WINRY ROCKBELL: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Disclaimer: This authoress does not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of the respective characters. The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual series format belongs to Theresa Green.
A/N: Right. I know I said I would never write a guide for a female character, but I had this sudden inspiration for a Winry unit, so I had to write it. So consider this a companion fic to my guides for Roy, Edward, Envy, Greed and the eventual Alphonse (which is coming). Please read and review XD
CONGRATULATIONS!
You are now the proud owner of a WINRY ROCKBELL! To unlock the full potential of your very own Expert Mechanic, read the following manual with care as misuse of the WINRY can result in fatal wrench accidents.
Technical SpecificationsName: Winry Rockbell (will also respond to "Win", "Neighbour girl" and "That crazy chick with the wrench!".)
Age: 15
Place of Manufacture: Village of Resembool, Amestris.
Height: 163 cm
Weight: Never ask a girl her weight – especially one armed with a wrench.
Your WINRY comes with the following accessories:
One Black Boob-Tube
One Pair Lavender Cargo Pants (matching sweater usually worn around waist)
One Red Bandanna
One Pair Olive Green Gloves
One Pair Black Boots
One Pair Socks
One Work Apron ("Kiss the Mechanic" version available)
One Earring Set (x4 silver hoops, x2 silver studs)
One Toolkit
The Rockbell Guide to Auto-Mail© Textbook
WINRY ROCKBELL units are extremely fond of wardrobe changes, so if your mechanic is dissatisfied with her default outfit, take her on a shopping spree at the local mall. On second thought, rather order new outfits from our website or mail-order catalogue – shopping with a WINRY can be a traumatic experience (especially for your bank account) if she catches sight of any new auto-mail.
Removing your WINRY from her boxThe WINRY ROCKBELL is quite intelligent, so to prevent them from escaping out of their boxes before they reach their destinations, all units are packaged with an appliance that will keep them preoccupied until the box is opened. The problem starts, however, when you want her to come out: if your new WINRY has not explored the machine to her satisfaction, she will most likely refuse to come out until she has done so.
If you lack patience, mention the following loudly: "Oh well, looks like somebody is going to have to miss a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Rush Valley!" She should immediately burst out of the box, but if this method fails (though a spaceship is more likely to fall out of the sky), shout "Oh my god, is that Edward Elric running around NAKED?"
If that does not get the attention of your WINRY, nothing will.
Once your WINRY ROCKBELL is safely out of the box, she may be a little upset that there is no trip to Rush Valley or naked Ed (of course, if you do have an EDWARD, this can easily be arranged). Calm her down by giving her the enclosed toolkit, and also show her your proof of purchase. Your WINRY should be so distracted by her shiny new wrench she will agree to anything.
ProgrammingYour WINRY ROCKBELL will have been programmed with a number of useful functions and modes, each designed to maximise your own benefit and pleasure:
Mechanic: Are you sick of parting with your hard-earned cash every time something in the house breaks down? With a WINRY ROCKBELL around, everything from the toaster to your car will be kept in tip-top condition without you having to spend a cent! Her services can even be hired out to earn you some extra pocket money, and she will also be able to service all the EDWARD ELRIC units in the neighbourhood (and no, not in that way you perverts, we meant auto-mail maintenance).
Best Friend: With the uncanny ability to befriend almost everyone she meets, the WINRY ROCKBELL is the perfect companion for any person, male or female, young or old. Shopping, gossiping, angsting, baking, alien-hunting, amusing small children – you name it, the WINRY does it!
Elric Agony Aunt: Is your EDWARD depressed? Is your ALPHONSE suffering from an intense bout of angst-ridden insecurity? Sit them down with a WINRY ROCKBELL and watch as she uses her excellent listening skills to comfort and "de-angst" the brothers, bringing them instant comfort!
Your WINRY ROCKBELL will come in the following modes:
Auto-Mail Frenzy (default)
Stubborn
Tearful
Protective
Wrench Rage (locked)
Head Over Heels (locked)
Out of Character (locked)
Auto-Mail Frenzy is easily identifiable by starry eyes and flushed cheeks, and in this mode your WINRY expresses her love for anything mechanical with an enthusiasm that borders on freaky obsession. Caution: this mode should in no way be confused with the extremely dangerous Wrench Rage mode, which is most commonly triggered by EDWARD ELRIC units. When your WINRY is in Wrench Rage mode, avoid upsetting her further and maintain a safe distance until she cools off.
Head Over Heels mode is unlocked when the WINRY falls in love with another unit, which is an automatic action when it comes to an EDWARD ELRIC or ALPHONSE ELRIC. For a WINRY ROCKBELL to fall for any other unit, the Out of Character mode must first be unlocked, but this will not work in the case of a ROY MUSTANG (see FAQ for further details).
To unlock Out of Character mode, confiscate her toolkit and force your WINRY to go cold turkey – strictly no mechanics for a week!
