It's Hard To Think That A Heart Can Forget
They didn't speak the whole drive home. There was nothing to say. Joanna concentrated on the road as she drove; she was in shock, acting on auto-pilot. Freya starred out the passenger side window, sniffling occasionally.
The short drive from Fairhaven seemed to take forever and by the time she pulled into the driveway, Joanna felt like her body was made of lead. She sat unmoving in the now-stationary car. She could feel Freya watching her but she didn't have the energy to move yet.
It wasn't until Freya reached over and squeezed her hand that she was brought back to reality. Joanna looked over at her daughter, hating to see her in so much pain. Freya was pale and had silent tears running down her cheeks. The grief in her eyes was clear and Joanna knew exactly how she felt.
Joanna squeezed her hand back before letting go. She slowly climbed out of the driver's side and made her way around to where Freya was.
The second Joanna was by her side, Freya grabbed her hand. Neither of them felt like the had any energy as they slowly made there way to the front door.
They reached the foyer as Wendy came out of the kitchen to greet them, a smile evident on her face although it disappeared when she saw them.
"What happened?" She quickly made her way over to them, holding out her arms as Joanna looked like she was going to collapse at any moment.
Joanna didn't make eye contact. "Victor's dead." She said simply. There was nothing else that needed to be said.
"What?" Shock first, followed quickly by a wave of sadness. "How?"
Wendy didn't know what to say. She honestly wasn't sure that she had heard her sister right. If it wasn't for the grief on their faces, Wendy could have been sure that they were joking.
Joanna didn't say anything. She couldn't. Instead she let go of Freya's hand and gently passed by Wendy, making her way into the living room.
Wendy watched her sister leave, her mouth open in shock. She didn't believe it, but looking back at her now-crying niece, she knew she couldn't deny it either.
"Honey…"
Freya basically collapsed into Wendy's embrace, gripping her back as she sobbed into her shoulder. Wendy ran her hand up and down Freya's back soothingly, trying to come to terms with what was going on.
Victor wasn't dead. He couldn't be. If he was in danger, Joanna would have told her. The last she had heard he had missed his flight and was flying back tonight. Was it a car crash? Heart attack? Some other cosmic joke? There was nothing supernatural going on at the moment besides Fredrick and trying to figure out who else came through the portal. Was it them? Was it Fredrick?
Wendy's questions couldn't remain unanswered for another minute and she pulled back from Freya, making sure to keep a comforting grip on her arms.
"Freya… What happened?"
Freya didn't know where to start. "There, uh- there were these twins. From Asgard. They were Fredrick's friends. And, uh, I guess my friends too? I don't know-"
"Freya?"
Wendy's voice brought Freya back to reality. "They took me, and, uh, I guess they must have taken Victor too because when I got there, he was tied up to a pole and bleeding… God, there was so much blood." She covered her mouth and paused for a moment.
"Mom came." She frowned, confused. "I don't know how she knew we were there. Fredrick must have told her… The girl, I think her name was Isis, mom threw her across the room but she cast this spell on the chair I was in and then she turned into this gross rat thing and disappeared. I guess it was a bomb or something because mom told me it would blow up if I moved…"
She looked up at Wendy, realization, guilt and anguish in her eyes. Wendy tucked a piece of hair behind her ear lovingly. "Mom switched us. Dad told her to and then told us to get out, and then the room blew up."
Before Wendy could respond, the door opened and Ingrid came rushing in. "I need to talk to you-"
She paused and took in the sight in front of her. Her eyes grew wide as she noted the tears on both women's faces. "What happened?"
"Honey-"
Ingrid interrupted Wendy, panicking. "Oh my god, is it mom?"
"No." Wendy shook her head, reaching out to take Ingrid's hand. "No, your mom's fine."
"It's dad." Freya answered before Ingrid could speak again.
Ingrid looked confused. He wasn't due back until tonight.
"What about him?" She frowned, growing both disappointed and frustrated. She should have known better than to let him in their lives again. "Did he leave again or something?"
Freya covered her mouth with her hand, catching a sob. She looked to Wendy who nodded that it was okay for her to go join Joanna.
"No, honey." Wendy answered gently, not sure how to continue. "He's dead."
