AN: alright new short multichapter. I'm getting over being sick and my girls are sick and frankly the shopkins YouTube videos are making me insane. This is meant to be fun. Let me know what you think :)

I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead

Chapter 1

"Gather round gentlemen"

The assembled group gathered in the room glanced at each other curiously.

"Tara..what the hell is going on?" Glenn huffed slightly exasperated.

"Sit, sit" Tara said indicating the floor in her room "I will explain all." She said in gypsy accent.

Glenn watched as Eugene sat on the floor obediently, Carl shrugged and sat down as well. Abe glanced at Glenn in confusion and perched on the window ledge and Eric sat on a chair in Tara's room, while Glenn sat at the foot of Tara's bed.

"I've gathered you all here tonight because for lack of a better term, you're all my bitches." Tara said gleefully tapping her fingers together in a way that reminded Glenn of from the Simpson's.

"I barely know you." Carl said confused.

"I believe the term you're looking for would be minion." Eugene said nodding.

"I ain't your bitch" Abe grunted.

"I'm just happy to be invited." Eric said giggling.

"Tara" Glenn sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose. "What is this all about? Why the secret invites?" Glenn pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket reading the message.

"Your mission should you choose to accept it is to meet in the room of the hottest lesbian you know, tonight, 8 pm. Don't be late, destroy this message by eating it once read... You really think we would eat paper?." Glenn asked.

"We were not supposed to?" Eugene asked confused.

"Patience my friend, all will be explains." Tara said from her perch on her bed. She turned towards Carl "This involves you, and you would make a good minion." She turned toward Abe "As do you Seargent Carrot top," she turned toward Eric "and I just think your the cutest, we could rule this group of minions together."

Eric smiled "oh how sweet."

"Tara, get on with it," Glenn sighed.

"Alright, and I noticed you didn't argue that you're my minion...smart man. Glenn you're part of the reason we are here. We've all been through hell and back, and I see something in you that's disappearing. You're ability to have fun, those of you gathered in this room are people whom having fun is important, having fun by...causing mischief, and maybe giving another part of the group what they need."

"What? I'm confused." Carl asked.

"We are going to get our two alpha males and Alpha females, Carl cover your ears...laid." Tara said

"I know what laid means Tara." Carl said sarcastically.

"Dude...when I say cover your ears do it." Tara said

"Why exactly would we do this? " Abe said.

"Ok, just to be clear we are talking about Carol and Daryl and Rick and Michonne... because we've lost fun, they've lost feelings. We will pull Rick back from crazy town, Michonne will stabilize him, I don't any of us want a repeat of the Jessie catastrophe, and Daryl will get his head out of his ass. Carol can stop wearing her undercover costume, and put on those tight jeans I brought for her, from the last run." Tara sighed looking off in the distance.

O"So if we were to agree to this, I can't believe I'm even saying this, how would we do this?" Abe said.

"Simple, we need to provoke anger in Carol, fear in Daryl, annoyance in Michonne and jealousy in Rick." Tara said. She continued on despite the confused looks she was receiving "Carol, needs to feel and get angry, right now she can't feel anything. We need to shock her system. Daryl needs to be terrified that he will lose Carol. Jealousy won't work it will de evolve into emo man pain. Rick need to get jealous so he realizes his true feelings for Michonne, and Michonne needs to get annoyed that Rick is acting like a douche."

"I must be stoned." Glenn sighed

"Why?" Carl asked curiously

"Because this is starting to make sense." Glen sighed "what do you want us to do?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What?!"

"You said nothing that involved male nudity on the invitation." Eugene muttered.

"Not your nudity,nobody in this room wants to see that, not that someone somewhere doesn't want to see it." Tara said quickly when Eugene's face fell.

"No one wants to see Daryl naked either." Glenn muttered

"Speak for yourself" Eric piped up.

"Alright, almost no one wants to see Daryl naked. It's creepy, I feel like I would wind up on an episode of sixty minutes. I can't just strip Daryl and Michonne down naked when they are drunk and throw them in bed together." Glenn muttered.

"Alright, your right, leave in their underwear...lowers the ick factor, then we maneuver Rick and Carol in to finding them. And tada... Instant love triangle, or square." Tara finished

"Or rectangle." Eugene finished

"Thank you Eugene.." Tara said "Easy peasy alright Bitches...who's in?"