LOTR MEETS FUTRUAMA
CHAPTER 1: The passing of Denathor.
One day Fry and Bender were playing poker at the Planet Express office when a figure stepped into the doorway. "Get away get away!" screamed Fry in terror. "Shove it Fry! It's only Leela," said Bender. "Oh, hi Leela!" shouted Fry happily. "Get up off your lazy asses you two! We have a delivery to make," said Leela irritably. "Get up off your lazy asses blah blah blah," snickered Bender. "That's an order!" said Leela sternly. "Where are we going anyways," asked Fry as they took off from the loading dock. "Nowhere special, just Middle Earth," replied Leela. "Wait, there's no such thing as Middle Earth. You're full of crap," spat Fry while laughing insanely. "Suit yourself," replied Leela. A few min. later, Bender came into the main control room carrying a pack of beer. "What's with Fry?" asked Bender as he watched Fry twitch on the ground. "He doesn't believe there's a Middle Earth," Leela replied. "What a pimp," said bender while inhaling two bottles of beer.
"We're landing!" called Leela. Fry and Bender came up from their bunk. Fry looked at Leela with puppy eyes. "Where are we?" asked Fry. "Middle Earth," replied Leela. Fry had just then looked out to see a singed field with many ugly creatures on it. "It's so ugly," replied Fry in a daze. "Duh, can't you see their in combat," said Bender. "Enough fooling around, you two have to get this package up to that castle," said Leela while pointing at a once white castle that was now singed with the darkness of war. "But there's lots of enemy people and we could get killed," whimpered Fry. "They can't kill me, I'm a robot," said Bender proudly. "Shut up," said Fry. "Enough just go," said Leela as she shoved them and the package out the door.
Bender and Fry snuck around the battle field to a huge iron gate. Behind them the armies of Mordor wailed in suspense as a huge battering ram was hauled into the wall by monstrous trolls. "Hurry," cried Fry as the huge ram hit the door. Fry grabbed Bender and they stole away into a secret entrance. "That was close!" exclaimed Fry. "Yeah, whatever," replied Bender. Just then a man clothed in white robes ran up to them. "Are you from the delivery service?" asked the man. "Yeah," said Bender. "I need that package right away. The armies of Mordor are closing in around us!" exclaimed the man. "Yeah here," said Bender while sticking a cigar in his mouth. Fry gave the man the package, but the man just stood there gaping at Bender. "What's wrong with you," asked Bender. "You are a metal man," the old man replied. "Yeah so?" asked Bender. "You're an old dude." "Sorry for not introducing myself. I am Gandalf," said the man. "Wassup Gandalf?" asked Fry. "Would you gentlemen mind helping us fight off the armies of Mordor?" asked Gandalf while ignoring Fry's question. "What's in it for us?" asked Bender. "I'm sure King Aragorn would reward you," said Gandalf. "We'll take the job," said Bender intently. Gandalf led Bender and Fry up a corridor into a large circular area. "Where is Lord Denathor?" Gandalf asked one of the guards. "He said he wanted to burn himself like the heathen kings of old. He is taking Faramir with him!" exclaimed the guard" "That fool!" exclaimed Gandalf. "He will burn Faramir alive!" "I got to see this," said Bender in a sneaky voice.
Gandalf jumped onto Shadowfax while Bender and Fry followed on foot into a huge room. They now noticed that a tiny person had climbed onto the back of Gandalf's horse. Shadowfax thrust open the doors of the room with his mighty hooves. Bender and Fry stopped in their tracks as they watched Shadowfax kick the doors open. Two or three guards rushed to stop Gandalf and the little person. Shadowfax whinnied and kicked the guards. Denathor looked up with amazement as Gandalf entered the chamber. "You will not stop me Mithrandir!" He cried as he dumped a pitcher of oil onto his head. The oil dripped onto Faramir causing him to blink. Denathor grabbed a torch from a nearby guard and held it above his head. "No tomb for Denathor and Faramir!" he cried. At that moment Shadowfax reared and kicked Denathor into the already ignited flames around Faramir and Denathor. Denathor screamed in terror. He watched as his son opened his eyes and gazed out at his father. Denathor would not live to see the end of the battle, and with this thought Denathor ran fast and hard down the corridor to the edge of the wall, and there on the battle field fell Denathor in a ball of flame. "There passes Denathor, son of Ecthelian," said Gandalf gravely. "That was the best death scene I have ever seen!" cried Fry. "Shut up pimp. That was pathetic compared to what I can do," replied Bender while smoking a cigar.