Relations with Other UnitsEDWARD ELRIC: Even though the Fullmetal Alchemist is vertically challenged and an unfortunate victim of SMS (Short Man Syndrome. Symptoms include hostility, extreme aggression and going berserk whenever the words 'small' or 'chibi' are used), he is a gorgeous unit, with hair any girl would die for and a body that defies logic (how can a fifteen year old shorty have muscles that well-defined and a body that screams "ravage me"?). Your WINRY ROCKBELL is very close to this unit, and will enjoy braiding his hair and talking about his problems.
ALPHONSE ELRIC: The youngest (believe it!) of the Elric Brothers set has the cutest crush on the WINRY ROCKBELL, even though he is roughly three times her size and width. But as cute and sweet as he is, the WINRY seems more interested in his 'big' brother. Of course, the last thing he needs is more angst in his life… but it looks like the ALPHONSE is going to get it either way.
PINAKO ROCKBELL: Former drinking buddy of the LIGHT HOHENHEIM and the "Leopardess of Resembool", the PINAKO ROCKBELL is the grandmother of the WINRY ROCKBELL and a highly skilled auto-mail mechanic. Strict but supportive, she raised the WINRY and trained her to be the Expert Mechanic she is today. So the next time you meet a PINAKO ROCKBELL, give her a pat on the back and congratulate her for doing such a good job.
DEN: This faithful pooch is the pet of the Rockbell family (he has the auto-mail to prove it) and has been the companion of the WINRY for several years. If your WINRY is looking a little lonely and you can't afford either of the Elric Brothers, purchase this cheaper unit and she should cheer up considerably.
ROY MUSTANG: During the Ishbalan War, the ROY MUSTANG killed the parental units of the WINRY ROCKBELL under military orders, so obviously their relationship is a little strained. Your WINRY will find it difficult to accept that she can do nothing because the ROY MUSTANG has the protection of the RIZA HAWKEYE and the friendship of the MAES HUGHES, but just tell her to deal with it (accusing gazes filled with all the tragedy of her young life will do just fine) – cause the last thing she needs is a pissed off RIZA HAWKEYE coming after her, trust me.
MAES HUGHES: Devoted, loving and the ultimate family-man, the MAES HUGHES will prove to be an invaluable source of comfort and advice for your WINRY. To prevent more emotional damage to your WINRY, please ensure that your MAES HUGHES is never left unsupervised with an ENVY. Really, it would save her a lot of grief, and save you from buying another MAES HUGHES.
SCIESZKA: Bookish to the extreme, this eccentric former librarian will drag your WINRY on secret investigations and phone-tapping missions. Her theories may be outrageous and idiotic, but hey, chasing after space aliens could be fun and provide an opportunity for your WINRY to get some exercise.
ENVY: This sneaky homunculus likes to manipulate EDWARD ELRIC units and frequently transforms into a WINRY to do so. It would be a good idea for you to set up a password system with your WINRY to avoid being tricked by the ENVY, and any other units you may own so that your WINRY is not deceived by an ENVY claiming to be your EDWARD. Accidents can and will happen, especially if an ENVY is involved… (see FAQ for further details).
CleaningYour WINRY ROCKBELL spends most/all of her spare time tinkering around with dirty machines and greasy auto-mail, so she usually ends up covered in oil and other workshop-related substances. Fortunately, the WINRY is a female and does not need to be forced into taking a bath or shower. But male (or female) owners may feel that she needs assistance. Grease can be difficult to get off, you know. And she might need help washing her back…
WARNING: the manufacturers will not be held responsible for any marital/relationship disputes caused by cleaning a WINRY ROCKBELL.
FeedingTo keep your WINRY ROCKBELL in tip-top condition, give her three balanced meals per day, with plenty of fish and other 'brain' foods to preserve her intelligence. Keep snacks to a minimum but feel free to give your unit treats for good behaviour.
RestWINRY ROCKBELL units require a minimum of eight hours of sleep per day to function correctly, but will often insist that they need less if they have a project to work on. In these situations, it is important for you to put your foot down and insist that she goes to bed. A sleep-deprived WINRY is extremely dangerous when working with machinery and we all know what happened when she screwed up the last time (ask the nearest EDWARD ELRIC for details or just watch episode twenty two).
Frequently Asked QuestionsQ: My WINRY is driving me mad with her compulsive need to know how everything works – every time I buy a new gadget, she has to take it apart!
A: Threaten to confiscate her wrench – that should check her behaviour. But there are times when the WINRY ROCKBELL will simply be unable to control herself around shiny new gadgets (the Auto-Mail Frenzy mode), so have spare broken appliances on hand for these emergencies.
Q: My WINRY unit keeps ranting on about these "Rose" and "Noah" chicks, and interrogating my EDWARD about his relationship with them. Is she just being paranoid?
A: Your poor mechanic is suffering from jealousy and rightly so. Firstly, take care of your WINRY by assuring her that the EDWARD is not involved with either girl (if he is, borrow an IZUMI CURTIS to put him back in line). Then lock both units in a room for a day so they can work out the kinks in their relationship. By the time you let them out, they would have resolved their differences, with the ROSE THOMAS and NOAH units nothing more than a vague memory.
