had so cleverly begun to call it. No, she felt like maybe his 'Bella time' was being replaced by 'random girl make-out hour'.

And maybe it was the way he was spinning it to sound more innocent than that; that had her all pissed her off.

Was it possible for him to just spit it out and tell her? Couldn't they just get that part over and done with? When was he actually going to break it to her? And how?

Hey Bells, by the way? I'm fucking some girl on the side. Hell, who are we kidding? She's not on the side; you are. In fact...since me and this girl are now dating, we won't be able to hang out as much. But don't worry Bells, I'll always be your best friend. Until me and this girl get married and have lots of-

She cut her own thoughts off when Edward opened the door to the room, already smiling upon his entrance. Once he saw the tell-tale watery eyes and sniffling red nose, he sighed and was instantly and noiselessly on the bed next to her.

She knew he could hear the other end of the phone line spewing out the excuses. She knew he could probably guess why her face was wet with streaming tears. He always seemed to know. And she also knew that he was hiding his pain underneath his perfectly shaped face and concerned look. At this, she sat straight up, wiped her face with the palm of her hand, sniffing once more before clearing her throat.

"That's fine though, Jake. I'm happy that you are trying to broaden your horizons, so to speak. We can move the boat trip to another weekend. Whenever we can both manage to fit it in," she reasoned- trying to reign in the acid that was slowly leaking into her speech. She cleared her throat again.

"Of course, I have a few things planned for next weekend with Edward. So maybe sometime after that. Yeah, we'll just see how it goes. Okay, talk to you later. Bye."

She held the phone to her ear, waiting for him to hang up, her face concentrating on not deceiving her drowning feelings. After listening to the click, she reached back to slowly put the phone on her nightstand.

"Bella, love, why are you crying?" Edward whispered as he took her and wrapped his arms lightly around her. She felt her body shiver once, before recognizing this familiar cool sensation. It was almost like he was so cold that he melted the feeling right off of her. Most of the bad feelings. Which made it almost possible to forget that her best friend had decided to give up on her, afterall.

Almost.

"I just...I think maybe I'm just really cranky and I didn't get that much sleep last night," she tripped over her unrealistic words. He was there with her every night now. He knew she slept pretty soundly yet here she was, complaining of just the opposite. Her bottom lip quivered at the stupid lie she told him. And what was her biggest pet peeve? Liars.

"I understand that you are upset with him. For the change of plans. But you should be glad that he's...giving himself the time he needs. It's really for the best, Bella," Edward nodded, looking down at her as he traced the outline of her wedding ring. She feebly smiled up at him secretly thinking that Edward was just relieved about it being easier on the two of them, not Jake. But she had to admint that he was right.

"I'm okay with it. And you're right- it may make it easier on him if we didn't...see each so often. Maybe," she could hear the waver in her own voice. As usual, he wasn't hard-pressed to question this.

"So what are these plans that you have now roped me into?" He asked, with a sudden wicked grin gracing his beautifully angled face. Her heart raced as she looked down at his lips. If there was one thing Bella did know, it was that Edward definitely got the hang of how to distract her.

"If you only knew," she laughed, finding herself slipping her fingertips underneath the soft fabric of Edward's shirt, beginning to graze the planes of his back muscles. He chuckled softly in her ear, as he tilted her face up to meet his.

During the next thirty-three minutes Bella realized that she'd only thought of Jacob Black twice.

Once when Edward was kissing the dips in her collarbone. (She remembered the blush that started at her collarbone when she first saw Jacob shirtless. Even with her bloody mess of a forehead.)

And then again when Edward hitched her leg around his waist before leaning down and trailing kisses down her jawline. (Jacob would always help her hitch her leg up over the motorcycle, before relaying further instructions in her ear because the roar of the bike was deafening. And his lips and breath were always so close to her jawline.)

She decided that this would have to do. And in the deep recesses of her mind, she hoped that it was this hard for Jacob to not think of her when in his own female company. And then again, she hoped it wasn't.

What worried her more than this internal battle was that she couldn't tell if she was right about it, or not....

