What is Love?, a gakuen alice fanfic

Himeka: My first one shot in my entire life..This was inspired by Suikashan's one-shot letters of goodbye.

Mikan: Um..Character death?

Himeka: Yes..I never made a major character death…Nor a one-shot.

Mikan: Ah great ._.;

Himeka: I literally cried for 20 minutes reading that…Omfg, it was so sad…Ruka and Natsume sucked so badly in it ;…Ruka snapped at her and Natsume acted like a total JERK!

Natsume: What did you call me?

Himeka: -sticks tongue out- Mikan, please do the honors!

Mikan: Michi-chan doesn't own Gakuen Alice , but she owns this one-shot story!

Love Doesn't End At Death…

Love is a feeling that is never-ending.

Love is what I feel…

Towards you…

I love you forever…

Natsume…

"You're kidding me right…?" Mikan laughed nervously after hearing the news from Subaru Imai, the genius doctor of the Alice Academy, or in short, her best friend Hotaru's older brother.

Subaru looked down and didn't answer the shocked brunette. He knew that she would react similarly to this. Who wouldn't? Mikan realized that this wasn't an expression of somebody who would be joking. Plus, Subaru wasn't the type of guy who would joke around about death. Mikan felt her heart shatter into little tiny bits. Why did this have to happen…?

"That's why you should have checked what type of alice you had before overusing them." Subaru told the shocked brunette. Mikan just stood, speechless. She didn't know what else to say.

Just yesterday morning, she was fine and healthy. It was a normal day like any other…Until…During the night time, when she was wandering around because she couldn't sleep, she fainted. Luckily, Subaru happened to be passing by and saw her. He quickly treated her then took her to the hospital. Now, Mikan was fully conscious and it was really late at night.

Subaru had explained to her what situation she was in: she had overused her second alice. Even though it was just a normal stealing alice, most of the alices she stole were the fourth time. To add on to this, unlike Yuka's, her stealing alice was the fourth type alice overall. Her alice and the alices she stole were slowly eating away her life and she hadn't even noticed this. Subaru said that it was impossible to notice because she was using it too quickly to let her body get used to it. According to him, her current state was worse than Natsume's.

Mikan fell onto a nearby wall. She held her head as if her headache had started again.

"This can't be…Subaru-ni, you're not…joking are you…" Mikan repeated her question, wanting to be 100% sure. Subaru didn't reply. That alone, was answer enough for her. Mikan began to laugh as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

She couldn't believe such a thing was happening, after all she has been through, this was going to be it? It felt as if it had only been a day since she had arrived at Gakuen Alice thanks to Hotaru. Now…Her time here was going to end soon.

After a while of taking all of her emotions out, she looked calmly at Subaru with a serious expression.

"Subaru-ni, please don't tell anybody about this…Especially Hotaru…" Mikan whispered softly with a hint of pain visible in her voice. Subaru nodded.

"How long?" Mikan asked with a wince. Truthfully, she didn't want to ask this, she was too afraid to know the truth. By the looks of Subaru avoiding her gaze, it wasn't a good idea.

"One month at most…However…If you are to use any one of your fourth type alice again, it'll be the end of you the moment you use it." Subaru warned the girl. She just looked at the moon through the window that was directly opposite from her. Her eyes became empty. How was she going to break this to her friends? Better yet, would she be able to tell the flame castor her true feelings?

"Mikan, I'll promise you to not tell anybody only if you promise to not use your alice." Subaru suggested. Mikan began to walk away to her dorm. Then she stopped and without looking back, "make sure you don't tell ANYBODY."

*Next Morning*

"Ohayo minna~!" Mikan greeted the class as usual, with that big smile of hers. Only this time, it was fake. Too bad nobody noticed it though. After greeting the class, she saw Hotaru and jumped onto her.

BAKA BAKA BAKA

BAM

Once again, Mikan was shot away by Hotaru even before getting close to her. Mikan winced at both the pain she received from the bullet and her body condition in general. Because she didn't want Hotaru to notice, which she quickly would if she even showed the slightest chance of her pain, she pretended that the bullet was the only thing that had hurt her.

