RASPBERRY JAEGER

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, JKR owns them, as well as a house and a car and gum. On the other hand, I own glittery nailpolish.

A/N: I know this first chapter is not very well-written, but it's my least favourite part in the whole story. My apologies… I promise it will get better.

I

"Playing Russian Roulette"

Nymphadora Tonks, a usually self-collected 22 year old, was feeling extremely nervous. She could feela whole nest of butterflies inside her guts. Of course, she had a perfectly good reason, the same reason most high school (and even older!) girls have: her dear and beloved crush was around and she was about to make a bold move… The same bold move that to these very same girls seems like a matter of life or death.

Life: said crush says "yes", they kiss and live happily ever after for a minimum period of one week.

Death: said crush ignores the girl, runs away or, worse still, pats her sympathetically on the back and says "I only like you as a friend".

And therefore, There she was, standing on the chilly hall of 12, Grimmauld Place, picking at the skin around her fingers (from which she had scrubbed off any remains of fluorescent yellow polish) and watching the strange wallpaper. The house was full of weird creaks and mops, but Tonks wasn't afraid. She would sooner fight with a ghoul than do what she was about to do.

Are you a girl or a mouse?, she asked herself, angrily. If she had the guts to be an Auror, she had the guts to do this. Drawing her wand from her robe, she charmed a small copper plaque on the wall and checked herself out: The heart-shaped face and bubblegum pink hair, her trademarks, seemed inappropriate. Although she had a gift most girls would give anything for, Tonks had a problem: nothing ever seemed to fit quite right, and she felt like she was wearing a mask. She never felt like "herself" no matter what she did. Except, of course, her bubblegum pink hair, that acted much like her dino plushie had in her childhood.

With a small sigh, she tried to focus on what she wanted to look like. Her hair seemed too… childish for that occasion; the last thing she wanted would be to be compared to a younger sister. Strangely, this thought made Ginny's red hair pop into her mind for a few seconds, and instead of a different shade of pink she got a strange raspberry colour.

"Not too bad." She thought, venturing another glance at the mirror, still surprised with the outcome and giving herself a pair of dark blue eyes to match it.

Then, taking a deep breath, Tonks arranged her clothes – an Ireland Quidditch Team t-shirt and a green plaid skirt emblazoned with mock prefect badges, which hopingly wouldn't remind him of the Slytherin students – and pushed open the wooden kitchen door.

The room was empty except, of course, for Remus. It was almost evening and soon it would be full of people, but the Order members were running errands and the Weasley-kids were upstairs with Hermione, doing (or pretending to do) their homework. For now, they had peace. Especially for what Tonks was going to say.

"Hey, Remus?" She called, making him look up from "The Daily Prophet". Closing her eyes for a few minutes and praying it would work, she started, "I have something to tell you."

Remus closed the paper and stared up at her interestedly, "Do tell."

"Well…" Tonks looked for words, "I know I'm like, everybody's younger sister and that you probably see me like Ginny, but you're a fellow Order member and… I think I have a crush on you Remus."

"Oh?" Although surprised, Remus smiled. That couldn't be a bad sign, could it? "Well, Tonks… you are a very fine young lady."

Trying her best not to blush or start crying, Tonks looked down as she heard Remus enumerate the reasons, "But you're too young, too rich and too healthy for me. I'm dangerous, Tonks. I'm old, I—"

Her face stained with tears, Tonks looked up, "But why won't you date? You should… you should have fun. You should go out more… you're not old, I don't care what anybody thinks. I don't care if you look like you're 60."

"That's very kind of you. But I am in a relationship with someone already. I'm sorry. It's because it's you, you're young and free. I turn into an evil creature every full moon, and even when I don't--"

"Who.. who are you seeing?" The raspberry-haired girl asked, hoping it was someone decent – and certainly not young and carefree.

Lupin sighed, opening the paper again and taking a sip of his tea, indicating that the conversation was almost settled, "Sirius. Yes, that's right, your own cousin. He's certainly not young and carefree."

Angrily, Tonks grabbed an half-empty cup of tea someone had abandoned nearby and chucked it at the wall, "That's jack, and you know it! Sirius is not a werewolf. Do you really think I buy that story? Nobody will ever see me as a girl, now will they! Urgh. I'm sick of this!" She yelled, the stomped upstairs complaining and groaning, "It's not fair!"

"Believe it or not." Remus whispered after Tonks had slammed the door shut behind her, "It's true. And I love Sirius."

Mentally, he added, No, it's not fair, but that's the way it is. Sorry, miss.