I love these two more than words could say. (This is technically set after my first two Doom Coalition fics but has been written to stand completely alone.)
Enjoy!
One thing Helen would never have expected to get used to is being a prisoner. And yet, here she is, locked in a bedroom with Liv in some alien palace, and all she finds herself saying is that it's nice to be locked up somewhere with some comfortable furniture.
"It does make a nice change," Liv agrees. "I'm not sure I've seen so many cushions in my life."
Helen lets herself fall onto the bed. Her body sinks into it and she lets out a sigh of appreciation.
"Oh, Liv, this is heavenly."
Liv regards her with amusement. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."
Helen, abruptly aware of the privacy as well as the comfort of their 'cell', gives Liv a coy smile. "You know, it would be even more heavenly if you joined me."
Liv's eyebrows lift. "Oh yeah?"
"Yes, I think so," Helen says, reaching out a hand. "It seems a waste to not use this bed for the prime place of cuddling it obviously is."
"Cuddling, right," Liv says, swallowing and moving to lie down next to Helen.
Helen laughs at her. "What did you think I meant?" Liv shrugs. "Did you think I had suddenly decided our first time ought to be in a probably monitored room in an alien castle that we're being held prisoner in?"
"Well, alright, when you say it like that, it sounds silly," Liv admits.
Helen snuggles into her. "Just a bit. Don't worry, Liv, your virtue is safe."
"My virtue?" Liv says, laughing. "You're the one with all the hangups about that sort of thing."
"I do not!" Helen protests.
"It took River Song to even make you realise it was alright to have feelings for women, your views on sex and relationships are archaic!"
Helen, somewhat offended but also knowing that she's right, is not about to take that - well, she is lying down, currently, but that isn't the point.
"Is that right?" Helen asks, and kisses Liv firmly before she can answer.
Part of Liv seems to want to keep arguing, but she almost instantly kisses Helen back with a quiet eagerness, hands sliding down Helen's torso to hold her closer and press their bodies together.
Helen sometimes can't believe she spent as long as she did trying to repress how she feels about women, and other times she can't believe that she's lucky enough to have escaped everything that told her to do that. That how she feels is normal. It's the most wonderfully freeing feeling - that the world she had despised for so long for holding her back had been wrong yet again. It gives her a strange, petty sense of glee.
Life with the Doctor and Liv still seems so much like a dream, but she knows it isn't because she knows she could never imagine anything as wonderful as this. As having friends like them, as having Liv being wonderful and brilliant in every possible way and stealing Helen's heart without even trying to, without even having a clue.
After Helen had, rather thanks to the confidence instilled in her by River Song, made the first move and kissed Liv rather out of the blue, they've been taking things slow.
It just feels right. Helen's never really let herself give herself over to feelings like this before, and Liv claims to be rubbish and extremely out of practice when it comes to relationships.
So, things have been slow, and tentative, but never awkward or wrong, only ever wonderful.
That's not to say that Helen hasn't thought about… other things. And she's caught a glimpse or two from Liv that has her fairly sure she isn't the only one - even if with Liv it can sometimes be hard to tell. Liv is either a closed - if friendly - book, or will completely bare her heart; there is seldom any in between.
Right now, Liv seems to be holding back somehow, which Helen has noticed before. She's fairly sure it's Liv trying to be respectful of Helen's boundaries as well as Liv being a bit afraid to give in completely to anything like this.
Helen wants at least a little more and possibly quite a lot more. So she lets her hands slide up the back of Liv's shirt, just a few inches and no higher because she hasn't asked and because she doesn't have the nerve anyway. But she also kisses Liv a little harder, slipping her the smallest bit of tongue. Liv lets out a tiny moan, and next thing Helen knows Liv's tongue is in her mouth and her hands are exploring a little further up Helen's shirt.
When they stop for breath, Helen is a bit shocked but also delighted to see that Liv's eyes are darker than she has ever seen them.
"God, Helen," she whispers, thumb smoothing over the skin of Helen's torso. "You're so beautiful. Have I ever told you that?"
"Maybe once."
"Well, it's not enough. You are."
Helen feels herself flushing. "Well, thank you."
Then they're kissing again, more urgently, and Helen isn't quite sure how she ends up on top of Liv but isn't exactly complaining.