"M…mo……Hotaru, you meanie." Mikan groaned as Yuu helped her get up. So far, it had been normal. The only thing that didn't happen yet was her crashing into Natsume. Because he was nowhere to be found, it meant that he was on a mission. She sighed at the thought of it. Persona was so evil, even after offering to do missions FOR Natsume, he still sent him any ways.

Narumi came dancing in a few moments later and classes began. While Narumi was chattering away about grammar, Mikan tried to contain the pain that she was feeling. She knew that at this rate, she would have to go meet Subaru again.

Hotaru noticed her best friend's grave expression and knew quickly that something was going on…and it wasn't something that she going to like either.

After classes ended, Mikan quickly disappeared before Hotaru got the chance to question her. She found her way to the high school section and met up with Subaru, who was with Sakurano.

"-chan, what brings you here to the high school section?" Sakurano asked. Subaru sighed then grabbed onto Mikan's cloth's collar.

"Excuse us Sakurano, this girl and I have something to talk about." After getting the approval of Sakurano, the two left the building and went to the hospital.

They closed the door of the room they had entered. There was an awkward silence between the two. Subaru finally looked at Mikan, but he didn't want any explanations, he already knew what she wanted.

"The pain is getting unbearable hmm?" Subaru asked the young girl just to make sure. Mikan quietly nodded. She still had the grim expression on her face. Subaru sighed and looked at the girl who was trying to contain all of her painful agonies.

"You know, there is nothing I can do for you except to give you pain relievers…" Subaru told her truthfully.

"I know that, but I felt a bit safer to come meet you. I think Hotaru has already gotten a vague idea of what's going on." Mikan explained to the older boy with a disappointed frown. He just smirked, in an annoyed manner, at this.

"Tch. As expected from my younger sister." Subaru whispered to himself quietly. Mikan happened to hear this and giggled. Ah…the strong bond between siblings, how she envied them at times.

"Well anyways, sorry that this is the only thing I can do to ease your pain." Subaru apologized as he handed Mikan a handful of pills. She quickly gulped it down with some water that he had given to her a while later.

"Life is unfair…desho?" Mikan said in a sad tone. Subaru pretended as he didn't care when he was listening to every single word that the girl was saying. Mikan knew this and continued.

"I had so many things I wanted to do before I died but…" she said as her voice got quieter and quieter. She stopped when she mentioned the word death. This wasn't good for health, but wasn't her health the worst it can possibly be right now?

"When…will you tell them?" Subaru asked after a brief moment of awkward silence. Mikan didn't want to reply but she knew that Subaru wouldn't let her leave until he got an answer.

"I don't, they'll have to find out by themselves." Mikan said as she sat up and got off the bed she was sitting on. She turned the door knob then stopped.

"I hope…I can help them enjoy this time they have right now with me…" with that, the brunette exited the room.
Subaru sunk onto the bed and began to laugh softly to himself. How foolish and selfish this girl was. The more she acted like this, the more his younger sister would hate her after all had come and gone, but since when did he even care about that dumb inventor imouto of his?

"Life isn't fair…huh..?"

*Night*

"Argh." Natsume groaned as he secretly entered his room. He had gotten severely injured by an AAO member during his mission when he had let his guard down. That injury was going to leave a scar. He just hoped that nobody noticed it though. When he was about to lie down on his bed, he spotted a familiar young girl sleeping on it. He smirked and put a blanket over huh.

"Baka polka was waiting for my return huh?" Natsume whispered to himself with satisfaction. He changed his clothes and cleaned his cuts and injuries and began to sleep next to he girl.

He was going to wake up to a loud awakening for sure, but he wanted to sleep with her anyways. Because for one, he felt like it, and two, he had thing strange feeling…that this was going to be the last moment that he could enjoy with her…He felt that…she would…leave him soon.

Why is that? He asked himself. He couldn't sleep peacefully when such a thought was bothering him.

Why is it that…It feels as if she is going to leave me soon? He asked himself again. Then he looked at the girl's peaceful sleeping face. Or…it was supposed to be peaceful, however it looked as if she was in pain. He guessed that she was just experiencing a nightmare.

Why is it that I feel like she is going to leave me…Forever?

*Next Morning*
"EHHHHHHH?!" a screech could be heard throughout the entire academy in the morning.

Mikan had just woken up and she saw Natsume, who was sleeping right next to her, in the same room, on the same bed. Natsume lifted his eyelids slowly and growled.

