Esme
Ugh, since when have I been so…plain? Let's face it, my whole life. On the eve of my wedding day, I already doubted my ability to be half the wife to my soon-to-be husband as he was going to be to me. I picked up my ceramic hand made brush and ran it through my hair. I guess I must be a lucky woman to be getting married at all…
The next morning, I woke up at the crack of dawn. My mother and sister hurried into the room I was staying in to help me get prepared for the biggest day of my life – my wedding day. I was going to marry Charles Evenson and my married name would soon be Esme Evenson. In my ears, I didn't sound right. But, in the ears of my parents and everybody else who practically forced me into this marriage it was like money to their ears. I tried to be civil about it and not my facial expressions show my hesitation towards the man I was soon to call my husband. But, I loved him either way. He is my first love and my only love. I don't believe I'd ever loved anybody else the way that I loved Charles. But that still didn't help the reluctance. I looked up at my self in the mirror after thinking the day away and gasped. I had never seen anyone so beautiful in my life. And now, I was it.
After spending the first few months of my marriage in blissful happiness, I soon found out that Charles was not all that I intended. I thought he was a daring, kind, courageous man. And after a few months I found out he was arrogant, greedy, and all around bad guy. I didn't feel safe. And that didn't help the fact that I had just found out I was pregnant. I wanted this baby to have the most loving home in the world. And I was afraid I was not going to be able to provide for him by the way that Charles was treating me. Him…ah, I love him more than my own life already…
The happiest moment in my life came the day that Charles received the letter to say he was being set over seas with the Army. My heart leaped when he was reading the letter, my thoughts jumping to conclusions so quickly that I had yet to process them. I wanted to take my husband to the port and put him on the first ship over seas immediately. But, I would have to wait a month. I was only about three months pregnant, so there was still time for Charles to leave and for me to still have the baby while he was away. I wanted to get rid of him so fast that it hurt. I would only have to wait about a month more before he would be gone and I could him send him the divorce papers while he was over seas so that no harm would come to the baby and I. I was practically jumping up and down the day Charles left. I had hugged him goodbye and told him that I would write him letters every day – something I was not planning remotely on doing after the way he had treated me in our marriage. The boat left port and my first stop on the way back home was to a divorce lawyer's office. He handed me the paper work after explaining my situation to him. I walked out of that office with the biggest smile on my face and I didn't care who saw it. I was free and nobody could stop my son and me from having the perfect life I'd been dreaming of. It took a lot of courage to even consider leaving Charles in the first place, but I knew it was right. Right for me and my son.
I spent the next couple of months preparing myself for the birth of Julian. I had decided that day when I walked out of the lawyer's office that I would name my son Julian. It was such a noble name and I had had it in mind as a name for my son even before I was pregnant or even married. I looked down at the huge belly in front of my and smiled. It had been a rough couple of months since Charles' departure and the divorce being finalized. I had bought my own home outside of the city of Columbus and was going to see a pediatrician every couple of weeks to make sure that Julian was doing well. "About another two weeks, Esme. Then you will finally be able to meet your son." The doctor had said. I was ecstatic. The tears of joy welled up like no other. And I didn't care at all. I had to prepare for the birth of my son.
Before I knew it, I was in the Columbus hospital. I had been having contractions since the early morning, but had come in a couple hours after to make sure that they were true and not false alarms. Nope, they're not false alarms that's for sure… "Okay, Esme you have to start pushing now. It'll only be a couple of them and then you'll get to see Julian. Now, push" I pushed, and I pushed, and I pushed. And then my miracle happened. I was the mother of a beautiful, brown-haired, green-eyed, baby boy. It was a dream come true and I couldn't believe my eyes.
My perspective changed that day. I had become a mother and Julian was my son. My instinct was to protect my son in all scenarios, even the small ones. And that is what I failed miserably at. My son died four days into his precious life. I wanted to scream at the doctors and nurses for failing so miserably, but I couldn't. I was incapable of shouting or yelling or anything of that nature. I was scared, scared for the son who I'd lost. Who was going to take care of him now? God? He had trillions of other people to look after. He couldn't look after one little four day old boy, could he? I didn't believe that, so I had to take myself to him. I had to be there to hold his hand and make sure he was alright in every capacity. So I went to the nearest cliff I could find. And jumped. I had to be with him, I had to be with my son.
All I remember falling, the excruciating pain that seen like it went on for days and never waking up from the horrid nightmare, until I opened my eyes and stared into the eyes of the most beautiful man, besides my son, that I had seen.
"Hello, Esme. You may not remember me from your youth, but I'm Carlisle. Carlisle Cullen."