As he stood on the bridge of the "U.S.S. Enterprise," Leonard Hofstadter was no longer awestruck. Instead, he was worried. Fearful even.
There was good reason to be. The view screen showed a giant glowing hand cupped over the front of the ship. The hand's weird energy patterns obscured the stars.
So Trelane is borrowing one of Apollo's tricks, Leonard realized.
As a frequent viewer of the original "Star Trek," Leonard had seen many scenes of the "Enterprise" under attack. This included scenes of the bridge tilting while crew members tumbled in the direction of the tilt.
It was a lot different actually being on the ship. As the bridge tilted, Leonard held on to the railing next to Doctor Leonard H. "Bones" McCoy. The intense vibrations made it feel like the bridge would shake apart any moment, however unscientific that view might be. .
Leonard hoped the "Enterprise" wouldn't break apart. Especially with him on it.
"Blast it!" the doctor shouted.
Not for the first time in his life, Leonard felt helpless.
"How are Scotty and Howard doing?" Leonard asked.
Again, McCoy spoke in an almost snarling tone. "The engine room might be safer than here."
"Not logical, doctor."
Han Solo spoke up. "Spock, if you mention logic one more time-"
"Gentlemen, could we have calm, please?"
"I'm with you, Kirk," Princess Leia Organa said.
Leonard still felt a slight thrill that he was here with these characters. They were real, and he was with them for real. If only there wasn't all this danger.
Leonard saw that his roommate and friend Sheldon Cooper seemed to share that sentiment. As he clung to the railing, he had a huge grin on his face. Apparently, he was so happy to be around these characters he wasn't really thinking about the danger.
And neither was Leonard. Instead, he thought how it was to see Sheldon so happy. Like seeing a unicorn and Bigfoot at the same time.
"Leonard's right, Jim," McCoy said. "How are Scotty and Howard doing?"
Seated in his chair with Luke Skywalker to his right, Han and Leia to his left, Captain James T. Kirk pushed a button.
"Scotty, status report."
"It's touch and go, sir. Even with Trelane's brother giving us directions."
"Keep at it, Scotty."
With his arm around Leia, Han muttered, "I don't like this, Kirk. Not being in control."
With a grim look, Kirk nodded. "That makes two of us, Mister Solo."
"At least you're not fighting anymore," Sheldon offered helpfully. "I hate fighting. It's so good to see you getting along."
Han gave him a look. "Thanks, stringbean. That's very comforting."
"That's very hurtful," Sheldon said. "Oh! Wait a minute! Han Solo called me 'stringbean!' I'm honored, sir." He let out a gasping laugh more high-pitched than usual.
In contrast, Chewbacca emitted a plaintive growl/roar/yelp. Whatever you would call that noise he makes, Leonard thought as he clutched the railing with both hands..
Sulu leaned in toward Chekov. "Not sure how I feel about having the big hairy fellow on the bridge," he muttered in his distinctive deep voice.
"Hey, don't worry, guys," Raj Koothrappali said with a cheerful smile to go with his equally cheerful voice. "'The big hairy guy,' as you call him, is one of the good guys. His name may be Chewbacca but you can call him 'Chewie' for short."
"That is a very unusual name," Chekov said.
"Oh, really...Pavel?" Raj countered. He was still slightly drunk from the beer he had drunk in Leonard's apartment.
"Right now I feel safer with anyone but that Trelane character," McCoy muttered. Chewbacca roared loud agreement while Raj pet his arm. "Couldn't have said it better, Chewbacca."
"Don't worry, guys," Raj said.
"I wish we didn't have to worry, Raj," Leonard said.
As Sulu and Chekov did what they could at their stations, Luke and Leia held hands as they gazed at the viewscreen.
As Leonard looked around at his new friends, he couldn't help thinking. And maybe it was just a mental defense to help him cope with the strangeness and stress of it all.
How did all this start?
"Gentlemen, welcome." The dark-haired man dressed like George Washington made a sweeping gesture of his arm as he directed his guests to an opening in the corridor. "If you will look out at the field, you will see some very familiar figures."
Leonard squinted. "Yeah, they do look kind of familiar."
"I have arranged a temporary cease-fire," the man said with a slight bow.
"Cease-fire?" Leonard said.
The guy held up a finger. "Fear not. I have provided a force field to protect you."
"Cool!" they said.
Still, Leonard thought how annoying it was when a character in a movie or TV show failed to properly explain things. It was worse now that it was being done to him in real life.
Maybe it was just because he and his friends were getting over the shock of being transported somewhere else.
The man made another sweeping gesture of his arm.
"Go forth and meet them while there is peace." He held up his finger again. "Keep that in mind. Peace."
He was gone.
"Thanks," Leonard said, still too dazed for much else.
As he gingerly stepped forward with his three friends, Leonard realized he was in a junkyard. Looked like a Terminator graveyard. And those people in the background? They did look familiar.
"Whoa," Leonard said as he suddenly stopped.
That's when the people started shooting weapons at each other.
Phasers and blasters, Leonard realized as he stood near both groups.
"What's going on here?" Leonard shouted over the fire. His face wrinkled up in confusion under his Clark Kent glasses.
Spock turned and looked at him. More accurately the tall Vulcan briefly looked down on him.
"A powerful lifeform has gathered us here for a contest. A battle of wills, shall we say."
"More than that," Han Solo said behind him.
Leonard drew his head back. Powerful lifeform? Was that the guy they met earlier?
Here was an odd thing: Spock had a glowing blue lightsaber in one hand. Here was something else odd: Han Solo was behind Spock with a blaster while Luke Skywalker was in front of the Vulcan. The black-garbed Jedi Knight had his own lightsaber out.
And there were Klingons and stormtrooper all over the place. The place looking an awful lot like a robot junkyard.
A lot of this is odd, Leonard realized.
The situation was a lot different from life at the apartment at 2311 North Los Robles in Pasadena, the place where Leonard and his three friends had been only minutes before. One moment they were playing an online "Star Wars" video game, the next they were in this strange place with the dark-haired guy trying to calm them down.
"I don't believe this," an awestruck Raj Koothrappali said. They were his first words since they arrived.
"Believe it, Raj," Han said.
Raj made a face. "How'd you know my name?"
After firing a phaser, Dr. Leonard H. McCoy chuckled. "Our powerful alien friend tells us about any new guests. Welcome to the battle."
"Not a battle, McCoy. Let's call it what it is," Han shouted.
"This is war!" Princess Leia shouted. She paused to fire a large black rifle.
Howard Wolowitz leaned in toward Raj. "She's cute even when she's shooting that weapon. But she's a lot less hot with the bun hairdo."
"Dude!" Raj exclaimed in an almost shrill voice. "This is Princess Leia we're talking about here. This is awesome!"
"Wish I could say the same," Leia grumbled. As she fired her weapon again, a Klingon fell on his side.
"Leia's right. It's not that awesome, gentlemen." As she walked by the four guys, Uhura fired a phaser.
"Uhura!" Raj exclaimed. "Lieutenant Uhura and Princess Leia! Both! This is like a dream. Dude, this is so, so awesome!"
"And Spock is here, too!" As the tall lanky Sheldon Cooper jumped up and down while clapping his hands, he let out his gasping laugh. In response, the Vulcan raised an eyebrow.
