I just played this game and I had a nightmare about it so...yeah, that's pretty much how this fic happened.
It was an extremely ordinary day at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Place! Yeah, believe that if you want to.
The employees were all doing their jobs, the animatronics were not being too deadly, and the manager, Mr. Eugene, was doing the thing he loved to do best.
"Ahh, I LOVE the smell of low paychecks in the morning." Eugene said, taking a money bath in his luxurious office.
No, seriously. The man was taking a money bath. With actual MONEY.
He loved giving his employees low paychecks daily because it gave him a 'little joy inside.'
And because he just really, really, had a thing for money. I dunno, like a fetish, maybe?
Yup. Nothing could spoil this manager's fun. Nothing, except a recently fired employee, of course.
There was a hard knock on the door.
"The door's ope-"
"Just what the hell is THIS?!" An angry Mike Schmidt exclaimed, barging into his manager's office.
Eugene looked at him, slightly confused.
"A money bath...?"
"No, ASS WIPE! What is THIS?!" Mike exclaimed, throwing his notice of termination letter at him.
Eugene clumsily caught the flying paper and began reading over it.
"Ohhh, this! This is a letter stating that I fired you. Good day." He said, sinking into his bathtub full of money.
"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! WHY DID YOU FIRE ME?!"
"Do you mind? I'm trying to take a bath with other people's money!"
"WHY DID YOU FIRE ME?!" Mike shouted at him again. "I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I GET A LEGITIMATE ANSWER!"
"Oh? And what if I turn Foxy on free roam mode to escort you out? Would you like that?" Eugene asked him, raising an eyebrow.
"Please. I doubt that you need another incident like The Bite Of '87 to happen." Mike said, crossing his arms and having a seat on one of his boss's chairs.
Eugene knew that he had a point. He sighed and grabbed his reading glasses.
"Alright...says here that you were tampering with the animatronics, being unprofessional, and giving off odor, or something like that." The manager told him, reading from the paper.
Mike just stood there in disbelief at what he was hearing.
"Tampering with the animatronics. TAMPERING WITH THE DAMN ANIMATRONICS?! IF ANYTHING, THE ANIMATRONICS WERE TAMPERING WITH ME! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I GOT KILLED AND STUFFED INTO A COSTUME?!"
The manager tilted his head at him.
"Well, you respawned, didn't ya?"
"YEAH! BUT THE IT STILL FUCKIN' HURTS TO DIE, DAMMIT!"
"Look Mike, you are not, I repeat, NOT, under any circumstances, supposed to mess around with the animatronics. If you do, you are basically wearing a sign around your neck saying, 'Kill Me.' You had ONE job, and that was to watch over the animatronics with the security cameras. Why in the hell would you want to make it more difficult?" Eugene asked.
"Maybe I like to challenge myself once in a while..." Mike muttered.
"Whatever. It also said that you were being unprofessional, which means you were screaming and panicking like a little bitch."
"What?! The only thing screaming was Foxy when he ran down the hall in an attempt to kill me! No one was panicking and screaming like a bitch!" Mike defended.
Eugene took out a tape recorder and pressed play.
"AAAAAAHH! OHMIGAWD, WHEN DID VIDEO GAMES GET SO DAMN VIOLENT?! WHY ISN'T THE DOOR CLOSING?! WHY ARE THE LIGHTS OUT?! WHY DO I HEAR MUSIC?! WHY IS THIS BEAR COMING TOWARDS ME?! NO FREDDY, THAT'S A BAD- NO, FREDDY! NOOOOOOOO!"
"So...no one was screaming and panicking, huh?" Eugene asked with a smirk on his face.
"You heard me suffering and you didn't try to do anything about it?! What kind of manager are you?!" Mike asked angrily.
"The kind of manager that loves money but doesn't give two shits about the safety of his employees." Eugene answered simply.
"..."
"..."
"...I'll give you points for honesty."
"Now, the last reason you were fired was because of odor. It doesn't necessarily mean that you started to stink up the place, but we just can't have you releasing your, um, body fluids, in the office because the next security guard might not like that so much. Not that we planned on you getting killed, just saying in general...heh..." Eugene chuckled nervously.
"If you were in an office that had animatronic animals attempting to kill you repeatedly, you would sweat too!"
"Well, if I knew that I would just respawn again, I would man up and stop whining like a baby!"
"LOOK MAN! JUST GIVE ME MY JOB BACK, OKAY?! BILLS NEED TO BE PAID!"
"If bills need to be paid so bad, why don't you go across the street?! Chuck E. Cheese's is hiring!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE- wait, really? They're hiring?" Mike questioned.
"Duh, dipshit! Now get out of my damn office before I use force!" Eugene threatened.
"I hope you die of AIDS." Mike said, leaving out of Eugene's office.
"Oh yeah?! Well I hope you get anally raped by Foxy!"
"Dude, I'm not gay." Foxy said, coming out of the office closet.
"...You just came out of the closet..." Euegene started.
"SO?! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?!" Foxy snapped.
"Er...nothing."
I think he handled it well.