The limo provided by S.H.E.I.L.D. was a thank you for attending the event. Little did they know how the past has made me hate Limousine's. Steve notices how tense I am. His jokes are awful, but it's pleasing to know he cares. I rest my head on his shoulder. We have become very comfortable with one another. He reminds me of James. His voice, his actions, his humor, his smell all give me comfort in the memory of my love. Though he isn't exactly like him, it's simply that they were close.
He squeezes my hand quickly and gives me the made for a hero smile.
The personal appearances do pay well and The Captain and I together always got a good response. Rumor is that we are dating. I guess that's what it looks like from an outside perspective.
We arrive at the hotel and step of the limo. Steve lets go of my hand. Appearances are everything. He is wearing a charcoal colored suit with a navy blue tie. I am wearing a flowing white dress, with a scoop neck and spaghetti straps. Gold sandals top off the Grecian inspired look. My longer blonde hair is down and straight with light smoky eyes and a slight stain of red on my lips. I do my best to not look grumpy but I've become good at it, especially with the camera flashes. I get held behind Steve, but not for long. He doesn't let me. He grabs my hand and pulls me inside.
"You know your face won't break." He says
"Yeah, yeah, if I smile." I answer. The roll of my eyes probably gets caught in the flash of another camera.
We enter the ball room that is decorated mostly in silver and black. I feel out of place. The room is huge and filled with people that have more money than should be allowed. I was sure we were there as trophies. That was fine. A couple more of these and I could own a home like Tony's beach mansion.
The host greats us and we are seated at a table towards the front of the room. Dinner is presented to us and we eat with multiple interruptions. The same questions. Picture, how much can you lift, and our favorite, can you fly? We are robotic with our instructed charming answers. Steve is so much better at it than I am. He can even produce a gleam in his eye where I have to blink back the roll.
We near the end of our two hour time period and I see him. Or I think I see him. I keep myself calm. He is in a suit. His hair is combed and slicked back away from his face. I blink and shake my head. Then stop or Steve will notice.
"I need to powder my nose." I say to Steve excusing myself. He nods and smiles. I get up slowly. I've lost sight of him. My heart beats rapidly. Why is he here? I move across the room actually making my way to the restroom area but my eyes are darting everywhere. I am stopped for idle chit chat and I can put on no airs tonight. I break away using the excuse nature is calling. He has completely disappeared. Finally I have walked the whole length of the room and it hits me. I dart back to Steve. No interruptions this time. I sit casually but touch Steve's arm.
"We need to go." I say
He looks at me with concern. "Everything alright?"
"James is here." I answer
"What?!" he is shocked and I see his eyes graze the room. "Are you sure?"
"Yes." I answer annoyed. "I wanted to be sure so I got up but I couldn't find him."
"You got up to find him? By yourself? Are you insane." Steve fusses
"Yes. Okay but I didn't see him. Now can we go? There's only one…or two reasons why he would be here."
Steve knows. I don't have to explain anymore to him. We excuse ourselves from the host and I swear I see him out of the corner of my eye again but I dare not to look again. If James knew that I knew he was there we would been dead by now.
In the limo Steve directs the driver to take us to an address I didn't know.
"We're going to switch cars and get a hotel somewhere." He says
I nod understanding.
A quick trip to a 24 hour department store for clothes and we're on our way. Two hours away. Steve is on his phone most of the time speaking with S.H.E.I.L.D. The Winter Soldier was on our trail and that was never a good path.
We finally arrive at the hotel and find the room with one bed.
"I requested two." He said
"I know." I say softly.
I change in the bathroom and wash my face. I brush my hair and it hits me. I've seen James. All the breath leaves my chest and I double over. I grab the sink for support and breathe in stale oxygen. I saw him and I ran from him. I should've found him, talked to him. He would remember me. I knew he would.
A knock from Steve. He was so damn perceptive.
