She stood at the gate to sector five. Tifa doubted that anybody knew that she still had hold of the gate key they had dug up all those years ago. Cloud knew that she came here every year, but he would have stopped her if he had known she went inside the city. The gate hinges squealed as she opened it, a few more years and the rust would disintegrate as she opened them.
A slow walk took her through sector five and she glanced around at the place she had known so well. The church made her smile when she saw it, the one place that had not started to fall. Aeries' spirit sat here. Tifa had learnt a lot from Nanaki, although she had been absorbed into the life stream Aeries had the power to make something else grow in her place. It suited Tifa to believe she lived here. The flowers still grew as strong as ever, light still streamed in through the window and the broken roof still let in the rain to nourish the soil. She spared a thought for the girl who had given her life for the rest of the world. Tifa had never really got on with Aeries, she was nice enough but the love that Cloud had begun to feel for her seemed to occlude any he felt for Tifa. That was what Tifa could never forgive. Still, she acknowledged the sacrifice, the girl was a real hero, she gave her life for people who would never know.
Tifa wondered if Aeries knew that she was still coming between her and Cloud over five years later. She picked a few flowers. Cloud was kind to her, in his own way he loved her, she had kept him together and he knew it. It was the what ifs that still clutched at his heart. They had slept next to each other only one night after he defeated Sephiroth, he had reached for her and called her Aeries. She had never shared his bed again.
Tifa walked out of the church and through the market. She reached the gate to sector seven. Everything she had, had here was gone. All gone. Biggs. Wedge. Jessie. The seventh heaven. She lay four flowers in front of the gate. They had tried to dig everyone out after Meteor but a general consensus was taken to let the dead rest in peace. She had screamed at Cloud for that, hit him too, and would have kept doing so if Barret hadn't dragged her away from him. He didn't even change his expression, just let her keep pummelling away. She knew that he considered her his responsibility now, he loved her, but wasn't in love with her. That's why she had rejected him when he asked her to marry him.
Yuffie had openly laughed in her face when she had told her and called her a fool. Only Vince had seemed to understand, but he'd lost a love to someone else as well, Lucrecia had loved Sephiroth more than anyone. Tifa would be no-one's second place. She looked at her watch and sighed. She was supposed to be heading back to Kalm, as one of the heroes of the revolution she was certainly useful to help bring peace back to these places when required. She missed Nibelheim though, it was her place of serenity, the only place where Cloud was hers and hers alone. She turned and started to make her way back to her Chocobo.
*
'Why did she say no? I don't get it.' Cloud shook his head. Barret threw a quick look at Cid who grinned at him, leaving him to field the question. Barret opened his mouth to answer.
'You don't love her.' Said a quiet Vincent from the doorway. Cloud looked up and anger clouded his eyes.
'And what would you know about it?' Vincent shook his head.
'Why did you ask her?'
'It was about time I did.' Cloud snapped. 'She's been waiting long enough.'
'That would be your answer then Cloud. Ask yourself where the love is in that statement.' He walked out of the door.
'Wait! Wait!' called Cloud struggling to rise from the chair where he had curled himself. He reached the door and looked out. 'He's gone again. I hate it when he does that.' He looked towards the floor and then at Barret. 'Is he right?'
'Why are you asking me? I ain't never understood you.' Cloud shook his head and asked them both to leave. He watched their backs as they left. Tifa was supposed to be coming home tonight, the Highwind was supposed to be leaving for her in a few minutes. Truth be told he wanted to be with Tifa more than anyone right now, she was his secure base, he could confront the world at her side. It was times like now, when she was gone, he started doubting himself. It was times like now when he most missed Aeries. He hated the way he was, Tifa was so good to him, but he couldn't change. There had been times when she had screamed at him only to break down into floods of tears but he took her as she was. He knew what he had to do.
*
Cloud watched Tifa climb up the old wooden ladder, her long dark hair being blown in the breeze. She kept her premium heart on her hand, she always did when she went outside Nibelheim, the outside world frightened her more than she would care to admit. She looked at him and sat down on the slats.
'It's been a while since we were up here.' She said quietly. Cloud nodded.
'Thought we could have a real talk, like we used to.' She looked at him oddly.
'What more is there to say?' He bowed his head.
'You mean aside from the fact that you think I don't love you?' Her head turned sharply towards him, the shock on her face suddenly broke into a joyous laugh. She flung her head back and giggled to the stars.
'What's so funny?' He asked in annoyance.
'Cloud, I'm not so naïve as you seem to believe me to be.' She sighed and her mirth faded. 'You think I don't know you at all. Believe me I know you better than anyone. I know who it is you love.' She spat the last sentence at him.
'Aeries?' He shook his head. 'No, Tifa, you can't be jealous of Aries.'
'Jealous? You think it's jealousy? God you don't know me at all!' She stood up. He couldn't understand why she was so angry. She slowly walked around to the ladder. 'She's a barrier Cloud. One you have put up to keep me away from the real you, you may mouth the words but you won't love me. But remember Cloud I know the real you, I pieced it back together when it was shattered. People say they know you, but I saw you… I saw, Cloud. You may fool everyone else but not me.' She made a move to go down the ladder.
'I'm frightened of you Tifa!' He said nearly inaudibly, she stopped and stared at him. Slowly she knelt down next to him.
'Say that again.'
'I'm frightened of you. You don't seem to understand, I have done only one thing right in my life and I killed Sephiroth. I don't want to hurt you too much when I make things go wrong for you.' He turned his head away. 'I love you, it's easier if Aeries comes between us, I can't hurt her again.'
'No but you can hurt me. And you are, if you are in love with me, tell me and I'll stay. If you don't, you'll never have to see me again.' He turned to her and put his hand on her cheek.
'I can't be without you. You are everything to me, I do love you Tifa. Please see that.' She gazed into his eyes, they glowed with a hint of mako. Her breath trembled as she brushed his lips with hers and she felt his hand shake in response to the kiss.
*
The flowers in the church thrived.