Hey Everyone this is a one shot about Adrians own torment after Rose left him.

Her thorns were sharper than any Knife.

Adrian

'There he stands in all his might, his head held high and his shoulders broad. For all he knew he had won the fight but what he failed to perceive was this was not a battle, but a war.'

Dear God! This is what that woman has turned me into! I stared at the page full of scrawling and writings of my 'feelings' Lissa thought it would help... I don't know I think it's making me seem more crazy than usual... Damn that amazing woman for making me love her! How dare she break me like this? Bullocks!

Rose. The only thing I couldn't think about and the only thing I could think about. The goddess of my dreams snatched away by the villain of my nightmares. It didn't seem fair somehow; that I had to work so hard to reach her but seem to fall harder than anyone when I realized my goddess was already taken.

Still she seemed to haunt me everywhere I looked. I couldn't even walk out the door without seeing her presence somewhere, her perfume in the air or her name flying around on the whisper of the local gossips. There was no denying it, I was broken and nothing could help me... Nothing, not even alcohol because even then I would be thinking, what would Rose say if she saw me now?

Not that I should care what she thought, what she did or who she did for that matter but like every other addictive substance I've ever taken, it's just not that easy to let go of.

And that's exactly what Rose was, a drug or alcohol. Something I loved something that made me feel on top of the world, something I had become addicted to and something that left me broken and full of pain when it left.

I couldn't bare it, not one moment of it. To think I had lost the most precious thing to me to some Russian prick that had caused her so much pain that without me she would have crumpled and ceased to exist... But yet she forgave him with open arms at first chance. How could she do that? After everything he'd done to her, after all the times he'd broken her she just forgave him.

That's not the bit I have nightmares over though, oh no, that's something much worse. The worst part about this whole situation was that fact I didn't see it. The fact I couldn't see she was still madly in love with him even when she swore she loved me, how she'd gone behind my back and cheated on me. Now I know I'm not one to talk about cheating but I'd changed when I met Rose, I swore I'd be everything for her and what do I get in return? I got a great big fucking Russian knife stuck in my heart clawing out my soul.

Its wrong to blame him, I mean how could I? In his situation I would have done the exact same thing. No I blame myself; I mean I can't even blame Rose for crying out loud! I was just too stupid to realize that I wasn't good enough for her. With all my vices how could I expect to be?

No Rose deserved him and him her... But what about me? What do I deserve? Is this really karma coming to bite me on the ass? No. This was the devil not karma. No one deserved this much pain, I wouldn't wish it on my greatest enemy, which just so happens to be my reason for the pain anyway... Stupid mother fucking cradle robber.

I could feel myself getting worked up, I could feel the uncontrollable darkness spreading its way through my system biting at every insecurity and wound. Damn spirit. As if I don't have enough to worry about... Looks like a need a bit of fresh air... A.K.A cigarettes.

I get up from my comfortable leather sofa and head for my door, manoeuvring around obstacles of mess and filth which lay strewn across the floor of the courts guest housing. I felt quite ninja making it almost to the door without tripping over some dangerous object. I had almost reached the door when a slight snore reminded me I wasn't alone, it reminded me that less that 6 ft away lay a beautiful, sleeping, very naked blonde. Hey don't judge, people deal with heartbreak differently...
Chocolate
Work addiction
Strigoi slaying
Me? Alcohol; smoking; and getting laid.

Yeah yeah, not that usual from my regular routine but hell I've been trapped in this state of constant heartbreak ever since I met Rose... Why changed anything now?

What I would do for it to be her in that bed.

Adrian for god sakes pull yourself together and get that whore out your bed so you can go and have a bloody cigarette!

I sulked over to the bed and shook then random girl... umm... Maisy... awake hoping to get this over with soon before my heart decided to jump out my chest and run away screaming from pain and torment.

"Maisy or Daisy or whoever the hell you are, get out of my bed, my room, my life... Now would be good. I don't have time for your bullshit..." Nice one Adrian.

"Excuse me? What the hell did you just say to me? You know Adrian I thought you were the one guy out there who'd think that maybe I deserved some respect and maybe a chance, I thought you cared. Too bad you're a heartless coward! Ugh!" She jumped up from my bed glaring at me, it's amazing how someone so beautiful could be so evil looking, and then again I knew someone more beautiful who could scare away a whole army of Strigoi with one glare...

There she was again, popping into my head at every random moment, it didn't take much for me to think of her but it took all my force to forget about her. I still hadn't found the strength to force her scar, which lay in my heart, closed. Maybe I never will... quick cigarettes I'm falling into depression and quickly.

While I'd been having a mental melt down in my head Maisy/Daisy had already stormed out of my apartment and probably screaming about how terrible I am, wouldn't be the first and probably not the last, just as long as there is alcohol there will be stroppy women running from my door.

Most people would call this their dream; I call it a nightmare, one I can't get out of.

Man its cold. How did I end up outside? I stare around confused until I focus on something soft and warm in my hands, a cigarette. Oh that's right I had walked out here wanting a cigarette. Looks like another lapse in memory, that's the second time today. Oh well, what can you do? Ever since Rose left and started haunting my every move I find myself walking round in a kind of zombie mood, actually it's more like a stoned mood where everything just passes me by and I take no notice. I move more on instinct than choice and I hardly remember anything anymore, whether that's due to mental instability or alcohol I will never know but either way its keeps her face away, the most beautiful face that lingers behind my eyelids, that creates Goosebumps on my arms and an aching pain in my chest that is sometimes so unbearable no alcohol or drugs can keep it at bay.

I'm falling apart, already dead inside, waiting for my body to die as well. That woman saved me and killed me, my angel and devil but yet I can't help but love her, and I can't help but not blame her either. I was too weak to stupid to see what was there all along and now my only reason for sanity has left and I hope that soon my karma and pain will catch up with me and finish the job she started. Death would be better, easier than this.

I welcome death with open arms,

With his evil smile and devilish charms.

I see the white light the songs from above,

The Angels they smile their hearts full of love.

Oh how I wish to be there rather than here,

The pain she has caused is too much to endear.

The pain it sores where my heart used to be,

Full of sorrow and hurt it's just so plain to see.

She's left me broken and on the cliff of death,

My heart will keep beating her name until my last breath.

My heart will keep beating and I will keep fighting. She can save me and that will be the only way to live through this. I will make myself a better man for her and one day maybe she will tell me she loves me and I will be able to move on to either a new face, a new heart or a new realm. Either way I shall be in peace.

Please review this wanna know what you think. Might keep it a one shot... counts how much i interest i get in this... so review, like, do what ever it is you do! :) !