A/N: Hey, this is my first SVU fic, it's only a vignette. I hope it isn't too confusing, but there is some foreshadowing in it. Review and tell me what you think.
Your skin, the only reason I touched. Your love, the only reason I came here. The way your body struck the bed, left me in pure ecstasy. The rush went straight from my skin, through my body. Your fingertips, intricate yet unadorned with curiosity and unspoiled by your placid, mellow ways. Your eyes deep, and restless; fiery with passion. Your skin, golden yet austere and impervious.
Your grasp, I reach for. Your body, I long for. Your tempting spirit, soars through your shell. You stop; and avoid my eyes. You look lonely, and inside you wonder if I'm watching you. Shame runs through you like a cold wind; leaving that sickening feeling in your stomach. I console, yet you don't want sympathy. I look for your hand, but the door seems more inviting. This silence feels like hours; you don't even know I'm here.
You hide, under your blanket of humiliation and shame. It's not your fault, not these feelings. A tear descends down your cheek like a falling angel. Your warm body, turns to a cold corpse. Your eyes turn gray; your touch, like concrete…You probably don't even know I'm gone.
Walking down this sidewalk never felt more uncomfortable. Everything moves slowly. I'm walking somewhere, could be anywhere for all I care. I haven't broke so many rules in one day. Do you think that they're going to care? Frankly, I don't. How long have I been thinking about you, driving myself crazy over my obsession? I'm here already. Was it too fast, too much, too soon? I'll never understand what went wrong…
That familiar voice rings through my ear like an out of tune bell. She calls for me in her sleep, and I dread the sight of her face; as beautiful as it is. She awakes, and cries when I don't answer. I've been here for years, but it's only now I wish I never left. Why this double life? I made one mistake before, but this was over the line. I broke a promise, and lost her trust; even though she doesn't blame me for it. But she cries every night. Thinking about her reminds me of you; and thinking of you brings me sadness.
I didn't want to leave. But I'm actually getting to like this place. If you wonder if I suffered, no, I didn't feel a thing. The pain only surfaces now and again, when I realize the pain I've caused to my family and to you. I detest not talking to you, not hearing you laugh, or watch you put your hair behind your ear. You will never know how much I think about you; and how much I miss her and the kids as well. I'm sorry I broke my promise, it was a lucky shot for that prick. He might have got my heart, but he didn't break it.
You're my best friend, even after death. One thing I ask of you and of her is to please think of me; I won't forget about you.