Covered Wounds and Unshed Tears
Disclaimer: I don't own Cats or any of the characters. Sad for me but good for others
You want to know about love? My advice… don't bother. Take it from me. Since we are kittens, we are told stories of love and the happiness that is brings. Sure, some cats may find that but I'm certainly not one of them.
As kittens, we played tag together whenever we got the chance. We could play for hours upon hours with boundless energy, until the sun went down. As we grew older together, we grew closer. By the time I was a grown tom, I knew for certain that I loved her. Sometimes I could even convince myself that she could have shared those feelings. But when he came, everything changed.
She never had enough time for our walks through the alleyways or exploring the Junkyard anymore, all because of him. At first, I didn't really mind. I mean, a new cat comes to the tribe and of course she would accept them. She had always been like that, never turning anyone away and accepting all. I think that's one of the things I really loved about her. But when they spent all of their time together, I began to grow jealous. Can you blame me? (Please don't answer that) All I wanted was just a little bit of time with her but no. He had to have her all of the time and I wasn't good enough for her anymore.
But I think what really made me mad was when I walked into her den to find them embracing one another, locked in a passionate kiss. They almost didn't notice me; they were so engrossed in each other. I fled, and they didn't even care. Not that I cared at that time, but now that I think of it, it might have saved me from what I have become.
I ran to the only place I knew, the Junkyard. I hid in the car and for the first time in years, I cried. The tears just kept gushing down my face and into my paws. After what seemed like hours, I finally managed to contain my sadness. But the anger he had caused was overwhelming. I just couldn't contain myself any longer and I stormed out the Junkyard. It was his fault and he had to pay, there was nothing else to it.
I returned to where I had found them and they were now talking. As I spied, he was asking her to dance with him at the next ball. If I let that happen, there was no way I'd be able to ever win her back. So I walked out and stalked towards him, ignoring their surprised comments. I stood face to face with him, watching the fear grow in his eyes. I clasped my paws around his neck watching the panic engulf him. But as she pleaded for me to stop, I had to. I couldn't do it when her voice was that terror stricken, so fear drenched that it finally tore my heart into a million pieces. I released him and fled once again, but not to the Junkyard.
I ran beyond anything I knew, any trace of my life and left it there, anger and sorrow weighing down my steps until I finally stopped in an old, abandoned warehouse. There were other cats there, but I didn't care. I walked into the centre of all of them and asked if they would join me in taking back all that he had taken from me. Six accepted, while the others fled in terror of my threats.
From then on, I never bothered to groom my fur back, comb my whiskers or care about anything anymore. Now that she was his, I simply didn't care, I couldn't care. I plotted my revenge with every waking moment, savouring the sweet taste of vengeance, bitter sweet and sour, but rather to my liking.
I knew when the ball was and where so when the night finally came, I just watched and waited. I watched the both of them seeing their happiness. She didn't have a care in the world except for him, and I just couldn't accept it. When I felt the time was right, I revealed myself to them and had my henchmen take the leader.
I laughed at his panic, but I just couldn't watch her. She was fear stricken at the very sight of me but she didn't run like nearly all the rest. Where was her dearly beloved now? Instead, she told everyone how horrible I was, what awful things I'd done. After all I'd done for her; she just turned everyone against me, just like that. So I'd stifled a few pekes and stole some milk, it's not like she didn't know why I did it. But without hesitation, she turned all of them against me like it was a game of tag.
I disguised myself as their leader and went to them. All of them were fooled and they accepted me without thinking twice and I finally got to see her up close. But she knew me like she always did when we were kits and she revealed me. Then he came to fight me, to protect them but most of all, her. I tried to grab her but he fought me for her and another tom took her away. I chased him but carefully as her held her up and I couldn't risk hurt to her. He stood between her and me as he had always done and as soon as I looked into his eyes my old, burning anger returned and we began to fight.
Even though I concentrated on him, I could still see her, worried for him and wishing I was gone. In my mind, I convinced my self that she loved me too, but deep down I knew she would never even look at me again, never again. I finally threw him down to the ground, with all my strength to try to cause the pain he had caused me, so many times over. But that other tom came and scratched me on my side. I threw him down too, but it was then I realised that the pain that other tom had just caused me was different to what she had done. One scar healed, the other did not.
When I realised this, I hesitated and just like that, they all closed in on me. I ran and shocked the car so that I could make my escape, to hide the tears for them. I returned to the warehouse and killed the closest tom that happened to me out of my anguish. The others fled and once again, like always, I was alone. Never could I return to that Junkyard, never again could I look upon her face, never again could we talk or laugh together, never.
As I thought about revenge, I realised I couldn't attack again. My attack had only strengthened their relationship and all of my happiness, joy, sorrow, anger, jealousy and pain perished within me. All I had now was my love and I think that is what has kept me from insanity. I am now an empty shell, but my love still runs strong, and so it always will.
So here's my advice to any toms who wander into Jellicle territory, stay away from Munkustrap and especially Demeter, and away from love.