A/N This story is written using the old League Lore, for obvious reasons. Most importantly, the complete non-existence of the new lore. Please enjoy and leave a review!

Life in the Institute of War was a lot like life in the military: about 95% a combination of training or doing nothing, and 5% hectic spurts of intense violence. At least in the army, though, you knew when you were going to fight. Here at the Institute of War, you could be plucked out of anywhere without warning if you were summoned for a match. After several months of living here, I still wasn't quite used to that.

I sat up in my bed, rubbing at my eyes. At least they usually don't have matches at night, I thought idly. A glance through the window confirmed what my body already knew, it was still very early in the morning. The sun hadn't even begun to rise yet, but I could tell it was close. Years of being the posterboy for the Noxian military really sets your routine in stone, apparently. Not that there was anything to do once I got up.

With an explosive sigh, I flopped back down on my back and closed my eyes again.

No dreams today, at least.

That relieved me, maybe it finally meant the terrible sights plaguing me for months would be leaving me soon. The images of burning bodies, the stench of death all around me as Noxian and Ionian alike died in agony.

I shook my head abruptly to clear the images; dwelling on the past wasn't going to make it go away. Despite my best efforts, however, I couldn't quite stop the recollections. I never could, completely. I got up mechanically, and walked over to the basin under the mirror and splashed some water in my face. The sudden stimulation sharpened my mind, and the last vestiges of sleep drained out of me. Opening my eyes, I glared into the mirror. My own crimson eyes glared right back, contrasting sharply with the white hair still loosely pulled up at the back of my head.

Get a grip. I told myself. You aren't there anymore, you're not even a Noxian anymore. You can't do anything to change what happened that day. And nothing to bring back the people I murdered or the comrades that burned.

I leaned my head against the mirror, and fell into memory once more.

I could see it clearly now, of course. The so called "great war" of Noxus, sending its army to conquer the bordering provinces of Ionia. There was nothing great about any of it. They had hardly had any appreciable military, and barely put up a resistance. Yet I still cut them down dispassionately, following my orders to the letter. Men, women, anyone who dared resist the "might" of the Noxian war machine.

Now I knew that the strength I had thought I had possessed was nothing of the sort. There was no strength in anything that happened during that massacre. And it all ended just as horribly: with the complete destruction of everyone in my command in a rain of chemical death. I had thoroughly embraced the Noxian ideals, which made the blow all the more painful. "Strength is all that matters." Simple, yet undeniably eloquent. Yet Noxus betrayed me. Betrayed all of us there when they bombarded friend and foe alike, burning everyone. Where was the strength in that? That was cowardice, and it was abandonment. The city I had devoted my entire life to, threw me aside without a second thought. All the years I devoted to training, all the lives I took, all of it for a farce.

Noxus had gone astray; I knew it then with certainty as I witnessed the carnage around me. They are no longer lead by the strong. The Noxus I once served so proudly, that I had honed my real strength for before the Ionian invasion, was diseased. I had had doubts before, yet now I knew. I had wanted to believe our conquest was glorious and righteous. Victory through true strength is honorable, after all. I convinced myself that this was strength, that I was leading the Noxian armies to glorious victory, not massacring a fleeing resistance, not killing innocents.

The day after I had escaped the bombardment, I returned to survey the carnage. I couldn't shake the feeling that none of it had been real. It couldn't have been. Yet there it was: thousands of dead and mutilated bodies. No survivors.

I was lost. My city abandoned me, and abandoned the ideal I had clung to my entire life as I clawed my way out of the gutter. I resolved then to cut all ties with the monster I had been ignoring.

With one thought in mind, I walked towards a large boulder at the edge of the destruction.

I must atone.

With a swift motion, I drew my sword. It was a massive weapon, imbued with sorcery and heavier than a tower shield. Without even a glance at it, I smashed it against the stone. There was a sound like a thunderbolt, and the blade shattered, exploding into fragments. Turning away, I strode numbly from the scene.

I must once more find strength. Find the true spirit of Noxus, if it still exists in this land.

I stopped, and surveyed the dead one final time.

And, I must find redemption.

A shaft of light slipped through the window beside me, bringing me back to the present. It was time to begin my training. These days I wasn't even sure what I was training for, but I supposed that my habits were so deeply engrained in me I wouldn't have been able to stop even if I'd wanted to. As it was, the only times I could fully distract myself from intrusive memories was when I was practicing with my blade. I strode over to my dresser and quickly donned my usual attire, just some simple but durable cloth wrappings and tough pants. Then I picked up my blade, propped it on my shoulder and walked out of the door.