"Awesome!" Raj exclaimed. "Again."
Leonard stood with his face scrunched up and arms crossed. "It's awesome all right, Raj. But who's got them fighting each other?"
The four scientists huddled under the force field their mysterious host had provided for them.
"Maybe that guy we met earlier?" Howard ventured.
Luke Skywalker did a somersault in the air then landed near Leonard and his friends. "Welcome to the battle, Leonard. Raj. Howard. Sheldon." Swiftly, he turned and blocked Spock's lightsaber with his own. "I'm sorry we couldn't meet under better circumstances."
"I am in agreement, Mister Skywalker."
"Please. Call me Luke."
"As you prefer, Luke." As the two pressed their lightsabers toward each other, Spock glanced at the scientists. "From what I understand, you four gentlemen are unique."
"I'm honored, Spock." With his head bobbing slightly, Sheldon spoke in a slightly high-pitched voice and slightly daft tone. "Please don't hurt yourself. Or Luke Skywalker either."
"Thanks, Sheldon," Luke grunted.
"Oh, you're welcome, Luke."
A grunting Spock wore a face of strain. "I suspect young Skywalker is holding back."
"We should be allies," a sweating Luke grunted in response.
Howard made a face. "Who is this powerful putz who's got you fighting each other? Is he some kind of cosmic game show host?"
"I'm not familiar with that concept." Holding a phaser, Captain Kirk fired at a squad of stormtroopers. He then stopped to survey the area. Leonard joined him.
They were in a junkyard with a glowing gray sky and giant white screens with images of starships and Star Destroyers firing at each other. These images flickered on and off.
"I can tell you this, gentlemen," a sweating Kirk said. "The situation is very simple. We have to fight each other. And whoever loses the battle-"
"-your universe is destroyed," Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott said, his voice as grim as his expression.
Leonard frowned as he tilted his head back slightly. "That's a little harsh."
"Word," Raj said.
"Scotty!" Howard exclaimed with a big smile. "What a great honor. Hey, I'm an engineer, too."
Even as he nodded cordially, Scotty looked even more grim. "Wish we were meeting under better circumstances, lad."
"Captain Kirk, look out!" Luke shouted.
Kirk quickly dodged the stormtrooper, whom Han promptly blasted. Then Han returned to blasting Klingons. The bearded Klingons looked more Earther than alien.
Luke and Spock had lightsabers locked. Spock's face had a slight blue tint from the glow of his lightsaber.
"Look," Raj said. "Luke is wearing an all-black uniform." He nodded. "That's good. Black is more slimming."
This was "Return of the Jedi" Luke, Leonard realized. Or just after "Jedi." Of course Kirk and his crew were from the original series. Before the movies and their red uniforms.
Somehow Leonard was able to observe and take in many things quickly. Being protected by a force field probably helped.
"Oh!" Sheldon brightened as he stood a little taller and straighter. Leonard observed that Sheldon held his arms the same way C-3PO would. That was a little funny because Howard once said that Sheldon looked like a combination of C-3PO and Pee Wee Herman. "See-Three-Pee-Wee-Herman," Howard called him.
"This is like 'The Gamesters of Triskelion,'" Sheldon said. "In that episode, different aliens were brought together to fight in an intergalactic gladiator arena." The tall physicist grinned and nodded.
In contrast, Sulu frowned. "How exactly would you know about that?"
"I suppose our powerful host told you what happened to Captain Kirk on that mission," Pavel Chekov said. He and Sulu were huddled behind a nearby metal barricade. "This situation is like that in some ways."
"Only the stakes are much higher," Sulu said.
"I'll say!" Raj said.
After firing his phaser, Kirk glanced at Sheldon. "Who did tell you that?"
"No one had to tell me," Sheldon said with a blank look. "I know all the episodes."
"Episodes?" Sulu said.
"He's seen the mission logs," Leonard said with a slightly sheepish laugh. "We work at Starfleet headquarters."
"No, you don't," Sulu said.
"No, we don't," Sheldon said.
"Not unless Starfleet headquarters has moved to Pasadena," Chekov said.
"Sheldon, can I talk to you for a second?" As Leonard pulled his friend aside, he had to stand on tiptoe to whisper to him. "Sheldon, I don't think we should tell them about being T-V characters in another world."
As Raj and Howard stood nearby, they both looked confused.
"Yeah, how does that work exactly?" Howard asked.
Raj shrugged. "Probably Gene Roddenberry tapped into the 'Star Trek' universe somehow. And George Lucas tapped into the 'Star Wars' galaxy. Lucky ducks."
"Whatever happened, we're getting quite a show now." As Howard looked up at the giant screens, the others looked with him. "Two universes at war. That's why we're seeing-"
"-Federation starships firing phasers at Imperial Star Destroyers," Leonard said.
"Whoa," Raj said.
Jumping up and down, Sheldon clapped. "Oh! This is even better than Marvel superheroes fighting D-C Comics superheroes.."
"Way better, dude."
"You guys," Leonard said.
Along with Raj, Sheldon bowed his head. "You're right, Leonard. It's cool except for the part about universes being destroyed."
"That part's not cool," Raj said.
"Oh, please don't let it be the 'Star Trek' universe," Sheldon pleaded. "I don't want you to die, Spock! No offense to you characters from 'Star Wars.' I like you, too. Except Jar Jar Binks."
"What's a Jar Jar Binks?" Luke asked.
"You don't want to know, Luke."
While Luke and other characters from "Star Wars" simply looked puzzled, Spock appeared to be deep in thought. At least as much as a Vulcan could during a lightsaber battle.
"It is unfortunate we are consumed by this conflict," Spock said.
"You guys should all be friends," Leonard said. Chewbacca roared his agreement.
"Yes, let's all be friends," Sheldon said.
"As my mentor Obi-Wan once said, 'There are alternatives to fighting,'" Luke said.
Now Leonard brightened. "Like that time on the 'Enterprise' those alien beings had humans and Klingons fighting each other with swords."
"Oh, yes!" Sheldon exclaimed. "Because the alien beings fed off violence and conflict. So anyone who died was brought back to life to keep fighting. Hope that happens here. Being brought back to life, I mean. Not the fighting. I want that to end."
"I'd like that, too," McCoy said.
Leonard smiled. "In the other situation, once you stopped fighting, the alien beings grew weaker and they went away."
Lifting an eyebrow, Spock nodded. "Therein may lie our solution."
"Stress 'might,'" Han grumbled.
"Unfortunately, not really an option, gentlemen," Kirk said. "Our alien host keeps throwing enemy forces at us."
"Stormtroopers and these Klingons!" Han shouted.
"If we lose, everyone dies. This is even worse than the Empire!"
Raj held his ears as Leia once again fired her rifle.
Luke continued his lightsaber battle. "But the alien being seems only able to throw enemy forces at us on this world."
"Than what we need is to get off this world." Leonard glimpsed the "Millennium Falcon" to his right, even as blaster shots and phaser fire whizzed past him.
"If only the Guardians of the Galaxy were here to help."
"They'd probably just get caught in the battle, Raj." As Leonard tried to think, he saw that Spock and Luke continued their lightsaber battle, though the "battle" looked half-hearted and listless.
"So far we've managed to avoid killing each other," Han roared.
