Going Back to Portland: Part One

by frostyfreezyfreeze54

When one of Jaylynn's old enemies challenges her to a fight, she decides to go with the boys to her old hometown to answer back.

1. Going Back to Portland Part One Script

Thank You, Heavenly

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 4

EPISODE 16

Airdate: June 27, 2016

"Going Back to Portland: Part I" (Season Finale)

Special Guest Stars: Sabrina Carpenter as Sarah Bennett, Soni Nicole Bringas as Sonja Peterson, Skai Jackson as Legs, Isabela Moner as Skylar "The Equalizer" Davenport

SCENE 1

The Hernandez Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn's alarm goes off at 7:45 A.M., but she simply turns it off and goes back to sleep. An hour later, she yawns, smacks her lips while scratching herself, rubs her eyes, and looks at the clock which reads 8:45.

JAYLYNN: Holy shit, I overslept!

Jaylynn takes off her blanket, leaves her room and tries running towards the bathroom but she trips over a red ball in the hallway.

JAYLYNN: I knew I shouldn't have let Buster play ball without someone watching him.

Jaylynn tries to brush her teeth but she realizes that the toothpaste tube is empty.

JAYLYNN: You have to be kidding me. Damn, I hate mouthwash. Always makes my mouth feel slimy.

Jaylynn reluctantly grabs a glass and uses the mouthwash, then is later seen leaving the house without her history notebook. She puts her bag in her car then drives off.

SCENE 2

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

The boys are leaving Mr. Frax's class along with everyone else.

RK: So what movie are we seeing today?

BUSTER: I thought we were going to Ike's today.

WADE: That was yesterday, Buster.

BUSTER: No, it wasn't. We couldn't go to Ike's because of the thunderstorm, so we took a rain check. Pun intended.

SPARKY: Okay, let's compromise. Ike's today, movie some other time. I mean, where are the movies really gonna go anyway?

RK: Crap, I was really looking forward to the movies. I was going to go to the cashier with all this money and trick them into thinking I was going to buy something.

WADE: Why do that?

RK: Remember, I'm not a big fan of the movie theatres? You know, that whole thing with us stealing the movie?

BUSTER: Oh yeah, that was pretty funny. Wait, no. It wasn't.

Jaylynn walks up to the guys with an annoyed expression.

JAYLYNN: Hey guys.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, what happened to you? You're late.

JAYLYNN: Wow, I didn't know that, Sparky. Sorry, I'm just really pissed off right now. I know I set my alarm but I don't remember turning it off. I even forgot to put on my hat. Just another crappy morning in the life of Jaylynn.

BUSTER: Don't worry, buddy, things will get better soon.

JAYLYNN: I hope so. Today's a big day. I have the basketball championship for gym, a history test I'm nervous about and it's mystery food day in the cafeteria.

WADE: What's the big deal about mystery food day?

JAYLYNN: Is it meat? Is it fish? You never know what you're gonna get. You should know this by now, Wade, haven't you all been in this school for ten freaking years?

RK: Well, look on the bright side, Jaylynn. With all these events, things are definitely going to get better.

JAYLYNN: You think so?

RK: I assume so, I always just get sad whenever I come here.

SCENE 3

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Freddie Benson Gymnasium

Seattle, Washington

It is now time for the basketball championship but Jaylynn's sitting on the bench.

JAYLYNN: Are you kidding me, Ashley? How come I'm on the bench?

ASHLEY: There are too many players that need to play the first half. Don't worry, Jaylynn, you can sub in the second half.

JAYLYNN: A sub? Really? Just a reserve? I'll never get points against the second-half team. *sighs* Just calm down, Jaylynn, it's okay. Everyone knows first is the worst, second is the best. If I can score on those guys, I'll be a hero.

Later on in the second half, Jaylynn tries to drive down the court for a layup while Ashley and Halley are wide open, but the ball is smacked out of her hand before she can complete the move and she falls on the floor. The whistle is then blown.

HALLEY: Jaylynn, what was that? My hands were up.

JAYLYNN: I was trying to get us back in the game.

HALLEY: By playing hero ball? Really?

ASHLEY: Halley, this isn't the time. Alright, we're only four points behind with two minutes left. What's the worst that could happen?