"Shut up won't you polka? You probably woke up the entire school for crying out loud." Natsume groaned and closed his eyes again. Mikan just looked at the boy in disbelief. Wake up??? Was THAT the only thing he could say? For crying out loud, SHE COULD'VE LOST HER VIRGINITY TO THIS GUY YESTERDAY FOR ALL SHE KNOWS. Natsume guessed what she was thinking and sat up.

"Don't worry, I didn't do anything to you last night. Plus its your fault for sleeping on MY bed in the first place." Natsume told the brunette who was now blushing. Both of them got up and dressed separately in their own rooms in Natsume's special star room.

Once they finished dressing up, they left the dorms together and headed to class.

"Ne Natsume, did you go on…another mission yesterday?" Mikan winced. Natsume noticed this and felt his hand automatically going up to try and cover the scar had he had gotten. Mikan noticed both this reaction and the scar.

After seeing the scar, she gasped and suddenly grabbed his back.

"Natsume! You were hurt!" Mikan said in a panic. Natsume shook her off and continued to walk to class. Mikan puffed up her cheeks at his reaction and decided to drag him to Subaru. All the training with Persona since a few months ago was finally paying off: she could actually DRAG Natsume. The flame castor tried his best to resist the brunette and tried to continue to walk.

"Ngh..! Let…GO!" Natsume yelled at the girl who was trying her best to drag him without all of her strength.

"YADA!"

This argument continued until Ruka happened to walk by with his rabbit. He sweatdropped as he watched this scene. Sure they argued everyday but this was something that was new to him as well. Who knew that the fragile looking girl could actually match the Kuro Neko in terms of strength?

"Since when did you get this strong Polka?" Natsume said in an exhausted voice after the two stopped tugging on each other. Ruka had left the two to fight and went on to class. Of course by now, Natsume and Mikan were super late. As a result, they decided to ditch Jinno's class entirely for the day.

"Since Persona finished training me a few weeks ago." Mikan answered him, breathing hard. Natsume flinched at the sound of that man's name. He suddenly grabbed Mikan by the shoulders with wide eyes. This surprised Mikan, she hadn't expected such a reaction from him. The emotionless Natsume was actually surprised…better yet, worried.

"What do you mean you finished training with PERSONA? What the heck happened?" Natsume questioned the young brunette. She knew that he would find out sooner or later. However, she hadn't expected her own stupid, big, loud mouth to be the one telling him everything.

"Eto ne…Persona made a deal with me. If I trained for missions and then went to them, they'd be setting you free." Mikan explained shortly. Natsume looked very pissed now.

"I never TOLD you to do that for me you aho!" Natsume practically screamed at her. This began to scare Mikan a bit. She had never seen Natsume so angry before in her life. The only time she saw him this angry was the day she entered the academy. They had tricked Ruka into helping them with the Northern Forest trial and ticked Natsume off by doing so.

"Well, I know THAT, but I couldn't help myself...!" Mikan told the angered raven haired boy. Natsume just slapped his forehead and began to curse at either himself or Persona. It could've been at Mikan's stupidity but Mikan didn't want to think like that.

"Listen, tell him that the deal is OFF ok?" Natsume told Mikan after regaining his calmness. Mikan stood up and looked at him with anger on her face.

"I don't go back on my words that easily. Plus I don't want you to waste away your life like that by using your alice. These missions are practically KILLING you Natsume!" Mikan yelled at him and ran off. Natsume didn't bother to run after her. He was tired of the argument from a few minutes ago. Plus he didn't have the energy to yell at her, all the energy he had was currently to beat the heck out of Persona. He remembered that he had warned Persona almost EVERY SINGLE DAY, don't touch Mikan.

As if this was his cue, Persona entered the scene with a smirk. Natsume quickly noticed his presence and glared at him in fury.

"Damn teacher. Didn't I warn you before to not lay a hand on her?" Natsume growled in a threatening tone. Persona continued to smirk at him. Natsume already knew the answer to the question: obviously Persona did remember but he didn't care.

"She is more amazing than you my dear Kuro Neko. She is very useful to the academy. It would be a waste to ignore her talent. As expected from Yuka-sempai's daughter." Persona told him. Natsume had a strong urge to rip off his head here and now but he refrained himself from doing so. After all, he didn't want to make any more trouble for himself.

