Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach in any way. I don't even get paid for writing these fics, but I do it anyway because I want to.
A/N: Ejimi requested an Orihime/Ulquiorra pairing fic from me, so here I am doing it. Personally I'm all for Ishida/Orihime, but a request is a request. So please enjoy this very cracky fic.
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It was ridiculous. She was nothing more than trash, and yet he actually felt as though he was attracted to this human. It was beyond ridiculous, it was bordering on disgusting.
He had decided that she was trash just a few moments after arriving in the human world. A teenage human girl with hair the color of autumn leaves and ridiculously large chest for her age that had actually had the nerve to attempt to attack Yammy with a puny black fairy. Useless, reckless, weak. That was what he had thought anyway.
Then, as Yammy had sent the girl flying, Kurosaki Ichigo had stepped in. That boy was practically her knight in shining armor, but he knew that the orange-haired paradox was not hers. He would protect her, but he would not love her in the way that she did. It seemed that he was already thoroughly entranced with the black-haired shinigami that the Hougyoku had been hidden in. His loss, he supposed.
He hadn't been obsessed with this strange girl before, even though he had realized that her healing abilities were actually some sort of temporal-spatial ability. He had had no interest whatsoever until Aizen-sama himself had taken notice of this girl. Anything that Aizen-sama actually considered of worth was definitely not quite as worthless as Ulquiorra himself had deemed.
So he had been sent to kidnap the girl, and to get her to cooperate with Aizen-sama's plans of glory. That had actually been quite simple. The girl was naively selfless, willing to do anything to make sure that her little friends were not killed. Although, he had surprised himself by allowing her to have twelve hours to say good-bye to just one person, who had predictably, been Kurosaki Ichigo. Why had he given her that time? It was not like him to be kind in any way whatsoever. True, some may argue that he had not been kind, that he had been torturing her with what she could no longer have, but he knew his own intentions when he had given her that one favor. There had been no intentions of malice; he had instead considered it a favor that he could afford to give her.
But he was also cruel. What was it about her that made him taunt her about the inevitable death of her friends? What was it that made him, the 4th of the Espada, the emotionless one, want to anger her? It made no sense. But he had managed to elicit a response from her, even if it was just a slap.
It was her purity, he supposed, that made him this obsessed. It was even implied in her name Inoue Orihime. A princess from human legend who fell in love with a cow herder. She was so good, so selfless, so pure, in everything that she did, that he couldn't help but want to defile that purity. He was surrounded by the fallen at all times, so to see an angel, no matter how weak; he was always inexplicably drawn to her. And he wanted to drag her down to his level, away from her childish dreams and halcyon days. Regardless of the fact that she was just a little bit better than trash, he wanted her.
Of course, her "friends" would not let her go so easily. They had come chagrining recklessly into Hueco Mundo, with no doubt that they could somehow slash their way through Las Noches and all of its arrancar, and rescue the girl. Fools.
An even greater fool had to be Grimmjow. Of all of the Espada, he did not understand at all why Grimmjow was there. True, he was powerful since he had earned the rank of 6th, but his constant rebellious behavior was enough to have him kicked out he was sure. He had secretly rejoiced when Grimmjow had been replaced, and was disappointed when the girl had brought back his arm, which allowed him to take back his former position.
And now he had taken the girl out of the prison for his own strange ambitions to fight Kurosaki Ichigo. Ulquiorra could almost say that he was happy to have an excuse to dispatch the unruly arrancar.
He would take back the girl, he would cut down all enemies of Aizen-sama's, and eventually he would dirty the angel's pure wings. And then she would be his. Forever.
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A/N: ….okay, a lot darker than anything I've written before, but that's just how I see this pairing working. And it's awfully short…oh well. Please review! And I'm sorry if Ulquiorra was OOC (but then again, this is an established crack pairing, with the emphasis on crack).