"Sam?" He calls
I open the door. There's no need to hide my emotions from him.
"I'm… okay." I say. My chest is heaving. Some sort of panic attack was overwhelming me.
Steve grabs my shoulders. "It's okay." He says
I nod quickly but the air was tight in my chest. He pulls me out of the bathroom and drags me to the middle of the hotel room.
"Relax." He says soothing
I nod sucking in a deep breath and letting it go. It feels better but I still feel heavy.
"You could've gotten us killed. You see something like that again you have to tell me!" He says hands still on my shoulders
I nod wide eyed at this reaction I've just had.
"I need to know as partners!" He says
"Okay." I say out of patience.
"And he was my friend." He says. The emphasis he puts on friend makes my heart skip a beat. I never thought about his friendship with James just my own selfish love I had for him. I frown and look Steve in the eye.
"I'm sorry I didn't think." I said
He nods and lets me go. I pull in a long breath and release it slowly. Steve walks to the bed and throws one of the pillows in the floor. I laugh at him.
"What are you doing?" I ask
He goes to the closet and pulls a blanket out.
"I'm sleeping in the floor." He says
"Don't play Mr. Nice guy. You're not sleeping in the floor. If you do, I do."
He large shoulders drop.
"It's not like we've never slept in the same bed before."
"That's different. It wasn't a hotel room."
Many nights I cried myself to sleep, some more recent than I'd like to admit. I'd jump into bed with Steve like a child during a thunderstorm. He'd willingly accept me tears and all. It wasn't the easiest thing. Steve was nearly the size of a god. His pecs were as big as my breasts. His shoulders were huge that led to his narrow chiseled waist.
We get in the bed. He lay on his back and immediately join him by resting my head on his chest. I leave my arms to myself but he wraps his around me and trails soothing circles across the skin on my arm.
"You doing okay?" He asks
"I think so. You?"
He sighs. "I miss my friend. I can't even tell you how it feels to have him back for a moment and then he's taken away with the push of a button."
"I'm sorry." I say
"It's not your fault."
"But it is. You went to get my sister back."
"Bucky did it himself. He felt like he had no choice."
"You say that like you think he did."
"I think the brainwashing for all those years made him more susceptible to it. Like as long as Pierce told him what to do, it was okay."
He was right. I remember the look in his eyes even when he wouldn't look in mine. He was still so confused. For too many years he had been told what to do. He was accustomed to it and thought he was doing the right thing. It was my fault. He had no idea how much I loved him until it was too late.
My sleep is not easy and I hate the thought that I make Steve's sleep difficult. We finally awake with a knock at the door. Both of us wake up groaning. It's too early. Steve musters out of bed and looks through the peephole. He turns to me giving me a once over then opens the door.
"Morning guys." A loud male voice says
I toss my head back on the pillow. Steve tiredly makes his way back to the bed and sits down.
"What no good morning from either of you?" It was Sam
"It's too early for that." I groan
Sam laughs.
"Sam." He says
"Sam." I respond "Never gets old does it?"
"Nope."
Steve shakes his head.
"Nice sleeping arrangements. No wonder you two are so tired."
I make a hand gesture that is an easy answer to his crude assumptions.
"Such a lady." Sam says
He was new to S.H.E.I.L.D. but not as new as me. I was the rookie. His dark eyes caught you in a gaze and it was hard to look away. Chocolate skin with the cutest little gap that made you want his mouth on your body in places the sun didn't shine.
"Anything on Bucky?" Steve asks
I notice Sam pause and it catches my attention. My eyes find his face serious.
"He went to your apartment last night." Sam says
My mouth drops open.
"You saw him?" Steve asks
"S.H.E.I.L.D. knew he was there." Sam answers
Steve shakes his head. "What if he's not trying to kill us?" he asks
This thought hadn't occurred to me before. What if he was reaching out for help?
"He doesn't remember you, either of you." Sam says making more sense than the two of us.