Leonard made a face. "Spock, you know how to use a lightsaber?"
"Of course he does," Sheldon said. "Spock excels in whatever he does. Just like I do." He gave Spock a bobbing-head grin.
Luke softly grunted as his lightsaber went down and locked with that of his Vulcan opponent. "Mister Spock seems to have a natural ability with the Force."
"Probably all Vulcans do," Captain Kirk said then fired his phaser at a squad of stormtroopers.
Spock nodded. "I did once sense the deaths of multiple Vulcans aboard a science vessel."
"Just like Obi-Wan sensed the deaths of all those on Alderaan," Luke said. "Again, I'm sorry we couldn't be friends, Mister Spock."
"I am in agreement, Mister Skywalker."
"Maybe you still can be. In another reality," Leonard said.
"No!" Sheldon said, stomping his foot. "I want everyone to be friends right now!"
That's when the gray sky flashed and sparkled and a great booming voice spoke.
"Hello, gentlemen. And ladies." The voice was somehow raspy and high-pitched. "Originally, this was to be a battle between two universes. Now it shall be a contest of thr-r-r-ree!"
Loud booming laughter followed along with lightning. Everyone held their ears.
A giant hand appeared with a pointed finger aimed at Leonard and his friends.
"You four from the place called 'Pasadena.' You shall be the champions for your universe."
"Oh!" Leonard groaned.
"Us?" Sheldon yelped.
"We've only ever won a Physics Bowl," Howard muttered.
"Fight for your universe," the booming voice said. "Lose, and your universe dies."
"Kind of harsh, dude!" Raj shouted up.
"That is all," the voice said. And the rumbling in the sky stopped.
Raj looked around at all those gathered. "Do we even know who this evil alien being is?"
"An old friend," McCoy said drily.
"Whoa! Can't believe I'm here with Doctor McCoy!" Raj exclaimed with a big smile. "Can I call you 'Bones?'"
"Sorry, Raj. Only Jim does that." The doctor wore a bemused smile for a moment then continued on. "Anyway, our big bad enemy is none other than Trelane."
Laughing slightly, Howard made a confused-concerned face. "Trelane? You mean the funny guy with his own castle?"
"The one who pulled the 'Enterprise' back as you all tried to get away?" Raj asked.
"That's the one," McCoy said.
"This doesn't seem like him," Leonard said.
"He was more of a prankster," Sheldon said. "Kind of like me. Always playing classic pranks. He was the kind of person who would use his powers on you and then say 'Bazinga.'"
Spock frowned. "What is 'bazinga?'"
"Is it a planet?" Luke asked.
"Tell you later," Howard said. "Assuming we survive all this."
"Let's try to be positive, Howard," Leonard said. "But Sheldon's got a point. You, too, Raj. Trelane doesn't act like this. He doesn't go around destroying entire universes."
"Who does?" Howard asked drily.
"And we're kind of experts on 'Star Trek.' Er, I mean, you guys," Raj said as he gestured to the "Enterprise" crew members.
With a lull in the battle, McCoy raised both eyebrows and crossed his arms. "Oh, are you now? Experts, are you? Is that so?"
"Yeah," Raj said.
Leonard jumped in. "What Raj means is we've viewed a lot of your mission logs."
"Regardless of his claimed expertise, Mister Koothrappali is correct," Spock said, still swinging his lightsaber. "These actions are uncharacteristic of Mister Trelane."
"You'd know him better than I do, Spock." Han fired his blaster.
"Well, obviously something's happened to our dear friend Trelane," McCoy said. "By the way, we've already been told we're T-V and movie characters in your universe."
"We haven't really had time to think about it," Han shouted. Here, he stopped to slug a Klingon. The bearded fellow was out instantly.
"I bet somewhere I'm a clown made out of candy watching 'Star Trek' and 'Star Wars,'" Sheldon said wistfully. "But no matter how many universes I'm in in none of them do I dance."
"Good to know," Leia said with a slight eye roll.
"So Trelane has become evil," Raj mused. "It's kind of like that imaginary story in a Superman comic book where Mister Mix-iz-pittle-ick becomes evil and turns Bizarro into a murderer. Before that, Bizarro was basically harmless."
"Let's stay focused here, guys," Leonard said.
"But what are we supposed to do?" Howard asked. "Everyone in our universe is depending on us."
"Including Penny," Leonard said wistfully.
"Not to mention William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, George Lucas and Stephen Hawking." Sheldon rattled off the names breathlessly.
With a glum look, Raj nodded. "As Zack would say, 'Sounds like a lot of responsibility.'"
"We have to do whatever we can, guys." Leonard sounded very confident for someone who had been torn down by his mother, a noted psychologist who then detailed all of Leonard's childhood traumas in a book called "Needy Baby, Greedy Baby."
"I still don't get it," Raj said. "Why would an imp like Trelane turn into someone like Galactus? Actually, worse than Galactus since Galactus only eats planets."
"Yeah, this new improved Trelane wants to destroy entire universes," Howard said.
"Maybe he's just kidding," Sheldon said. "Maybe he'll destroy a universe, bring it back and then say 'Bazinga.'"
"Let's hope," Leonard said.
"I think we should not rely on hope," Spock said.
Han shouted over blaster fire as he ducked behind some scrap metal. "Like I said, we haven't had time to debate it!"
Raj wore his Very Serious look, the kind he usually wore when he expounded on comic book topics. "Like I said before, maybe it's like that Superman comic book where Mister Mix-iz-pittle-ick turns into a killer and he turns Bizarro into a killer, too. Sorry if I repeat myself, I'm a little stressed. But that's just what I think."
"As good an explanation as any, I suppose," Kirk said.
"Not logical, captain."
"Have you a better idea, Spock?"
"Under the circumstances, doctor, I cannot offer an alternate theory."
"This is so cool hearing you talk this way!" Raj enthused. When he saw Kirk and Han circling each other in a fight dance, his smile drooped. "Okay, that part's not so cool."
"Oh, look!" Sheldon said. "It's just like 'Amok Time.'"
"Amok what?" McCoy said.
"Kirk and Spock fighting on Vulcan."
"Why didn't you just say so?"
"Sorry. Good work faking Captain Kirk's death, by the way."
"Thank you, Sheldon." Warily, McCoy glanced back and forth as he held his phaser up. "Let's hope any deaths here are just as fake."
Howard picked up a metal robot head. "I'm getting an idea of something I could make with this."
"So am I," Leonard said.
"Yeah," from Raj.
"Me, too," Sheldon said. Each of them picked up some metal.
Leonard made a face. "But if we make this, can we take it with us?"
"We have learned from experience that you can," Spock said. Once again, he and Luke circled each other with lightsabers buzzing and glowing.
"Whatever you hold on to goes with you," McCoy said.
"Wherever Trelane sends us," Luke said.
Again, Leonard made a face. "Where has he been sending you guys?"
"Death Star. The bridge of the 'Enterprise,'" Han said.
"Or the two combined," Leia said.
"That was fun," Han said. Behind him, Chewie roared loudly.
More of the Very Serious Look as Raj nodded. "Sounds like when Captain Picard and his crew met the X-Men. They visited timelines where their two worlds combined."
"That's interesting, Raj, but let's focus here." Leonard held a fist to his chin. "How can we get the characters we love to work with each other instead of fighting each other?"