"You have a mission, it'll be your first partner mission with koneko-chan. Don't worry, she won't slow you down. Just make sure that YOU don't slow her down." Persona told him then disappeared without a trace, leaving Natsume to curse at him in hatred.

How could he have let Mikan fall into the same darkness as he was in?

How could she smile like that after going through so much?

Unless…

The smile of hers was fake…

*Later During the Mission*

"Mikan are you sure you're ok with this." Natsume asked her in worry. Mikan sighed in annoyance. She couldn't keep track of just how many times that the boy had asked this. She knew that he was very worried about her well-being, which was surprising, but wasn't this taking it a bit too far? She was a big girl now, she could take care of herself perfectly well.

"If you have time to worry about me, you should worry about yourself. And I TOLD you, this isn't exactly my FIRST MISSION." Mikan reassured him. The last sentence made Natsume twitch a bit. It was hard for him to believe that such an innocent girl like Mikan was killing people in missions.

"Don't worry I didn't kill anybody." Mikan said, guessing what was bothering him in his mind without the use of the mind reading alice that she had taken not too long ago. Natsume ignored her and they continued their way to the AAO headquarters.

Once they arrived, it was completely silent and empty.

"This is strange, why isn't nobody here to guard the base?" Mikan said curiously. Natsume thought the same thing: This mission was a bit too easy.

This made him a bit uneasy after they had retrieved the CD Persona had told them to bring back. They walked out of the base and put their guards down for a second. When they did so, daggers of ice came hurling at them. Natsume pushed Mikan out of the way just in time.

"Tch, I knew that this was a bit too easy for my liking." He murmured to himself as he got off of Mikan quickly and activated his fire alice. Mikan hesitated after being attacked. She would've readied herself but then she remembered Subaru's words:

"How long?" Mikan asked with a wince. Truthfully, she didn't want to ask this, she was too afraid to know the truth. By the looks of Subaru avoiding her gaze, it wasn't a good idea.

"Mikan, I'll promise you to not tell anybody only if you promise to not use your alice."

They just HAD to attack didn't they? Mikan thought to herself. She didn't know what to do. She had to prove it to Natsume that she could take care of herself but she didn't want to kill herself by trying to prove it. That would be plainly foolish.

"Mikan, we're going to make a run for it. With you around I can't really battle this guy." Natsume told Mikan. She had no chance but to agree with him. After a three second countdown, they made a run for it to the academy with the enemy right behind them.

He was a boy around their age with cold, empty eyes. What had the AAO done to this boy? She couldn't help but look back and pity him in her head. Natsume realized this as well but tugged Mikan a bit so that she would pay attention.

Soon, when they arrived at the academy, they saw fire all over the place: they were under attack.

"Damn it, the CD was just a decoy to get us away from the academy while they made their attack." Natsume cursed. Mikan gasped as she saw the academy buildings going down in flames. The boy that had been chasing them for a while finally caught up with them. Natsume protectively hid Mikan behind him and got his fire alice ready.

"Mikan, I want you to go find the others. I'll take care of this guy." Natsume told her.

"No way! I'm not going to leave you alone to fight!" Mikan complained with disbelief clearly visible across her face. Natsume gave her a small smile.

"Don't worry, I'll beat this guy and go straight back to you guys."

Mikan couldn't help but give in. She had never seen Natsume smile before. This gave her no choice but to do as he wished. Mikan quickly ran away without turning back. The only thing she could hear was the sound of ice dagger wooshing through to Natsume and the raven haired boy's flames crackling sounds as it burned the ice.

A tear escaped her eyes, something that she had tried hard to hide from Natsume all this time. She was scared. She wasn't scared about her safety, she was scared about Natsume. She didn't want him to get hurt…

After a while of running, Mikan came across an unburned building that was being protected by an ice barrier. There were a handful of fights that were taking place around the building but it seemed like the academy was winning.

Mikan saw Nobara concentrating to keep the ice barrier up, it was the only way to protect everybody from both the attacks and the fire. She gripped her hands tightly and ran to the building soon after all the AAO members near it were defeated. Nobara smiled slightly after the sight of the younger girl but then she quickly tried to ignore it after seeing how the ice barrier began to melt the moment she diverted her attention to Mikan.