She slammed the truck door loudly, hoping that when she knocked on the rusted storm door, maybe it would be Billy and he would come to the door and tell her Jake wasn't here. Out on pack business or something like that.

It took all of her weak might to bring her hand to the door, just for her to flex her fingers into a small fist over and over again. Would she knock or wouldn't she? Could she?

When she went to knock, she accidently pushed on the door cracking it open.

'They must be in the back or something,' she thought as she entered the small, squared-off living room.

She placed her coat over the arm of the love-seat only to pick it back up and carry it on her arm. 'I shouldn't always assume I'm so welcome everywhere', she remembered before peeking her head into the kitchen. Hmm. No one there, either.

Bella knew Jake's room was at the end of the short hallway and that he usually kept the door open when he wasn't there. So the fact that it was closed gave her the sign that she really was supposed to be here. To talk to him about everything she was feeling right now. To maybe figure out a different solution than not spending as much time together. Anything but that, really.

Because in all honesty- if she would ever let herself be honest...she couldn't do it. She just couldn't give up all the deep laughs, warmth eminating between the thin thin space in between them, soda can tabs that they routinely collected off of the floor in the garage, the scrunched up goofy faces the two of them were always somehow making- despite everything that went on around them. Even after the wedding and the accusatory words and looks...she forgave him. He forgave her. And she thought everything went back to almost-normal. As normal as it would ever be.

No, she couldn't let it all go like that. And she knew hoped he didn't want to, either.

After staring at the only family picture she'd seen of the Blacks on the countertop, somewhere it registered in her that Billy must not be here. If that's the case then maybe Jake isn't here, then?

But then she heard him rather ungracefully knock into his dresser. Bella couldn't help but smile as she turned over her wrist to see that it was already 11:37 in the morning. On a Saturday, no less. A 'Jake and Bells' day.

'He must've had a long night,' she thought as she almost giggled to herself.

And then...there was how she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if she just so happened to open the door without knocking...to find him getting dressed. Possibly even naked. Totally freaked by the fact that some unknown visitor came to the house, walked in and opened his own bedroom door. Then for it to be her? A quick flash of running in and throwing her arms around whatever part of him she could find, ran through her head before she rolled her eyes at her own wrongful thoughts.

She wouldn't be that lucky. In fact, she was lucky that she escaped nearly slapping herself over that brief inner-monologue.

Without thinking anymore on it, Bella took in a deep breath before pushing open the door to Jake's room.

She'd nearly made it the two feet into the room before really taking in the scene that was unfolding before her now tortured eyes. Those words were what woke her up...

Some other pale-skinned girl with pretty freckles on her face, under her long auburn hair- lying in an odd position facing towards him, him facing away from Bella, under the blankets on his bed. Not under enough blankets...leaning forward, his hands fanned out over the wall behind her, her hands around his dark shoulders. Not enough blankets, not enough sheets to cover up the parts she was curious to see of his...in places she had hoped they would never be.

This girl was breathing heavily, saying things Bella had never heard in reality.

"YES! Oh hell yes! Harder Jacob!" she cried out, writhing underneath his sturdy frame that seemed to be slamming back and forth.

Her jacket fell to the floor as she finally let out the whoosh of air that had been screaming to be freed.

She felt behind her frantically searching for the door or the knob.

This was when Jacob let out the most torturing sound of all- throwing his head back and nearly howling in pleasure. It sunk into Bella's skin, quickly piercing it's way down to the very center of her heart, stabbing each inch of her it grazed. She swayed on the spot as it pricked her eyes and tumbled down her cheeks as he knowingly met her gaze, before she was able to turn around and run out of the house.

She somehow made it to her sanctuary- the truck -before she stopped short. The air was wheezing in and out of her heaving chest.

She threw open the door and climbed in, slowly shutting it behind her. Her thoughts were boiling over in the scalding pot that was now her overloaded brain. Those mages she would never be able to get out of her mind; she wanted to physically dig them out with her own bare hands. Scratch them, erase them, burn them from her memory.

There she was, hoping to still reclaim a part of him that she said she never wanted, but always had. Even though she always wanted that part of him, always in those secret moments she was able to steal for herself. And here, in her biggest vulnerability....