"Oh! I'm all for that, buddy," Sheldon said.
"As am I," Spock said.
"Oh, goody! Spock agrees with me!"
McCoy grinned. "I'm glad you're happy, Sheldon."
"That's Doctor Cooper," Sheldon corrected.
McCoy bowed slightly. "I beg your pardon, good doctor. But how do we do what your friend Leonard is suggesting?"
"A good question, Bones," Kirk said, still circling Han.
"And how do we take down this Trelane guy?" Han shouted.
"We'll find a way." Even as he spoke, Leonard absent-mindedly picked up some metal parts and joined them together. Raj and Sheldon began attaching robot limbs to a metal torso. As he worked, Sheldon constantly bobbed his head as he grinned in the direction of Spock.
Howard already had the semblance of a remote control.
"Cool, Howard," Leonard said with a big smile. He didn't miss a beat in assembling a metal frame.
Luke flipped through the air, landing behind Spock. The Vulcan had already turned, and they continued their crashing-buzzing battle.
Howard was done with his remote control. "Whoa, that was fast. How did I do that? Well, I am a good engineer."
"Oh, that's like being a good biologist. Or a good toll booth attendant." Oblivious to Howard's frown, Sheldon continued bobbing and grinning even as he was building.
Moments later, Raj said, "We're done."
"It's a Terminator," Leonard said with a mixture of awe and puzzlement.
"You're kidding," Howard said. "Somehow we were able to build a fictional robot from a movie?"
"Apparently," Leonard said, laughing a little.
"We did!" Sheldon exclaimed.
"And Sheldon never builds anything," Howard murmured. "Well, hardly ever."
Having just fired his phaser at a lone stormtrooper, McCoy stopped to stare at the gleaming silver creation. "Whatever you're going to do with it, boys, do it fast. Before Trelane sends us somewhere else."
"I don't want to go back to Hoth." Scotty visibly shivered.
"I'm with you, Scotty. Hope I never end up in a prison on an ice planet." McCoy crossed his arms. "You know something? No matter where Trelane sends us, we always end up back here."
"Maybe this is where his main energy source is," Sheldon said.
"Energy source, sir?" C-3PO was huddled behind a giant metal barrier with a chirping squawking R2-D2.
Sheldon brightened. "Threepio! Hello! Good to see you!"
"Hello, sir. May I say it's good to see a friendly if unfamiliar face."
"What's this about an energy source?" Luke asked.
"I believe I know," Spock said. "Doctor Cooper, as you are unoccupied at the moment, I shall let you explain. For the moment, I am otherwise engaged." Another lightsaber crash. The Vulcan gritted his teeth.
A slight nod of the head indicated Professor Cooper was ready to lecture. "In the episode 'The Squire of Gothos'-"
"Where do they get these titles?" McCoy shook his head then fired at more stormtroopers.
"-Trelane had an energy source hidden behind a mirror, which Captain Kirk opened fire on. Good work, Captain Kirk!"
"Thank you," Kirk said. He and Han still circled each other.
"It was cool!" Raj exclaimed with more of his big broad smile. He even gave two thumbs up.
McCoy grinned. "Glad you liked it, Raj. Or is it 'Doctor Koothrappali?'"
"You can call me Raj!"
"Raj it is."
"Cool!"
Chirping and beeping by R2-D2 followed.
"He sounds excited," Howard said. "What's up, little guy?"
Threepio turned to address Sheldon.
"Artoo's sensors have detected a powerful energy source." Stiffly, he gestured to the gray horizon. "In that direction, sir."
"Thank you, Threepio," Sheldon said. "But you don't have to call me 'sir.' You can call me 'Master Sheldon.'"
Threepio offered a slight bow. "Very well, Master Sheldon."
"Oh! Did you hear that? Threepio called me 'Master Sheldon!" Once again, Sheldon jumped up and down and clapped while emitting his gasping laugh.
As he and Spock locked lightsabers once again, Luke shouted instructions. "Threepio, go mark the site of that energy source."
"Right away, Master Luke." The golden droid engaged in his funny walk of quick small steps, Artoo rolling along beside him.
"Now we just need a way of blowing up this energy source," Captain Kirk said.
Han continued circling. "The 'Falcon's' right over there-"
"Cool!" the guys gushed.
"-but its weapons probably aren't powerful enough to take out that energy source. Not like what you've got, Kirk."
"Oh!" the guys groaned.
"Will this do?" Howard gestured to the Terminator armed with a big gun.
"I think that'll work," McCoy said. "How'd you guys do that?"
"I'm not sure," Raj said. "Maybe this junkyard has some kind of strange power."
"It's not the junkyard, gentlemen," a voice said. "It's me."
They all looked, and floating above them was the smiling dark-haired man dressed like George Washington.
"Trelane," Kirk said.
The smile got bigger. "Not exactly. I'm his brother Tremaine." He bowed.
"Oh, is that so?" McCoy asked in his usual droll voice. "And you just watched Trelane grow up and turn into some kind of monster?"
Leonard crossed his arms. "The kind who makes people fight each other and destroy entire universes?"
"All very illogical indeed."
"Thanks for backing me up, Spock."
The Vulcan frowned. "I see no reason for thanks, Doctor Hofstadter."
"Thanks anyway."
Raj had hands on his hips and a cross expression as he looked up at the floating figure. "What kind of brother are you anyway?"
"Easy, my friends." At first, Tremaine held out open palms, almost like a mime pressing against an invisible wall. Then with one hand behind his back, he held up a triumphant finger, as if posing for a statue. His slightly high-pitched voice was like that of his brother only more giddy. "My brother was taken over by an evil being. He used to be a bit more bearable."
Since the brother had the shaggy sideburns of Trelane, he bore some resemblance to Wolverine, Leonard decided.
Tremaine sighed. "It's too bad really. Of all my siblings, I hated him the least. If I may quote something Nebula once said to Gamora."
Here, Raj wore an astonished smile. "You know Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy?"
"I know everyone," Tremaine said with a shrug and an impish grin.
"I wish I knew Gamora," Raj sighed with usual longing lonely look.
As he crossed his arms over his gray hooded jacket, Leonard looked deep in thought. "So it's like what Raj said earlier. This is like when Mister Mix-iz...whatever..."
The finger went up again. "Mixy to his friends."
"When 'Mixy' became an evil killer and turned Bizarro into an evil killer."
"Yes, that's good," Tremaine said.
Raj made a face. "It's good those two became killers?"
Finger up more. "Not what I meant. I mean it's good you gentlemen draw on your natural abilities. Comic books, movies, T-V shows. Even your technical expertise, such as it is."
Raj frowned. "Who are you now? Q?"
"He's a distant relative. I'm here to help amplify your natural abilities so you can resolve this situation."
Now Leonard made a face as he drew his head back slightly. "But why can't you just use your powers to fix all this?"
Tremaine waved the finger. "Rules, my boy. Rules. Mommy and Daddy make them, and no one can break them. Not even the Big Evil Kahuna inside my brother."
Howard gave him a look. "'Big Evil Kahuna?' Is that what we're calling the evil being?" he asked drily.
"Brother," McCoy groaned.
Again, Tremaine shrugged . "As good a name as any. His real name would be unpronounceable for you. Anyway, as I enhance your natural abilities, you can drive out this evil being."
