PONY CRUSADE
Fluttershy sharpened her knives. It was time. Time for the great attack upon the infidel horses.
"Are you ready to spill some glorious blood?" asked Pinkie Pie. She had drawn a picture of a bunny on one cheek, and a bloody sword on the other. She was more than ready to kill some infidels.
"Let's go on our crusade!" Fluttershy said happily.
They trotted off with their swords, axes, ninja stars, flame throwers, and one canon. It was a little tiring hauling the canon cross country, but they were ponies after all, and ponies can carry heavy things.
That's when Rainbow Dash came, and said, "I want to join your crusade."
"No, go away, Rainbow Dash. We don't like you," said Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie at the same time.
"I have a grenade launcher."
"Hmm. Let me see it," said Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash handed it over. Then Fluttershy ran off with it. Pinkie Pie grabbed it and sold it on the black market. They raised money in that manner for their crusade.
Along the way to the land of the infidel horses, they stole 1) lawnmower, 2) Faberge eggs, 3) a really adorable stuffed bear, 4) a small child, 5) a kimono, 6) a quilt with a picture of a bear on it, 7) Rainbow Dash's darling set of teacups that she brought with her everywhere. After selling it all on the black market, they had so much money, they could wage ten crusades.
But selling was hard work. Their hooves got very sore. Fluttershy got an abscess. It was on her hoof and it hurt a lot. Gasoline spilled out with every step. Pinkie Pie tried to sell it on the black market, but Rarity wouldn't buy it. She had already spent too much money buying a lawnmower, Faberge eggs, a stuffed bear, a small child, a kimono, a quilt, teacups, and a grenade launcher.
"Maybe we should do this crusade another day," said Fluttershy.
"The infidels will still be there," agreed Pinkie Pie.
So they split their profits, went home, and went to bed.
THE END