Being human and having vampires chasing after her? She was able to keep her cool for the most part.

Being proposed to? She took it and managed to turn it into something wonderful and fairytale-worthy. Usually.

But none of that made her feel as vulnerable as she felt right now.

She would finally have to own up to this; learning that Jacob was her biggest vulnerability of them all. Edward could handle himself...and even though she knew Jacob could too, she always felt the need to protect him, to be there for him even when she shouldn't. Even when she knew it wasn't right. When it may not even make any difference.

She had always thought that she couldn't live without Edward- that those six months without him would always go to prove this time and again.

But what she was only now seeing was how backwards this train of thought really was. During those six months-yeah, she was all sorts of messed up. But she lived, just barely. She proved that she could live without Edward.

And when she came back with Edward in tow, after all those months of spending time with Jacob, she immediately sought to go back to him in a comforting way.

When he didn't speak to her after phasing for the first time? Wasn't that when she was going completely insane, getting lost in a forest and almost getting herself killed?

And when he ran away after he healed from the big fight? When she was so sad at how he distanced himself from his family and friends because of her? Wasn't that when she was supposed to look forward to getting married to Edward?

Bella nearly screamed in frustration as she pounded her fists into the weathered metal steering wheel.

Why hadn't this occured to her before she was married? Why now? Why when it didn't even fucking matter....?

She caught a flurry of movement in the front window out of the corner of her eye. He was standing there, probably still without any clothes on, oh God why did he have to just stand there like that? He must be trying to punish her with his eyes. With that look that he had to know he was giving her. Like he never wanted her to begin with. Like their whole friendship was some big mistake he wished he could erase.

She gazed back at him, seeing if she could convey the hurt that he just caused her. But it didn't matter because why should he care?

How many times had she in her own way, done this to him? Was it even possible to count?

She hung her head as she saw the viscious look he was giving her before he disappeared from the door. He obviously wanted to make her hurt, and although she deserved it...she wasn't a masochist. She didn't like seeing things like this.

Bella in fact, wanted to go smack that look off of his face and she felt the anger well back up into her eyes. She wiped her face with her sleeve, surely smearing the little bit of mascara she decided to put on this morning across her face. She couldn't bother herself to fix it.

Finally, she noticed the door opening back up only to reveal the girl from a few minutes ago.

Not so inexplicably, Bella felt an envious poison seep into the veins in her arms and hands that were squeezing with more and more pressure on the wheel. She knew she couldn't be angry with this girl; she had no idea the complexities behind her and Jacob. For all she knew, the girl didn't even know Jake's last name. Or that he used to love reading comic books when he was younger. Or about the time he hid a mouse in the Black's linen closet, laughing as only a seven year-old would, when Rebecca found it- shrieking as only a teenage girl would.

No, she wouldn't know those kind of things.

What really caught Bella's eye was the fact that this girl was seemingly approaching her truck with a shy smile. Releasing her poor vehicle from her death grip she frowned in confusion as the girl who was at least clothed properly this time, haphazardly waved her hand at her. She rolled down her window slowly.

"Hi there. I'm Lizzie, how's it goin'?" the girl smiled genuinely, causing Bella to be taken aback at the warmth she was exuding.

"Er, hi. It's going pretty...swell," she felt herself almost blush embarassingly at the way the sarcasm seemed to drip into her words. Lizzie only grinned wider.

"I'm really sorry about...all that before. No one wants to walk in on their friend doing the deed, obviously. Ha, at least better you than his parents!" the redheaded girl shook her head gravely. At this, Bella could almost feel the hiss rise up her throat.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude- I'm Bella."

"Nice to meet you. I've heard a few things about you, so far."

She wasn't sure what she meant by 'so far,' but Bella wasn't liking the way it came out.

"Don't worry, all good things!" Lizzie widened her eyes at Bella's raised eyebrows. She nodded before starting to bite her bottom lip to keep her mouth from blabbing about how Jacob really loved her, not Lizzie. What a stupid thing to even think about.