"Thanks," Raj said. With a puzzled look, he held up a black box with a clear crystal at the center. "By the way, what is this thing I've just been building?"
As Tremaine smiled, one molar sparkled. "When the time is right, Raj, its purpose will be revealed." He looked off. "I see Artoo and Threepion have marked the spot. They're on their way back. Sheldon, take this device Howard just built and leave it there. I'm giving you the powers of the Flash."
"Yay!"
Finger darted up. "Temporarily."
"Oh." After a moment of drooping, Sheldon was gone. And then he was back with Threepio and Artoo beside him.
"That was fun!" he exclaimed.
Leonard was glad his friend wasn't stressing out and going into a panic during all this.
"Raj, Howard, Sheldon, Leonard." Tremaine nodded to each of them. "Carry out a plan for peace. You'll be vital to that."
In a golden flash, he was gone.
"Thanks for being so vague," Howard said.
"No kidding," Raj said.
"Really," from Leonard.
"I had fun!"
Han had his hand on his holstered blaster. "I don't know about you, Kirk, but I'm pretty sick of these powerful beings popping in and out."
Kirk responded with a wry grin. "Actually, Mister Solo, I grew tired of them some time ago."
"Let's do this," Leonard said.
The Terminator fired its giant weapon, and KABLAM!
Even as the dust was settling, Trelane floated above the group. Clad in a blue coat and white powdered wig, he spoke in the voice of Linda Blair from "The Exorcist." And that raspy voice echoed loudly.
"Nice move, insects. But our little game isn't over yet."
As Trelane faded away, the group fell silent.
Not for long.
"Everyone to the 'Falcon,'" Han ordered, waving his hand.
"Including your robot thing, I'm guessing," McCoy chuckled.
"Uh-uh-uh!"
Trelane was back, first waving his finger then pointing. The guys' robot promptly crumpled and turned to slag.
"Last of my power from the first power source you just blew up," he said in his eerie warbly voice. "In a few minutes, my second power source will be up and running." Here, a big toothy smile. "There. You see, Captain Kirk? I did learn from our last encounter." He pointed a pinky at Kirk.
"Great," McCoy muttered.
"I second that," Kirk said.
With a hideous grin, Trelane pointed his pinky at Han. "Once I have more power, I'll be pulling your ship back from space, Captain Solo."
"Not if I outrun you!" Han shouted.
"This just gets better and better," Howard muttered.
"Let's move!" Han shouted, waving everyone to the ramp of his ship.
As the ramp closed, C-3PO and Howard were the last ones in, both shouting, "Wait for me!"
Behind them, Trelane laughed long and loud.
Once safely on board, Howard looked forlorn. "Too bad we couldn't have brought the robot."
"It's all right, Howard," Luke said.
"I don't think there'd be room anyway." McCoy was squeezed in the booth between Leia and Spock.
Spock crossed his arms. "For what we will be doing now, Mister Wolowitz, our new purpose, it will not be needed."
The strong vibrations and the roaring noise suggested the ship was taking off. Once the vibrations became less intense, Howard addressed the unusual group.
"Actually, our robot was more like a cross between a Terminator and Robbie the Robot," he said with a nervous chuckle. "A Terminator kills people. We wanted something a little more friendly."
Howard thought how he'd like to enjoy the coolness of all this: being aboard the "Millennium Falcon," being with the characters from "Star Trek" and "Star Wars."
He could have enjoyed it a lot more if it wasn't for all the danger they were in. But he seemed to be handling it well. Probably because he worked on stuff he liked doing.
"Anyway, that was my robot," Howard said sadly.
"A robot that wasn't violent," Raj said. "At least not toward people. Only energy sources."
Spock nodded to each of them. "That was most logical, Mister Wolowitz. Mister Koothrappali. Such an invention was more suitable for the purposes of peace."
Raj brightened. "Thanks, Spock!" He turned to Howard. "Did you hear that? Spock said I was logical. Me!"
"That's cool, buddy. And he liked my invention." They high-fived each other.
"We rock, dude!" A smiling Raj gave two thumbs up, much the way he had after a hug from Penny when he won that "People" award.
They stood near Uhura, Scotty, Spock and Sulu. They watched in awe, and with big grins, as Threepio played the hologram-creature game with Chekov.
"That's very Ray Harryhausen," Howard commented. "If Sheldon was here, he'd tell us all about Ray Harryhausen."
As he moved back and forth on his wheel, R2-D2 chirped and whistled. Smiling broadly, Raj placed a hand on top of his dome.
"Hey, Artoo. How you doin', buddy?"
Leia swung a lightsaber while a floating remote randomly fired at her.
"Practicing your ability to use the Force, eh?" Howard said.
As Leia simply nodded, Howard thought how Leonard was in the cockpit. So was Sheldon.
Lucky ducks.
In the cockpit of the "Falcon," Leonard thought how cool it was. Here he was with Luke Skywalker and Captain Kirk. Not to mention Han Solo and Chewbacca.
Leonard saw that Sheldon looked really happy about it, too. He was still grinning with his head bobbing up and down.
Out the window, Leonard could see the "Enterprise." Next to him, Sheldon breathed a quiet "oh."
Leaning slightly, Sheldon whispered to Leonard.
"Once we get on the bridge, I don't think I'll ever leave."
"Let's hope we get on the bridge," Leonard said.
"Kirk," Han said. "Will the 'Falcon' fit in the docking bay of your ship?"
"It should. Trelane's brother said earlier he expanded it for just that purpose." Kirk flipped open his communicator. "Kirk to 'Enterprise.'"
A beep. "'Enterprise' here, sir."
Leonard didn't recognize the voice. Probably one of those anonymous crew members in a red shirt who beams down and dies.
"Prepare for docking procedure," Kirk said with his signature staccato inflections.
"Oh!" Sheldon exclaimed. "I want to talk to the 'Enterprise!'" Leaning forward eagerly, he grabbed the communicator from Kirk.
"Watch it, stringbean," Han grunted but Sheldon was already talking cheerfully.
"Hello, 'Enterprise!' This is Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper! You do what Captain Kirk says and get the bridge ready for our arrival!" He let out his gasping laugh. "That was fun," he said as he handed the communicator back to a scowling Kirk.
As they docked, Leonard thought how cool it all was. Not only to be inside the "Millennium Falcon" and see the "Enterprise" but to actually be hanging around with Captain Kirk and Han Solo.
Leonard was still feeling thrilled when he stood on the bridge of the "Enterprise." Next to him, a wide-eyed grinning Sheldon quietly breathed a single word: "Oh."
"Maximum warp, Mister Sulu."
"Aye, captain."
"That's right, Sulu! Maximum warp!"
"I don't need an echo, Mister Cooper," an exasperated Kirk said.
"That's Doctor Cooper." For a moment, Sheldon looked deadly serious then he broke out in a grin. "Oh, I'm just joshin', Captain Kirk. Bazinga!"
"'Bazinga?'" Chekov said to Sulu.
Sheldon waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "This is so much fun I don't care what anyone calls me. Han, you just keep calling me 'stringbean.'"
"No problem," Han said.
Luke placed a light hand on the physicist's back. "That's exactly the kind of attitude we need, Sheldon."
