My (Rizzles FF)

Jane POV

They say when you stare death in the face your life flashes before your eyes. That when you look the grim reaper in the eye you recount your lives worth. When you stare down the barrel of a gun you should sense the near definite loss. Except when I did stare down the barrel of that gun all I saw was Maura, my Maura. I mean my best friend.

All I saw, all I heard, all I understood was Maura. Her gut-wrenching cry, the look of terror and grief that etched her beautiful face.

What flashed before my eyes was Maura- shouldn't that have prompt me to tell her, before it was too late?

Maura POV

"Jane! Jane!" No no no this isn't happening not to Jane, NO! "Please don't!" two shots fired in quick succession.

Before I could register that one of those shots was from Detective Frost gunning the perp down I was down by her side, hovering above the pale shaking body of my Jane. I mean my best friend.

My fearless, stupid idiot best friend! She knew he was a flight risk, she knew he was armed. Where the hell was her vest?

"Don't you dare do this to me Jane, you hear me!" I pleaded as she stared helplessly at me while I applied pressure to the wound above her chest.

"Don't you dare! I need you ok. I can't live without you! You're my Jane! We are Jane and Maura! We are Rizzoli and Isles! You made me feel! You brought to life the queen of the dead! You gave me a real family! Goddamn it Jane, stay with me!"

"M…Ma...Maura…m'sorry…I lov….my Maur"

"No Jane no. You do not get to die on me! You do not get to be this selfish! Hold on the EMTs are almost here sweet girl!" Jane took a sharp laboured breath and began to close her eyes on me as the sirens drew closer.

"Jane open your eyes, look at me! Pleases Jane look at me!" I could see her fighting consciousness below me her eyes pulling in and out of focus. I knew this could be it she was dying on me. My Jane. Oh, why am I kidding myself, the love of my life was dying and she didn't even know!

"Jane, Jane please stay with me," she locked eyes with me and I knew then that this was my last chance, "Jane, hey, hey you'll be alright, ok, you're going to be fine. You know how I know that? Huh Jay?"

"h…h…how Maur?"

"Because I love you. Yeah, I do Jay! I love you! Like the big one, like give you my last fudge cluster, make a guess for you, wear shoes in my yoga room love you. So, you can't die, you hear me! You. Can. Not. Die. Because I'm so in love with you Jane Clementine Rizzoli and I need you to live. I need you to live so that you can tell me how stupid I am for falling in love with my best friend who doesn't feel the same way!"

"Maur…I…. too" she closed her eyes.

"Jay? Jane? JANE!"

That was the last I remember before it went black.

Jane POV

A heavy weight pressed against my hand and chest. And why did my mouth feel like it was full of cotton wool? But that smell, I know that smell. Her smell. This must be heaven, if I can smell Maura it must be heaven. No, it couldn't be because heaven wouldn't tempt me with her smell and leave me yearning for the rest of her. Ouch, the fuck? That was painful. Wait! Pain. I felt that, I'm alive? Ouch! Yes, definitely felt that.

I ease my eyes open and am met with the blaring light of a hospital room. So, I guess that pain was my breathing, fantastic, probably to do with the tube in my chest right. So, what was the weight I felt on my hand? Oh, that explains why I can smell her, her head rests against my palm as she breaths evenly in a deep slumber. I focus my eyes on the golden blonde as the painkillers pull me under again.

Over the next several hours I float in and out of consciousness. At one point, I wake long enough to gather information from Frost who appeared beside Maura who was still passed out.

I find out I'd been shot, well duh could've figured that out myself. I vaguely remember the fired gun but the rest is still fuzzy. Frost tells me the bullet cracked 3 ribs which in turn punctured my heart but the EMTs were able to stabilize me long enough to get me into surgery and stop me from crashing in time to repair the puncture. But due to the severity the decision had been made to put me in a medically induced coma to aid the recovery. According to Frost I'd been out 3 days. Most interestingly he informed me that this was the first time Maura had slept since the shooting and that was only after a nurse had sedated her after she refused to leave me alone long enough to take care of herself. Hearing this information must have set a switch inside me triggering the memories of after I was shot. She loves me? She loves me back! The sudden realisation prompt me to questioned Frost further. He informed me that Maura had operated in an almost catatonic state barely acknowledging anyone's existence but my own. She had ridden in the ambulance, stalked the OR hallway, and held my hand ever since they wheeled me through to recovery. I was in awe of this remarkable woman. This I thought as I fell back to slumber.

The next time I woke I met the sight of familiar hazel orbs.

"You're awake!" I smiled at her.

Her eyes brimmed with tears, "I could say the same to you sweet girl."

"I'm so sorry Maur, I should have been wearing my vest, I should have listened to Korsak, I should have thought about you!" she stared at me as tears slowly slid down her face. At the sight of this I attempted to sit up and comfort her only to pull back to the pain in my chest.

"For god sake Jane, be careful you'll rip out your draining tube and puncture your heart again!" she sobbed out as she gently but assertively helped rest me back against the bed. As she moved away I grasped her wrist. She looked questioningly.

"You're not stupid."

"Sorry?"

"You're not stupid for falling in love with your best friend."

"Jane, I…"

"No Maur, please let me finish because I heard what you said before I passed out. And I swear I can't go another second without you hearing what I have to say!" She nodded for me to continue.

"If falling in love with your best friend makes you stupid then I guess I'm stupid to," the hand I was holding stiffened and the look I saw on her beautiful face was one of fear, anticipation and hope combined, "I thought that if I told you how I felt I would lose you. I thought that I'd rather live secretly in love with you as my best friend instead of being rejected by you and losing you completely by confessing. But you love me too, "I chuckled as the water works hit me as well, "I love you Maura Dorthea Isles and I need you just as much as you need me…I."

I was silence by soft lips, gentle but firm, passionate but tender.

"Why did it take my Jane getting shot for us to finally be together?" she mumbled against my lips. I smirked and pulled back.

"Your Jane huh?"

"My…I mean...um..."

This time I silenced her with my own lips to reassure her.

"My Maura, I like the sound of that."