"Well, I better be off. Big rainstorm coming, you know," she muttered lamely, trying to return the smile. Lizzie laughed.

"When is there not a big storm coming? If it were sunny for a whole week around here, I'd probably have a stroke. Okay, so maybe I'll see you around?" Lizzie asked, pulling a jangling item from her purse. Keys.

"Yeah. Nice seeing you," she managed before Lizzie waved again, walking towards a small blue car a few yards diagonal from hers. How did Bella not notice it when she first got here?

She sighed, partly out of frustration and partly because she was relieved that awkward conversation was over. Although she may come off as a nice person deep down, Bella couldn't help but feel animosity towards Lizzie. And she couldn't help but compare herself to her, either.

Lizzie was also pale-skinned, but with a warm undertone it appeared. Whereas Bella was pale with the only color rising in her face and chest when she blushed. Bella looked down at her chest, her lips pursing in disdain when she realized that next to a lot of girls, not just Lizzie- she was so plain. Small-chested, frail and meek-looking was not in style as of yet. There was this missing piece to her that other girls possessed. A sunny disposition maybe? Either way, she felt ill-equipped.

The rain was starting to fall, with her still contemplating too many things in her head for her to take notice. She had no idea how long she'd been sitting there in the truck until she saw an unfamiliar car pull up close to the front of the red house. She recognized Sue Clearwater stepping out of the driver's side and going to open the passenger door for Billy. After grabbing his wheelchair from the back, she unfolded it and quickly helped him into it, trying to avoid getting the both of them soaked by opening up a wide-brimmed umbrella overtop their heads.

She saw Billy look over in her direction with an unclear look gracing his wise face. Sometimes, she thought, he could read minds too.

Should I still be sitting here? she wondered, watching as Sue pulled off, spraying mud behind her. The rain was starting to come down in torrents now, easing Bella back into her previous thoughts. Thoughts -she countered- that had nothing to do with her husband. And everything to do with the fact that this wasn't right. Nothing about any part of this situation was right. And she had no idea of how to fix it. It wasn't her job to fix, but to be fixed. She had no idea what to begin to say to him. Or him.

Tedious and trying...that seemed to be her traits when it came to both of the men in her life. She was always doing tedious things with Edward to keep her mind at bay- to keep it from thinking about the always pending-doom. She was always trying and difficult with Jacob, to keep him at arm's length from her.

At this, she wondered what made two men love her at once when she felt she didn't deserve either of them at any point in her life...

There was a light humming noise coming from the other side of the cab. On the seat, Bella saw the lit-up screen of her phone reading 'Home.'

Even though she knew she should answer it, she decided against it. Turning on the truck's battery, she rubbed her numbly frozen fingers in front of the defrosting vents. It would take forever before the truck would become toasty by any means so she pulled out her gloves from ontop the dashboard. She felt her eyelids getting heavier by the minute, but she refused to close them. She wasn't sure why she was sitting here- what she was waiting for. But she would wait for whatever it was.

The colors behind her lids danced lightly- lavender and pink swirling around in patches, darkening as the day mixed into early evening.

There was a loud noise outside the truck that woke her up- causing her to nearly flail about, rubbing her sore eyes. She looked up to see Jacob standing outside his front door that he threw open, this time fully clothed and looking slightly less angered than before. He cocked his head to the side, not unlike an animalistic gesture. Bella bit her lip hard enough to taste something like a shiny penny on her tongue.

She pulled herself out, glad that it had finally stopped raining so hard. She pushed her feet through the slick mud between her and him, thinking to herself how this was some sort of metaphor for the two of them and their relationship.

"Why are you still here?" he asked simply, with his arms crossed over his chest. She felt a stab of the earlier pain.

"I don't- I'm not sure why..." was all she could say. Angrily, she felt the pricking sensation returning to her eyes.

He sighed as he pulled her closer to him, trying to bring her in from the rain. She hesitated at the contact but begrudgingly followed him into the house. She stamped her feet into the rug once he shut the door behind them.

"Charlie's been calling, looking for you. I told him if I saw you, I'd have you call him." Jacob threw her a worn blanket that was sitting on the recliner. She frowned at her own stupidity at not answering her father earlier.

