My Happy Ending
A/N: I'm sorry JR fans! But I absolutely LOVE Blackwater! I had to post something, so here it is!
Summary: I really did try to get over him. I mean, that counts for something, right? Sorry, wrong.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The song belongs to Avril Lavigne.
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Sam was bad enough. When I saw it, when I realized what it meant, I knew my life was over. And for the longest time, I couldn't understand. Sam and I were in love. And… Emily? Sure, she was pretty, but why? Why me? Why Sam? Why my cousin?
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
I really did try to get over him. I mean, that counts for something, right? You get something for trying, some reward, something that makes you feel like you're doing something right for a change, right? Sorry, wrong. You get nothing. You get to stare your cousin, your best friend, in the face and know that she loves the man you do. Do you have any idea how it feels to be stuck like that? Well, Jacob, I suppose you do, but not anymore. Not now that I've faced the same rejection twice. The same end. The same disappointment. The same thousand-year death. Eternal aloneness. You've got your Nessie, Sam's got his Emily, and I've got me. Yipee (note the sarcasm).
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
In the end, you'd think it would be easier. We're at least half-human, right? You'd think a bottle of pills or a gun or something would do the trick. But no, not even cliff diving could kill me now. Huh. And to think that it was cliff diving that started it all. If your formerly precious Bella hadn't jumped off the damn cliff, the damn bloodsuckers wouldn't have come back, and your damn Nessie wouldn't exist. Maybe then I'd get my damn happy ending.
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Because, after all, if you notice, everyone else got their happy ending. The two love-struck bloodsuckers get each other, and you get your precious Nessie. Hmph. What exactly do I get? Yeah, I get away from Sam. Woop-di-doo. I've got another problem now. So I can either go back and face Sam, face the rejection, or I can stay here and face you, face the same rejection, only a hundred times worse, 'cause your damn imprint is half-vampire. Damn you Jacob Black. Damn it, damn it, damn it. You couldn't have waited 'till I was dead? Then everyone would be happy. Seth would be your Second, Sam wouldn't have me hanging around all the time, and you wouldn't have me in your pack, just like you wanted from the very beginning.
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
Huh. You know, it's funny. And I don't mean that literally, believe me. What I mean is, it's kind of predictable, isn't it? Why do I have to fall in love with every male werewolf who's going to imprint? I suppose now I'll fall in love with Embry. Or Brady. Or Collin. Hell, why don't I just fall in love with my own damn brother? I guess I should have seen it coming. Just when I thought (not aloud; couldn't let you hear me, could I?) that we could be what I wanted us to be, your damn former girlfriend gave birth. A beautiful little girl, wrapped up in pink blankets. Why couldn't she just have fallen in love with that Newton kid, the kid you always call a marshmallow? Things would have been so much simpler.
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
In the end, I put it down to myself. Who else is there to blame? I couldn't blame Sam, not knowing what it was like. Knowing the intensity of the feeling that burned inside him every time he saw his beloved Emily. And I can't blame you. I see you every day, O noble Alpha. Problems, problems. It can't be good for my health, you know. Blaming myself for everything, I mean.
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Maybe if you would just notice. Just recognize the feeling that burns inside me every time I see you. Maybe you're just so used to it that you don't even notice. Maybe that's the reason. Or maybe it's my original thought. Maybe I'm just defective. I knew female werewolves were a bad idea. Damn it. Damn everything. Damn you, damn me, damn Sam, damn the whole damn tribe for all I care. Maybe it would make things better, and maybe it wouldn't.
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
In retrospect, maybe being human wasn't so bad. Then I wouldn't have to look you in the face and know that you'll never love me. Not even when she's dead. Not even when she's been gone. It's… impossible. But of course, there are other benefits to being human. For example, maybe killing myself wouldn't be so hard. Maybe it just wouldn't be so damn hard.
He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories so close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Please Jacob. For once in your damn life, see me for who and what I am. A girl with a crush. Okay, more than a crush. A girl whose got a damn crush on you. See me for… me. Don't think of me as Sam's little annoyance, or the girly werewolf, or even Seth's overprotective big sister. Think of me… as a friend. At least. I think I can live with that.
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending
I think.
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
A/N: PLEASE give me your opinion! I suspected Blackwater from the moment Leah joined his pack, and I always felt bad for her, no matter what anyone said. Please tell me how I did!
Off to take over the world,
Crazy Girl