Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter, but I don't.
A/N: This is from Remus's perspective. It never really says so in the story, so I figured I should tell you.
If I had to describe Lily Evans, I'd say she was predictable. Put-together. Confident. Organized.
True, you could anticipate that she'd yell at James and Sirius and stand up for Snape, but there was more to it than that. She left Gryffindor Tower at 6:30 every morning, pale-faced and clad in pajamas. She returned exactly half an hour later with wet hair dampening the shoulders of her robes. She always ate a small breakfast and a small lunch, and then, as if she couldn't help herself, always took seconds at dinner. There were seven equally direct routes from Gryffindor Tower to the Great Hall, but Lily only ever took one.
And she always seemed so focused and in control. No matter what, Lily did her homework every night, never copying or procrastinating. She never zoned out or passed notes during class. And even when she was yelling at James and Sirius or hanging out with her friends, she seemed to be a little more focused and conscious of what she was doing than anyone else was.
No matter how closely you watched Lily, it was impossible to find her weakness. And I was indeed watching. I wasn't stalking her—that was James, not me—but, truth be told, I was jealous. Lily was the only Gryffindor in my year to consistently outdo me academically, and I was curious about how she did it and annoyed that she did.
After three and a half years of watching Lily, I had seen a lot of patterns but absolutely no weaknesses. There were no cracks in her glossy model-student shell, or so it seemed.
Then one day in January of our fourth year, I came unexpectedly upon a sobbing Lily Evans.
It was a shocking experience. Lily was confident, predictable, organized, and put together. She did not cry.
"Lily?" I asked hesitantly. "What's wrong?"
"Go away," she ordered, but it was hard to make out her words through her sobs.
I made a decision. "No." No matter how jealous of her I was and how little she and I had ever talked, I cared about her—if nothing else, she was a fellow Gryffindor, and a bit of a kindred spirit due to our nearly identical report cards and the sacrifices we both made to obtain them. If she had a problem—well, I couldn't just leave her there.
But if I laid a finger on her, James would kill me.
"Go away," she tried again.
"What's wrong?" I countered. Merlin, we both sounded like broken records.
"None of your business."
I felt a surge of compassion. Not only was Lily at least as smart as I was, but she was also at least as resistant to sympathy. I was pretty sure I knew how she felt—which meant I knew how badly she needed what she didn't want to accept. I sat down beside her.
"Lily, I know it's none of my business," I began. "But I think you could do better than to try to handle this alone. You're a wicked-strong girl if I've ever seen them, but it's not a crime to accept a bit of help every now and then. You've been driven to tears, which, as far as I know, doesn't happen often. So this might be a time when you could use some help."
"Remus, I don't want to talk about it," she sobbed.
It was beginning to occur to me that it really was none of my business. "Are you sure?" I asked, checking one last time.
"No," she replied, and, to my great surprise, she collapsed onto my shoulder, crying all over me. I'd never held a girl before, and I hadn't expected Lily to be the first, nor had I thought that the girl would be crying so hard. Nevertheless, I did my best to comfort her, wrapping my arms around her and murmuring reassurances into her hair.
It felt so weird. And Merlin, I was clueless.
After about half an hour, Lily seemed to have more of a grip on herself, and I let her go. She straightened up and swiped at her face with the back of her hand, trying to dry herself off. I decided I had to ask. "Why are you so sad?"
Lily sighed but did not resume sobbing. "Severus, mostly, I guess."
I was surprised. Sure, Snape wasn't the nicest guy, but he was Lily's best friend, and the way she'd always stood up for him had me completely convinced that there was something about him that made him worth defending. "What did he do?"
"I came across him in the hall at the same time some of his Slytherin friends did, and, well, they started calling me 'Mudblood' and stuff, and he didn't do anything. I sought him out later—'cause he usually stands up for me, and it made me mad that he didn't—and he didn't seem to think he'd done anything wrong. We got into an argument, and, well, it didn't really go my way. And he's been my best friend since forever, and none of the Gryffindors really like me, and . . ."
"Plenty of Gryffindors like you," I protested.
"Like who?" she shot back. "Mary thinks I'm okay, I guess, but Marlene and Alice and Dorcas don't. James may ask me out every other day, but he's just trying to annoy me and he'd never actually take an interest in what I say or how I feel about anything. Sirius and Peter and Frank definitely don't give a . . . no, I'm not going to swear, but you know what I mean."
"You're wrong about James," I told her. It was true. He didn't just want to go out with her. He wasn't just interested in her body. He really cared about her.
"Whatever."
"You are."
"I don't care!" she yelled. "I feel like I'm losing my best friend—the only real friend I have—and I don't bloody care what James bloody Potter thinks of me!"
So that was the redhead in her.
"I see your point. But I want you to know, you're not alone."
She sighed. "I guess you've proved that."
"Yeah." Merlin, this was awkward.
"Um, thanks."
"You're welcome."
"Well, see you around?" Lily asked, standing and wiping away her last few tears. "I should probably get to studying for that History of Magic test."
"Yeah, me too," I agreed, also standing. "See you around."
A/N: Reviews and favorites are lovely!