AN: I haven't been writing for a while, but this little fic has been in my head since I watched the episode. I really miss Elliot, I'm quite sad that he's gone. I love how they're handling Olivia's reaction to it though. This is basically my take on what she's thinking during he talk with Cragen, because she's really silent but expresses her emotions through her face during that scene.
"Elliot's not comin' back, Liv"
The words hit me hard even though I've had a week to let the information sink in. Closing my eyes and composing myself, I turn back around to face the captain. Explaining my rationale for not wanting another rookie, Cragen cuts me off.
"You're going to have to start working with other detectives. Let him go."
That's the problem. I can't let him go that easily. Elliot Stabler is not a switch you can just turn on and off. He's someone I've spent twelve years of my life with, and now he's gone. Sometimes it feels as if he's gone forever-dead,-but then I remember that he isn't. It still hurts though.
"And you can start, by packing up his desk. We can't keep it as a shrine."
Taken back by that comment, I paused again. Is that how I'm viewed? Do people see me as worshiping Elliot? It was never like that. We were partners and so close, we trusted each other with our lives. Not only that, he was, and still is, one of my best friends. It's just so damn difficult not having him by my side in the field, and having to train two rookies is just ridiculous. Looking through the window at Elliot's desk, the one that has been across from mine for over a decade, I know I have to pack it up. No matter how much it bothers me.
Walking over to the desk, I grab a box and set it on the chair. Pulling out old case files I reflect on shared memories. Finding his ID, I open it to see the crappy photo. We had always joked together about how each of our updated photos came out terribly, but he always assured me that I looked great in mine every time. Stroking the photo quickly with my thumb, I shut the ID as to not linger too long. I know Fin is watching and I don't want to let on how much this is really affecting me. Placing the ID in the box, I begin to remove the photographs from his desk. Grabbing one of Elliot holding baby Eli, I stare at it. He was smiling so happily, holding his child that I delivered. There was a strong bond formed between us that day, whether either of us realized it or not. Sighing, I place the picture into the box. Fin walks over, handing me a disorderly conduct report. Now we're on to another case, another victim, another perp, but without Elliot. Without my rock, my partner, my friend. And that's what hurts the most.
Please leave a review if you can, I greatly appreciate it. I always strive to write better, and any and all reviews help. Don't be afraid to tear it apart, it doesn't bother me. Constructive critisism is great! Thank you for reading!
~Rosalyn :)