Ingrid frowned in confusion, shaking her head slightly. "What? How?"
"I don't know the specifics but there were some Zurka from Asgard and they took Freya and Victor. He died to save Freya and your mom."
Ingrid didn't even bother to ask what a 'Zurka' was. She frowned in confusion, not sure what to think or feel.
Eventually, she shook her head. "No, I don't accept that."
She moved past Wendy quickly and the older brunette turned to follow her, remaining on her heels as they made their way into the dining room. Ingrid rummaged through the breakfront before moving to the kitchen when she didn't find what she was looking for.
Wendy watched as Ingrid searched every countertop in the kitchen before she gave up in frustration.
"Damn it!" Ingrid threw her hands up. "Where is it?"
"Where is what?"
"The grimoire. It has to have a spell or a potion or something-"
Wendy reached out to stop her movements. "No, honey, it doesn't work like that. You can't just reverse death."
"And who would know that better than me, right?" Ingrid shot back out of frustration.
"Ingrid-"
"There has to be something we can do."
Wendy smiled sadly at her before speaking gently. "If there was, don't you think your mom and I would have tried it by now?"
This seemed to bring Ingrid back to reality. She frowned, not knowing what to say. A few tears made their way down Ingrid's cheek but she swiped them away quickly.
"It's okay to be upset."
Ingrid shook her head. No it wasn't. She had spent her entire life hating the man for no good reason at all. She had blamed him for leaving them without knowing the reason why. It didn't matter that he had been a proper dad for the past few weeks and that, although she wouldn't outwardly admit it, she had grown to love him as one; she didn't have the right to grieve.
Wendy knew exactly what was going through Ingrid's mind. It didn't take a genius to work it out. She also knew that Ingrid loved him and was grieving; Wendy had watched them bond over reading and spells and everything in between lately.
"He's your dad."
That was all Ingrid needed to start crying properly. She knew that Wendy had chosen to use the present tense rather than the past deliberately. She fell into Wendy's arms a second later and allowed her aunt to comfort her.
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Hours ticked by, and Wendy appeared in the entrance of the living room, watching her sister carefully.
"Hey…"
Joanna didn't look up, continuing to stare at the fire. "How's Ingrid?" Her voice cracked. A part of her felt guilty for not comforting her daughter but she honestly didn't feel that she had enough energy to do so. She was grateful Wendy had stepped in.
"She's asleep in Freya's room. I gave her a little something to help."
Joanna nodded.
"Where's Freya?"
Joanna drew in a breath. "At the bar. She needed some time."
Wendy nodded in response. She was tempted to ask where Fredrick was as well but decided against it.
Wendy didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to help. She wanted to find out exactly what had happened and cry, but she knew neither of those options were going to help Joanna. She needed to be the strong one for once.
Wendy grabbed a blanket off the couch and gently wrapping it around her sister's shoulders. Joanna gripped the blanket gratefully as Wendy settled on the floor beside her. Neither of them said anything as they both stared at the fire.
"I'm so sorry, Jo…" Wendy all but whispered.
Joanna frowned and pursed her lips together, clearing trying to keep from crying. She didn't say anything; she couldn't.
Instead she reached out and clasped Wendy's hand tightly, trying to draw strength and forget what had happened.
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Killian made his way through the crowded bar quickly, his focus on Freya who was sitting at the bar. He was angry and he needed answers, ones that Freya should have given him a long time ago.
"I need to talk to you."
"My father died."
Killian didn't say anything as he allowed Freya to embrace him. He automatically hugged her back, his anger diminishing.
They stood in silence for a while, ignoring the curious glances from other customers. Eventually Killian pulled away but he made sure to keep his hands on Freya's arms.
He gave her a small, sympathetic smile. "Come on. Let's get out of here."
Killian grabbed Freya's jacket off of the stool and draped it around her shoulders before putting a hand on her lower back and leading her out of the bar.
Freya didn't know where they were going but when Killian pulled up in the parking lot at the beach, she was grateful that he knew her so well.
"It's not my boat but it's something." He smiled sweetly at her. Freya smiled back gratefully, accepting his hand and allowing him to lead her down to the sand.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, both starring out over the ocean, before Freya spoke up.
