Bella sighed happily as she rolled up to her father's house in her beat up truck. She had been daydreaming about that beautiful vampire with the golden eyes.

"Oh, Edward," Bella murmured as she strode into the house.

"Hello, dear. How was school?" Her father greeted her once she had set down her backpack.

"It was good," Bella smiled. She answered the same way every day, regardless of what had occurred at school.

"What do you want for dinner? Steak or cheeseburgers?"

Bella stopped moving completely. She stood staring blankly for several moments. Her father usually didn't ask her to make decisions. Bella stuttered for a little while, until she managed to squeak out an "I don't know."

"Oh. Well I was leaning toward steak. Is that okay with you?" Her father was visibly concerned.

"I guess," Bella smiled and went upstairs.

Later that night, Bella was lying in bed awake, unable to stop thinking about Edward, seeing as he was the most interesting thing that had happened to her since her ballet lessons from when she was a little girl. It was because she had been awake she heard the almost imperceptible noise of something-or someone-outside her window.

She watched tensely as a shadow opened her window and crawled through. The light hit its face, revealing it to be her prince, Edward.

"What are you doing here?" She shrieked.

"Bella, since the first moment I saw and tried to savagely rape your mind and found I couldn't, I've been in love with you."

"Oh, Edward! You are so romantic!" Bella giggled, "But what do you mean?"

"I'm able to read people's thoughts. It's my Special Vampire Superpower," Edward explained, "But for some reason it doesn't work on you..."

"And now you're in love me?"

"Yep," Edward chirped joyfully.

"Oh, by why someone so plain as me?" Bella said, trying to widen her eyes, and blink sweetly. She tried to bring out the inner uguu-animegirl in her.

"Well, as I've mentioned before, I can't read your thoughts, which interests me. Also, you're pretty," he smiled at Bella, and she felt her heart beat faster.

"But...is that it?"

"You're...very pretty?" Edward smiled wider.

"Oh, Edward!" Bella blushed a deep red, "You have such a way with words!"

"So, what do we do now?" He asked.

"Have sex?" Bella started unbuttoning her shirt.

"LOLNO," Edward replied.

And they lived ignorantly ever after.

EPILOGUE:

Bella cradled her newborn child happily, gazing at her daughter with adoring eyes.

"What should be name her?" Edward lovingly asked Bella.

"I want to combine two names of two people that are very important to me," Bella said, "So she will be named BritneyKesha."

"Absolutely beautiful, darling," Edward murmured.

In a few weeks, when BritneyKesha was already able to start walking, Edward and Bella, gazing at their lovely daughter toddling around in a meadow, were interrupted by-

"Oh dear lord! Our daughter is being raped by a werewolf!"