Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls.
In my recent re-watch of Gilmore Girls, I reached Season Six. I loved the fact that Emily and Richard went to such lengths to find a house for Luke and Lorelai. So inspired by the scene in the real-estate office and my immense love for both Lorelai and Emily Gilmore, I decided to add in a scene for the mother and daughter. I know it might seem like a reach for these two to talk about this and in this setting but go with it.
Lorelai listened on as her mother rambled on about how small town charm was good for the weekend but only a weekend, nothing long-term. Not even the images of her mother trying to fit into a small town with overly nosy neighbors who invited themselves over whenever could bring a smile to her face.
Instead the photos of the house before her – the house that her mother and father wanted to buy as a wedding present for her and Luke – just reminded her of everything that wasn't going to happen in her life. Based on the way that things were going, she and Luke were not going to get their middle. They weren't going to have a wedding, much less a marriage, so there was no need for a wedding present.
Lorelai had already admitted it to herself, that her dreams, her middle, her whole package, it just wasn't going to happen. No matter how much she wanted it for them. She just hadn't admitted it to anyone else. Well admitted it out loud while sober. That is until now.
"It's not gonna happen."
The words just fell out of her mouth. It's not as if she meant to say it out loud, especially not to her mother of all people. But she couldn't stop it. Although it was better to tell her mother now so she wouldn't waste time trying to secure this house for them.
Her eyes started to sting and she knew that meant a fresh batch of tears were forming. The tears usually only came at night when she was at home alone in the bedroom that she and Luke renovated. Lorelai sniffed back the tears that were threatening to fall and just hoped that her mother did not notice.
"What?" Emily asked. "Well, of course it will. If we have to pay more than the asking price, your father and I are totally prepared…"
"Luke and I, the wedding," Lorelai clarified, her face crumpled as she had to face the truth, "it's not gonna happen."
"What?" Emily asked, shocked by her daughter's admission.
Lorelai couldn't bear to look at the display of the house anymore. She looked down at her shoes as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat and tried to stop the tears from falling. The latter was inevitable. This time her sniffling did not go unnoticed by Emily. The harsh light in the real-estate office may have still slightly impaired her vision but it didn't affect her hearing. She walked up behind Lorelai, who had her arms wrapped protectively around her waist, and put her hand on her shoulder.
The gesture as simple as it may have was touching. At least for Emily Gilmore to display towards her daughter. Growing up, Lorelai realized that her mother was never big on showing too much affection. So something as simple as a shoulder touch at this moment and time was just enough to send her over the edge.
Lorelai threw her hand over her mouth just as a choked sob escaped. She shrugged off her mother's attempt to comfort her before she dashed out the door leaving Emily to wonder just what was going on with her daughter.
However it didn't take long after Lorelai's abrupt and brash exit for Emily to follow behind her. Albeit she moved slower than Lorelai due to her impaired vision and the shoes she was wearing. She wondered how Lorelai moved as fast as she did in the heels she was wearing.
Once outside the real-estate office Emily strode towards where the car was parked only to find that Lorelai was nowhere in sight. She was about to call out to her daughter when she spotted her. With the sky darkened, Emily's vision was slowly returning to normal. She could now make-out Lorelai seated on a wooden bench with her head in her hands as silent sobs wracked her body.
Emily sighed deeply before making her way towards her daughter. The chances of Lorelai actually opening up to her and telling her what was wrong and why the wedding wasn't going to happen were slim to none. But she could still try and be there to comfort her daughter. That was a mother's job. Even though she was never truly the comforting type or one to openly talk about her feelings, it had to due with the way she was raised, she would not let this opportunity to be there for Lorelai to slip through her fingers.
Lorelai desperately tried to stop the tears when she sensed her mother approaching. She shut her eyes tightly and took deep calming breaths hoping that would calm her down. She didn't like to appear weak. Least of all in front of her mother. The overwhelming scent of Chanel No. 5 and the weight of someone sitting down next to her let Lorelai know that her mother had now joined her.
Lorelai lifted her head from her hands. "I'm fine, you know. You don't have to sit here. I just need a few minutes."
Lorelai kept her eyes trained forward, not wanting to look at her mother. She wasn't openly sobbing anymore but hot tears still managed to roll down her face despite how much she tried to stop them.
"Nonsense Lorelai," Emily commented, she slipped her sunglasses from her head and put them into her purse. She grabbed a handkerchief from a pocket in her purse and passed it off to Lorelai. "You're crying, you're not fine."
"Thanks," Lorelai muttered as she dabbed at her tears with the handkerchief. "But really you don't have to sit here. I just need a few minutes then I can take you home."
"I'm not going to leave Lorelai," Emily stated plainly. "I'm not going to prompt you to talk because I know you probably won't tell me anyways but I am going to sit here with you. Just in case." She softened her voice. "I'm not going to leave you."
