This was written as a request for my friend Darkflame. It was supposed to 1X2 sap, cut I couldn't help but throw a wrench in the works. Meaning that as usual, there is a lot of mention of a romance between Heero and Relena as well. No lemon, light lime at the end. If yaoi bother you, do not bother to read further as I will not bother to read any flames you send about it.
a Soldier's Future
written by NemKess
warnings: yaoi(1X2)
Knock.. Knock..
Duo frowned as he turned the TV down.
Knock. Knock.
Looking at the clock he wondered who it could be. It was a little late for a social visit.
Knock Knock.
With a sigh, he realized that whoever it was wasn't going away. He went and opened his door. For a minute he thought he was hallucinating. Violet eyes closed and he count to ten. But when he reopened them, Relena Darlian was still there in front of him clad in a t-shirt and jeans, her hair back pulled thought the back of a black ball cap.
"Take care of him," she whispered as she handed him a manila envelope. With a last long look, she turned and disappeared into the night.
He wasn't sure how long he stood there, gazing after her until the night chill forced him back indoors.
The envelope wasn't' especially heavy. Opening it, he dumped the contents onto the table. For the most part it was letters, each one with a different name on it. Sifting through the pile he also noted several official looking papers- one of which was her resignation from position of vice-foreign minister.
Spying a letter with his name on it, he quickly opened it, hoping it would at least tell him why she'd brought this stuff to him.
Duo,
I would imagine you are curious as to why I chose you rather than deliver these myself. The answer is simple. Of all those I know, you are the least likely to try and stop me. I feel certain that you will understand what I am doing or at least acknowledge my right to do so.
I have lived the last seven years of my life under someone else's ideal. In fact, as far back as I can remember, the only thing I've ever done on my own was fall for Heero.
Do you know what it's like to wake up one day and realize that you are nothing more than a puppet mimicking the words and actions you've bee fed all your life?
I need to find out who I really am, Duo. I'm tired of being a doll.
I know you love Heero as much as I do, just as I know he cares for you. Be with him Duo. Please don't let him go back into his cold shell. If you're not with him, I know the others will let it happen and I can't bear the thought. I'd rather lose him to you forever than to come back and see him as he was before.
Thank You,
Relena
Sitting the paper back onto the table, Duo leaned back with a sigh. Oh man, he thought. Heero's not gonna like this. Not one little bit.
His mind drifted back. He had gone back to the scrap yard and Hilde after the gundams were destroyed. He'd put Heero and the past behind him, intent only on making a future for himself and the girl of his dreams. And if he'd had occasional setbacks, missed Heero a little more than he should, well, it was okay. Like went on and he'd still managed to be happy. Until the day that Hilde didn't come home anymore. A freak accident, they'd said, but Duo knew the truth. The Shinigami jinx had struck again, taking yet another person he loved. It had taken a lot of time and effort, not to mention a lot of interference from Quatra, to get him out of his grief. Now he was back on track, even if he was alone.
Did he really want to risk messing that up? How could he do as Relena asked? His gaze settled on two of the various pictures adorning his wall. One was the five gundam pilots during the war, Heero cold and unsmiling, the Perfect Soldier through and through. The other of Heero and Relena just last year. The man was still unsmiling, but there was softening that was noticeable to one who knew what to look for. Then again, he thought, How could he not?
Duo hitched his pack more securely onto his shoulder before he stepped into the Preventer's Headquarters. There were a lot of people who were going to be upset about this, but it had to be done. And Relena was right, she did have a right to make her own decisions. And he did understand her reasoning. He wondered idly if anyone else would.
"Duo!" he turned to see Quatra heading his way, followed closely by Trowa and Lady Une. Oh well, he thought. Better to get this over with quickly. "Duo," the blonde Arabian repeated when he stopped. "Have you come to help us find Miss Relena?"
"Umm.. Not exactly," Duo mumbled. He really wasn't looking forward to this. At his companions' questioning look, he held out the manila folder to Lady Une. He'd already gone through and taken out all but the official papers and the letters to Une, Zechs, and Noin. He would deliver Heero's personally.
Lady Une stiffened as she read and looked up at Duo. "When and Where did you get these?"
With a miserable sigh, he replied. "The night before last. She dropped them off at my place on L2. I came straight here."
"Did she say where she was going? Give you any clue at all?" He shook his head. "I guess someone ought to go tell Heero then."
"I'll do it," Duo said. With a sigh, he stood and started off in the direction of the former wing pilots office.
Heero tensed and stared as a knock sounded at his door. He relaxed when Duo's honey browned hair and violet eyes peeked in. Though the others would gladly send him to do it, Duo had too much survival instinct to willingly come and tell him that Relena was dead. No, if they'd found her in that state, they'd send Quatra with his sympathetic eyes and soft heart.
"Duo." he said by way of greeting.
"Heero." The usually talkative boy took a seat uneasily. Heero couldn't help but wonder at it. Once upon a time, it would have taken at least a good punch to silence the braided baka. Not that he minded. During the war, Duo had been his main reminder that he was human. Only the pair of them, Duo and Relena, had ever drawn the wealth of emotions that had been buried during his training. Only they had believed that those emotions still existed.
Duo tossed a letter onto the desk. Heero stared at it. His name was scrawled across the front in a painfully familiar handwriting. Picking it up he stared at it for another moment before opening it and reading her words.
Dearest Heero,
I love you. I have since the first time I met you and will until I take my last breath. Never doubt that.
This isn't about us. This is about me. This is about the fact that everyday when I look in the mirror, I like the person I see less and less. How can you love me if you don't know me? And how can you know me if I don't know myself?