Chapter 2: The Paths of the Dead.well sorta.
Aragorn sat up as he heard a sound outside of the cave they had found to sleep in. Ever since they had left Theoden's people Aragorn had been hearing noises. As if some unknown being was following them. He looked around to find Legolas curled up in a corner, his eyes wide awake. It freaked Aragorn out how elves could sleep with their eyes open. It was just plain weird. He suddenly heard a noise again. It wasn't Gimli or Legolas, they were fast asleep. Who was it then? This question flowed through Aragorn's mind. They had lost their horses the day before. This had no comfort on Aragorn's part either. The noise sounded again. This time Aragorn couldn't resist. He grabbed his knife and hurried outside. There in the moonlight stood a figure. "Who-o-o's there?" Aragorn stuttered. "Dude.just let me into the cave," replied the figure. "SShow yourself!" screamed Aragorn. From the moonlight came the figure of a woman. She had purple hair and one eye. "What the?" said Aragorn. "Do you have a problem? Or do I have to beat the words out of you?" she asked impatiently. "I have a question," said Aragorn. "Ok, but it better not be about my eye. Is it about my eye?" she asked. Aragorn shook his head. "Ok," she said nodding her head. "What's with the eye?" asked Aragorn dumbfounded. "I work with idiots," she mumbled to herself. "What's wrong with you?" asked Aragorn. "Nothing," Leela replied stiffly. "Just show me your camp." "Ok. I should also introduce you to my friends," replied Aragorn happily, and with that he trotted off.
Leela looked around the cave. The walls were dark and dense. Aragorn had shown Leela into the cave, but had gone off to find his two other companions. She had been sitting there for at least 10 min. before Aragorn had come back with his two friends. To Leela they looked like a fat ugly guy and a hot tall guy. "These are my friends Gimli and Legolas," said Aragorn. "Nice to meet you," replied Leela as each of them bowed to her. "If I may ask, where are you guys going?" she asked again. "We're going to get the army of the dead to help us kill all the orcs!" exclaimed Gimli. "How far are we from there?" asked Leela impatiently. "About a days walk," replied Legolas thinly. "Keep your spirits up guys, if we leave tonight we can cover more night and get there by morning," said Aragorn while chomping down on a piece of chicken that he pulled out of nowhere. "Where'd you get that chicken Aragorn?" asked Gimli. "Dunno," said Aragorn while stuffing his face. "Well, if you don't mind, I wanna get out of here as soon as possible, so we can take my spaceship," said Leela impatiently. "Whoa! Can we do it Aragorn?! Can we? Please!!" exclaimed Legolas as his eyes brightened up. "Ok, I guess," replied Aragorn with a shrug.
They soon found themselves in the presence of a huge spaceship. Leela signaled for them to get in, and soon they were on their way to the king of the dead's lair. Aragorn got out first and tiptoed into a cavern. The dripping of foul water could be heard as he walked forward. The others followed with scared looks on their face. Leela was out last with her ray gun in hand. She moved silently after the 3 companions. Suddenly the constant drip of water stopped and a huge earthquake shook the cavern. The others broke their balance except for Legolas who was standing up strait with hardened eyes looking toward a burial mount. "What is it?" asked Leela timidly. "The King of the Dead approaches," he replied slowly not taking his eyes off the burial. Aragorn walked up the burial and touched it with his sword. A figure that had not been seen before suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Who enters my domain?" the ghost roared. "One who would hold you to your oath!" exclaimed Aragorn bravely. "The dead do not suffer the living to pass!" the ghost cried again. "Fight for me!" cried Aragorn. "The way is shut, it was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it," the king said in a mocking voice. As he said this more and more ghosts began to appear. "The way is shut," the king said again. Aragorn made the ghosts in his command for he had Anduril, which made him the rightful heir to the thrown of Gondor which he was now king of. The King of the dead would be under his command under one condition: That he set them free when they had fulfilled their oath, and to this Aragorn held.