Lorelai leaned forward and put her head into her hands again. Today was an odd day. One moment she's rolling her eyes at her mother's ridiculous errands and choice in eye-wear and the next she's crying outside of a real-estate office with her mother trying to comfort her. Definitely an odd day.
When Emily noticed that Lorelai's body was shaking with sobs once again she reached out and placed her hand on her daughter's back. There was a moment of hesitation before she started to soothingly rub small circles on Lorelai's back, she didn't Lorelai to sprint away from her again while she tried to comfort her. She couldn't help but notice that Lorelai initially flinched at her touch but slowly settled into it.
Over the years Emily saw her fair share of moments when Lorelai was upset, a lot of them at her own hands, but never so much as she was now. Truthfully this was the longest amount of time that her daughter allowed her around while upset. For right now, it's all she could do to be there for her daughter. That was a mother's job, to be there for their kids.
Lorelai finally straightened back up causing Emily's hand to fall from her back. Her tears all dried up for now. She used the handkerchief and made another pass at her face to rid any evidence that she had cried. After a few minutes the handkerchief was dropped into her lap.
Lorelai sniffled then cleared her throat. "I can't believe you and Dad were thinking about buying us a house."
"Why not?" Emily asked. "You're not going to let me give you a wedding, I already know that. Your father and I still wanted to do something for you and Luke so we wanted to buy you a house as a wedding present."
Lorelai shrugged her shoulders, the why wasn't really worth getting into right now. "It doesn't matter. Not anymore. The wedding's not happening so there's no need for a present. No need for a new house."
"Lorelai..."
"It's a beautiful house, it really is. And so thoughtful," Lorelai replied still in disbelief over the amount of thought that went into her parents searching for a house. Not just any house but a house that was seemingly perfect for her and Luke. "But it's just not going to happen."
"Why is the wedding not going to happen? Did something happen with you and Luke?" Emily asked.
Lorelai finally turned to face her mother. "I thought you weren't going to prompt me to talk."
Emily blew out a breath. "Is is that strange that I want to talk to you? That I want to know what's going on in your life? That I want you to open up to me and let me in?"
"For you?" Lorelai asked rhetorically. "A little." When she noticed her mother's disapproving look, she continued on. "You've just never been the type to want to openly talk about your feelings. We've never been that mother and daughter."
"We're not like you and Rory."
Lorelai shook her head. "No we're not. We've established that before."
"I know it may be difficult to believe but I am your mother..."
Lorelai interrupted, "Difficult to believe that you're my mother? I always knew I looked suspiciously like the neighbor."
Emily rolled her eyes at the comment. "I mean, I am your mother. And though it may be difficult for you to believe I do want to help you. You rarely let me into the goings-on of your life but I want to be let in. I care."
Pod Emily. That's all Lorelai could think. Maybe when they botched her eye surgery they somehow altered her brain waves too. Her mother was reaching out to her and even going as far to try and comfort her by touching and rubbing her back. That was not Emily at all. They rarely hugged or showed any signs of affection towards each other. Yet here was her mother actually being motherly.
Perhaps even stranger than the fact that Emily was willing to listen and comfort her was the fact that she almost wanted to talk to Emily about this. She was tired of holding it inside and just allowing it to fester. She could feel it just bubbling underneath the surface and getting ready to spew. Maybe it would do her some good to talk about this. It might not change things but at least she wouldn't be keeping it all inside.
Lorelai decided the best tactic would to be to stare straight forward and not look at her mother. It would just make it easier for her to talk about Luke and the engagement that felt like it wasn't going to happen.
"I just feel like I'm not a part of his life anymore," Lorelai admitted. She shook her head when the realization hit her. "No. I'm not really a part of his life anymore."
"What do you mean?" Emily asked.
"I've felt him pulling away from me for months. He lives this separate life with April now that I'm not allowed to be a part of." Lorelai sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that he is there for April and that he's stepping up to be a father to her but it's just a part of his life that I'm not a part of. I'm just shut out."
"Does Luke know how you feel about this?" Emily questioned. "Have you talked about this with him?"
"He wanted time with her, time to wrap his head around the idea of having a daughter. I wanted to give him that time, I did give him that time. I even postponed the wedding because there was so much going on with him finding out about April and all," Lorelai replied. "But nothing's changing and the wedding is just not going to happen. It was perfect, I had everything planned out, and now it's not going to happen."
Lorelai shut her eyes tightly in an attempt to stop tears from falling once again. Her attempts were not successful as she felt the hot tears begin to roll down her face. She sniffled loudly and blinked back the tears.
Lorelai continued on before Emily had a chance to say anything. "And we talked before about how I felt the wedding wasn't going to happen but Luke promised me that it was going to happen. That we were going to get married and I thought he meant it. But nothing changed, I'm still shut out."
"I know that must be hard," Emily tried to sympathize. She knew the feeling all too well of not knowing about a part of someone's life. "Have you told him lately how you feel? Have you talked to him about how you feel you're being shut out? Does he know that?"
