Canvas
Summary: Sometimes, all life needs is a little colour. Drabble.
What is art?
It took him a while, but now the answer can't be any more obvious. He sees it in the uncertainty in Sakura's eyes, the slouch of Kakashi's shoulders, the determination of Naruto's. He sees it in everything around him, and he smiles because he feels he is most at home now. Art is emotion. It is witnessing as they all but erupt from a person's stance, or features, or words or ire.
Art is emotion.
He has emotion now, he likes to think. And he has proof, too. Sai sometimes thinks back (reminisces, he corrects hastily), to when he was in ROOT, to when he was empty. It makes his heartstrings tug painfully, and it makes him smile anyway because he rarely has that feeling whenever he is not watching Naruto and Sakura bond. Sai considers this proof that he is, in fact, capable of feeling. And he does want to feel more.
He's been living dead for a long while, and now, he is coming alive. Granted, it is not at the pace he wishes to take, but at least he is no longer hollow… dead. Sai is becoming less of a shell and more of a person, and he is feeling, feeling, feeling. He feels happiness just as anyone does, and he feels worry, pain and amusement and exasperation and it makes him dizzy to even begin to sort them out.
He's never been happier.
Because he isn't not feeling. Because he feels. Because he isn't empty.
Sai is pulled out of his musings in time to see Naruto tackle Sakura into the ground. And they become a heap of laughter, smiles and limbs and Sai feels the same feeling tugging at his heart—wistfulness, a book said it was. Longing— again. Sai likes to think that someday, he just may be a part of the kind of bond Naruto and Sakura share. And maybe, Sai thinks, he'll be more than just dizzy with emotions. He'll be drowning in them pleasantly. And maybe, just maybe, he'll be able to feel and understand at the same time. He wants to be just like them.
Hurricanes of emotion, just about ready to burst from their veins. Naruto and Sakura are absolutely real. Undoubtedly there, alive. And feeling. Sai wants nothing more than to be as free as they are.
Sai watches curiously as Naruto's palm closes over Sakura's mouth, muffling her protests. He notices that despite her growling and distorted screaming, her eyes are dancing with humor and hold no vehemence at all. And Sai knows Sakura has all the strength to push the blond off her, but doesn't. Sai thinks this is play. This is affection. Naruto and Sakura are bonding again.
He smiles, the longing all but doubling in him.
"SAI!" Naruto hollers suddenly from across the field, grinning from ear to ear. "Sakura-chan's a liar! She says it's not her turn to pay for lunch, but it is! Tell her, Sai!"
"It's your turn to pay for lunch, Sakura," Sai says automatically, and he hears Sakura's muffled wailing.
"Hah!" Naruto yells, crossing his arms and turning his nose up in the air. "I told you so, Sakura-chan!"
"Moron," Sakura replies with a scowl, but Sai sees the upward tug of her lips. "Get off of me!"
Naruto grins cheekily. "Not until you admit it's your turn."
The only female teammate of Team Seven rolls her eyes. "If it's that important to you… no."
Naruto turns pleading eyes at him. "SAAAAAAIII! Help me out here!"
Sai tilts his head in consideration, and realizes that there is a pleasant feeling of warmth tingling and spreading under his pale skin. This feeling, too, is growing in frequency, particularly each time Naruto or Sakura try to pull him in as they interact and bond.
He comes to an abrupt realization. They are both now including him in their bond. Sai wonders when this has happened, and he wonders why this has happened without his own knowledge, because this is such a novelty and it is making him feel—
Sai can't put a name to the emotion, but it is raw, and it is art, and he does not want it to ever leave.
Maybe, he thinks, maybe he is slowly becoming as free as Naruto and Sakura are. Maybe, he already does have the kind of bond he's wanted to share with them for so long.
(He remembers, a few months back (though it seems to be a very long time ago), they never thought of including him whenever they bonded. It used to bother him, but he learned to accept it. He learned that he wasn't a part of whatever they had.
But not anymore.)
Sai breaks out in a sincere smile, startling the other two members of Team Seven.
Naruto looks confusedly at Sakura, wondering what it is he said.
I posted this a few months back, took it down, and decided to put it back up again with some slight modifications. _
Can't say I'm happy about the finished product, though. Oh well.