A.N.: Hey guys. First of all English isn't my first language so there are certainly many mistakes in it. This was planned as a one shot but maybe I'll continue if you guys want.
Review and tell me.
Summary: What does she life for? Santana's life is a hell and she's ready to end it. But then she gets to know a tall blonde.
Rated M because of thoughts of suicide, maybe suicide, rape and to be on the safe side. Planned as a one shot, maybe it'll be continued.
Reasons to live for
My whole life I just tried to be strong. To act like nothing happened. To survive every day. But now I don't have a reason anymore. Because she was my only reason. But she left me. Let me alone with him.
I look at the razor in my hand.
I could end this. Now. What do I have to live for? Everyone hates me. And they're right with what they say. I'm an infamous slut. I take a deep breath. You can do that! I keep engaging myself but I can't move my arm to do the final cut. It's like I'm freezed.
As I hear the door opening I am brought out of my thoughts. I don't know how long I stood there but I figure that it was at least one hour. Whatever, now that my dad is home it has to wait. Just cool down. You survived it like a thousand times so that one you going to survive this last time too. Tomorrow, the last day of pretending everything is fine, the last day of pain. So I just put on a fake smile and go downstairs knowing what will happen.
My body hurts as I wake up. 7 am. Time to get up and get ready for school. I feel a sharp pain in my stomach as I try to stand up. There's a big bruise right where the pain comes from and suddenly everything from last night comes back to me.
"Please dad no!" I hear myself beg nearly to cry. He just looks at me. His expression is cold and without any mercy. He just takes the money and nod at him to take me. I feel disgusting as the guy already undress me with his eyes. As soon as we are in the bedroom he starts to kiss me. I try to pull away but he's stronger and at least an inch higher than me. As he pushes me hardly on the bed I begin to cry hysterically. "Shut up little bitch!" I hear the guy say as he opens his jeans. I want to take the chance that he has no hands free to run away but I can't move, my body is completely numb. I just lay there with closed eyes hoping that it's over soon as he undresses me.
I feel that I begin to cry again so I quickly stand up ignoring the pain. Looking at my body I realize that I have almost everywhere bruises, even a few cuts on my legs and chest. I pick long clothes so that the most bruises are covered. With makeup I try to cover the rest with medium success. Hopefully nobody notices them, but they didn't care at other times, why should they today?
I come to school late so there's nearly nobody still in the halls. I quickly grab my books from my locker and run to my class. Luckily I arrive just as the same time as the teacher. "That was luck miss Lopez, the period started five minutes ago."
"I know, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." I answer her quickly. "It's okay. Sit down."
I do as I was told. Only now I see the tall blonde standing next to my teacher. She has beautiful blue eyes and long curly blonde hair. I fall in love with her as soon I see her, as a friend of course. I don't even believe myself that, but I'm straight right?
"Guys, this is Brittany. She moved here from Philadelphia. Santana, would you please be so nice and show her the school and help her if she has questions?"
"Sure" I answer smiling like goofy. She has to think I'm super stupid grinning like that. But she's so beautiful.
The rest of the period I spend with starring at Brittany. And as our sights meet and I get a look in her wonderful blue eyes I know, there are still reasons to live for.