CHAPTER 1: The passing of Denathor.
One day Fry and Bender were playing poker at the Planet Express office when a figure stepped into the doorway. "Get away get away!" screamed Fry in terror. "Shove it Fry! It's only Leela," said Bender. "Oh, hi Leela!" shouted Fry happily. "Get up off your lazy asses you two! We have a delivery to make," said Leela irritably. "Get up off your lazy asses blah blah blah," snickered Bender. "That's an order!" said Leela sternly. "Where are we going anyways," asked Fry as they took off from the loading dock. "Nowhere special, just Middle Earth," replied Leela. "Wait, there's no such thing as Middle Earth. You're full of crap," spat Fry while laughing insanely. "Suit yourself," replied Leela. A few min. later, Bender came into the main control room carrying a pack of beer. "What's with Fry?" asked Bender as he watched Fry twitch on the ground. "He doesn't believe there's a Middle Earth," Leela replied. "What a pimp," said bender while inhaling two bottles of beer.
"We're landing!" called Leela. Fry and Bender came up from their bunk. Fry looked at Leela with puppy eyes. "Where are we?" asked Fry. "Middle Earth," replied Leela. Fry had just then looked out to see a singed field with many ugly creatures on it. "It's so ugly," replied Fry in a daze. "Duh, can't you see their in combat," said Bender. "Enough fooling around, you two have to get this package up to that castle," said Leela while pointing at a once white castle that was now singed with the darkness of war. "But there's lots of enemy people and we could get killed," whimpered Fry. "They can't kill me, I'm a robot," said Bender proudly. "Shut up," said Fry. "Enough just go," said Leela as she shoved them and the package out the door.
Bender and Fry snuck around the battle field to a huge iron gate. Behind them the armies of Mordor wailed in suspense as a huge battering ram was hauled into the wall by monstrous trolls. "Hurry," cried Fry as the huge ram hit the door. Fry grabbed Bender and they stole away into a secret entrance. "That was close!" exclaimed Fry. "Yeah, whatever," replied Bender. Just then a man clothed in white robes ran up to them. "Are you from the delivery service?" asked the man. "Yeah," said Bender. "I need that package right away. The armies of Mordor are closing in around us!" exclaimed the man. "Yeah here," said Bender while sticking a cigar in his mouth. Fry gave the man the package, but the man just stood there gaping at Bender. "What's wrong with you," asked Bender. "You are a metal man," the old man replied. "Yeah so?" asked Bender. "You're an old dude." "Sorry for not introducing myself. I am Gandalf," said the man. "Wassup Gandalf?" asked Fry. "Would you gentlemen mind helping us fight off the armies of Mordor?" asked Gandalf while ignoring Fry's question. "What's in it for us?" asked Bender. "I'm sure King Aragorn would reward you," said Gandalf. "We'll take the job," said Bender intently. Gandalf led Bender and Fry up a corridor into a large circular area. "Where is Lord Denathor?" Gandalf asked one of the guards. "He said he wanted to burn himself like the heathen kings of old. He is taking Faramir with him!" exclaimed the guard" "That fool!" exclaimed Gandalf. "He will burn Faramir alive!" "I got to see this," said Bender in a sneaky voice.
Gandalf jumped onto Shadowfax while Bender and Fry followed on foot into a huge room. They now noticed that a tiny person had climbed onto the back of Gandalf's horse. Shadowfax thrust open the doors of the room with his mighty hooves. Bender and Fry stopped in their tracks as they watched Shadowfax kick the doors open. Two or three guards rushed to stop Gandalf and the little person. Shadowfax whinnied and kicked the guards. Denathor looked up with amazement as Gandalf entered the chamber. "You will not stop me Mithrandir!" He cried as he dumped a pitcher of oil onto his head. The oil dripped onto Faramir causing him to blink. Denathor grabbed a torch from a nearby guard and held it above his head. "No tomb for Denathor and Faramir!" he cried. At that moment Shadowfax reared and kicked Denathor into the already ignited flames around Faramir and Denathor. Denathor screamed in terror. He watched as his son opened his eyes and gazed out at his father. Denathor would not live to see the end of the battle, and with this thought Denathor ran fast and hard down the corridor to the edge of the wall, and there on the battle field fell Denathor in a ball of flame. "There passes Denathor, son of Ecthelian," said Gandalf gravely. "That was the best death scene I have ever seen!" cried Fry. "Shut up pimp. That was pathetic compared to what I can do," replied Bender while smoking a cigar.