I am resigning my position as vice foreign minister. I need to find out who I really am. I need a chance to form my own ideals and opinions. How can I help you and the others uphold peace if I don't even believe the nonsense that I've been spouting for the last seven years? I can't.
I won't ask you to wait for me. I know that wouldn't be fair. I just ask that you remember that I do love you.
Love Always,
Lena
His fist clenched reflexively around the paper. She'd left. She'd left him. He shook his head to clear his vision. An unfamiliar wetness dampened the corners of his eyes. With a growl he wadded up the note and threw it into the trash. Fine. Who needed these stupid emotions anyways?
Certainly not him.
"So buddy, what's up?" Heero sighed with exasperation as Duo plopped onto the sand next to him. In the three months since Relena had left, the braided baka seemed to have decided he needed a babysitter. He couldn't turn around without running into his happy go lucky comrade.
He'd never admit it to Duo, but he was actually glad for the company. It helped to keep the lonely thoughts at bay.
"Hn.. " He had to hold back the smile that threatened when the violet eyed man frowned.
"Sheesh, why do I bother? You're as anti-social as ever." The rant was familiar one, and both knew not entirely accurate. He had come a long way in the years since his training with Dr. J. And he knew that he had Duo and Relena to thank for that.
Staring back out at sea, he sighed mentally. Relena. Where are you?
"Hello? Shinigami to Heero... Come in Heero.. Anyone there?" Heero's focus was brought back to focus by the hand waving in his face.
"Did you want something?"
"Yup. I was hungry and just happened to be passing by and figured, what the hey? I'd ask you if you wanted to join me."
Heero leaned back on his elbows. Now that Duo mentioned it, he was kinda hungry. He slid a side glance towards his companion. Why was Duo so determined to keep his spirits up? Sure, they were friends but so were Quatra and Trowa. You didn't see either one of them hanging around pestering him. It was almost as if Duo had made it his mission to keep him occupied.
His eyes narrowed as a thought occurred to him. Relena had seen Duo before she left. Could she have made Duo promise to look after him? His eyes slid back and he took in the other man's profile. Nah, he thought. Relena had always been more than a little jealous of his friendship with the braided man. She was convinced that Duo was in love with him and that he in turn cared for the baka. His eyes slid from the cheerful face and down the black clad body. His gaze rested on the thick brown braid. Okay, so maybe he did care for Duo. A little. Maybe a more than a little. Still, the very thought that they were more than friends really was ridiculous.
When his stomach growled, reminding him that he'd forgotten his breakfast, he stood and snagged that swinging braid.
"Come on, let's eat." Duo needed no further urging as he bounded up and the pair went to eat.
Duo sighed and leaned backwards, trying to work the kinks out of his back. He'd forgotten how taxing a game of basketball with Heero could be. At twenty two, it was even worse since they were in their prime. Well, he thought with a wince, Heero was anyways.
"Problem?" He looked up into a sea of Prussian blue. Those beautiful eyes. Eyes that had drawn him from the very beginning. "Duo?"
"Huh? Oh, nah. Just a little cramped. It's been a while since I did more than shoot hoops by myself."
Heero hesitated for a second before he shrugged and made the casual offer. "Do you want me to massage your back?"
Duo just stared. Heero. Willing putting hands on his back. Just the thought was enough to bring him pleasure. Celibate since Hilde's death and having been attracted to Heero for as long as he could remember, Duo had been suffering a lot more than his friends dry personality for the last several months.
"Sure, thanks buddy," he managed to choke out. He looked around Heero's living room. "Umm.. Where should I lay?"
The other man looked around too. "Well, you could lay on the floor, or the bed. Whichever."
Duo was suddenly having trouble breathing and forming coherent thoughts as the image crossed his mind. The two of them, alone on Heero's bed. He swallowed wondering if he should tempt fate like that. There would be no way he would hide his arousal if Heero touched his body, even in an impersonal manner.
A wicked grin crossed his face. There was no way he was passing up an opportunity like this.
With what he hoped was a pathetic sounding sigh, he preceded Heero into the bedroom. Pulling off his tank top, he lay down on his stomach and waited for his moment of paradise. Who'd have thought all those months ago, that he'd be thinking Relena for her request and disappearing act?
Heero approached the bed and sat down to one side. He cautiously straddled Duo's lower back and began working the tension out of the sleek muscles.
Duo was in second heaven. The feel of Heero's hands working their magic was pure bliss. Maybe that was why his good sense was suddenly overthrown by his desire.
He pushed back until Heero rose enough to let him roll over. "Heero.. " he murmured as he reached up and ran a hand across the other man's cheek. Prussian eyes darkened with an emotion somewhere between confusion and desire.
Reaching up with his other hand, Duo brought the finely chiseled face down to his own for a kiss. At first Heero stiffened, but gradually eased and even leaned into it.
"Heero," Duo breathed again. He pulled back, a question in his eyes. When Heero nodded, ever so slightly, he smiled tenderly and proceeded to show the other just good heaven could be.
Heero awoke to the unfamiliar feeling of another body pressed against his chest. Glancing down to see the pool of honey brown hair that covered them better than any blanket, he sighed. He didn't regret what had happened, but he wasn't sure he was ready to deal with the complications it would add to his life.
He still loved Relena, probably always would. But over the last several months, he'd come to realize something else. He loved Duo as well.
When the young woman came back, and Heero had no doubt that she would, he had no idea what he was going to do. Relena or Duo? Duo or Relena. Either way someone was going to get hurt.
The body cradled in his arms shifted and murmured in sleep. His eyes softened and he pressed a kiss to the soft hair.
No need to worry about it now. For now he would concentrate on this lively creature.
The future would take care of itself.
TBC???