With only fifty seconds left, Jaylynn's team is now twelve points behind.

ASHLEY: You know what, I'm just going to shut up and let things happen.

Ashley gets the sideline pass from Halley and tries to drive, but she ends up getting blocked by Will. Out of desperation, she passes to Jaylynn. Halley is once again wide open, but Jaylynn goes for a three-pointer and the ball is swatted away by the opposing team. The ball is then returned for an easy layup, which the kids cheer for.

HALLEY: I'm going to kill Jaylynn in the locker room.

Later on, the girls are getting dressed in the locker room.

HALLEY: Well, Jaylynn, thanks for absolutely nothing.

JAYLYNN: You do realize we were already losing before I stepped in, right? Maybe next time, you should make sure you can actually play defense instead of standing around like some paralyzed stick figure.

HALLEY: And maybe next time, you should actually try passing the ball instead of struggling with your jump shot!

JAYLYNN: I tried passing you the ball at least six times. How come you never caught it?

HALLEY: BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS PASSED IT TO THE OTHER TEAM!

ASHLEY: Are you guys done? Because I really don't want to take more aspirin than I actually have.

JAYLYNN: You know what? It's fine. Sanna was sick, we could have used her points. But it doesn't matter. The day is still young and I still have a chance to pass my...history test?

Jaylynn realizes her history notebook is not in her backpack.

JAYLYNN: Ah, f*** my life.

ASHLEY: What's wrong, Jaylynn?

JAYLYNN: I left my history book at home. Now I can't do any last-minute studying.

HALLEY: Well, you know, if you had actually studied beforehand, you wouldn't have this problem.

JAYLYNN: Bitch, don't act like you weren't texting me last night asking me about what might be on the test.

HALLEY: You win this round, Huie.

SCENE 4

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Lunchroom

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn and Buster are in the lunch line near the front.

BUSTER: So has your day gotten better?

JAYLYNN: No. My team got blown out in the championship and I don't know about that history test.

BUSTER: What do you mean, you don't know about it?

JAYLYNN: I don't want to say I failed it, but I don't want to say I passed either. It was a learning experience, I'll leave it at that. I wonder what the mystery lunch is.

The lunch lady removes the lid from the tray to reveal Jamaican beef patties.

JAYLYNN: Ugh, beef patties? I hate the way they make them here. At least the dessert will come through.

BUSTER: I don't think so.

JAYLYNN: Why did you say it like that?

Buster cocks Jaylynn's head towards the right and she sees that the dessert of the day is just fruit cups.

JAYLYNN: Fruit cups again? It's dessert, it's supposed to be unhealthy. I think this day just keeps going further and further down the rabbit hole of awfulness.

BUSTER: Hey, if you don't want your fruit cup, can I have it?

Jaylynn gives Buster a weird look.

BUSTER: My doctor said I have to start eating healthier or else I'll die. I need to start somewhere.

SCENE 5

iCarly Elementary School

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

The boys are walking towards their cars on the way to Ike's.

BUSTER: And so that's when I told Jaylynn I need to start somewhere. Lunch was a good first step, but old habits don't just die, you know?

SPARKY: Well, I'm proud of you for taking your doctor's advice seriously. Hey, where is Jaylynn? I thought she was coming.

BUSTER: I don't remember anybody telling her what we were doing after school.

SPARKY: I don't either.

RK: I never told her anything.

WADE: She probably went home already. After the day she's had, I don't think she wants to socialize right now.

BUSTER: But her car's still here.

RK: Let's look for her, see if she wants to come.

SPARKY: Good thinking, RK.

The boys walk towards the entrance again and see Jaylynn talking to Gilcania.

WADE: Oh, she's talking to Gilcy. She looks really sad.

RK: Yeah, almost like she's crying.

SPARKY: You know what? She probably needs some alone time. You know how moody she gets.

BUSTER: Yeah, let's just go to Ike's.

The boys begin to leave the premises and walk towards their cars again.

JAYLYNN: And that's what it sounds like when I cry.

GILCANIA: That's not very convincing, boo-boo.

JAYLYNN: Hon, I'm not an actress, okay? Anyway, I feel like crying right now. This day sucks. It's just been nothing but torture, humiliation, failure, disappointment. If I had a fifth word, I would say it, but you get the picture.