Q: Every night, my WINRY insists on standing at my bedroom window and flashing a lamp, sometimes for hours. No matter how many times I tell her that I need my beauty sleep, she refuses to quit. Is this some kind of weird glitch?
A: No. It is a sweet, beautiful gesture that should be rewarded: your unit is sending the Elric brothers the signal to come home, just like their mother, the TRISHA ELRIC, used to do. Gently explain that they will always return home to where she is, but if she refuses to listen to you, get a MAES HUGHES to do it.
Q: My WINRY ROCKBELL is depressed because my EDWARD refuses to open up to her and share his secrets.
A: Borrow a MAES HUGHES to comfort your unit. Once she realizes that she is the one that the Elric brothers will always come back to because of their childhood bond, she should cheer up. If not, give her a broken appliance to play with. Alternatively, tell her that people are usually more open in the bedroom, even men. So seducing an EDWARD ELRIC should be a pretty effective way to get him to open up – literally!
Q: Is there any way for my WINRY to get along with my ROY MUSTANG?
A: Not unless the ROY MUSTANG was unconscious from a severe wrench-beating.
Q: I love my WINRY the way she is, but I recently unlocked her Out of Character mode so she would fall in love with my ROY MUSTANG, and she went completely berserk! She bolted out of the house, screeching that she was the "Leopardess of Resembool", stole a motorbike she called her "Panther", and scared the shit out of everyone within a three mile radius. Um, did I do something wrong?
A: WINRY units are usually happy with any unit you choose to pair them with in their Out of Character modes, but a ROY MUSTANG is going too far. When you tried to force your WINRY into falling for him, she rejected the programming and shifted into YOUNG PINAKO mode to escape. She will most likely refuse to return until you get rid of the ROY MUSTANG (or she will return with the biggest wrench she can find and do it herself), so dispose of him if you want her back, and buy a more suitable companion such as the EDWARD ELRIC.
Q: My WINRY finally bred with my EDWARD ELRIC, but the baby has green, spiky hair, a weird tattoo over his bellybutton and a fetish for tight clothing and auto-mail. What the hell?
A: Congratulations! Your WINRY ROCKBELL has successfully bred with an ENVY, and you are now the proud owner of your very own WINVY unit! With a passion for auto-mail and tight-fitting clothes, this little cutie is guaranteed to provide you with hours of fun and entertainment, even though he/she may try to kick you in the face from time to time (see ENVY: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual for further details on this bizarre action).
Caution: if you attempt to breed your WINRY with another EDWARD, the ENVY will shift into Jealous mode, kill the EDWARD and then come after you. It would be best to keep the ENVY and his new family together and sell the EDWARD. But if your WINRY rejects the ENVY, kick his lying ass onto the curb and stick with the EDWARD.
TroubleshootingProblem: Your WINRY is behaving very strangely, and only seems interested in chasing EDWARD ELRIC units, even when you offered to let her take your computer apart. And when you asked her to fix something, she seemed lost and only made the problem worse than before.
Solution: The most likely solution is that your WINRY is in fact an ENVY, but the problem could also be viral in nature. If a WINRY becomes so obsessed with EDWARD ELRIC units that she shows no interest in anything mechanical and becomes addicted to downloading questionable material off the Internet, she has been infected with the dreaded and incurable Rabid Fangirl© virus. The infection can only get worse, so dispose of her and buy a new WINRY or a model resistant to the virus, like the RIZA HAWKEYE or IZUMI CURTIS. Note: To safeguard against this problem with a WINRY ROCKBELL in the future, keep contact with excess numbers of EDWARD ELRIC units to a minimum, and install an Anti-Fangirl© virus protection program.
Problem: The WINRY is more interested in mechanics and auto-mail than having babies with an EDWARD ELRIC.
Solution: Well, the WINRY is still only fifteen years old, and while she may develop an interest in sex, babies are the last things on her mind. You might want to give her a few years to grow up first before you start hinting at kids.
Problem: Your WINRY is skulking around with a guilty expression on her face, and seems to be avoiding your EDWARD ELRIC.
Solution: She probably took his State Alchemist Silver Clock© accessory without permission and now feels guilty for seeing his secret. Discreetly hint to your WINRY that she should put it back, but it might be a good idea to let the EDWARD find out – their confrontation will only result in a deeper bond of understanding between them.
Problem: You told your WINRY that her auto-mail is the equivalent of scrap metal when compared to alchemy.
Solution: Run. Run to the ends of the earth as fast as you can. After your unit has had sufficient time to cool off, and shifted out of Wrench Rage mode (which can be anywhere from three to six months), return home and hope that she will let you off with a mild concussion.
Final NoteWith much love and care, your Expert Mechanic will grow up to be an exceptionally gifted young lady with a fetish for shiny metal objects and a fierce temper. Luckily for you, the WINRY ROCKBELL is a Certified Bishojo© and will remain long after you are gone, providing your descendents with loving companionship and genius babies, all prodigies in the field of anything mechanical. To prevent fights and custody battles, ensure that your WINRY ROCKBELL is entrusted into the guardianship of a responsible family member upon your death.