"Well koneko-chan, where is Kuro Neko?" Persona asked when Mikan arrived at the front of the building. Mikan frowned at the sound of Natsume's name and winced. She hoped that he was alright. She had no choice but to tell Persona about the situation they were in before she came running back.

"Natsume got into a fight with this really strong guy with an ice alice." Mikan began. Persona didn't need any more explanations. To add on to that, the sonund of her friends' voices interrupted her.

"Mikan! You were ok!" her best friend shouted in relief. Hotaru had thought that the AAO had gotten their hands on Mikan when she was nowhere in sight. Narumi and the other teachers had assured her that she was ok but who was she to believe any of the adults? They shouldn't be trusted. Especially Persona.

"Hotaru! Yokata! Daijobu?" Mikan asked in a worried tone. Hotaru nodded. The others , Ruka, Koko, Nonoko, Anna, Mochu, Yuu, and Sumire, were all behind her by now.

"Ne minna, lets go save Natsume, I have a feeling that he is in big trouble!" Mikan said in a frightened voice. As soon as they heard this, the group of kids made a run to the direction Natsume and the other boy was fighting at regardless of the teachers' orders. Persona hadn't even tried to stop them, rather, he was very amused about it.

Narumi was very disappointed when they completely ignored him and left the other students in Misaki-sensei's care and followed after the group.

Once they arrived, they saw a badly injured Natsume and a silver haired boy who was just about ready to make the finishing move. Before this could happen, Mikan got in between them.

"YAMETE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she used counter alice against the boy to reflect off his attack.

B-bmp

Ah… Mikan stood still in a paralyzed pose as she was sitting in front of Natsume protectively. On the other hand, the boy's attack was bounced off resulting to a counter that did serious damage to him, which knock him out cold.

B-bmp

Mikan couldn't feel any thing anymore. Her vision began to blur.

Shimata….

Mikan slumped down onto Natsume who was in shock. He hadn't expected Mikan to use such an alice. He hadn't even expected the girl to knock the tough boy out. However, what really shocked him was that…she fainted…Or that was what he thought.

"Mi…kan?" the boy whispered the girl's name softly, still in shock. Mikan groaned and looked up to him with sad eyes.

"Natsume..Yokata.." she whispered in a voice that was even quieter than his. All the others were watching this scene with confusion. They had absolutely no idea what had just happened. They didn't even know that she had completely mastered her other alice.

"Mi…kan…Whats wrong…Are you ok? Subaru…I'll go get Subaru…" Natsume said. He began to speak quicker and quicker. He could feel Mikan's heart beat slowing down and her breath becoming unsteady. His premonition was right…

"No…" Mikan whispered as she laid one of her hands on his shoulders to refrain him from getting up.

"Stay…" She ordered him weakly. Natsume looked with a devastated face. He had no clue what to do. He wanted to bring Subaru here so that he could heal her but then Mikan wasn't letting him…

B-bmp

"Natsume…" she said. The moment she began, Nobara appeared with Subaru at her side. The fire was put out thanks to a few kids with the water alice while all the remaining AAO members were finished off by Persona with ease. They were like ants to him.

Nobara had a bad feeling when she saw Mikan running off, so she thought it would be a good idea to bring Subaru along and boy was she right. Natsume also noticed Subaru.

"Imai…Quickly…Mikan…She's….She's acting strange…Do something!" Natsume yelled at Subaru. Subaru only shook his head and tried to avoid the painful gaze that Natsume was giving him. Hotaru and the others looked back and forth from Subaru and Natsume. There was something going on here and it wasn't pretty.

If Mikan was just a bit injured or tired, Subaru would've gone up to her and healed her…But then why did Subaru remain in the same spot? Why did he look sad? Why did he look…So guilty?

B-bmp

Hotaru figured out the situation and then ran up to her brother.

"Subaru..Please don't tell me…Mikan is going to be ok…ne? Subaru…" Hotaru repeated as she looked up to him. She grabbed onto his clothes tightly and gave him a look of disbelief and panic, the same face that Natsume wore right now. Subaru didn't answer his younger sister and continued to look away from the others.