This early in the morning, the independent champion's wing of the dormitories was quite empty. That was fine by me, I preferred solitude anyway. I quietly strode through the halls, across a courtyard, and into the main building. Here, I knew, there were training rooms for any champion to use. They weren't very elaborate, but they provided a place in which I would not be disturbed. For me, that was enough.

The training room was spacious and circular, with a tall ceiling and numerous training dummies already setup for practice. As I stepped in and closed the door behind me I exhaled long and deep, letting all thoughts flow out of me until there were no distractions in me. Once I had achieved an appropriate level of focus, I readied my shattered sword and began the first part of my standard regime. It was mind numbing, tiring work, but that was what I needed.

I didn't take any breaks that morning, but rather kept up an intense pace that left me exhausted after only an hour had passed. Panting, I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes. As I'd hoped, training had made me feel at least marginally better. My previous depression had receded into something resembling a sense of calm. Happiness was a stranger to me these days, but this was closer to the norm for me now. Every day I trained my body and mind out of pure habit, every day I yearned for direction in my life. I was an exile from Noxus, and though I sought atonement for my crimes I knew the Ionians would never forgive me for the terrors I wrought upon their land. I had nowhere to go, and nothing to do but live my life day by day.

I was too tired to continue training at the moment, and with nothing better to do I decided to eat something in the main hall. Normally I planned my schedule around when few others were present, but due to my decision to cut training short today I found myself walking into the hall at just about the primetime for breakfast. Upon seeing the hubbub around the entrance, I briefly considered just leaving and coming back later. My stomach won out, however, and so I decided press on.

I managed to slip relatively unnoticed through the conversing crowd of summoners and champions to grab some fruit, and had just started making my way to a small table at the corner of the room when my attention was drawn to a growing crowd of people gathered around the newsstand. I usually didn't pay attention to the goings on of Valoran these days, but something about the scene made me curious. So I put down my belongings at my usual corner table and walked quickly to the kiosk, acutely aware of the stares I was beginning to draw.

Do they all have to gawk at me like that? You'd think they'd never seen me before. It's not that unusual for me to be here.

Despite my silent protests, however, the stares continued to track me across the room. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable, so I grabbed a newspaper quickly and made my way back to my seat. Fortunately, no one spoke up as I passed, and I made it back to my belongings without incident.

I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Dealing with other champions and the summoners wasn't something I took any pleasure in. I was rarely in the mood to speak to anyone, and my isolationism had quickly alienated me. Not that I minded, I had lost too many comrades to ever want to try to make anything more than superficial connections with anyone anyway. And even if I had been interested in meeting people, an exile with my past would have been scorned without second thought.

That was probably what all the stares were about, I considered dully, people are just wondering what a mass murderer is doing, showing her face around everyone.

I forced myself to stop, self-loathing wasn't going to make anything better. To distract myself from my bitter thoughts, I glanced down at the newspaper I was still holding.

My blood froze as I read the headline.

Ionian village burns under renewed Noxian aggression.

I felt hopelessness well up inside me. Things were just getting worse, Noxus was falling further and further from the ideals I had proudly followed and now more Ionian innocents were dying. I rested my head on the table, unable even to maintain my normal non-expression. I sat like that for several minutes, unmoving, mourning my inability to do anything.

Anger began rapidly replacing my initial depression, along with a feeling unfamiliar due to its long absence: Resolve. I would not let this happen. This time, I would make things right. Scanning the article quickly, it was without surprise I learned that the head of Noxian high command, Swain, had orchestrated what he apparently called the "removal of rebel forces" that had been "preparing to strike at Noxus."

I knew Swain to be a despicable man. Moreover, he was here at the league. This was an opportunity. I picked up my sword and made to stand up, fully intending to kill the man as soon as I laid eyes on him. My progress was stopped, however, by a voice beside me.

"Riven, isn't it? I almost never see you in here."

It was a girl's voice, and I was tempted to just ignore it. However, even I maintained the common decency of responding when someone addressed me directly. So it was with a suppressed sigh of impatience that I turned to face my unwelcome guest.

"Yes, do you need something?"

She was young, armored and obviously a mage of some sort. I think I remembered that her name was Lux, though what business a Demacian could possibly have with me I didn't know.

She frowned a little at my dismissive response.

"I just wanted to talk to you, I haven't seen you around much before and I make it a point to get to know all the champions I can. May I sit?"

This time she flashed a smile. Her carefree attitude caught me a bit off guard, and despite my newfound resolve to find and kill Swain and anyone else that had condoned the most recent attack on Ionia I couldn't bring myself to send her packing immediately. As antisocial as I was, I wasn't that rude. Swain could wait for a few moments.