"I'll go ahead and call him," she replied, already pulling her phone out to call the last number.

It rang only once before Charlie picked it up.

"Dad? Hey I just wanted-"

"Bells! Where the hell have you been? I thought you were going to be over here for dinner by now?" Charlie huffed. She turned facing away from Jacob who was rolling his eyes at her.

"Sorry about that Dad. I was out...I'll be leaving here shortly, though. I'll even cook Grandma's Chicken Florentine for you, to make up for it."

"Well that's more like it. See you then. Love you kid," he said barely letting her reply before hanging up.

Bella shoved the phone back into her pocket, eyeing Jacob as he plopped down on the loveseat. She took notice of Billy's absence from the living room and had a seat in the recliner.

"So, what's up?" he asked, as if the earlier events hadn't taken place. She scowled at his passive agressiveness.

"I didn't know you had company earlier. You should've let me know before I made my way all the way out here you know," she said, trying not the let the hurt rise up in her cheeks.

A flash of something unreadable showed on Jacob's face before he smoothed it over. He kicked up his long legs and feet over the the edge of the too-small sofa, with a smirk.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I almost forgot you were coming over. I mean- well not exactly forgetting, but I didn't realize I was cutting it so close with Lizzie. I'll try to schedule around everyone better, next time," he said sounding rather arrogant, putting his arms behind his head.

Bella's nostrils unwillingly flared at the way he said her name. And the 'next time.'

"Please do," she replied softly, rolling her eyes to avoid the tears that were starting to form. She was grateful that he couldn't see her face from the angle he was positioned at.

She tried to sniff back the runny nose that was surely about to start, but as soon as she did she knew he heard the tiny, uneven catch in her breath. The smallest of sniffles. His head whipped around to face her.

And she saw the way his eyes seemed to soften and really seek out hers. She wanted to tell him to look away, but couldn't react in time to the hot moisture spilling down her cheeks, betraying her. Unsure, he looked like he was debating with himself over something but she wasn't sure through her blurry vision.

The next thing she knew, Jake was kneeling down on the ground by her side, putting his hand on her arm.

"What is it Bells?" he asked.

"Dunno. I don't....like feeling like this though," she started, sniffling harder to try to hold back more inevitable tears. He looked at her as if it pained him to see her cry like this. She felt a sob claw its' way out of her chest, deceiving her dignity.

"C'mere," he said before pulling her head to his shoulder and cradling her there. She felt a little bit of herself melt against him, give into this little bit of touch they'd allow. Here he was, consoling her as if she'd had a nightmare. But this is somehow worse, she thought. He shushed her as more sobs started, bubbling up to the surface and breaking free.

His hands seemed to weave their ways into her tangled mess of hair. Her wet face was pressed half up against the collar of his shirt, half against his neck. Under all the crying and the holding and the sadness that maybe all she has with Edward is nothing when compared to the way her emotions throw themselves overboard with Jake- she could envision things she was never able to see before.

Summers in a different city. Sunny and bright. Hand held by her own extension of the sun- her own personal sun, in fact. Laughing at how clear the water is in Florida compared to La Push. Shielding her eyes from the rays pressing down on them as she lazed around reading a book. While he tossed around a football with a dark-haired child.

The sting of all these images being snapped away from her like a rubber-band caused her eyes to open through the wetness.

So this was it.

This was what he had been trying to show her. Staying alive. Living while doing so. With him...and the people around her...around them.

The breaths were coming in quick quick quick, him pulling her away to look at her and ask if she was really hyperventilating.

She couldn't just leave everything she'd already vowed. She'd already promised all of her to Edward. For always. And Bella wasn't one to go back on her word.

All she could seem to remember were her words from so long ago:

'Why don't we just get out of here? Just you and me?'

"Bella? Come on, snap out of it," Jake lightly shook her shoulders. She glanced over at him, seeing the questions that were swimming in his own eyes. She finally understood.

"You did this. On purpose." She felt half-betrayed, half-enlightened. He dropped his gaze and started to shake his head silently.

