I don't own SVU, but I do own the characters you don't recognize.
She sat on the couch, struggling to keep her eyes open. The exhaustion consumed her, and she was desperate for a period of long, interrupted sleep. She longed just to shut her eyes and be able to zone out the nightmare she was living.
It had already been a long day and it hadn't really begun.
You'd think she'd be used to this routine by now. After all, she had been living by the same schedule for a little over a year now. But instead of it getting any easier, instead of finding some normalcy, getting used to the pattern, the strictures she knew she must live by, it only got harder.
The balancing act, the double life, the façade a titular tight rope. A balance beam she fought to stay on. She inched across the slippery, perilous slope, forcing herself to keep putting one foot in front of the other for the sake of the ones she cared for most of all.
And keeping the two littler ones in mind, she forced herself to go against every natural, selfish instinct she had, and pushed herself off the couch when she heard the rude blast of the alarm clock she'd set.
Sighing to herself, it took her a moment to find her balance and regain her clarity of sight after blurring everything out on the couch.
Looking at the clock, she found that it was a little past 9:30 at night.
"Dammit," she cursed to herself, as she remembered she had forgotten to pack her bag earlier.
Rushing to her room, she sloppily and readily tossed her regular attire into the generic bag, hurriedly zipping the duffel shut in case a pair of younger eyes happened to peer inside the room.
She swung the bag up onto her shoulder, simultaneously grabbing her key ring from the bedside table.
"Sarah! Leah! Let's go, I have to leave!" she yelled somewhat impatiently.
Leah was first to scamper out the door of the shared bedroom. The younger of the two, her strawberry blonde hair whipped behind her as she ran with purpose towards her eldest sister. As she jumped into her arms, Alicia couldn't help but crack a smile.
True, she was tired, and yes, she absolutely hated what she had to do. But she knew that moving the earth would be worth taking care of sweet little Leah.
"Bye Leeshy!" the four-year-old cried, her hands still clasped behind Alicia's neck. "I'll miss you!" she said sincerely.
"You better!" Alicia joked. "It'll be okay though," she reassured, prying the small girl off of her. "I'll be back before you even wake up."
"But what if I can't fall asleep? You have to fall asleep before you can wake up." She stated in a matter-of-fact way.
"That's very true," Alicia agreed. "But I'm sure if you have trouble falling asleep, Sarah will help you. She's perfectly capable to taking care of you. Isn't that right, Sarah?" Alicia prompted, looking over at the middle of the three sisters.
"Of course," Sarah said with a small smile. "Always do," she added with a bit of regret.
"Hey," Alicia said seriously. "That's not fair. You know I have to go to work. Look," she stepped towards the twelve-year-old. "I'm trying to make a better life for us. The least you could do is help out with stuff like-"
"I know," Sarah cut her off. "I know," she sighed. "I appreciate it. It's just …ugh, never mind."
"What?" Alicia asked sincerely.
"It just sucks. I wish we could just be normal and act like sisters, not this," she said sadly, her light brown eyes dimming.
"I know, babe. And I'm sorry about that," she said honestly. "And all of these responsibilities you have, it isn't fair," she breathed, noticing the time on the clock, and knowing she had to leave soon. "It'll get better though. I promise. It has to," she smiled, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
Sarah smiled a small smile back. "You're right."
"Come here," she motioned, wrapping Sarah into a small hug. "I love you, kid."
"Love you too."
Alicia smoothed her hair and reluctantly turned away. "Goodnight. I'll see you guys later, okay?"
The two said their parting words as well, the looks on their faces making it even harder than usual to shut the door. To leave them behind for the world that awaited her.
She trudged through the snow to the gas station, the half-way point between her apartment and her workplace. She waved at the regular cashier there, and walked past the various Icee machines and miniature chip bags to the restrooms, duffel bag in hand.
She exchanged a smile with the woman who stepped out the single-stall restroom and quickly walked into the small area, locking the door and setting the bag on the ground.
Seamlessly, she slid off of casual attire of loose jeans and a hooded sweatshirt and stashed them into her bag. She replaced the modest shirt with a provocative, low-cut, strapless top. The jeans were substituted for a tight miniskirt. The casual pair of sneakers swapped out for a pair of mountainous high heels.
She wiped the small about of make-up she had, feeling it was best to work with a clean slate. Alicia took out the small cosmetic container, and generously applied gaudy amounts of blue eye-shadow, tan foundation, fire-y red lipstick, and mascara until she could feel her eyelashes touch the bottom of her eyebrows.
After the ritualistic and demeaning makeover transformation was complete, she couldn't help but catch a glance of herself in the mirror. She looked closer and examined her face.
She looked old.
And not in the mature, classy, sophisticated way that's appealing. She was looking positively, unattractively old. She spotted wrinkles starting to form on her cheeks. There were permanent under-eye circles tattooing the skin under her eyes. She looked like absolute hell.
Alicia took a deep breath, telling herself to focus. She could worry about her looks later; right now she had a job to do.
She stashed her bag under the sink in the gas station restroom, her makeshift gym locker/storage container when she worked.
