A/N: you know its funny, i think this is like the first fanfic i've every completed XDD so i guess its my first one shot. just a stroke of inspiration. songfic when you're gone by avril levine. it sounds sad at the beginning but i promise there's a happy ending. personally i think its kind of funny too... or at least a little ironic sort of... anyways please enjoy and review blah blah blah yadi yadi yadah.
*insert disclaimer blahbidiblah here*
I always needed time on my own
Day 8: I'm the one who's always complaining about how annoying you are. Always getting in the way when I'm trying to meet a deadline; always distracting me, making me lose my train of thought. Well I'm finally alone! No brat in sight! Great…
Never thought I'd need you there when I cry
Day 16: I remember that time I cried. The first time in years, Ha… it had been so long I forgot what tears were until I realized they were falling down my face. My head started to hurt and my eyes blurred. I don't even remember why I cried. Though I'll never admit it, I guess it's a good thing you were there… to catch me…
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
Day 24: tick… tock… Tick… tock… Why can't the clock move any faster? It's never moved this slowly before! How long has it been since you left? I've lost count already. What was once a 24 hour day now seems like 24 years; somehow the days are longer without your annoying voice…
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
Day 31: It's funny. I always grumbled and said the bed was too small for the both of us even though it's a king sized bed. Now I have it all to myself, the whole thing. It's big. I can't seem to keep myself from leaving your side empty. What's the point anyways? It's not like you're going to be there when I wake up in the morning…
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Day 38: … 9, 10, 11, 11 steps from the bed room door to the front door. Then again my legs are a lot longer than yours so… 13 or 14 steps. That's how many steps it took for you to walk out of the house, and leave me behind… Ugh! What the hell am I doing? I have better things to do!
Do you see how much I need you right now?
Day 45: Sitting here on the couch, I never realized how big it really was. I never realized why the people at the furniture store looked at me funny when I said I was buying it just for myself. "Such a big couch for just one person? Are you going to sleep on it?" they said. I scoffed at them. But now I understand why they said that. The couch was fin for 3 or 4 people to sit… but there's just one person on it. I never noticed how big it was. You were always lying down on my lap whenever I sat on the couch, legs sprawled out over it. Stupid brat…
I've never felt this way before
Day 51: God Damn it! Why the fuck am I so annoyed? Damn brat! You were annoying enough when you were here and now that you're not I'm even more annoyed! It's all you fault! All you fault…
Everything that I do reminds me of you
Day 57: I need a cigarette… I pulled one out, last one in the pack. If you were here, you'd probably yell at me for smoking so much, and then we'd get into another argument about me smoking and how it's bad for my health. Sometimes you're like a mother hen with the way you nag. But I never can stay mad at you for telling me not to smoke because I'd always pull out my lighter and see the picture of us. Who knew that picture would have such a huge affect; no wonder you forced me to put it on there. I'd have to say it's kept me from smoking a good dozen of cigarettes since you've gone. Can't even smoke without thinking about you anymore…
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor. And they smell just like you
Day 63: I need a shower; I can't remember the last time I took one. I open the closet and grab some clothes. There, your clothes lie in the corner since I shoved them there, saying they stake up too much space. They'll get wrinkled dumbass, and you and I both know that you're too lazy to iron them… I pick them up and hang them properly. Even your clothes smell like strawberries, just like you…
I love the things that you do
Day 68: On the bright side, I don't have to listen to that annoying pop music of yours. I don't know how you can listen to that stuff; it's just a bunch of bull shit. It's nothing but computer generated sounds with mindless lyrics. Irritating crap… but if it's so irritating, then why do I listen to your album when I turn on the stereo…
Do you see how much I need you right now?
Day 72: "Hey brat, get me some coffee!" Silence rings through the house. I almost forgot why it is so quiet; because you're not there…
When you're gone
Day 76: Over 2 months without fucking anybody… that's a new record. Personally I think it should go down in history since I barely ever went more than a week without screwing your lights out. It's not like anyone is stopping me from finding some hooker off the street, so then why don't I? Every time I think about it, something says no…
The pieces of my heart are missing you
Day 79: She looked up at him in pain from both the cut and from her heart. "Why?" she said to him, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.
He started back at her blankly, "I told you to stay away from me didn't I? I told you, I'm not someone who is capable of feeling what you call love. It's your own fault Shuichi."
Wait what? Shuichi! I quickly erase the name from my screen. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I writing your name unconsciously? This isn't the first time either; I've already done it three times today. Ha, now that I think about it, it's true… I'm not someone who is capable of feeling what you call love… Am I?
And when you're gone
Day 82: The strawberry aroma has faded into almost nothing under the smell of beer and cigarettes. I've always hated the smell of strawberries; of course, that didn't stop you from buying strawberry scented EVERYTHING. Even your perfume (which you insist is cologne) smells like strawberries. Without you around, it doesn't smell like strawberries anymore. I should be delighted; so then why do I find myself spraying your perfume around the house…?
The face I came to know is missing too
Day 85: I wake up with the sun shining on my face. Something's not right; I could have sworn there was a pink ball next to me the night before. Then I realize how delusional I am for thinking that. It's been almost 3 months since there was a pink ball next to me, snoring away the night. I remember it well… droll would leak from your lips and you'd unconsciously wipe it away with your hand. Then you were likely to say my name in your sleep or hum the song you wrote for me...
And when you're gone
Day 87: Ugh, I need food; I can't remember the last time something besides beer went down my throat. I search through the kitchen to find nothing but your strawberry pocky. Crap. In my mind, I consider running out and buying something or ordering delivery. But then I didn't bother. I just grab your stupid box of pink biscuits and begin to nibble on them one by one. Like I said, I hate strawberries, and sweets; but I guess I can understand why these are so addicting…
All the words I need to hear will always get me through
Day 89: "I love you Yuki!" It's been so long since I've heard you say that, so long since I've heard your voice call my name. The funny thing is that's not even my name. Actually I would think you'd call me Eiri since Yuki is the name of the man you likely hate the most. You were always the one to accuse me of still loving him and complaining about it… 'I love you Eiri' ha, has a nice ring…
The day and make it ok
Day 90: For the first time in three months, I hear the front door open and close from my study. And of course, it was followed by loud thumps of footsteps and bags with the occasional "Ouch that hurt! Stupid bag!" Huh, no bag could be more stupid than you. I can here you running, coming closer to me after so long… "YUKI! Tadaima!" Ow, my eardrums are surely popping with that ridiculously loud scream of yours. It only takes you a few microseconds before you manage to jump and hold onto me for dear life, showering me with kisses. "Oh, I missed you so much Yuki! It was horrible not seeing you for so long!"
I miss you
"Baka…" You smile at me like a lost puppy who finally found its master, and though it's not like me to show much affection towards you, I couldn't stop myself from holding you closer to me.
I missed you…
"That's it. No more three-month tours for you."