Home Is Where The Heart Lies

Setting, spoilers etc. Filler. Part I: Some time between the end of OOTM and the start of LATP. Part II, TF, after Caroline comes to call at Jack's house. Yeah, I'm sorry, it's (at least in part) another TF filler. Just suck it up.

Originally posted on TF as part of SC45.

Rating: PG for crude language and metaphors.

Disclaimer: Not for profit. Not mine. Hence wailing and gnashing of teeth. Brian and Rockne, if you'll give FS to me, I'll give you my bike. It's a very nice bike.

Feedback etc always welcome.

Part I

'You look distressed, my dear. Or at least distracted,' Zhaan smiled an indulgent smile at the young, crotchety ex-Peacekeeper who was stalking round her apothecary like a caged Flibbisk. Zhaan knew that, after the incident with the Halosians, Aeryn and John had briefly enjoyed indulging their attraction for one another. But Zhaan also knew that, in the days afterwards, the young Sebacean woman had reverted to type and drawn back, seeking refuge in the emotional isolation she was more comfortable with. As she had done so, the whole crew, except perhaps D'argo, had noticed Aeryn growing increasingly irritable.

Zhaan had certainly noticed that, today, Aeryn was wearing her hair up in a tight braid, as was the style amongst the Peacekeepers. That braid warned Zhaan, and everyone else with any sense, that Aeryn's mood was grim and not inclined to entertain any nonsense, human or otherwise.

'I don't want to talk about it,' Aeryn replied. 'I get enough of that from Crichton,' she added under her breath.

'Then why…?'

'I want something for a headache,' snapped Aeryn, folding her arms and staring at the Delvian.

'How tall is this headache?' Zhaan teased.

Aeryn glowered back at her.

'Not funny,' she warned.

'Perhaps you should think about what you might do to relieve the cause of your headache?' suggested Zhaan, with a beatific, indulgent smile that irritated the already snappy Aeryn still further.

'Just give me a frelling potion,' Aeryn snarled, lowering her right arm and drumming her fingers on the stock of her holstered pulse pistol.

Zhaan rifled through one of her large open-necked bottles and pulled out something small and brown.

'Here.' She said as she handed it to Aeryn, who stared at it in open disbelief. It seemed to be a small piece of tree bark, a long way from the high-tech remedies which she had been used to as a Peacekeeper.

'Mmm hmmm. What am I supposed to do with this?'

'Chew on it for a hundred microts whenever you feel the headache.'

'And that will help?'

'With the headache: Yes. With what is causing it: No.'

'Zhaan!'

'Oh, my dear,' sighed Zhaan. 'What do you think you will achieve by hiding your true feelings for John? Apart from a headache…?'

'Feelings!' Aeryn nearly shouted. 'Feelings are weakness! Indulgence! We cannot afford such things if we are to survive.' She span on here heel and stalked back and forth in front of Zhaan, trying to walk off some nervous energy. Some might have been intimidated by the agitation that the ex-Peacekeeper was showing, but not Zhaan.

'What is survival alone if you do not live?' the priestess challenged the Peacekeeper.

'I'm warning you, Zhaan. Just drop it. You don't understand,' Aeryn stopped her pacing and glowered at her tormentor. But Zhaan was not so easily quietened.

'Don't understand that you're too scared of who you were to be who you could be?'

'Zhaan!'

'No, my child…..'

'I am not a child! And I am not your child!' Aeryn's voice was rising, nearing breaking point. She would surely be shouting soon. She slammed her hand down on Zhaan's apothecary table in her anger. The jolt knocked over a small, elaborately decorated bottle which had been on the tabletop. Aeryn stared as the oil within began to trickle out, focussing her embarrassment over her outburst on the dripping bottle rather than look Zhaan in the eye. Her anger subsided a notch, mitigated by her guilt.

Aeryn picked up and righted the bottle, getting a trace of the oils on her fingers as she did so. She fancied she caught a hint of a scent. Bringing her fingers closer to her nose, she sniffed. It smelt… pleasant.

'Zhann… what is this?'

Zhann smiled. 'Hair oil, my dear.'

'Hair oil?'

'Scented…' She grinned a wicked grin as two thoughts came to her at once. 'Apparently it makes your hair irresistible to men. Of course, I wouldn't know.' She ran her hand across her bald pate.

Aeryn laughed, if only for a microt. Zhaan was delighted to see and hear her laugh. Aeryn neither smiled nor laughed often enough for Zhaan's liking.

'Me neither: I've never used such a thing.'

'You should.'

The remains of Aeryn's smile faded and she turned away slightly. 'I don't need to encourage him any more!' she snapped, remembering the effect Zhaan had ascribed to the oil.

'Oh, dearest Aeryn,' she shook her head. 'You have done so little in this life that was just for you. Try it. Not for him. For you. A personal indulgence, if you will.'

'Personal indulgences can be ….' Aeryn began to launch into another of her Peacekeeper doctrines. Zhaan cut her off as gently as she could.

'Aeryn, dear dear Aeryn. You have beautiful hair. Peacekeeper cleansers do not do it justice. You should do this one thing for yourself. Just try it. What harm could it do?'

Aeryn shook her head. 'It is yours. I couldn't possibly.' Aeryn found another excuse not to be beholden to the Delvian. She was still uncomfortable with the idea of owing a favour to anyone, least of all a non-Sebacean.

'My dear, what use do I have for it? Here, take it. It is a gift.' Aeryn couldn't remember anyone, other than John, giving her a gift before. It made her uneasy, made her feel vulnerable.

'I.. I don't know. 'Aeryn stammered. Sensing her vulnerability, her uncertainty, Zhaan reached out and took Aeryn in her arms. To both women's' surprise, Aeryn did not resist. She just stood rigid and motionless in her discomfort until Zhaan released her.

'Take it,' Zhaan inisited, releasing Aeryn and pulling back. 'Promise me you'll try it. Something just for you.'

Aeryn pondered for a few moments, before she picked up the bottle, nodding her thanks. She'd try it. Just the once After all, what harm could that do?