GILCANIA: Why don't you just hang out with the guys? I'm sure they're waiting for you.

JAYLYNN: You know what? You're right. Hanging out with them always makes me feel better. I bet they're at their cars right now.

Jaylynn runs out of the school to see if the boys are still around, but they're not. At that point, her expression goes from hopeful to angry, and she walks back into the school.

GILCANIA: What's wrong, sweetie?

JAYLYNN: They're gone. They just ditched me. You know what? I think I found a fifth word for today: Betrayal.

Jaylynn walks away from Gilcania and towards the door to go home, but she once again trips.

JAYLYNN: COME ON, MAN!

SCENE 6

The Hernandez Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn and Anja are doing homework but Jaylynn can't concentrate.

JAYLYNN: Ugh, I can't take this anymore! I had one of the worst days of my entire life but does anyone care? No!

ANJA: You never told me how your day was, actually.

JAYLYNN: Oh, I didn't? I guess I forgot after the screaming. All you need to know is the guys are dead to me. I hate those idiots.

ANJA: Whoa, whoa there, this is a big deal. What the freak did they even do?

JAYLYNN: Well, after missing the alarm, arriving late, losing the basketball championship, possibly failing my history test, getting crappy lunch and finally dealing with that stalker kid who has a crush on me, the guys, my trusted friends for three years now, just ditch me.

ANJA: Maybe they didn't know where you were.

JAYLYNN: Oh, please, they could have contacted me at any point. They just chose not to. I bet they think they're going to get away with it, but they're not. I've got something for that ass. Those ass...es.

ANJA: And what are you going to do instead of talking to them about this?

JAYLYNN: I'm going to spy on them day and night, 24/7, round the clock until I find out how much they hate me. I knew this day would come. They only wanted to show people they could be friends with a girl, and once they got what they wanted out of me, they were going to toss me to the wolves. This is just like when Seth Rollins broke up The Shield.

Anja gives Jaylynn a confused look.

JAYLYNN: When you hang out with four WWE-crazed weirdos, you...

ANJA: I know what you meant, I just thought there was going to be a flashback.

JAYLYNN: No, it would be too random. And that's not even the right term for it. I'm telling you, they've probably been planning this for months. Now that I know how they really feel about me, they're going down.

ANJA: Why can't you just call them up and ask them why they ditched you? Maybe it was just a big misunderstanding.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's why your sister started hating me out of nowhere. Because of a misunderstanding.

ANJA: Please, Lynne hates a lot of people. You're just...number one on her list.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, that puts an extra spring in my step. I'm not going to feel rejected anymore, Anja. I'm going to teach those boys a hard life lesson.

("Kick in the Door" by The Notorious B.I.G. playing in the background)

Jaylynn goes to a surveillance store and starts asking for certain supplies she can use to spy on the boys, including special hidden cameras, wires, and tracking devices. Jaylynn also buys a surveillance van and starts parking it near the houses of the boys. RK notices the van one day and gets suspicious, but Jaylynn drives away before he can get to it. He then closes his blinds, locks his door and goes into the fetal position on the couch. Jaylynn also stops answering calls and other messages from the guys, making herself scarce. One day, she spies on Sparky and Halley during a date while wearing a tree hat and camouflage. She almost gets caught by KG and his date, but she runs away before they can spot her.

SCENE 7

The Hernandez Household

Interior Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn has pictures of the boys all over her wall, along with notes of their whereabouts and events attended over the past two weeks. She is still dressed in camouflage but looks noticeably tired. Some of her spy gear is also on her computer desk.

JAYLYNN: Great, so I spent all that money and followed the boys for two weeks but I got nothing. They haven't shit talked me at all. Maybe they know they're being spied on and don't want to look like idiots. Or maybe they would feel bad about shit talking me because they think something bad happened to me. Or maybe...

Jaylynn hears the doorbell ring and sighs.

JAYLYNN: What? An investigation's still going on here!

Jaylynn leaves her room and walks down the stairs towards the door.

JAYLYNN: That better not be the guy from the van rental place. I already paid the fee!

Jaylynn opens the door and is surprised to see Sarah.