Chapter 2: The Paths of the Dead.well sorta.
Aragorn sat up as he heard a sound outside of the cave they had found to sleep in. Ever since they had left Theoden's people Aragorn had been hearing noises. As if some unknown being was following them. He looked around to find Legolas curled up in a corner, his eyes wide awake. It freaked Aragorn out how elves could sleep with their eyes open. It was just plain weird. He suddenly heard a noise again. It wasn't Gimli or Legolas, they were fast asleep. Who was it then? This question flowed through Aragorn's mind. They had lost their horses the day before. This had no comfort on Aragorn's part either. The noise sounded again. This time Aragorn couldn't resist. He grabbed his knife and hurried outside. There in the moonlight stood a figure. "Who-o-o's there?" Aragorn stuttered. "Dude.just let me into the cave," replied the figure. "SShow yourself!" screamed Aragorn. From the moonlight came the figure of a woman. She had purple hair and one eye. "What the?" said Aragorn. "Do you have a problem? Or do I have to beat the words out of you?" she asked impatiently. "I have a question," said Aragorn. "Ok, but it better not be about my eye. Is it about my eye?" she asked. Aragorn shook his head. "Ok," she said nodding her head. "What's with the eye?" asked Aragorn dumbfounded. "I work with idiots," she mumbled to herself. "What's wrong with you?" asked Aragorn. "Nothing," Leela replied stiffly. "Just show me your camp." "Ok. I should also introduce you to my friends," replied Aragorn happily, and with that he trotted off.
Leela looked around the cave. The walls were dark and dense. Aragorn had shown Leela into the cave, but had gone off to find his two other companions. She had been sitting there for at least 10 min. before Aragorn had come back with his two friends. To Leela they looked like a fat ugly guy and a hot tall guy. "These are my friends Gimli and Legolas," said Aragorn. "Nice to meet you," replied Leela as each of them bowed to her. "If I may ask, where are you guys going?" she asked again. "We're going to get the army of the dead to help us kill all the orcs!" exclaimed Gimli. "How far are we from there?" asked Leela impatiently. "About a days walk," replied Legolas thinly. "Keep your spirits up guys, if we leave tonight we can cover more night and get there by morning," said Aragorn while chomping down on a piece of chicken that he pulled out of nowhere. "Where'd you get that chicken Aragorn?" asked Gimli. "Dunno," said Aragorn while stuffing his face. "Well, if you don't mind, I wanna get out of here as soon as possible, so we can take my spaceship," said Leela impatiently. "Whoa! Can we do it Aragorn?! Can we? Please!!" exclaimed Legolas as his eyes brightened up. "Ok, I guess," replied Aragorn with a shrug.
They soon found themselves in the presence of a huge spaceship. Leela signaled for them to get in, and soon they were on their way to the king of the dead's lair. Aragorn got out first and tiptoed into a cavern. The dripping of foul water could be heard as he walked forward. The others followed with scared looks on their face. Leela was out last with her ray gun in hand. She moved silently after the 3 companions. Suddenly the constant drip of water stopped and a huge earthquake shook the cavern. The others broke their balance except for Legolas who was standing up strait with hardened eyes looking toward a burial mount. "What is it?" asked Leela timidly. "The King of the Dead approaches," he replied slowly not taking his eyes off the burial. Aragorn walked up the burial and touched it with his sword. A figure that had not been seen before suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Who enters my domain?" the ghost roared. "One who would hold you to your oath!" exclaimed Aragorn bravely. "The dead do not suffer the living to pass!" the ghost cried again. "Fight for me!" cried Aragorn. "The way is shut, it was made by those who are dead, and the dead keep it," the king said in a mocking voice. As he said this more and more ghosts began to appear. "The way is shut," the king said again. Aragorn made the ghosts in his command for he had Anduril, which made him the rightful heir to the thrown of Gondor which he was now king of. The King of the dead would be under his command under one condition: That he set them free when they had fulfilled their oath, and to this Aragorn held.