It's like something clicks into place, then, and Liv's hands become noticeably more certain and her mouth more desperate as it moves down Helen's neck. Helen wonders if it's possible for one's soul to ascend just from having a woman you love kissing your neck.
Liv isn't holding back anymore. It's a thought that makes Helen's whole body warm with anticipation.
Liv's leg slides between Helen's thighs and presses between them, and Helen is so embarrassed by the surprised, helpless noise that comes out of her mouth that she feels her face flush horribly.
"I'm sorry," Liv says with alarm, lowering the leg, "I didn't - I should have asked-"
"No, no, it was-" Helen blushes against, cursing that talking about this kind of thing, doing this kind of thing, was so ingrained in her as wrong from such a young age. Even if consciously she had learned to have disdain for all of opinions hosted by her father and other men like him, subconsciously things could still creep in.
Liv waits patiently, eyes dark but now softer. "It was what? Good?"
Helen nods. "Good, yes. Very good. And I wasn't expecting it, so-" She makes an awkward gesture to herself and pulls a face.
"Do you… want to keep going?" Liv asks.
"God yes," Helen says, leaning down to kiss her again only to immediately pull away. "Wait, unless you don't want to-"
Liv chuckles and kisses her to shut her up, her leg lifting and pressing harder between Helen's and drawing a little moan from her. Helen decides to try and follow Liv's lead, and shifts her knee until Liv makes an appreciative noise against Helen's mouth and shivers slightly in her arms.
"Can I-" Liv's hands are at the buttons of Helen's blouse, and Helen tried to catch her breath as she looks down at Liv and nods, biting her lip.
Liv doesn't rush. She takes her time and kisses each part of Helen's chest as it is exposed to her, now more sitting with Helen in her lap than lying down. Helen runs a hand through Liv's hair as she tries to retain the ability to think at all with the knowledge of Liv Chenka is undressing me and that's her mouth I can feel on my sternum and - oh god my shirt is now on the other side of the room.
Helen is glad she's taking a liking to some of the more modern underwear in the TARDIS. It's worth it to see the look of appreciation on Liv's face at the intricate white lace that is more for show than support since Helen isn't exactly blessed in the chest area.
"Beautiful," Liv says, with that firm, reassuring certainty of hers that has kept Helen grounded and sane through all of their adventures.
Helen has to kiss her again. She always has to, because too many thank yous sound silly, and because then Liv can't see her absurd blushing, and because kissing Liv is one of the best things in the world.
Now Liv's hands can roam all up Helen's back, her callused fingers sweeping over Helen's skin. It's wonderful, and Helen can't believe that they are probably about to maybe have sex in what is functionally just a very comfortable jail cell and yet -
The door slams open.
"Helen, Liv, I - ah."
Helen and Liv break apart to stare at the Doctor, who is standing in the doorway and looking rather sheepish.
"Doctor!" they both yelp.
Helen realises that she's in her bra and trousers in front of the Doctor and feels herself turn scarlet.
Thankfully, he is not looking at her chest or pointedly avoiding doing so. It's like he hasn't even realised she's partially undressed. Not for the first time, Helen finds herself wondering if he's attracted only to men the same way she is only to women - except that she knows he has a wife in the future. Both concepts seem so unlikely to her, so impossible for her to imagine when he's shown more or less no interest in anyone at all in the whole time she's known him.
"Doctor, do you mind?!" Liv asks, frowning at him and pulling Helen a little closer in order to protect her modesty a bit, which makes Helen want to kiss her with gratitude.
"I'm sorry," he says apologetically, "but, we have to go, right now."
"Right now? Can't it wait?" Helen asks, without really meaning to.
"No, because in about ten minutes they're going to realise I've duped them and we need to be well on our way by then if we want to make it to the TARDIS before they catch up to us."
"Great," Liv says sarcastically. "You know, just once, I wish you could find a solution that didn't always end for us running for our lives-"
"I know, I know, but come on, we really need to leave," he urges them, and then his eyes move to something across the room and his cheeks flush ever so slightly. He coughs. "Also, Helen, your shirt hanging off the mantel."
Helen glances behind her, and sees that he's right.
"Thank you," she manages to say without dying of embarrassment, barely. She climbs off Liv and the bed and hurries to grab her shirt and button it back up, while Liv gets up and adjusts her own clothing.
