TITLE: Blood Roses in Winter

AUTHOR: Alyssa C

CATEGORY: Angsty Fluff. Yes. I can do that, lol.

PAIRINGS: Pre Rachel/Ivy

SPOILERS: Book 2 – The Good, The Bad and the Undead.

RATING: T to be safe.

WARNINGS: It's been Beta'd before I post it! AAH!! ;) No warnings really, just spoilers.

STATUS: Complete, one shot.

FEEDBACK: Please! Please I'll do tricks for reviews. Which? Well. Review and see. ;)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Hollows although I would love to live there. It's the property of Kim Harrison who is one kick ass author. Also, I do not own Tori Amos's Blood Roses or Winter. I do not make any money out of this.

AN: I'm suffering from writer's block in my usual categories and decided to try something different. I just discovered The Hollows and I haven't been this excited about a new series since I discovered David Gemmel's 'Troy...' Or George R. R. Martin's 'The song of Ice and Fire...' Or Laurie R. King... Needless to say, I consider it to be among the greats. I hope you enjoy this. If you do not know these two songs, go to my profile page. I've got links to Youtube videos that link to them. I'd almost recommend going to the one with the piano solo. That's how I imagined this played. For length, I've edited the lyrics to the first song. A big thank you and honours to my Beta, Tenchi Knight, who edited this for me in record time. No, you can't have her… She's mine. ;) Joking. Thank you for reading this and I hope you enjoyed or rather, will enjoy it.

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Blood Roses in Winter.

Rachel Morgan had a headache and no charm to fix it with. Walking down the quiet street, books clutched to her chest she rubbed at her brow and tried to remember why she had not taken any of her charms. Since the court case against Piscary started, she's had a headache almost every day. She suspected that it was fear driven. If she wasn't worried about what would happen if Al's testimony wasn't enough to put the master vampire in jail, she was worried about becoming Al's familiar. It was beginning to show in her dreams.

Ever since the demon started testifying at Piscary's trial she had been having terrible nightmares stemming from the cold feeling of dread that she felt when she looked at him, knowing that when it all ended she would take the smut of all the demon's black deeds. She had tried so hard to keep her soul clean and now, it would all go for nothing.

Where had my life started going so terribly wrong? Rachel thought as she turned up the last block. What did I do to deserve this?

The cold night offered her no answers, merely a growing sense that her time as a free individual was running out. She sighed and finally turned up the drive, she hadn't used her car today because Ivy had to use it. Why? She hadn't asked, as she wasn't asking about a lot of other things.

Her roommate was another worry that Rachel didn't particularly want to dwell on. They acted as if nothing was wrong, as if nothing had changed. After breakfast, Ivy would go on her runs as usual and Rachel would leave to go to court. They didn't ask each other about how their days had gone, because their answers might destroy one another.

Since that fateful night that Piscary had raped Ivy, Rachel's friend had changed.

Gone was her slightly disturbed roommate with her iron self control and in her place was a terrifying, guilty predator. Ivy had gone back to practicing with a ferocity that belied her fast of three years. Guiltily, Rachel had to admit that it made her easier to live with. She knew now that if Ivy felt the need to satisfy herself she would go out for a meal instead of dining in so to say. But, she could feel her friend's hurt. Deep down, she knew that Ivy was grossly disappointed in herself. What ever promises she had made when she had decided to stop practicing were now as scarred as her once perfect skin.

Sighing softly, pushing some of her wild red hair out of her face, Rachel stopped in front of the church's doors. Home, she thought quietly. She was safe at home.

Despite the circumstances, it felt good thinking that. She knew that this was the one place she was safe from both the demon and the master vampire.

She reached out to push open the heavy wooden doors, hearing the muffled sound of a piano coming from inside the church. Ivy was playing one of her finger flexibility exercises. She felt a pang of jealousy, wondering if she would've been that good had she not been a living vampire but the emotion was short lived. Although she never came out and said it, she suspected that Ivy hated what she was. And, she made no secret of the fact that she hoped that one day Rachel would find a way to cure her. It was why she had stood up against Piscary.

But, I drove her to him as well, Rachel though a lump tightening in her throat even as she began to catch the tune of the song Ivy was playing. If she wasn't mistaken, it was Blood Roses by Tori Amos. She slipped into the church and closed the door behind her, shutting out the cool night air. Pretty soon they were going to have to make a decision concerning Jenks and his family but for now, Rachel felt that she had enough on her mind. She looked down the aisle to where Ivy sat hunched over her grand piano. She hadn't paused or faltered in her playing but Rachel knew that she was aware of her. Nobody could miss it when a vampire's attention was on them.