So it was with another sigh that I sat back down and gestured at the seat across from me. Lux hopped into it instantly, with an agility that surprised me. She then proceeded to lean across the table, prop her head on her arms and scrutinize me.

"Well?" I asked curtly.

Her stare was somewhat disconcerting; I felt like it was piercing through me and fought the urge to look away.

"Ah sorry! I've been told I space out sometimes." She giggled a bit and her face returned to its previous cheery expression.

"Anyway, I've been meaning to talk to you for a while but you're never around. I'd like to know more about you. I've talked to everyone here at least once, even Cho'gath. Except for you."

"You've spoken with Cho'gath?" I asked before I could stop myself. That monster was terrifying, and despite my desire to end the conversation and get going I was morbidly fascinated. Apparently, this teenage girl had more to her than first seemed.

"Yes, and he's quite well spoken, actually." She waved a hand as if brushing my question aside. "I can tell you about that some other time, if you'd like. Anyway, would you mind telling me a bit about yourself? I've heard interesting rumors, but with rumors being worth about one gold for a wagon full I'd rather have a conversation with you. "

She emphasized her last point by pointing a finger at me, which came so close to my face that I instinctively leaned away.

What a forceful and direct person. I thought. Going along with her seems like the fastest way to end this conversation though, it doesn't seem like she'll take no for an answer.

"Fine, I'll speak with you for a little. Then I have to go, I'm in a hurry, alright?"

She nodded.

"Very well. I'm an ex-Noxian, I fought in the Ionian wars, and now I'm a champion in the League." I got up and turned away. "Now, if you'll excuse-."

She grabbed my arm and pulled me down, looking annoyed. "What kind of conversation was that?"

"You spoke, and I answered. I have fulfilled my obligation."

"Don't be so literal!" Lux looked at me reproachfully. "Come on, talk with me for a little. It won't kill you."

Does she enjoy being annoying? I wondered. At least, she's quite good at it.

"Fine." I continued, trying to think of what to tell her. I decided not to hide anything, it's not like any of it was secret.

"I was born a Noxian, and joined the military at a young age. I fought many battles and rose in rank until the Noxian command gave me this sword."

I held it up briefly, and Lux examined it.

"To make a long story short, I blindly followed orders that instructed me to kill many innocent people in the Ionian war. Then, when my unit was surrounded by the enemy, instead of assisting us the Noxian commanders ordered chemical bombardment on our position. I was the only survivor."

I was speaking dispassionately, as if recounting the events of a stranger. But I felt the familiar hurt in my chest as I went on.

"Noxus betrayed us. Though really that had happened long before, when they started ordering us to kill civilians. But still, I followed my orders, so I'm as much a monster as the ones who commanded."

My voice began to waver, just a little bit. I got it under control quickly, and Lux made no reaction. She was still staring at me intently.

"After realizing this, and realizing that the Noxus whose ideals I had followed my whole life didn't exist anymore, I shattered my sword and became an exile. Now, I seek atonement for those actions."

Lux looked at my sword, now on the table, and then back at me. "Really? You don't look like a bad person to me."

I laughed a little at that. It was a bitter laugh, but still the first one I'd voiced in recent memory. The sound felt unnatural coming from me.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but what I said was true." I paused, and then voiced aloud my thoughts before I could stop myself. "I thought you'd be more judgmental, I just admitted taking part in the Ionian massacres."

"Well..." She appeared to choose her words with care, this time. "Look, I'm not going to say what you did wasn't bad. With that said, the Noxian military executes those who disobey orders, or even those who show reluctance to follow them. And I can see on your face how much you regret it."

"What do you mean?" I asked, for I hadn't been aware of letting slip any meaningful expressions. I wasn't going to show weakness to a Demacian, even now. Even as my chest tightened once more in the renewed recollection.

Lux's expression grew soft, and she just pointed at my face. Confused, I reached up with my hand, it came away wet. With a shock I realized I was crying, I hadn't even noticed. I quickly wiped my face clean and blinked a few times, ashamed of myself.

"It takes strength to admit when you're wrong Riven, and I can see your conviction." Lux continued, moving to meet my gaze even as I tried to turn away. "You aren't the monster you think you are."

I'm being lectured about strength by a Demacian. I thought dully. Not that I can talk, after what I've done in the name of strength.

I exhaled long and slowly. "Look, Lux, I appreciate you saying that." What surprised me was that I actually did. "But I can never fully redeem myself. Not after what I've done."

"Maybe not, but the fact that your trying anyway says a lot." She grinned, seemingly oblivious to the weight of the conversation. "You may surprise yourself."