As she strutted out the door, she got a range of reactions, ranging from catcalls to whistling to looks of pure disgust.
She caught the eye of the woman she had smiled at earlier. She wasn't smiling now. Most certainly not. Instead her face was wearing a mixture of shock and repugnance.
Alicia was used to it.
People usually didn't look too kindly on her when she was wearing her career persona.
She walked to her place on the sidewalk, into the group of ladies in a similar position. Irene and Chloe were working tonight as well, which lightened her mood a little. Chloe was always entertaining to pass the time with, especially after she got a few drinks in her. Chloe was a deliriously happy drunk, delusional and starry-eyed after getting tipsy. And Irene was kind. She mostly kept to herself, but she was nice. She had a baby girl at home, so she was gentle. Although, Alicia could also tell Irene pitied her a bit, which bothered her. She hated being pitied. Still, she was nice enough, and interesting enough to pass the time with if need be.
She waved to her regular group. There were about eight of them tonight, a few of them she didn't recognize. However, she didn't inquire about their presence. She gets dirty looks from a couple of the unfamiliar faces. Luckily, she doesn't need to. Before they got too far into pointless chatter, several cars pulled up, the group dispersing and disappearing one-by-one to do what they were there to do.
"Hey, honey," he said when he pulled up next to her. He was nothing special. He contained nothing that set him apart from anyone else. Middle-aged, a little on the heavier side, dark hair, brown eyes. He drove an ordinary red car, a little on the beat-up side, and obviously well-worn and used. "Get in," he said with a large smile, not particularly mean, but not extremely inviting either. As if there was even a way to be welcoming in a situation like this.
"Sure, baby," she said, plastering on a seductive smile. She told herself it was just acting. It made it easier that way, displacing herself from the situation. Like she could just remove herself from her body and watch it all happening, like in a movie. A movie she didn't want to see, but a movie nonetheless. It was better than facing the reality of the situation anyway.
"Where we going?" she asked nonchalantly. She always asked. She'd have been stupid not to ask. She needed at least a little control of her destiny. Or if not in control, informed at the very least.
"Hotel on Brady," he said with a thick Jersey accent.
"Schmidt?" She inquired. She'd been to the Schmidt Hotel before. It was a tacky, classless, and frankly rather sketchy place. She hoped she was wrong.
"Yeah, Schmidt," he said, placing a cigarette in his mouth before offering her one. She didn't usually smoke; she hated the way it made her feel suffocated, plus, for practical reasons, cigarettes were damn expensive. However, because of the prospect of the night in the nasty hotel, she figured she could use some artificial relaxant, and readily lit one for herself.
"Thanks, sugar," she said after blowing a puff of smoke out and trying not to cough. She still wasn't quite used to the process. Her lungs hadn't adapted to the habit quite yet.
The man grunted what she took to be a "you're welcome" though she couldn't be certain.
"So how long you want me for?" Alicia asked, peering at the clock inside his car. She wanted to be back before four, so she could at least get a few hours of sleep. Plus, it'd give her ample time before Leah and Sarah woke up.
"You're a talker, huh?" the man asked, annoyed.
"I was just trying to-"
"Well I don't like talkers. So shut that pretty little damn mouth of yours," he commanded.
Alicia looked to the right and rolled her eyes. Great, not only did she not get her question answered but she got stuck with an angry one. Angry ones were the worst. They always wanted it rough, which usually meant leaving marks. She had to be careful about covering those so her little sisters didn't get suspicious. You can only explain away so many bruises with fake stories about tripping or nicking yourself on a cabinet…
They drove the rest of the ride in silence, because God forbid she ask a simple question without getting cursed at. And when they arrived at the hotel they checked in quickly and without question. It was one of those hotels. The kind meant for this kind of thing, and where no one thought it was strange how a young girl dressed like this was going in a hotel room alone with a man like that.
It started off like any normal job. He wasn't much for sweet talk beforehand, and he was the rude, arrogant kind while it was actually happening. He liked the control, the dominance, it got him off. He also enjoyed a use of some vulgar, colorful language that Alicia found totally unnecessary. She could see why he had to pay for it.
Alicia ignored it, trying to use her dream-like haze to displace herself from her body. But it was hard this time. He was the roughest she'd ever dealt with, and she couldn't handle it after awhile.
"Gentler, baby," she gritted her teeth, adding the 'baby' so hopefully he'd cooperate.
"Shut up, bitch!" he yelled back.
She tried remaining quite for a few more moment. "Honey, please, I'm serious," she said, this time with desperateness in her voice.
"I said shut the hell up! I ain't paying for your voice!" he screamed, slapping her hard in the face before grabbing her shoulders and violently shaking.
She blinked and a single tear involuntarily rolled out before she could stop it.
How had she gotten into this?
And would she able to get out?
It's good to be back, fanfiction. I've missed you dearly. Props to justliziam for being my publicist/editor/friend/title-creator/muse/idea bouncer-offer/loads of other things for this story. It'll probably end up being around five chapters. Show the love and review!