"Distract me."
Killian was caught off-guard as he tried to come up with something to talk about. Now wasn't the right time to demand answers, nor could he really talk about his day with Dash and Ingrid.
"I spy something beginning with… P."
Freya looked over at him and laughed. "I spy? Really?"
"What?" Killian chuckled. "You said to distract you."
Freya frowned at the reminder but quickly went back to watching the ocean. "…So, P, huh?"
Neither of them knew how long they had been there, and Killian was doing a good job of distracting Freya. They were interrupted from another riveting game of I Spy when Freya's cell rang.
Freya glanced down at the caller ID, noting that it read 'home'. On one hand, she wanted to answer it in case it was her mom, or Ingrid, or Wendy, but on the other, she couldn't be sure that it wasn't Fredrick and she honestly couldn't think about talking to him right now. And anyway, who still used a landline?
"Answer it." She handed the phone over to Killian who frowned in response, looking down at the caller ID. "If it's my brother, I don't want to talk to him."
Killian nodded, slightly confused. He clicked 'answer' before putting the phone to his ear. "Freya's phone."
"Fredrick?" Came the confused voice on the other end. Wendy.
"No, it's Killian." He looked over at Freya, covering the mouthpiece. "It's your aunt."
He handed the phone over and watched as Freya answered it. "Aunt Wendy?"
"Hey sweetie."
Freya felt her eyes filling with tears at her aunt's concerned and grief-stricken tone, everything coming flooding back. She couldn't bring herself to respond for fear she would start crying once again.
"Where are you?"
Freya drew in a shaky breath. "At the beach."
"Are you okay?"
Freya ignored the question. "How's mom?"
It was Wendy's turn to hesitate. "She's strong, she'll get through this." A pause. "We all will."
There was silence on both ends, both women needing to believe what Wendy had said.
"Do you want me to come pick you up?"
Freya didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay here with Killian, trying to forget. Yet at the same time, all she wanted was her mom.
"No, it's okay." Freya shook her head, glancing over at Killian. "Killian drove. I'll just get him to drop me home."
"Okay…"
"I'll see you soon."
"Bye, honey."
Freya hung up the call and drew in a deep breath, gripping her knees a little tighter. After a few minutes, she looked over at Killian.
"Can you drop me home?"
Killian nodded, giving her a small smile. "Of course."
He stood up and held out a hand for Freya before pulling her to her feet. They walked in silence back to the car, close enough that they could feel each other's presence but not touching.
The drive was short and silent. Killian pulled up in front of the house and looked over at Freya, following her lead. He would sit there all night if that's what she wanted.
Eventually Freya took off her seat belt and met his eyes. "Thank you."
"If you need anything, give me a call."
Freya gave him a small smile and nodded. Killian leant closer and placed a small, loving kiss to her cheek.
Wendy met her as she entered the house. Exhausted, Freya fell into her aunt's awaiting arms. They pulled back after a few minutes and Wendy rubbed Freya's arms comfortingly, smiling sadly.
"Where's mom?"
Wendy nodded back down the hallway. "Living room."
Freya moved past her and into the living room, hesitating in the doorway when she saw Joanna still sitting on the floor in front of the fire.
Eventually she made her way over and sat next to Joanna while Wendy remained in the doorway.
"I'm going to check on Ingrid."
Wendy left without another word, leaving the two brunettes in silence. Freya finally spoke up after a few minutes, her voice hitching with tears.
"I'm so sorry, mom."
Joanna looked over at Freya and shook her head, trying to smile reassuringly although it came out as more of a grimace. Her voice was thick as she spoke. "It wasn't your fault."
"No, but I shouldn't have been there. I should have known better. I knew they were from Asgard and I should've-"
Joanna stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder, shaking her head again. "It wasn't your fault." She reiterated.
Freya's brow furrowed as she felt tears once again overcome her. She leant forward and allowed herself to be wrapped up in her mom's embrace, only crying harder when she felt her mom's tears soak through her top.
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Wendy didn't bother knocking as she made her way into Freya's room. She knew Ingrid would be asleep; she had spelled her tea to make sure of it.
