I dont own Naruto.
To You,
I don't know what it is, or why it threw you off so much, but the change you're going through is quite evident to me.
We argue, and we do it a lot. Nobody can rile me up as much as you can, but you know that.
On one hand our bickering brings a smile to my face, because it means that you've gotten truly comfortable around me. On the other hand it's disconcerting. You're hurting and I would rather hug you than engage in a verbal battle. But I won't back down and let you have your way. I won't because I can't.
And I can't because I'm afraid.
Because I know that what you admire in me most is the fact that I stand behind my words, and that I'm not afraid to voice my opinion. That I never let anyone walk over me. Especially not you.
So, you see? I can't back down.
If I do, I'll lose your respect. And if I lose your respect, I lose you. And the thought of that scares the out of me. Which by itself is terrifying on a whole new level. Feeling for another person with such intensity can't be normal.
You're angry, frustrated, confused, and there is something in the air around me that appears to really tick you off. There are times when I deserve your harsh words. And when I don't I forgive you all the same because I know that you try not to lash out on me when I'm not the source of your agitation.
Because you're afraid too. I can tell. You're afraid that I'll get fed up with your outbursts and leave. Just like you're afraid that I'll get bored of your silent days, when you seem to be locked up in your own world and can barely communicate with me.
It's actually laughable, these fears of yours. Because your hot temper attracts me as much as your silences intrigue me.
I would never leave you.
You're embarrassed of so many little things that I find completely and utterly adorable. So you laugh and don't believe me when I tell you that the way you stick your tongue out of the corner of your mouth when you read is cute.
I'll never understand why you dislike these little habits of yours so much; what I absolutely hate is how you stopped looking people in the eyes.
Stopped looking into my eyes. Just because some found it to be unnerving and couldn't hold your gaze, making you feel like there is something wrong with you, when there isn't. There isn't. It's intense, but mesmerizingly beautiful at the same time. How you can look into a person and make them feel like they're the sole center of your attention. Like you can see every little trouble stored in their hearts and are willing to give a hand. Make them believe that they deserve your help, are entitled to it.
Yes, you do have faults, we all do. But you beat yourself up for yours way more than you should. They don't make you weak, they make you real.
You're incredibly strong and have an amazing confidence in your abilities. And despite all that you don't have enough confidence to believe that you can be wanted. Can be desired. Can be loved. You don't think you deserve it. Love that is. That you're not worthy of it. But people love you. Your family, your friends… Me.
I love you.
And I wonder what happened to convince you that you're not worthy of anyone's love. Not worthy of my love. But I do love you. You say that you don't need it, that caring for others is enough. But you do need it. Like the way you need to be held. Even though, you keep claiming otherwise.
Even if I pretend to believe you, I can't pretend that I don't need it. I need to hold you: I need to be able to tell you that I'm madly in love with you.
I love you.
But despite feeling like I might burst if I don't say it, I keep quiet. Because if I did tell you that my feelings run deep, much deeper than those of a friend, you wouldn't believe me.
At first you'd laugh, you'd tell me that you love me too. Then I'd tell you that I really do love you, and you'd scold me and tell me not to joke around with things like that. When I'd repeat myself, tell you that I'm serious, you'd either call me a liar or try to convince me that I don't know what I'm feeling. That it's just a silly infatuation that will go away soon enough. Because I cannot love you. Not really. Not you. How could I possibly?
And I'd tell you that it's simple. That you are so easy to love.
By now you'd be asking me to stop, to just shut up and not mention it again, to stop lying to you. And that's why I'm writing this. Because I can't tell you, but I have to let it out.
I love you!
I can't even keep it hidden anymore. I catch myself staring at you like a love struck puppy, or glaring at your male friends who take the liberty to touch you whenever they can while jealousy flares like a fire in my chest.
But I'm a persistent guy. I won't give up on you. I won't give up because I love you. And because I know that I am more to you than just a friend, even if you yourself don't know that yet.
I'll make you believe me. I'll prove to you that I truly love you. One day, not far from now I'll say those three words.
I love you.
And then, I'll never stop repeating them.
Always Yours
Please share your opinion, I´d love to know what you think about this. And I don't know if the rating on this story is correct so if you think that I should change it tell me.
A huge thank you to gare de lyon, who helped me out with this. Go check out her stuff, its pretty amazing.