Lorelai shook her head. "I don't know. I'm afraid to push him too hard. I thought we had a breakthrough because I helped him with April's birthday party and I really bonded with her but then Anna found out and it all just blew up." She sighed deeply. "I'm tired of being patient."
"You never were a patient person," Emily pointed out. "Since the moment you were born you were never patient." She thought for a moment. "Well even before you were born since you couldn't even wait until your due date."
Lorelai couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at that comment. She turned to look at her mother. "I'm just tired of waiting Mom. I want to start a new phase of my life with him. Marriage, another kid, possibly a beautiful new house," she listed. "I just want all of that so much."
"And Luke is the one that you want all of this with," Emily inquired.
Lorelai nodded. "He's the only one that I that with. I really do love him. I don't know if I loved anyone until Luke. I know he might not have your approval but he is right for me and he really cares for Rory, you know that means the world to me." She swiped at her eyes at tears began to run steadily down her face. "But recently I'm just not happy. I feel crappy all the time and I hate that. I hate waiting and I'm just not sure how much longer I can do this."
Lorelai broke down into devastated sobs again. She hid her face from her mother as the sobs shook her body. It didn't really help that she was telling all of this to her mother who was probably the last person she would ever talk to in this manner. The realization that her mother was being motherly and trying to comfort her only served to make her cry harder.
Emily hated seeing her daughter this upset. She knew there wasn't much she could do for her daughter at this point but to sit her and try to comfort her while she cried. She tentatively wrapped an arm around Lorelai's shoulders to try and calm her down.
This wasn't the strong, outspoken Lorelai that everyone knew so well. She was weaker, more vulnerable, and just generally not happy. Emily hated that she had to see her daughter in such a position but at the same time it seemed like a step forward in their relationship. Her daughter had actually opened up to her and talked with her about her problems.
Emily alternated between having her arm around her daughter's shoulders and rubbing her back in small soothing circles until Lorelai's sobs finally subsided. Lorelai once again took the handkerchief and made a few swipes at her face.
"I wish I knew what to tell you to make this better," Emily spoke up, "But all I can tell you is that you need to talk to Luke. I mean talk, really talk to him. You need him to see your side of things."
"I know that I should, I'm just afraid of pushing him too hard and too fast because I could lose him," Lorelai replied.
"Sometimes people need a little push. Nothing's going to get better if you don't talk to him. You're only going to continue feeling like this unless you try to talk to him," Emily said. "I don't mean give him an ultimatum because those never work out but really try to talk with him. Let him know how you're feeling. Judging by his fashion sense, he doesn't always pick up on small things."
Lorelai rolled her eyes, of course there had to be a dig at Luke in there somewhere. But it was only something small, just his fashion sense. He did wear a lot of flannel which is something she could never imagine her mother in.
"Maybe you're right." Lorelai grimaced when she realized what she said. That was something her mother could hang over her head from now on. Maybe she would let it go though, given the situation. "I guess I can try to talk to him again."
"Talking to him is the only way you're going to come to a resolution," Emily replied. She lifted her hand from her lap and put it over her daughter's. "And if you really do love him and you're sure he loves you then I do want to see you two work this out."
Her eyes were still watery but a small smile did cross her face. "Thanks Mom."
Emily simply nodded in response and gathered her purse into her hands. "Are you ready to go now or do you need a minute? I can wait if you need me too."
Lorelai shook her head. "No need. I can take you home now."
"Are you sure?" Emily asked. "Because we can wait a few more minutes if you need the time. I don't have a reason to rush home."
"I'm fine Mom, really," Lorelai replied. She handed her mother the handkerchief back and stood up from the bench. "Come on, let's get you home so you can rest those eyes."
Lorelai stayed by her mother's side as they walked back towards the car. Emily climbed into the backseat while Lorelai got into the driver's seat. As Lorelai began the drive back to Hartford, the ride was quiet.
"If it's any consolation he still looks at you like you're a Porterhouse steak," Emily commented as she remembered the first time she ever met Luke. When she was so sure that they were together only to find out that they were only friends.
Lorelai initially gasped at the comment then she started to chuckle. "You remember that?" The words surprised her the first time she heard them and hearing them again just now was just as equal a surprise.
"I remember," Emily confirmed. "That look is still there. A little different, more loving than before. But it's still there."
Lorelai glanced up into the rear-view mirror. When her eyes connected with her mother's, she smiled softly. "Thank you Mom. For listening."
Emily smiled back, "You're welcome Lorelai."
I do have ideas for expanding beyond this and rewriting the end of Season 6 and Season 7 but for now this is a one-shot. Possibly going to stay a one-shot.
Anyways, I would love to hear some feedback.
Also the update for "Presenting a Wedding," should be up soon. I've been really busy lately but I do promise an update soon.