Disclaimer: Do you see me, a Belgian girl, write such remarkably beautiful stories as J.K. Rowling? Didn't think so. (However...)

A/N: This one is just for fun. I was feeling bored and needed a good laugh, and a way to let my silly imagination run freely. Oh, and I'm wearing my new, fluffy slippers. Reason enough to doze away, but... Well, this is the result. It's mainly about James' feelings towards Lily, but there's also mentioning of a 'surprise couple'... You shall have to read for yourselves to see who I mean!

In his first year at Hogwarts, James Potter's eye fell on a beautiful, red haired girl with the name Lily Evans. Young and inexperienced as he was, he tried everything to gain her attention – as well as writing a horrible poem - which I possess now – in his fifth year. As a fan girl, I decided to dig further in the matter, and asked our dear James to retell the whole story of his suffering before, during and after reading his poem to her and the declaration of his eternal love for Lily. This is what he told me…

'Potter, if this is a joke…' Lily Evans began furiously, talking to someone she actually couldn't see for a curtain was in her way, before she was cut off by Sirius Black's hand on her mouth. 'Shh,' he hushed her, grinning madly. 'I promise James has done his very best to make this a lovely date for you.' Lily's eyes widened and she slapped the offending hand away. 'Date?!' she exclaimed. 'Who told you this was a date? Whoever it was, I shall make him pay for it and…' Another, seemingly tired voice reached her ears. 'Lily,' Remus Lupin started, smiling softly. 'James really wants to tell you something. I can assure you that you won't regret it.'

If there was anyone the stubborn Lily Evans listened to, it was the quiet, gentle Remus. She allowed a small smile to appear on the corners of her mouth too, before sighing and giving in: 'Fine then. Let's get on with it.'

The three of them were sitting in the Common Room. Sirius had done his best to chase away everyone – including Peter Pettigrew. The younger students weren't a problem: he just had to look dangerously at them and they would already wet their pants, but the elder… He could feel it in the loss of weight in his wallet how hard he had tried to persuade them not to disturb them that evening. He had hung up a red curtain, which nearly split the room into two equally big parts, and behind it, James was standing practising his… Whatever it was.

'Just make you comfortable in your seat, Evans, and watch James trying to se-' He was cut off mid-sentence by Remus' elbow in his ribs, but the smirk on his face still didn't vanish. 'Well, just watch,' he continued contently. Then, the lights went out. Lily raised an eyebrow when suddenly her favourite song began playing from an unknown source. Perhaps James had really done his best to… Unfortunately, a very false voice started singing, or rather saying, different lyrics, and Lily's expression returned to a grimace again. Damn that Potter. Trying to damage her ears.

James slid open the red curtain, stepping forward so he was only a few steps away from the trio, and pointed with his wand to somewhere behind him. The music stopped immediately. 'Lily,' he began excited. 'Especially for you, I made a poem.'

Lily frowned. 'A poem?' she asked. James nodded. 'A poem, yes,' he beamed, adjusting his glasses a bit. 'May I?' he questioned cheerfully. The redhead shrugged. It could have been worse. James cleared his throat, started fumbling with a piece of paper he had taken out of his pocket and started reading out loud:

'Whenever I look at you

You make me soar

Your crystal voice

Nicer than that of a boar

Your soft hair

Flowing and scarlet

Makes me want to bite in it

Like in a carrot

Your eyes

The greenest tint of green

Colour of the greenest puke

I have ever, ever seen

And even your shadow

Isn't as mysterious as you

When I look back

At the things you make me do

So please Lily Evans

Listen to my prayers and

Make my suffering come

To a happy end!'

James ended by kneeling dramatically in front of Lily, head heaved up to the ceiling and eyes closed, lips pulled into a big grin. Unfortunately for him, he didn't see the red hair's shocked look in her green orbs, and so her next words completely caught him off guard. 'James Potter…' she whispered, voice trembling with anger. 'I thought I could never hate you more than I already did, but… You achieved the impossible!' She shouted the last sentence, before standing up pushing the raven, causing him to tumble on the floor.

'You stupid, annoying, pretentious… I don't know what, but it'd better be the worst curse possible! I make you sore? Does it really hurt you that much when you look at me? And my voice is nicer than a boar's… Thank you for the compliment! It's great! Just like my carroty, ready-to-bite hair and my puke-green eyes! You really flatter me, Potter!'

With those words and an angry glare, she stalked off to the Dormitories, leaving an aghast James and a quiet Sirius and Remus behind. James scratched the back of his head. 'Didn't she like it?' he asked, looking at his friends for some support. Sirius shrugged and Remus averted his eyes. Both were trying not to burst out into laughter, especially Sirius. 'No, mate,' the latter said, withholding his snorts. 'She's just a bit confused now from such a beautiful poem. You know what they say: when a girl shouts at you, she's actually in love with you. And… If you had read it to me, I would have kissed you.'

James contorted his face in a disgusted expression. 'Yikes,' he said, shuddering, before he stood up and continued: 'But eh… Do you think there really is a chance she likes me back? I mean – that she liked my poem?' Remus quickly turned and brought a hand to his mouth as not to laugh out loud, and Sirius hiccupped: 'Sure thing.' James' face immediately lit up, and he nearly skipped out of the room, exclaiming: 'Yes! Finally I will find my happy end!' Remus and Sirius both looked at each other quietly for a moment, but when they saw the portrait hole closing behind James, they couldn't hold their laughter anymore.

'Poor James,' Sirius managed to say, wiping away the tears of joy from his eyes. 'And he actually believes she liked how he compared her with a boar…' Remus pushed some of his brown hair out of his eyes and answered, still smiling: 'But that kissing… You didn't mean that, right?' Sirius smirked, pulling the other boy some closer towards him. 'Of course not. Unless, of course, I had been speaking to you.'

They both sat still on the red couch, thinking of when James would finally find out the truth. But well… The raven still had nearly three whole years.

And it wasn't a surprise that, when Lily and James finally formed a couple, Lily had asked him explicitly not to write any poems ever again.