She thought of walking past her, of leaving without disturbing her but the music that she called up from the piano was so striking that Rachel knew she couldn't just walk away. Instead, she walked closer to Ivy taking note of the large carton of orange juice standing beside the piano stool. The citrus smell wasn't enough to mask the metallic smell of blood that lingered around her roommate. She had been feeding tonight. The thought churned Rachel's stomach as much as it gave her a sense of relief. It made her bolder than usual and allowed her to feel comfortable to stop right behind her room mate because the woman wasn't hungry. She had not noticed it immediately but this close she discovered that Ivy was softly singing along with her playing. She knew the words from the song, but hearing Ivy sing them made her heart tighten with emotion.

"Blood roses, blood roses," Ivy sang softly, "back on the street now..." She faded away as her playing got stronger, skipping a few lyric. "You gave him your blood and your warm little diamond..." she whispered, changing her style. "God knows, I know I've thrown away those graces... Thrown away those graces... He sucks you deep... Sometimes you're nothing but meat..." Despite the crystal quality of Ivy's voice the sound of self loathing slipped into her beautiful tone, turning the words to ash in Rachel's ears. Ivy didn't sing again, but carried on playing. When Rachel shifted so that she could see her friend's face she realized that Ivy was crying softly, her eyes closed as she tried to loose herself in the music.

I wish I could do that, Rachel thought as her own throat tightened with latent emotion. Just lose myself, close my eyes and pretend that all of this never happened.

Maybe it was because she was tired and had a headache, maybe it was because her own pain was so much greater than her fear for Ivy's vampire side but suddenly Rachel felt the overwhelming need to slip in next to her friend and comfort her.

It's alright now; she consoled herself as she slowly moved around the bench to reach the open spot on Ivy's left. She's fed. And, it will only be for a little bit.

Ivy didn't stiffen when she started moving, but Rachel could feel her attention sharpening. Her mouth went dry, but she controlled her fear and carefully slipped in next to her friend. There was a brief slip in Ivy's recital but the vampire quickly covered it up by starting the song from the beginning. Her brown eyes didn't look at Rachel, but her face had gone softer and her melody more sombre. Rachel closed her eyes and deepened her breathing to relax her body. Her one hand slipped down to the small space between herself and the vampire. Her scar throbbed briefly, triggered by the closeness of Ivy's body. Unbidden, her thoughts returned to the demon who gave it to her, the same one who she had seen testify in court today and the same one who will, when the time comes, take her as his familiar: Big Al.

Cold fear took her by surprise, as real and palatable as the moment she had first realized a demon was out for her blood. She only realized her mistake when Ivy abruptly stopped playing. There was a brush against her chest as the vampire's arm shot out to grip the sides of the piano. When Rachel looked at her friend she realized with a familiar dread that Ivy's pupils were completely black and she had assumed her 'count to ten' position.

So much for being sated...

"Ivy..." Rachel started to speak but cut herself short; aware of her friend's laboured breathing and the goose bumps in the white arm touching her chest. For a moment Rachel felt her panic increase as she wondered whether it was Piscary trying to kill her through Ivy. Ivy had said that it was possible...

She started to slip off of the bench but realized that if she did that then Ivy wouldn't be able to help herself and give chase.

She might die tonight...

Instead of absolute terror, the thought brought a sudden, hysterical giggle from her that she had to struggle to control. That will solve all her problems. A flood of relief filled her as she realized that she had nothing to fear from her roommate in comparison to the problems she faced outside the church. Her relief brought a sigh from Ivy and, when she shifted and opened her eyes, Rachel saw the ring of brown returning to her orbs. Seeing it as her cue to leave she moved to get up but Ivy shifted her arm quickly and put her hand on Rachel's leg.

"Wait," she said in a husky voice. "Just... wait. Stay. It's alright." She coughed to clear her throat and reached for her orange juice. Rachel shifted uncomfortably as she watched Ivy took a drawn out sip. The woman had not yet taken her hand from her leg and it made her scar tingle uncomfortably.

"Ivy, if I'm bothering you..."

The vampire shook her head, her long black hair rolling down her back in a smooth wave. "It's alright," she said when she put her carton down. "Just wait..." Ivy took a steadying breath and finally removed her hand from Rachel's leg. It left the witch feeling strangely alone even if her friend was still within touching distance but she was relieved to see that almost all of the brown had returned to Ivy's gaze.

"Okay," she said finally as Ivy put her hand to the piano. "Just one more song,"
Her friend smiled in a manner almost too gentle for her and slowly started playing a rift. Another Tori Amos song: Winter.

"Snow can wait," Ivy started to sing softly. "I forgot my mittens, wipe my nose, get my new boots on. I get a little warm in my heart when I think of winter, I put my hand in my father's glove. I runoff, where the drifts get deeper. Sleeping beauty trips me with a frown. I hear a voice, "You must learn to stand up for yourself, cause I can't always be around... He says; when you're gonna make up your mind, when you're gonna love you as much as I do, when you're gonna make up your mind... Cause things are gonna change so fast. All the white horses are still in bed. I tell you that I'll always want you near. You say that things change my dear..."