"Subaru…Answer me…Subaru…Subaru! SUBARU!" Hotaru yelled as the tears that were threatening to fall finally came out. Nonoko, Anna, and Sumire gasped when they saw how pale Mikan was right now. Narumi was speechless, he knew that she was in terrible condition but she didn't know still on why Subaru wasn't treating the poor girl. Koko read the mind of Subaru and went into temporary shock. The other children began to ask him on what he had read in Subaru's mind. However it was no use, Koko was in a complete state of shock. He couldn't think straight anymore.

"Natsume…I'm really sorry…that I couldn't help you out a bit more…" Mikan whispered. Her voice was getting softer and softer. Natsume couldn't take this any more. His tears began to leak out from his eyes: the first time he had cried for the sake of a girl other than his family. And as if the heaven was crying too, it began to rain. The only thing that could be heard was Hotaru's cries, the sound of rain crashing down onto the floor, and Mikan's heartbeat that was slowing down bit by bit.

"I have one thing…to tell…you…"

B-bmp

Mikan said trying to keep herself awake. Her eyes were threatening to close any minute now. Her voice got so soft that Natsume had to lean his ears to right next to her lips. He wanted to know what she wanted to say.

B-bmp

"Watashi….Omae….Aishi…te…" Before she could finish, her body went limp and she blacked out. Natsume could feel his body go numb. Mikan's body fell to the ground like a rag doll that was thrown away. Everybody stood silently. Nobody spoke a word. Nobody wanted to speak. Nobody DARED to speak.

All was silent...Now the only noise was the drops of rain. No cry, no heartbeat, no nothing.

……..

"Mi…kan…"

"Watashimo…"

"I…love you too…" Natsume whispered as he dug his face into Mikan's chest. He screamed out in agony. His painful shout was heard throughout the academy. This was the sign that it was finally over. Everything had finally ended.

"Ne Natsume, what is…love to you?" Mikan had asked Natsume all of a sudden after classes ended

"Hmmm? What a stupid question." Natsume just said as he continued to read his manga.

"Welllllll?" Mikan asked with a frown on her face, she wanted to know his definition of love really badly.

"Love is…an unneeded emotion." He answered as his bangs covered his eyes. He remembered the first time he felt love, with his family.

"Souka?" Mikan said as she relaxed. Her expression changed into an unreadable one.

"What's wrong with you today?" the raven haired boy asked.

"You see Natsume…" the brunette began.

"???" the boy looked at the girl.
"My definition of love is…One who you are willing do die for…" she whispered softly.

"Die for…?" he repeated her.

"To me, it means…an emotion that is everlasting…A feeling that you can never forget once you have felt it…" she explained so that he'd understand it a bit better.

"Your point?" he asked, he still had no idea why she had brought this up in the first place.

"The one I love with all my heart…" she whispered. the last part was too soft for Natsume to hear. To add on to that, her voice was silent compared to the sudden breeze that blew the moment she whispered the last part.

"W…What?" he asked when he thought that he had heard something unexpected.

"I love Na…."

"Did you say something?" Natsume asked again when he couldn't hear her clearly again.

"Iia…Its nothing…Hey Natsume, lets go play! We should live our life to the fullest so that we don't regret anything!" she said suddenly changing the subject. She wore a big grin on her face and began to drag Natsume out of the classroom.

"Baka…" he whispered with a smile that was very small. This went unnoticed by the dense little girl.

Mikan, watashi omae hontou aishiteru…You're my one and only…The person I can love forever no matter what happens…

Natsume looked up to the sky; his tears were hidden by the rain drops that were falling onto his face gently, yet harshly.

See you soon…and….

I love you…

O*#&^()*^*#&(!*&! I hate myself for doing this…I'm not even good at writing sad fan fictions for crying out loud! I still hope you enjoyed it…That my friends, was my first ever one shot in my entire life…And also my first fan fiction with a major character death…As I said, I wrote this because I was inspired by another one shot story that I came across. Hope you liked it, PLEASE REVIEW If you don't, I'LL THINK THAT MY ONE SHOTS SUCK AND WON'T WRITE THEM ANYMORE! Oh yeah…CHAPTER 3 OF I LOVE YOU AND YOU ONLY WILL BE UP BY NEXT WEEK FOR SURE, POSSIBLY THIS WEEKEND!