"Oh, good! Because this is so much fun! You go, Luke Skywalker! You go, 'Enterprise' crew members. You go, everybody!"
"Sheldon," Leonard said with a hint of awe and confusion. "Are you actually being flexible?"
"Don't get used to it," Sheldon said.
"Who are you and what have you done with the real Sheldon?" Howard asked with a grin.
"Be careful, Howard," McCoy said. "Stranger things have happened." He glanced at Kirk.
"Oh, that's right!" Sheldon exclaimed. "Once Captain Kirk switched bodies with a woman. Another time he was replaced with an android."
"We don't need a running commentary, Mister Cooper," Kirk said tersely.
"Still," McCoy said. "Stranger things have happened."
Next to the captain, Spock wore a slight frown. "I do not believe 'strange' can be measured quantitatively, doctor."
"You tell 'em, Spock!" Sheldon beamed as he raised an open palm. "One-time high-five! Not too hard."
Spock now wore a puzzled-confused frown. "I am not familiar with a 'high-five.'"
"It's your hand against mine. But not too hard."
"Like this." Leonard showed him.
Spock slowly, carefully tapped Sheldon's open palm. As Sheldon laughed, the Vulcan raised both eyebrows as he examined his cupped hand.
Clapping his hands, Sheldon turned to Leonard. "I don't think I ever want to leave!" he said in a giddy voice.
Leonard gave him a light pat on the shoulder. "Let's just concentrate on saving everyone, buddy."
"Yeah, this isn't all fun, Sheldon," Raj said. "Universes in danger, remember?"
Near the science station, Spock stood with his hands behind his back. He spoke in a solemn tone.
"We are in the process of correcting that problem, Doctor Koothrappali."
"It could be worse," Leia said.
A giant hand appeared on the screen and the ship began vibrating.
"It's worse," Han said.
As Scotty stared at the view screen, Leonard could see he was also thinking.
"I'm getting an idea of how to boost power to the ship's engines," Scotty said. "I think it's from You-Know-Who."
"I think I'm getting the same idea," Howard said.
Scotty glanced at him. "Normally I wouldn't let just anyone near the ship's engines. But..."
"Special circumstances," Kirk said. "Go, Scotty. Both of you."
Howard clapped his hands. "I get to work on the 'Enterprise's' engines. Yay!"
"May the Force be with you both," Luke said.
"May the Force be with all of us," Kirk said.
As the turbolift doors closed, McCoy stood next to the captain's chair. "Hope you don't live to regret that, Jim."
"Hope we live, Bones. Period."
"Me, too," Raj said.
"I'm with Raj on that," Han said, holding up a finger.
"Thanks, Han."
As Leonard grabbed on to the railing once again, he felt like the vibrations were getting worse.
After Leonard had his flashback of all that had happened before (hoping all the while it wasn't his life flashing before his eyes), he then tried to think of any reassuring thought he could.
Naturally he thought of Penny.
Like when he asked her out and she said "yes."
Or the time Sheldon hugged her.
Or when he learned Penny had saved items involving his thoughtfulness.
"I can't believe you saved all this stuff," he said.
"Of course I did," she said. "It's you."
There was also the time he and Penny listened as Sheldon described a dream involving a tiny talking Spock action figure.
And now here Sheldon was with the real Spock.
More recently, and before all this craziness began, Leonard had proposed to Penny and she said 'yes."
All the more reason Leonard hoped he would make it back. '
Finally, the vibrations stopped.
As they did, C-3PO nearly collided with Leonard.
"Whoa. Easy there, buddy," Leonard said.
"My apologies, Master Hofstadter."
"Call me Leonard."
"Very well, Master Leonard."
"Just Leonard."
"It won't work, Leonard," Luke said. "In all his years with me, he still calls me 'Master Luke.'"
The golden droid straightened. "Thank goodness we're still in one piece."
"This is great!" Sheldon exclaimed.
"I heartily agree, Master Sheldon."
There followed several minutes of everyone murmuring relief and appreciation.
At one point, Leonard put his hand on top of R2-D2's dome.
"Hey, Artoo. How you doing, buddy? You still glad to be in one piece?"
"Oh, for crying out loud, Leonard. He's a droid, not a cat."
"Thank you, Sheldon."
The turbolift doors opened and a grinning Scotty and Howard emerged. Howard took a bow as Raj used a music device on his chest to play "We Are The Champions."
When the music finished, most applauded.
All but Spock. With his usual stoic look, he turned toward the command chair and his friend.
"It seems our escape has been successful, captain. Thanks to Mister Scott and Mister Wolowitz."
As the Vulcan nodded to the two, Howard took another bow.
"Quite so, Spock," Kirk said as he put a hand to his chin. "Now the question is: how exactly do we wage peace?"
"A fair question. One I shall have to take a few minutes to contemplate."
As Spock fell silent at his science station, Howard leaned in toward Leia.
"Can I get a medal later? Just like Han and Luke got?"
Kirk turned in his chair. "I'd like a medal as well, princess," he said with a grin.
As Han put one arm around Leia, he waved his other hand. "Easy there, Kirk. I've heard all about you."
"He is a bit of a horndog," Raj said.
"Let's wait and see what Spock has to say," Leia said.
A few minutes of silence followed. Finally, Spock stood in front of the view screen. His fingers were held out in front of his face in a kind of prayer gesture, as if his fingers formed a temple with a steeple.
"Oh!" Sheldon breathed. "This must be serious. Look at the way he has his hands."
"Of course it's serious," Howard whispered sharply. "Universes could be destroyed."
"You know, you don't have to keep bringing that up every ten seconds," Raj said.
"Yeah, it'd be nice if you didn't," Leonard said.
"Still," Raj said with a big smile. "Even with all that, this is still kind of cool."
"It kind of is," Leonard said with a grin.
Howard shrugged. "Okay, you're right."
For a while, Spock was silent, as was everyone else. Even the guys.
"We have ceased fighting. We have made our escape. We must now find ways to actively practice peace."
"Yes, Spock." With a blank look, Sheldon nodded his head as he continued to take in the sights of the bridge. "Oh, what's this?" He pointed to a button but Leia slapped his hand away. "Ow!"
"Don't touch anything," Leia said firmly.
"I second that," Kirk said.
Leonard had his hand up. "Mister Spock? I have a question."
"It is not necessary to raise your hand, Doctor Hofstadter. You are one of us."
"Really? Cool!" For a moment, Leonard grinned as he also briefly bounced on his toes. "Anyway, I was just wondering: If we stop fighting, won't the evil being just destroy all three universes?"
"Logically, no. If there is no conflict, there can be no victor nor any losers."
"Makes sense, I guess," Leonard said.
With a look of mild annoyance, Sheldon crossed his arms. "Well, of course it makes sense. He's Spock!"
"We appreciate the vote of confidence in our science officer, Mister Cooper," Kirk said with a grin.
"Besides, Trelane's brother said there were rules," Sheldon said.
"If you trust that putz," Howard said.
"To the matter at hand," Spock said. "The practice of peace. How do we actively pursue it?"
Trelane's brother appeared just then. Howard jumped.
"Whoa! Do you have to do that?"
Smiling, Tremaine bowed. "Greeting and felicitations, all. As you pursue peace, I am here to supply whatever you need."
"I have an idea," Raj said.