"In your own time, ladies, we're only on the clock to avoid getting impaled by crossbow bolts with homing beacons," the Doctor says impatiently.
"You can shut it," Liv tells him, scowling.
"Alright, alright, I'm good, let's go," Helen says, once she's decent again.
The three of them hurry off and make a quick escape down the spiral staircase the servants tend to use to get around the castle. Problem is, when they reach the bottom, they see some of the royal guards burst in across the great hall.
"Oh, brilliant, see what happens when we get held up?" the Doctor says with exasperation.
"Oh no, this is not our fault," Liv retorts, as they hastily make their way out of a side exit and start running across the castle lawns as fast as they can. "You're the one who got us into this mess!"
"And you two are the ones who decided that being imprisoned in a castle by some bloodthirsty aristocrats was a good time to get amorous! We'd have made it out this door without being spotted if Helen hadn't had to put her shirt back on!"
"Do yourself a favour, Doctor, and don't mention my girlfriend's shirt or any lack of it ever again."
"Oh for - Liv Chenka, I should have thought I would never have to make it clear that I am not a man as you would understand it and that I don't remotely look at women in the way you seem to expect me to - umph!"
Liv, having pushed him into a bush, grabs Helen and drags her down with her as she jumps into said bush after him.
"What was-" The Doctor stared at Liv, looking exasperated and perhaps a bit hurt. "Liv, I'm trying to have an honest and extremely personal conversation with you about something I never discuss with anyone and you just-"
"Shut up, you idiot, I did it because we were about to get shot," Liv hisses.
The Doctor blinks at her. "Oh."
"We are now hiding in this bush. You're welcome."
"Oh."
"... what do you mean, you're not a man as we would understand it?" Helen asks, confused, frowning at him.
The Doctor shrugs. "My species change bodies at the drop of a hat, and we don't always stay the same, in mind or body. The idea of gender as you understand it, which is a result of how you're socialised, just really doesn't apply to us, except in very abstract ways. I might look like a man, in your terms, and I don't have a problem with being called 'he', it suits me well enough, but I'm not a man and I don't think like one."
"Hence your lack of interest in my breasts," Helen says thoughtfully, making the Doctor turn pink and Liv snort. Helen immediately claps her hands over her mouth. "Oh god, did I just say that out loud?"
"I mean, my gender has no bearing on any of that, which is something I'm really not discussing with you or anyone else," the Doctor replies, mildly. "All I meant is that, we all know is that certain types of men have a certain way of looking at women, and I didn't for a moment wish to be aligned with them."
"Right, got it," Liv says.
"Yes, me too, I think," Helen says, intrigued by all the stuff about gender but knowing she shouldn't push her luck about getting more information out of him when it is so personal a topic.
The Doctor nods. "Good." He still looks a bit embarrassed, but also pleased.
They wait until the coast is clear and sneak back to the TARDIS, and it's a relief to be able to stand around the console again. The Doctor gets them off and away, and after the ship's flight has settled some, he glances over at them.
"Well, now we're safe." He smirks a little, eyes twinkling. "Feel free to get back to your… canoodling, or whatever it was you were doing."
"You know exactly what we were-" Liv tries to say, only to be silenced by Helen's hand around her arm. She takes a deep breath. "What the hell is canoodling, anyway?"
"I'm sure Helen can teach you by example," the Doctor replies wryly, before disappearing under the console, leaving Helen laughing hopelessly - and yes, alright, blushing again, it can't be helped - and tugging on Liv's arm.
"Come on," Helen says, and finally manages to get Liv to come with her.
Once they're inside Helen's bedroom, Helen is quick to kiss Liv, and for ten seconds everything is wonderful -
"Nope, I can't do it, all I can think about is the word canoodling and his stupid face," Liv says with exasperation. "Can we just… watch a film?"
Helen can only laugh, and finds she isn't too disappointed. The mood is lost for the day, apparently, and it's not like they haven't had their fair share of all kinds of excitement today already.
"Absolutely," Helen says, and she's more than happy to fall asleep with her head in Liv's lap in one of the many living rooms the TARDIS has while The King and I plays out in front of them.
As long as they're together, things will work out. Helen is more sure of that than ever - no matter how exasperating their otherwise beloved alien companion might be from time to time.