"Yes. You. Did. And don't lie about it, either. I can see what you did, but why?" she asked in the confusing tone she felt.

"You needed to see it. The...feelings you have for me, I guess. I was hoping...hell...Bella I wasn't even hoping for anything to come of it. I stopped hoping when I had to hear it from your bloodsucker that you two were getting hitched. But I thought maybe- maybe you'd understand how I've felt. And maybe this one thing would help me get over you. As lame as that sounds," he answered, his face screwing up in concentration of the words he chose. He rocked back on his knees.

Bella was silent for a minute, before answering.

"I wanted to claw her face off. To make you turn around and look at me...and see me, not her. Not some other girl. I've always thought in the back of my mind that that would never happen. You'd always be in love with me and I'd always have you by my side no matter what. I never factored in you falling for another girl. And that makes me feel like a jealous brat that always wants her way." She straightened up, trying desperately to clean up her face, avoiding his eyes.

A small chuckle came from his mouth that Bella couldn't help but notice was so close to hers that it was screaming for her to kiss him. Yet she was amazingly able to control herself.

"You are a damn brat that always wants her way. And I'm a fool who always tries to give you whatever that is. Whether it's a shoulder to cry on, a friend to fall back on, or a hope that maybe life isn't all about unrealistic romancing and love-sickness. But you already knew that..." his voice trailed off as she caught his hand in hers.

"Always calling me out. You can be so cocky sometimes, Jacob."

"Sometimes? Honey, I have every reason to be cocky."

She fought back a smile and shook her head. It still hurt that she came across the whole sex festivities, but she felt him breaking through the newly thrown-up wall. He was the best at it.

"I am sorry about everything, though. I shouldn't have done that to you, " he frowned, tracing circles over her hand.

"Maybe, maybe not. But...I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. You can go about your way and do whatever or whomever you'd like. I can't really have much say in that."

"Yes, yes you can." Jacob traced his index finger up past her forearm, to the crook of her bicep. Bella closed her eyes as she felt a shiver run up her spine that had nothing to do with the temperature of the room. She turned her face away in protest, but she knew she couldn't force herself too far away from him. He nudged her forehead with his, looking her dead in her eyes. There was no way to move, no way to run away from him or her own actions that seemed to respond from a deeper chamber in her heart...

Love my name

Love left dry

Frost or flame

Skeleton me

Fall asleep

Spin the sky

Skeleton me

Love, don't cry

Skeleton me

Soon comes rain

Dry your eyes

Frost or flame

Skeleton me

Fall asleep

Spin the sky

Skeleton me

Love, don't cry

Skeleton me

Skeleton

Love my name

Love left dry

Frost or flame

Skeleton me

Fall asleep

Spin the sky

Skeleton me

Love, don't cry

Skeleton me

Soon comes rain

Dry your eyes

Frost or flame

Skeleton me

Fall asleep

Spin the sky

Skeleton me

Love, don't cry

Skeleton me

Skeleton

The recliner was not able to hold the both of them, once Jacob had somehow managed to pull Bella up and scooted into her seat before placing her gently in his lap. She didn't even notice when it tipped over on it's side, causing the two of them to fall ungracefully to the ground, still not able to let go of each other.

Her hands were wrapped around his neck as tight as she could get them without cutting off needed circulation and oxygen. His were around the bare skin right under the waist of her shirt, tightly knit there as well.

She could feel her heartbeat racing as his breath quickened. Their mouths, found each other over and over again, almost painfully. There were clinking teeth and mashing mouths and lips together in a roughened need. His hands moved back to her hair, tangling themselves within it. Her hands were clutching greedily at his shirt, hating that there was so much in between their bare bodies. She couldn't find it in her to stop- to want to stop. Even the need to stop somehow flew out the window when she realized what she'd been missing this whole time.

There was no name for it, really. She could throw around words like 'other half', 'true love' and 'passion'. But she had these things with Edward as well. It was just that with Jake, these things seemed more...than just words.

And for the next three hours, she thought of Jacob Black without any interruption from other errant thoughts.

She liked it when he was the only thing on her mind. And she liked it more when he was the only thing on her.