Minutes later, they all sat on the bridge playing "Warlords of Ka'a." As they did, Leonard described how Sheldon once gave Penny a hug as a Christmas present. It then turned out that the device Raj built was able to show everyone that hug and other images from the lives of the four guys.
"This is nice," Howard said. He and Raj sat next to Leia and Uhura. Han kept his hand firmly on Leia's shoulder looking suspiciously at both Kirk and Howard.
"What else can we do?" Raj mused aloud.
"Hey, I know," Leonard said. "How about if we all sing 'Soft Kitty?'"
"'Soft Kitty' is only for when I'm sick," Sheldon said solemnly. Then he looked around and grinned. "Oh, who am I kidding? This is a special occasion. We can't stand on ceremony at a time like this!"
Leonard's head tilted back. "Whoa! Sheldon, are you actually being flexible? Again?"
"Like I said before, don't get used to it."
Uhura spoke up just then. "Sir, I have a transmission from the admiral of Starfleet. Our ships are no longer firing on the Star Destroyers. All ships report they are engaged in evasive maneuvers only, sir."
"Thank you, Uhura," Kirk said. "May fortune favor the foolish."
"Makes me wish I was following the old man again," Han murmured.
Luke grinned. "Come on, Han. 'Ben' was a great man."
Han gave him a wry smile. "Yeah. Great at getting us into trouble."
"Oh, you two," Raj said.
"This is so wonderful!" Sheldon exclaimed as he jumped up and down. "Just being with all of you like this!"
"We're thrilled, too, stringbean," Han said.
With a blank look, Sheldon blinked. "Was that sarcasm?"
"No," Han said.
More blinking. "Was that sarcasm?"
"What do you think, stringbean?"
"Oh, you have cute nicknames for everyone, don't you? Like the way you call Threepio 'goldenrod.'" Sheldon emitted his gasping laugh.
Luke lightly touched Sheldon's lanky right arm. "Your enthusiasm is exactly what we need right now, Sheldon."
"Oh, goody! Luke Skywalker gave me a compliment. Did you hear that, Leonard?"
"Very cool, buddy."
Kirk spoke from his command chair. "Mister Cooper, now would be a good time to teach us 'Soft Kitty.'"
Once Sheldon taught them (while being less pedantic than usual), they all sang. In the history of those three universes, there was never anything quite like it: members of the Rebel Alliance and Starfleet singing "Soft Kitty" with four scientists from Pasadena.
Afterwards, the guys told stories about how Penny gave Sheldon acting lessons, Amy got excited about a tiara, and Penny once made fun of Leonard by using a dopey voice.
Whenever someone told a story, Raj's device displayed the events as a hologram with sound.
There was also the time Leonard played bongos to interrupt Sheldon's sleep, This was called for since earlier Sheldon's bongo-playing roused Leonard from his slumber.
Luke shared stories of events not seen in the movies, such as what it was like to visit Toshi Station to get power converters and then goof off with his friends.
Captain Kirk and his crew shared stories of what they did while off duty.
"That sounds fun," Sheldon said.
It was then that Raj's device presented a hologram of the guys (with Penny and Amy) singing a song to Bernadette. Once they learned the words, everyone on the bridge sang along.
That was when someone appeared in their midst. Under the center of the view screen, to be exact. A dark-haired man with some resemblance to the flamboyant singer Liberace, he was dressed like George Washington in a long blue coat with gold stripes on the collar and sleeves. He had pearly whites which he showed in a sparkling smile.
Despite this (or maybe because of it), anyone who had a weapon drew it and pointed.
"Cool!" Raj said. "Look at all the blasters and phasers."
"And lightsabers," Leonard said.
"This is so great!" Sheldon exclaimed.
"Not so great if we get blasted," Howard muttered.
The smiling Trelane held up open palms.
"Greetings and felicitations."
No change in weapon posture.
"It's all right, my friends," Trelane said calmly. "Once the conflict ended, that evil being got bored and left me." He beamed. Literally. Some had to shield their eyes. "Your efforts at peace worked. I'm free!" Holding out his hands, the powerful man-child offered a clicking chuckle.
"Wait a minute," Howard said. "I saw the ending of 'Scary Movie Three.' Are you messing with us?"
When Trelane smiled, a front tooth sparkled. "I am not messing with you, Mister Wolowitz." Turning to the command chair, he held out a hand as he bowed. "In a way, I am most relieved, Captain Kirk. I would rather pester you on my own terms. Not because some evil being takes me along for the ride." As he waved his gold-collared hands, he giggled.
Kirk did not giggle but he did grin. "Don't take this the wrong way, Mister Trelane, but I hope we never see each other again."
"Amen to that, brother," McCoy said.
"I'm with you, McCoy," Han said. "Give me the Empire any day."
"Or the Klingons," Sulu said.
"But not both," Chekov said.
"Anything's better than some overgrown imp," Leia said.
"I vote for none of the above," Howard muttered.
"Aye, Howard," Scotty said.
Spock once again looked very serious. "Mister Solo, I suggest lowering your weapon. As should all of you. Logic dictates that even if this is deception of some sort, our weapons would nevertheless be ineffective."
"Listen to Spock! Everyone listen to Spock!" Sheldon shouted.
Reluctantly and slowly, Han holstered his weapon. "Hope for the best, huh, Spock? Not exactly my style."
"It seems it has worked in this case, Mister Solo," Kirk said.
That was when Tremaine appeared.
"This is getting a little crowded," Sheldon said. "It's like we're at a disco. Or a rave. Or a rave at a disco."
Much like Spock at times, Tremaine wore a deep-in-thought frown.
"My sense of things, Mister Spock, is that my brother is cured. Free."
As he frowned, Spock crossed his arms. "Unfortunately, Mister Tremaine, I cannot accept your 'sense' as evidence."
Gingerly, Tremaine shook his brother's hand. "Good to have you back, brother. If you are back. Are you back?"
"I am! Fear not, gentlemen. And fair ladies." Here, Trelane offered a sweep of his arm as he bowed deeply. "From now on I'll be doing things like playing 'Warlords of Ka.'"
"'Ka-ah,'" Howard corrected.
"I'll join you!" Tremaine enthused.
"Count me in!" Sheldon exclaimed.
Trelane held up his index finger. "And I'll create videogames I live inside of."
"Cool!" Raj said.
Now Trelane held a hand to his heart. "I'll also sing gentle melodies to sweet Bernadette."
"Whoa! Easy there, big fella," Howard said with a nervous little laugh.
A grinning Trelane clutched his lapels. "Fear not, Mister Wolowitz. I shall only sing to a hologram of Bernadette. I shall not actually call upon her."
"Okay then. Good," Howard said. "Whew. For a second there, I was afraid I'd have to hurt you."
Turning in his chair, Kirk smiled as he addressed Trelane. "Glad to hear all this. Less time to bother my crew."
"Feel free to drop in on Pasadena," Sheldon offered as he raised his hand.
"Yeah," Raj said. "Especially if you create videogames we can live in."
"As long as, you know, you don't destroy any universes," Howard said meekly.
"Or have people fight each other," Leonard said.
"I don't think we need to worry, Mister Hofstadter," Kirk said. "All's well that ends well, it seems."
"I am also glad to hear of this development," Spock said.