JAYLYNN: Sarah? What are you doing here?

SARAH: I came to see my girl. Interesting look.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, I've been pretty busy lately. What's up?

SARAH: Well, when I found out what I found out, I knew I had to come here and tell you face-to-face.

JAYLYNN: Tell me what?

SARAH: Jaylynn, Sonja wants to fight you again.

JAYLYNN: Sonja? Sonja Peterson, the biggest bitch in Portland wants another fight? For what?

SARAH: Well, you haven't been home for a long time and she's starting to think you're a coward. All the kids are talking about it.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, Sonja's crew and those other lame brains who have nothing better to do but gossip all day. "Ooh, look at me! I like to talk about everyone else because TMZ is my favorite show!" They can all f*** off, I'm not going back to Portland.

SARAH: Why not?

JAYLYNN: Because it's stupid. Look, I had some beef with Sonja and I settled it. Most of those kids don't even like me anyway. I don't do sequels, man.

SARAH: Okay, but that's cool. But what if Sonja keeps running her mouth about how you got lucky the first time?

JAYLYNN: Then she can do that. I'm not going to waste my time going back there just to kick her ass again. My life is here in Seattle, in the present, doing cool new things every day.

SARAH: Like what?

JAYLYNN: Well, lately, I've been using surveillance gear to spy on the boys after they ditched me two weeks ago.

SARAH: Why? Please explain why.

JAYLYNN: They had to push me! I was having a terrible day and they just went out to have fun without me. They excluded me on purpose, so now I'm going to find out just how much they hate me.

SARAH: This is what you've been reduced to? Spying on your friends because you don't know whether or not they don't like you?

JAYLYNN: You know, you make it sound kinda pathetic.

SARAH: Because it is! You know, when I wanted my revenge on you, you didn't just back down. You settled it one-on-one. Now that Sonja's popping off at the mouth, you're just going to let her do it? That's not the old Jaylynn. That's the new, overly corny, played out Seattle Jaylynn.

JAYLYNN: Hey, Sarah, Seattle didn't change who I really am. I'm still the same badass from Portland that everyone over there was afraid of.

SARAH: Well, all they're doing now is clowning you. And I came here because I knew you could prove them wrong, but I guess not.

JAYLYNN: Sorry, kid. That part of my life is over.

SARAH: Well, it may be over to you, but it's not over to me and it's not over to Portland. Think about it.

Sarah leaves the house and Jaylynn scratches her head.

JAYLYNN: I don't think Portland gives a shit about this.

SCENE 8

iCarly Elementary School

Interior Hallway

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn walks up to her locker and opens it when Sparky walks by.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, we need to talk.

JAYLYNN: Oh, so now you guys think it's important to chat with me? Lovely.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, you haven't answered our calls or texts or Messenger for two weeks. We even tried tweeting, which is stupid because we hardly know anybody that uses Twitter.

JAYLYNN: Well, I've been busy. Things happen, people change, and friendships end. Does any of this sound familiar to you, Sparky? Like you just know you want to stop hanging out with someone but you're waiting for the right time?

SPARKY: I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. But listen, no matter what happens, our friendship is rock solid. We go way back, Jay. I knew you when you were my pen pal writing angry poems about corruption.

JAYLYNN: You still remember those?

SPARKY: Of course I do. Those were great memories.

At that point, Jaylynn gets a call from Sarah.

JAYLYNN: What is it?

SARAH: Bitch, did you think about it?

JAYLYNN: I told you, Sarah, I'm not going back there. Sonja can keep living in the past, but I'm staying in the present.

SARAH: But this is about your reputation!

JAYLYNN: Then let my rep be what it is. I don't do rematches.

Jaylynn hangs up at that point.

SPARKY: What was that about?

JAYLYNN: It's nothing, just some telemarketer. So what were you saying?

SPARKY: You should talk to us if something's going on, not keep it to yourself.

JAYLYNN: Yeah. That. Listen, I'll just talk to you later.

Jaylynn walks away while Sparky looks disappointed.

SPARKY: Why can't my life just be simple all the time?

SCENE 9

Jaylynn is driving away from iCarly Elementary as she turns on the radio.

JAYLYNN: Come on, give me a good tune.

