Khm...

I made this becuse has been flooded with these kinds of stories. So here is me, showing you how NOT to write a TMM fic!

First, I introduce you to the MARY-SUE.

Note: I'm showing you the worst case. I've found some good New Mew stories, which I applaud for. This is the most radical version.

The beginning

One day, a girl was walking down the street. She wore a school uniform, which was pink and blue at the same time. Her hair was shoulder lenght, and it was shining in the sunlight with a golden light. Her face was round and her eyes were ligth blue and bright green at the same time. She was quite tall, and there was something wild about her.

And then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant rat like thing appeared in front of her! It was about to charge, when something hit it. Five strange looking girls appeared, and started fighting with it, but after a few seconds, the rat smashed them to the nearest building. After that, it charged the girl, who, with a smile - she had perfect white teeth - whispered, but everyone could hear her beautiful voice:

"Mew Mew Angelcake, metamorphosis!"

Then a a blue light covered her body, and their was a pendant in her hand, which flew up into the air. She jumped into a skirt, which got longer, so she had a stylish onepiece (I'm not sure, how do they call it) on. Then some ribbons came out of nowhere and wrapped around her waist, but they did not stay like this, instead they have become huge wings (if you have seen Digimon: imagine Angewomon's wings). She jumped into a pair of boots, and gloves flew on to her hands. Her hair got longer, now it was around her ankles and a little tiara appeared on her head.

Fully transformed, she whispered again:

"Angelcake Key!"

A huge key appeared in her hand, but it looked more like a keyshaped staff.

"Reborn Angelcake Burst!"

A huge energy crashed into the rat, which disappeared, with a horrifying scream.

After that, the five girls, who had been knocked out started to stand up.

"Who are you?" asked the pink one.

After a short silence, the girl gave an answer:

"A friend."

And she disappeared.

Alright. Let's count, what's wrong with this story?

1. Describing a character. You don't have to describe a character that long. There are even longer character descriptions out there, but I think everyone can get the point.

Also, try not to make her so perfect and beautiful. That's why Mary-Sues are bad.

2. The original characters. Just because you want to show your OC skills, it does NOT mean, that you have to take away the powers of the original TMM crew.

3. Transformation. Let's start with the name. Angelcake. What's wrong with it? Ooooh, nothing at all, but where is the food reference? Oh sorry, it has the word 'cake' in it? I take it ba- WHAT'S WITH THE ANGEL????? Names like this simply don't fit into the TMM universe. Maybe it sounds good, but think about it.

Transformation sequence. Maybe it's just me, but I find it tiring and boring reading what happens during the transformation. It only works in animation. It's enough if you write down the outcome.

And one more thing. The clothes. Try to be original. It's not good, if the clothes look the same as insert TMM member's name and only the color is different.

4. Animal. As you could see, Mew Angelcake has no animal reference when she is transformed. She has wings, that can be related to no existing animal. Try to find an ENDANGERED animal to fuse your mew with. We want to write a TMM fanfic, right?

5. References. Those who have seen Sailor Moon may find Mew Angelcake's weapon a bit familiar. Yup, it's Pluto's weapon! I've said it already, but I'll say it again: try to be original.

6. OC's power. Try not to make her the most powerful Mew. The fights will get boring eventually, if she shoots one and the Kimera Anima is automatically defeated.

7. Characters during the fight. Remember: there are other characters than your original! Try to leave their own personality and give them "showtime".

8. And finally the ending! The ending I used, is quite popular, but it have been used a lot of time. Try to think up something, that have been never used! Be the first to use YOUR ending!

That's it! Leave your rewiews, and I will continue this cough FANTASTIC story! Oh and I'll show you more how not to write. (sorry about the grammar...)