This is so different from anything I've ever wrote and I apologise if it's a bit all over the place but yeah.

Dear baby boy,

You would've been two now, how mad is that? I often sit and wonder what life would be like if you were here. Would you be like your brothers and sisters? Daddy's looks with mummy's personality or would you be the first one who actually looked like mummy? Would you be as crazy as your big brother or would you be quiet and shy like your sister.

I miss you. I miss what would've been, what should've been. I miss what it was like for those twenty four weeks that you were all snug in my belly, kicking constantly and keeping me awake every night. I miss seeing you wriggling about on the screen as you hid your face and crossed your legs.

You were such a little fighter. Despite everything you held on for so, so long and it kills me to think of what you must've gone through, my brave baby boy. I'm so sorry I couldn't keep you safe. I'll never forget that last night I felt you moving and wriggling as I put your siblings to bed. We were so happy, we'd picked out your name that night and we'd ordered a ton of clothes online. Daddy and I lay in bed just watching the way you moved, my belly occasionally shifting as you wriggled. That night we fell asleep with smiles on our face completely unaware of what the next day would bring.

You were so perfect when you were born, so tiny but so perfect. The doctors tried to save you, they tried really hard but we were too late and you were just too early. You lived for a whole 48 minutes before you took your last breath and your perfect little heart stopped beating. The only thing that brings me some comfort is the fact that you passed snuggled up in my arms surrounded by our love. Daddy and I held you and we spoke to you about the most random things just so we didn't have to say goodbye to you. You were so wanted and you are still so loved.

I was never one to believe in life after death, never one to believe in Heaven but it's the only thing that's keeping me going, knowing that one day I might hold you in my arms again and this time I won't have to let you go.

We'll never forget you, baby boy.

Love always,

Mummy x