I see her everyday. Smiling, laughing, with her friend. People her age. And whenever she sees me she smiles and waves. God I love that smile. The one she reserves for me. for her older friend. Her older friend that's what I am. All I am.
That night at Liberty Island still haunts me. Her screams tore through my heart. All I wanted to do was stop her pain. Shelter her. Keep her safe. But I Couldn't. Magneto held me powerless. God I hate that heartless Bastard. She was just a kid. Albeit an extremely beautiful one but that had nothing to do with it. he was using her for some stupid scheme that didn't even work. It didn't even work, for gods sake! But he was still killing her. making her suffer. Making me watch her suffer. Until Scott helped out. Again. I don't know what it was about her. Why I gave her a lift. Why my heart went out to her like that. but she got stuck in the van and I couldn't help her. Until Scott came. I've never saved her. It was always Scott. God, if he hadn't taken that shot. No, I won't even think about it. But it's true. it was all done to him hat she's still alive. Yeah I gave her my power, but that was nothing. I still remember holding her close. Knowing she was gone. Knowing I'd failed. Failed her. Failed myself. Killed her. I still remember her scent. Cinnamon underlayed with fear. So much fear. It's so unfair that she had to be so afraid. Why did I want to protect her so badly? I wanted to take her away. Hide her. Protect her from everyone and everything. Not let anyone but me near her. and then the intoxicating pull of her mutation. I've become addicted to her touch. It kills me and yet makes me feel so alive. But I'll never touch her again. She's to scared. Scared of herself.
She's so beautiful. Even with those white stripes. They're a constant reminder of my failure. Of my inability to protect her. To have her. I want to take those luscious lips in mine. Want to feel her wondrous curves beneath my hands. Want to have her. Want her to be completely and utterly mine. Mine. But she never will be. She's what? Fifteen? And what am I? One hundred or so? It would just look like some dirty old man. She should be with someone her own age. Not me. Not this dirty old piece of nothing that wouldn't even be able to protect her. That's all they would see. The old man. Not the heartbroken lover. They'd think it disgusting. Nobody would see how I really feel. How much I love her. I love her. It's the truth. I don't know why. Why my heart feels like it's growing and dying at the same time every time I see her. I hardly knew her when we met, but I wanted to protect her. And it's simply grown. I thought it might go away after a while. That after a while I'd see that she's fine by herself. And she is. But I still want to look after her. And it won't the feeling will never go away. I will always want her. Always love her. And never have her.
A/N This is my first ever ever ever fanfiction so please please please review because it will actually mean the world to me and I will love you forever.