ABOUT THESE FICS: Ugh, so this originally started as a 25 day countdown to the season premiere on tumblr but I had to leave tumblr and now I'm really unwell so it couldn't be updated daily, I've now changed the title and will continue publishing short drabbles whenever I get ideas for them.
Notes: Set a few weeks after Prentiss's "death" in 6.18, Lauren. Spoilers for that episode I guess. Obviously, Reid still thinks she is dead at this point.
Emily,
To be frank, I don't know why I'm writing this letter at all. JJ said that perhaps, writing to you will help me cope with my "loss". But although there are statistics to prove that writing your feelings down can reduce anxiety and stress levels, I don't see how writing specifically to you is going to be of any use, considering that you will never be able to read this. I may as well try, though.
Either way, I've been missing you a lot, lately. The first week after we buried you was difficult, but it wasn't until last week that I really noticed your absence. Often I find that there are things that I want to tell you, that only you and I would understand, but I can't. I've picked up the phone and dialled your number twice now, both times hearing your voicemail before realising that it wasn't going to get me anywhere. You'd think that for someone with an eidetic memory, surely I could remember something as big as the death of one of my best friends, but for some reason it just escapes me. Perhaps it's because I don't want to accept that this time, you're not coming back.
The bullpen is certainly a lot quieter since we returned to work, but I'm not entirely sure whether that's just because you're not there, or rather because everybody seems to have a melancholic aura surrounding them. I haven't seen Hotch like this since Haley died, and while Morgan is trying to carry on like normal, it's obvious that he blames himself for what happened.
Also… just so that I can get this off my chest, I find that, well, I'm a little mad at you. I just don't understand why you couldn't have just told us what was going on. I know that you were trying to protect us, but I wish you'd just told us the truth. We could've helped, you know, maybe it would have turned out differently.
I miss you, Emily.
- Spencer