Clark found her laying in the middle of the living room floor in a yellow tank top and black shorts. She had moved the furniture around to give herself the space she needed for whatever she called herself doing. No one could ever say of Lois Lane that she didn't know how to make herself right at home. Granted, she lived on the farm now, but still.

Did his parents know what she was up to? He scanned the farm. They weren't here. Why did that thought make him nervous, especially when she spotted him. There was only one way to describe her expression, cat-like, and he got the feeling he was the mouse.

"Smallville," she said, getting to her feet. "Just the person I wanted to see."

No doubt about it. He was definitely the prey. "Oh, really. Why is that?"

"I need a partner bad."

He gulped. "A partner for what?"

"Okay, more of a guinea pig actually, since you won't be doing any of the moves. I'm working on the next degree of my black belt, and I need someone to practice on."

She was a black belt of multiple degrees? Why wasn't he surprised? "Sorry, the idea of being your rag doll doesn't thrill me." He turned to go.

"Scared?"

He rolled his eyes at the challenge. She was obviously trying to appeal to his ego like he was some middle-school boy who had to prove he wouldn't be beaten by a girl. "Good luck finding that guinea pig."

"Please," her voice went soft, finding his weak spot. She had moved onto her feminine arsenal. Girls didn't fight fair, not even girls who did karate. He turned back around.

"I promise I haven't killed any of my partners," she went on. "They don't give out black belts for that. Seriously maimed a few guys, on the other hand, maybe once or twice."

"Lois," he said her name like a growl.

"I'm kidding. I won't hurt you."

Where was her guarantee that he wouldn't hurt her? What if she threw a punch too hard and broke her hand on his very solid chest? "On one condition, you warn me every step of the way what you're about to do."

"It's a deal," she said with the grin of victory. "Lay down."

He looked down at the plush rug. What kind of self-defense was this? You couldn't tell your assailant to lay down. "I thought you were going to take me down?"

"Well, if you insist." The next thing he knew, she'd grabbed the collar of his shirt and the sleeve of his arm and tossed him like a ton of bricks over her hip. She held onto him, so all his weight didn't hit the floor though it wouldn't have hurt if it had.

"I hadn't intended on practicing my Judo, but you did tell me to do it," she said with a wicked grin. "See, it's less about strength and more about taking your balance."

"I can see that, and I thought you were going to warn when you do something? We had an agreement."

"I really couldn't help myself. The look of surprise on your face was totally worth, but I'll be good now, I promise."

If by being good, she meant mounting him across his stomach. "What are you doing?" He was extremely embarrassed. He hadn't been in such an intimate position before, not even with Lana. "This is not defending yourself."

"Not yet, it's not," She took the wrist and elbow of his right arm and pinned him to the floor. As she leaned forward, her ponytail tickled his neck, but that was the least of his worries. She had zero space between them. Zero.

"Okay, Clark. As soon as this starts to hurt, tap me, and I'll let go."

He tapped. He wished she would have told him that first thing. He would have tapped a long time ago to get her chest off his chest.

"I didn't do anything yet," she complained. When he squirmed uncomfortably because she was still straddled across him, she got the picture. "Oh my gosh, you are such a prude. I'm not exactly taking advantage of you here, but if you're that uncomfortable," she said as she started to get off.

"No, no. I said I'd help, and I will. Go ahead. Do what you need to do."

She pinned his arm down again and closed her hand over her own wrist and started pulling his arm southward. He knew he'd made a mistake again when he didn't tap because her eyes widened and she stopped. "Either you're the most flexible person in the world, or I'm doing something wrong."

"Uh, um." He found out that it was really hard to think of a legitimate excuse when you had a girl so close to you, you could see her sweat. It should have grossed him out more, but the sweaty sheen on her skin gave her a glow of health that made it hard to think even though she'd laid out two perfectly reasonable excuses. He should have jumped on the prude bandwagon when he had the chance.

"Never mind. I'll just move on to the monoplata. Grab me."

"What?"

"Put your arms around me," she said a trifle more impatiently.

He complied, albeit with reservation.

"Closer. There can't be any space between us. Put your head up against me."

He was figuring that part out about the space. What kind of sport was this anyway? If this had been a school dance, a chaperone would have pried them apart by now.

If someone had told him yesterday that this was how he'd be spending his morning with Lois wrapped in his arms and on top of him, he would've called them crazy. What was even crazier is he didn't hate it half as much as he thought he would.

"Clark!" His mom had just opened the door and dropped two paper bags of groceries that she'd been holding. His dad was standing right behind her, looking equally shocked, though he'd managed to hold onto his bags.

There was no easy way to free himself. He sat up, and Lois slid right into his lap. "It's not what it looks like."

"It never is with you two," his dad said, looking at him with a strange mixture of bemusement and indignation.

Clark stood up. He offered a hand to help Lois up even though she wore a smirk. She could do more to explain the situation. She enjoyed watching him squirm in front of his parents way too much.

"We were doing some kind of martial arts," he said.

"Well, I've never heard it called that before," his mom fussed as she picked up the groceries. "I'd be more apt to call it monkey business."

Lois must have decided he'd suffered long enough. She said with a chuckle, "He really was helping me with my jiu-jittsu."

"Oh, well, carry on then," his dad said though he was still looking at Clark as if he suspected there was more to it than that.

"Yes, sweetie, don't let us stop you," his mom said in an aggravatingly slow way that communicated she thought there was more to it as well, and why wouldn't they after catching them in the bathroom together half-dressed? He almost didn't believe there was nothing going on.

When his parents were in the kitchen, he asked, "Do you want to finish practicing?"

"Nah, I'll get one of the guys to train with me at the studio I just joined. It's probably better that my partner knows what he's doing."

The thought of some stranger rolling around with her annoyed him And the fact that it annoyed him annoyed him. How did Lois always manage to get under his skin without even trying?