RADIO DJ: Alright, that was the latest Ariana Grande song. It's sure to hit the top of the charts. Now we're going to turn it over to this little girl in the building who has a very special request.

SARAH: Yeah, I don't want to name names, but my name is Sarah Bennett. I want to let my friend know that she should just stand up and fight instead of letting her enemies get to her.

RADIO DJ: Well, that's a very positive message for your friend. If she's out there, this next song is for her.

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor starts playing on the radio, but Jaylynn quickly turns it to another station. The song playing now is "Lose Yourself" by Eminem, but Jaylynn turns the dial again. The next song is "Girls Talkin' Bout" by Mindless Behavior, and Jaylynn quickly starts bobbing her head.

JAYLYNN: Wait a minute. I hate Mindless Behavior, why is this song so damn catchy?!

SCENE 10

The Saleh Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn and Anja are watching TV when Sarah walks in.

SARAH: You know, it never seems to escape me how much you love ducking me.

JAYLYNN: How did you even know I was here?

ANJA: And how did you get the address to my house?!

SARAH: I know places where you're going to be, Jaylynn. You only go to like, five places a year. Plus, your friends gave me Anja's address.

ANJA: I'm going to kill the boys later.

JAYLYNN: Look, Sarah, I told you already I'm not interested in fighting Sonja. I'm not taking the bait. If she wants me, she can come find me.

SARAH: But that's exactly what she's trying to do...by challenging you.

JAYLYNN: Well, in that case, I just don't give a f***. The past is the past, let it be.

ANJA: Wait a minute, who's fighting who?

JAYLYNN: This girl from Portland wants a rematch with me because I kicked her ass the first time. She's been obsessed with me ever since but I left that part of my life a long time ago.

SARAH: Well, you better shut her up after the rumor she's been spreading about you.

ANJA: I don't think you guys need to fight again to solve your problems. I mean, Sarah wanted to kill you and you two never fought.

SARAH: It's true, we settled our differences. But we know that by now so can you just slide out of the convo for a bit?

ANJA: Um, okay?

SARAH: Look, Sonja told everyone that the reason you don't want to face her again is because you're in love with her.

JAYLYNN: What? That's stupid.

SARAH: I know. But everyone knows you like girls so Sonja thinks that's the only explanation. Or at least, that's what I believe she thinks. I don't know, gossip travels awkwardly in Portland.

ANJA: Can I slide back in now?

SARAH: Be my guest.

ANJA: It's up to you, Jaylynn, but you shouldn't do anything you're gonna regret. You might have to go there just so Sonja can shut up.

SARAH: That's what I keep telling her but she's all about, you know, looking towards the future and shit.

JAYLYNN: You know what? I'm going to have to let someone else make the final decision for me.

SCENE 11

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

Jaylynn is finally talking to the guys for the first time in several days.

SPARKY: Wait, so you were really spying on us for two weeks?

JAYLYNN: Yeah. I'm surprised you guys didn't notice anything.

RK: Well, I thought the feds were after me with that white van so thank you for that nightmare. But other than that, I was clueless.

BUSTER: Honestly, I just thought you went on vacation.

JAYLYNN: So you guys aren't mad?

RK: I'm going to beat you down something fierce when I get the chance, but no, I'm not mad.

WADE: I'm kinda disturbed you couldn't just talk to us about this, but I guess it's okay. For now.

BUSTER: Yeah, I'm 50/50 on you right now, Jaylynn.

JAYLYNN: Sparky?

SPARKY: Look, I've been very tired lately, school is killing me from the inside, and I'm just glad you're not upset anymore.

JAYLYNN: So we're all still friends?

RK: When were we not friends, you weirdo?

JAYLYNN: Yup, nothing's changed.

BUSTER: The good news is, we can all get back to our lives.

JAYLYNN: Actually, I wanted your opinion on something.

BUSTER: Dammit.

JAYLYNN: Sonja Peterson wants a rematch with me. Which means I'm going to have to go back to Portland for the first time since I moved.

SPARKY: Wait, Sonja Peterson? That girl who you beat down so bad, they had to run you out of town?

JAYLYNN: Well, yeah. They tried running me out of town but I left on my own. Now she wants to fight me again but I don't think I should.