I raised my eyebrows a bit. "You're awfully sure of yourself." She just kept grinning, and I sighed yet again. "Well, I have to be going now."

"Where could you possibly be in such a hurry to go this early in the day?"

I hesitated, but something made me want to confide in her despite my reservations. It was probably because I'd been alone for so long.

"I'm going to kill Swain." I finally said.

She stared at me blankly for a moment, and then nodded. "I don't blame you for wanting to, especially after the news today. But you know league champions are forbidden from attacking each other inside the Institute, right?"

"So? I should have done this a long time ago. That man is evil; he started the corruption of Noxus when he became a part of High Command, and now he's back to killing innocent people. We can't wait for the Institute to act. Even if they're going to do something, which I doubt they will anytime soon, it will be too late. I cannot allow Ionia to suffer any more, just as I cannot stand by and watch as Noxus decays."

I was done waiting. What had I been doing these past months? Wallowing in self-pity? It was time to act.

"I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it." Lux lowered her voice, though no one was nearby. "But you can't just walk over to the Noxian wing and stab him. What about all the other Noxians? Or for that matter, the power inhibitors in the Institute?"

"Ah…" I'd completely forgotten about the inhibitors. My own abilities were vastly reduced inside these halls.

"And moreover," she continued, "even if you did kill him, would that change anything? He's hand-picked his High Command, someone just as bad would take his place."

"Why are you so against this? Don't Demacians hate Noxians anyway?" I snapped back. But it was reflexive; I knew she was speaking sense. But my urge to do something was just getting stronger, and I was frustrated at her lack of helpfulness. "I don't suppose you have any bright ideas."

She giggled at that.

"What?" I growled. She was starting to make me mad, didn't she ever take anything seriously?

"Bright ideas? Come on Riven, I'm a light mage!" She laughed again at her pun.

I groaned and put my head back on the table.

I can't believe this girl, I thought, she's completely crazy.

"Alright, look." Lux said, her mirth apparently having subsided. "You're on the right track, but you aren't thinking big enough."

"What're you talking about? And why are you helping me anyway? We just met 5 minutes ago."

"Because I've taken a liking to you. But more importantly, because you're absolutely right." Her expression grew serious for the first time. "We have to do something, and we can't wait for the Institute to step in. They're too scared of starting another rune war to do anything."

"Well, didn't you just say killing Swain won't help anything?" I asked.

"I did. What Noxus needs isn't a leadership change. It's a revolution. And you-" she pointed at me again "are going to lead it."

I stared at her blankly for several seconds.

"You're insane." I concluded "Absolutely insane. There's no way that would work. You need people for a revolution. And me lead it? I'm not even a Noxian!"

I exclaimed the last part a bit louder than I'd meant to, and lowered my voice before I continued. "It's impossible."

"I admit it will be difficult, but what other choice is there? Anyway, I have a feeling more people feel like you do than you believe." She winked knowingly, "I think people would follow you. Given your history with Noxus, you'd have a lot of pull. And what better way to redeem yourself than to overthrow the government that started the war with Ionia?"

She really did have it all planned out, I was a little impressed despite myself.

"And then what? Because if you expect me to lead this 'newly reformed' Noxus, you're out of luck. I'm not a leader."

"We can cross that bridge if we get that far. Don't worry, I'll be here to help! I want a reformed Noxus as much as you."

She paused, and then gave me that same serious look again "This cannot go on."

"How do I know I can trust you? You're being awfully helpful for a Demacian."

"That's rude." She pouted, "But I guess you'll have to take my word for it, since I can't prove to you I'm sincere. What other motives could I have? I just want to stop innocent people from dying, and my government doesn't have the balls to do anything about it either."

Her vehement tone took me by surprise. "I thought you'd be more patriotic, aren't you in the military?" I asked.

"I was born into it, as was my brother. Conscripted at the age of 12, more or less. I was made into an elite, but really I'm just supposed to do what I'm told." She shrugged, "Which I do, unless I disagree with what I'm told to do. I do what I think is the right thing. You'll just have to take my word for it."

I considered her long and carefully, and the background noise of the main hall filled my ears once more. Champions and summoners chatted, argued and laughed behind us as Lux and I gazed at each other in silence.

Finally, I answered. "I'll consider it."

She beamed at me. "Bright decision! I'll be in touch soon."

Without a backwards glance, she got up and walked over to the Demacian table. I watched her sit down next to Garen and start chatting, like she had just gotten back from a casual stroll across the room.

What, I wondered, have I gotten myself into?

A/N: Please write a review! I welcome feedback and would like to know what the readers think.