Smutty and cheesy. Like a hot poutine of fanfiction.
I don't ship Gamora and Star Lord, but I had to get my sexual frustration out, so I have written the smuttiest and cheesiest fanfic about the two of them. It's so cheesy it should have a warning for people with high cholesterol.
Peter and Gamora were alone on the Milano as the rest of the team were messing around on Knowhere for the evening. Gamora felt it wise to lay low for a while. Even though she was now a hero as part of the Guardians of the Galaxy, she was still an ex-assassin.
Peter was fooling around with his cassette player and chose one of the many romantic songs on the tape.
"Come and Get Your Love" playing.
Peter turned around to face Gamora, who was leaning against the ladder that led up to the flight deck.
"Have you ever even kissed a guy?" Peter asked Gamora, a smirk on his face.
"I have seduced many during my time as an assassin." Gamora replied severely.
"Oh, and you judge me! I only sleep with girls because I find them hot. You do it for money." Peter laughed. "Did you kill any of them after you kissed them?" he whispered.
Gamora leaned in closer, her lips inches from Peter's left ear, "several." A smile played on her lips. "But I do not mate with them." She pulled herself back away from him and scowled at the ground.
"I don't mate with them either!" Peter exclaimed. "I damn well hope I don't have any children yet." He frowned. "So, you've never slept with anyone, or not with anyone you've killed?"
"I have… I was… I was raped on Tartoonla seven. But those men were killed by Thanos, and thanks to that I have my cybernetic enhancements." Her voice was expressionless, but her hesitation let on her apprehension to share such a personal story.
"Oh… I'm –" Peter was sobered by her unexpectedly traumatic story.
"Don't. And don't worry about it. It will not happen again." Gamora replied severely.
For a moment neither of them moved. Then Gamora pushed herself away from the ladder and joined Peter where he was lounging on the bed by the cassette player.
"Why do you have so many songs about love if you only want to sleep with women for fun?" Gamora asked.
"My mom made the playlist for me. And I like love. I just haven't met anyone special enough yet." Peter said off-hand.
Gamora decided to cut him down a little. "And how haven't you gotten bored of the same dozen songs when you have all the music in the universe to listen to. Earth isn't really known for its music."
"Well, it reminds me of home. I like it." Peter said quietly but defensively.
"So… you want your life to one day be like an Earth love song? Once you meet that magic girl?" Gamora teased.
"Well, none of those songs include Xandarians or green girls." Peter smirked. "Guess I have to find out what my 'type' is. What species I like."
"And then what? You're going to settle down on a planet, have some children and grow old with the love of your life?" Gamora smiled at the thought. The Star Lord she knew wouldn't do that.
"No. I guess I am looking for a partner. Someone to explore the universe with. Someone to… guard the galaxy with, eh?" Both of them smiled at the joke.
Cue "Cherry Bomb"
"C'mon, you're lonely, I'm lonely. Maybe we should… just…" he leaned in slowly towards her.
"If I kissed you, I'd have to kill you." Gamora whispered.
"But what if you close your eyes? Then you won't know who kissed you. Or I can keep a secret, there're no witnesses." Peter tried using a seductive voice. "And if you kill me you'll have to explain to the others. I don't think they'll be too happy."
Gamora couldn't contain a laugh.
"I just like being close to people." Peter implored, giving her puppy-dog eyes.
"And hurting people?" Gamora scoffed.
"No!" Peter rebutted. "Not on purpose. They just are too clingy."
"To trusting? They must be stupid to trust you." Glamora said, giving Peter a light punch on the shoulder.
Peter grabbed her hand and held it down on the bed. "You trust me. You trusted me enough to get into my spaceship. And that's not a euphemism. Though it could be…"
"Ugh, you're repulsive." Gamora rolled her eyes.
Cue "Moonage Daydream" then "Ain't No Mountain".
"And yet we've been staring into each other's eyes for two songs now." Peter whispered.
Cue "Fooled Around and Fell in Love".
Gamora rolled her eyes again but did not take her hand back from Peter. Peter scooted over in the bed and put his arm around her shoulder, giving her a squeeze. He slid his fingers of his free hand into hand and smiled because she wasn't resisting. She even intertwined her fingers with his so their little fingers were linked.
"You are persuasive." Gamora claimed.
"You don't seem too upset about it." Peter smiled. "But you sure are guarded."
"My people are peaceful. My parents taught were kind and loving. That is what I was born into. It was Thanos who turned me into a weapon. Maybe sometimes I don't know which is my real self." Gamora said. She turned to look Peter in the eyes, not afraid of his intense (and attractive) gaze.
"You could be both?" Peter gazed into her eyes. "Wanna try?" he leaned slowly towards her face, his eyes dropping to her slightly parted green lips. He leaned his head in close and stopped just before making contact with her lips. He stayed frozen like that. Gamora hadn't moved.
"Yes?" Peter asked. "No?"
Gamora remained silent for a moment.
"With you?" She said. "Of all people, I should trust you?" but she didn't move.
Peter jerked back so he could look at her better. "I did save your life!" he reminded her. "It was so heroic! I'm like, your prince charming. You should give me a kiss as a sign of your gratitude."
The cassette was now playing "Escape".
"Promise to keep me safe from Thanos? He's going to be hunting me down until he kills me."
"Promise. But if you can't defend yourself I don't think I'll be much help." Peter smirked. "But I promise not to hand you over to Thanos for any bounty." This made them both laugh.
"Ok, deal!" Glamora laughed. She tilted her head and kissed Peter on the lips quickly, then slipped forward off the bed, grabbed his hands and pulled him up to dance with her. He tried to kiss her again and she moved her head away, but then their lips locked and they forgot about dancing, instead wrapping their arms around each other as they deepened the kiss.