She lowered herself down onto the each of the bed and gently leant over to brush some hair back from Ingrid's face. Even though she was asleep, Wendy could still make out the anguish on her niece's face.
Deciding whether or not to leave her sleeping restlessly, Wendy went with the latter. She gently stroked the side of Ingrid's face and gave a small smile as the redhead came around.
"Hey…"
Ingrid frowned, confused. "Hey…" She whispered in response.
"How are you feeling?"
Ingrid frowned again before lifting her hands up to cover her eyes. "It wasn't a dream, was it?"
"No, it wasn't…"
Ingrid drew in a deep, shaky breath before responding a few moments later. "Where are mom and Freya?"
"Downstairs."
Ingrid didn't need to hear anymore to know her mom probably wouldn't have moved from the living room. She nodded, looking up at Wendy and forcing a smile. "You should go check on them."
"I came to check on you."
"I'm fine, Wendy." Wendy frowned in response but let it go when Ingrid continued. "…Please?"
Wendy wanted to stay but she knew Ingrid needed some time alone. She gave a small smile and nodded, leaning over to place a kiss on Ingrid's forehead.
"I'll be downstairs if you need me."
Without another word, Wendy disappeared out of the room but made sure to leave the door slightly ajar as she did.
Wendy and Freya met in the stairway, each of them going the other way. They paused, and Wendy reached out to grasp Freya's hand gently.
"Are you okay?"
Freya could only shake her head. Wendy gave a sympathetic smile, knowing exactly how Freya was feeling.
Eventually Freya sighed, her voice filled with exhaustion. "I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed."
Wendy nodded understandably, slowly pulling Freya into a hug. "I love you."
"I know." Freya nodded into Wendy's shoulder before pulling back. "I love you too."
Wendy watched as Freya made her way upstairs before heading towards the living room.
Joanna had thought about it countless times in the past. She knew the side effects but it didn't stop the resurrection spell from tempting her every single time her girls died. It never got any easier. But now, now it was different. Victor wasn't going to be reborn. He couldn't. Her husband. Forever dead. And he was technically still her husband; they had never felt the need to divorce in the mortal world when they were married in a supernatural one. That title had simply slipped away when Victor had slipped out of their lives.
The stark reality that the man she had never stopped loving in hundreds of years was dead hit Joanna like a brick, overwhelming her. She felt like she couldn't breathe.
"Joanna?"
Her eyes snapped up to the doorway as Wendy entered the room. Wendy frowned, moving quickly to kneel beside her.
"Breathe."
It was an easy enough request but harder than it seemed. Joanna drew in quick, sharp breaths to try and steady herself. She knew she was on the border of fully losing it but she honestly wanted to be alone when that happened.
Wendy's soothing hand on her arm was eventually enough for Joanna to compose herself.
"You're exhausted." Wendy noted. "We should get to bed."
Joanna shook her head, meeting Wendy's eyes. "I can't sleep in that bed alone."
It took a few seconds for it to hit Wendy but she finally caught on to what she meant. Victor had been there next to her every single night since he had come back. Tonight was different.
"Come on."
Wendy stood up and gently pulled Joanna to her feet. Joanna didn't argue nor did she let go of Wendy's hand as she allowed her sister to pull her up the stairs.
They made their way into Joanna's bedroom and Joanna reluctantly allowed Wendy to lead her over to the bed. She crawled under the covers and was joined by Wendy a second later.
They lay there facing each other, both sisters lost in thought. It didn't take long for them to drift to sleep but before they did, Wendy reached out and gripped Joanna's hand, reassuring her that she was there.
Little did they know, the younger Beauchamp women were doing exactly the same thing one room over.
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It got easier over time. For Joanna, it still hurt like hell every time she thought about Victor, but with time came some peace. It helped that Freya and Ingrid had started asking for stories. Wendy would offer one out of the blue when something reminded her of him, and Joanna would find herself smiling as she listened to Wendy recount and watched the girls listen and laugh. She too found herself remembering moments with him out loud, and she found herself recognizing little traits of Victor in each of their daughters even more than usual.
She missed him everyday, but she knew that even if he wasn't there physically, he would always be there in presence.