Rachel listened to the words, the lump that had been her in her throat ever since she entered the church slowly but surely turning to tears. She daren't wipe them in fear of interrupting Ivy's song or triggering her instincts again. Instead, she closed her eyes and swallowed, feeling her warm tears flow down her cheeks. Slowly, as Ivy continued to sing she felt her body relax, almost sinking in on herself.

"Boys get discovered as winter melts," Ivy continued. "Flowers competing for the sun, years go by and I'm still waiting, withering where some snowman was. Mirror, mirror, where's the crystal palace? But, I can only see myself, skating round the truth who I am. But I know dad, the ice is getting thin." Before she started singing the chorus again, Ivy made a soft shushing sound and shifted ever so slightly that she could sit against Rachel. The witch felt her movement as well as the brief touch on her head as Ivy briefly leaned her head against hers before carrying on singing.

"When you gonna make up your mind, when you gonna love you as much as I do, when you gonna make up your mind, cause things are gonna change so fast. All the white horses are still in bed, I tell you I'll always want you near. You say that things change my dear."

Rachel couldn't help but wonder if Ivy was singing to her or to Piscary. As her tears continued to flow, she felt her reserve slip with it and, against all her senses telling her not to, she leaned rested her head on Ivy's shoulder and put her arm around the vampire's waist. She felt Ivy swallow and tense without pausing in her playing but then the vampire closed her eyes and carried on playing, the music becoming almost mournful as she finished the rift.

"Hair is grey," she sang. "And the fires are burning. So many dreams on the shelf, you say I wanted you to be proud of me, I always wanted that myself. He says, when you gonna make up your mind, when you gonna love you as much as I do, when you gonna make up your mind, cause things are gonna change so fast, All the white horses have gone ahead. I tell you that I'll always want you near; you say that things change, my dear."

As she sang the last lyrics she slowed down her pace, humming softly as she did so. Rachel, with her head still on Ivy's shoulder, found herself wishing that the music would never end and that they could stay here, in this moment, forever. With Ivy so close, and her faint ash smell strong in Rachel's senses, she found the ache in her heart disappearing, soothed over by the gentle tones in her friend's voice. It was only when the music stopped, and the silence filled the church around them, that Rachel came back from herself and vaguely became aware of the dangerous position she was in. Yet, she wasn't afraid. When she opened her eyes she realized that Ivy's hands were calming resting in her lap and the vampire was breathing deeply, calmly as if drinking in the very air around them. Rachel lifted her head slowly and turned to look at Ivy's face only to realize that she was already looking at her. Ivy's eyes were a steady deep brown as she regarded her roommate, the rawness and need in her soul opened for the world to see. It wasn't hunger, but the need to be loved, to be held and comforted. The need perhaps to be told that this was as much a nightmare for her as for Rachel and that one morning she would wake up and find that her life was as she wanted it. That the betrayal of Piscary—her father figure—and the rejection of Rachel—the woman she wanted to be her scion and lover—doesn't exist.

Still looking at Ivy, Rachel slowly started to shift off of the bench, her eyes still locked with her roommate's. When she got up and moved behind the bench Ivy, instead of turning to continue looking at her, slowly turned her gaze back to the piano to stare at the black and white keys. The loss of her gaze felt like a tug on Rachel's soul and before she could stop herself she took a step closer to Ivy and placed a hand on her shoulder. The vampire actually flinched but after a tense breath relaxed her shoulders. With her mouth dry, Rachel slowly leaned forward and kissed her on the top of her head. Ivy didn't move and for a few seconds, didn't even seem to breathe.

Realizing suddenly that her kiss was an empty promise, Rachel took her hand away from Ivy's shoulder and stepped back, still looking at the woman's raven dark hair. She wanted to say something, to apologize or to explain herself, but the words turned to ash in her mouth.

Blinking back tears, Rachel started to step back towards the door, never turning her back on the woman. When she reached the door leading to the rest of the house she found herself wishing suddenly that Ivy would stand up and follow her. She knew that with the ache of loneliness in her heart and the need inside her to just get away from all her emotions, she wouldn't hesitate to loose herself to the woman.

But still, Ivy didn't move, her gaze fixed on the piano.

Unable to look at her anymore Rachel closed her eyes and turned her back on the vampire, secretly longing to hear the scrape of the bench being pushed back. She started to walk away then turned back once to see that Ivy had finally moved. Hunched over the piano, she had resumed her 'count to ten' position, clutching the piano's sides with a force that threatened to dent the wood. Her eyes were closed and her mouth open in a silent scream as she battled against her instincts to follow her roommate.

Rachel quietly willed her to get up but she never did and the witch was left to go back to her room on her own, thinking about empty promises, false hopes and the bitter realization that she could not help her friend even less so than she could help herself.

FIN