"Glad?" As McCoy crossed his arms, he smirked. "Isn't that an emotion, Spock?"
"It is merely an expression, doctor."
As Spock and McCoy argued, Luke shook hands with Leonard. "Thanks for all your help, Leonard."
"Hey! What about me?"
"Sorry, Raj. Thanks to all of you."
"That's better!"
"Thank you, Luke!" Leonard vigorously shook Luke's hand. "It was great to be able to help!"
"This was like the best movie ever!" Raj exclaimed with a big smile.
"And we got to be in it, not just watch it," a grinning Howard said.
"Boy, did we ever!" Sheldon exclaimed. "We made a difference in what happened." Then he drooped slightly. "Unlike Indiana Jones in 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.'"
Together as one, the guys all groaned and drooped. Briefly, they looked dejected. Then it was back to joy and happiness.
Raj's device began playing music from "2001: A Space Odyseey," and the guys all lifted their arms in a joyous nerdy dance. Made all the more joyous by the fact they did it on the bridge of the "Enterprise."
At first, the others simply stared then they couldn't help but smile. Some even joined in the dance. Uhura did a kind of waltz with R2-D2.
"It's just like dancing around a campfire with some Ewoks," Howard said.
"What are Ewoks?" Chekov asked.
"Furry little guys you'll never have to meet," Raj said.
"It's back to tribbles and Klingons for you, Chekov," Howard said.
At the center of the dancing, Sheldon beamed.
"Leonard, I don't think this day could get any better."
"I have good news," Trelane's brother announced.
"Oh! It just got better!" More clapping and jumping from Sheldon.
"Normally, after an experience like this, I just send people home with no memory."
Drooping slightly, the guys all groaned.
"And for the people from Starfleet and all the Rebels, that's exactly what I'm going to do." Tremaine pointed. "But for you four guys I'm going to let you remember."
"Oh, goody!"
"You'll simply remember all this as a very vivid daydream."
"I won't tell Penny about it. She wouldn't even understand."
Tremaine held up a finger. "There's another way you can help."
"More?" Sheldon gasped.
"One of the reasons my brother was taken over by an evil being was because he doesn't know how to have fun without bothering people."
"Brother, do we know that from experience," McCoy muttered.
"Now we all do, McCoy." Han had his blaster holstered but his hand above it.
Tremaine went on. "My brother could learn a lot from the four of you." He gestured to the four of them, all smiles as they stood in front of the turbolift. "He could monitor you on your world. Watch you as you play paintball and get videogame injuries and go to Renaissance Fairs."
"He probably wouldn't want to hear Leonard talk about football with Penny's friends," Howard muttered.
"No, probably not," Leonard said.
"No one would," Raj said.
"Be that as it may," Tremaine said. "My brother could learn from you not to be a nuisance."
"Well, from some of us," Howard mumbled. He leaned in to whisper to Leonard and Raj. "Can you imagine Trelane becoming like Sheldon?"
"Scary," Leonard said.
"Howard, don't even say that," Raj said. "What if it came true? Like in 'Ghostbusters' when Dan Akroyd's character thought about Sta-Puft the Marshmallow Man and he became real?"
"Gentlemen? Focus, please," Tremaine said. "Ah, much better. Now here's what I'll do. I'll set up a way for Trelane to observe the four of you on Earth. Your example should help prevent another crisis like this." When he grinned, multiple dimples spread across his cheeks. "As you go about your everyday lives, you'll be saving entire universes!"
"Cool!" Raj said.
"Yeah!" Leonard and Howard chimed in together.
"Goody, goody, goody!" Once again, Sheldon was jumping up and down and gasping-laughing.
After that was a time of shaking hands and lots of excited conversation. Raj even got a kiss on the cheek from Uhura. But Han looked annoyed when Raj asked for an autograph.
"Raj, you cannot take home an autographed blaster," Leonard pointed out.
"Yeah, Raj, I need my blaster," Han said.
"The man needs his blaster," Sulu said.
"Boy, have we seen that," McCoy said.
"How about a lightsaber then?" Raj asked eagerly.
Luke offered an apologetic grin. "Sorry, Raj. Even with the second Death Star gone, I need my lightsaber."
"Yeah, okay," Raj said with a glum look.
"Oh, I don't want this to ever end!" At the science station, a giddy Sheldon faced his favorite Vulcan. "Spock, say it with me again!"
Spock wore a slight frown. "Sheldon, I see no logic in your request."
McCoy wore a slight smirk. "Of course you don't, Spock. It's about joy and having fun."
"It will help save universes, Mister Spock," Luke said with a grin of his own.
As both eyebrows went up, Spock nodded. "There is logic in that." With his usual solemn serious look, he performed the Vulcan hand salute. "Sheldon, the needs of the many-"
"Outweigh the needs of the few! Or the one!" Sheldon blurted out. Clapping his hands, he emitted his gasping laugh.
"Time to go," Tremaine said.
"Oh, just five more minutes," Sheldon pleaded.
Tremaine shook his head. "That's what you said five minutes ago, Sheldon."
Again, Spock performed the Vulcan hand salute. "Live long and prosper, Sheldon. Howard. Leonard. Raj. Mister Skywalker. Mister Solo. Princess Leia." A high-pitched plaintive growl followed. "And you as well, Mister Chewbacca."
"May the Force be with you all." Luke smiled as he attempted the Vulcan hand salute.
"Luke Skywalker said 'May the Force be with you!' To me!"
Sheldon was still talking excitedly about it when the group was swallowed up in a great golden light.
The guys were back home playing their online "Star Wars" videogame. For a while, they played in silence. (Unusual for them.) Then they all stopped.
"Do you get the feeling suddenly that this just isn't enough?" Raj asked.
"Yeah," Leonard and Howard said.
"I do," Sheldon said quietly.
For a while they just sat there staring. Then, sporting a bemused smile, Raj held out his hands.
"What are we going to do? Save the 'Star Wars' characters for real?"
Wearing that comical look he always got just before making a joke, Howard sat up straight. "While we're at it, why don't we just save the 'Star Trek' characters, too?"
Leonard adopted a mock-serious look. "Original series only, of course."
"Oh, of course!" Sheldon said.
They all laughed then returned to playing their game.
But as they went through their lives filled with work and fun, deep down inside each of them had a feeling that he was more significant than he knew.
One day, Sheldon and Leonard returned home and found two unexpected guests on their couch.
Captain Kirk and Spock.
Immediately, Leonard remembered what happened. Not as a daydream but as a real thing.
He laughed. "Hey! What are you guys doing here?"
"Trelane sent us," Kirk said, clearly unhappy.
"Oh!" Sheldon said. "Wait until we walk into the Cheesecake Factory with Captain Kirk and Spock!"
"Can't believe Trelane sent you here," Leonard said with a mystified look.
"He sent something else, too." Howard walked into the room. Their engineer friend had his arms out like a scarecrow. He was covered with tribbles.
Behind him a smiling Raj was arm-in-arm with a brunette in a red Starfleet mini-skirt.
Leonard's frown got deeper. "What's going on here?"
"If we tell you, Doctor Hofstadter, you will simply not believe your ears."
"Oh! Good one, Spock!" Looking serious, Sheldon stepped forward. "Captain Kirk?"
"Yes, Sheldon?"
"You're in my spot."