RK: Why not? I don't know who the hell Sonja is, but she sounds like a bitch, and historically, bitches are going to keep running their mouth until someone smacks them in the mouth. You need to stop her.

BUSTER: He's right, Jaylynn. You can't back down anymore. If you let Sonja get away with this, your reputation is going to go down the drain.

JAYLYNN: Trust me, it already is down the drain.

WADE: I feel like there are so many parts to this story I'm not getting.

RK: Word.

JAYLYNN: Look, I'll explain that later. The question is, should I go back there?

SPARKY: Well, if you beat Sonja twice, that means you officially have all the power, and she can never throw dirt on your name again. But if you don't show up, she'll always have the last word because everyone will think you're scared of her. I think you should do it.

JAYLYNN: I should?

RK: Yeah, Jaylynn. This is about your legacy, your honor, your womanhood. You can't let Cindy Lastname take away your crown.

JAYLYNN: You know what? You're right. It's time to get rid of Sonja Peterson once and for all. I'M GOING BACK TO PORTLAND, BABY!

SPARKY: You know what? We should come with you for support.

RK: Nope, nope, nope, we shouldn't. It's cold and flu season, Portland's a mess this time of year, I want to stay home.

SCENE 12

The Hernandez Household

Exterior Front Yard

Seattle, Washington

The boys are all putting their bags inside Sparky's car while Jaylynn is loading her things in Sarah's car.

JAYLYNN: You think this is too much? Too little?

SARAH: Eh, it's okay. Once you beat Sonja, you never have to go home again.

RK: I can't believe this is our summer vacation.

SPARKY: What? No, it's not.

RK: Oh, thank God. I was about to cry over how low we've sunk. No, but seriously, I don't want to go to Portland. It's probably full of creepy weirdos I don't know and streets without overpriced franchises.

JAYLYNN: RK, this is important to me. I want you guys to be in my corner when I kick Sonja's ass one last time. You see these here? Jaylynn holds up her fists. These...are my legacy. And I have to protect it.

RK: You know, I did say this was about your legacy.

JAYLYNN: Exactly. I mean, what would The Undertaker do if his legacy was on the line?

RK: The Undertaker wouldn't stand for anyone going after his legacy, and neither should you. You know what, I'm pumped. I'm pumped for this fight, let's go. I wanna see BLOODSHED UP IN HERE!

The gang splits up into their respective cars.

BUSTER: So are we going to stay in a hotel or something?

SPARKY: No, actually, Sarah's going to let us stay at her place for a bit. I saw that picture Jaylynn showed me, the house is pretty big.

WADE: You know, I support Jaylynn's decision, but I still can't believe we live in a society where toughness is determined by your city.

RK: You're a Seattle boy. You wouldn't understand.

WADE: You're from Seattle too!

RK: Yeah, but I understand it. I taught myself. I'm woke.

WADE: You know, people who use that term tend to be a lot stupider than they let on.

RK: I guess they're just not woke enough.

Wade sighs.

WADE: I don't like you. If you knew what it was like to be best friends with you, you would understand.

SPARKY: Alright, let's go.

Sparky drives away from Jaylynn's house, closely following the girls.

SCENE 13

Portland, Oregon

("Shook Ones (Part II)" by Mobb Deep playing in the background)

Three hours later, the kids arrive in Portland. As the cars drive slowly on the street, several kids in the area spot them and immediately start pointing. Sparky is confused by it, while Jaylynn nods her head. She has a blank expression as she stares at the pointing kids and points back at them. Buster decides to start pointing back as well.

RK: Buster, what are you doing?

BUSTER: Try it, it's fun.

The two cars arrive at Sarah's house and the kids slowly get out, looking cautious and slightly bewildered by their surroundings.

RK: This is going to be a very weird trip, isn't it?

WADE: Yeah.

The kids get inside the house and look around for a bit.

SPARKY: Wow, it's even better in-person.

BUSTER: Pssst. RK?

RK: Yeah?

BUSTER: Do you think this is the kind of place that would get robbed?

RK: Most likely. Why?

BUSTER: Just look at all these expensive knick knacks. A guy probably wouldn't even know what to take first!

SARAH: Alright, guys, make yourselves at home. HA! As if you had a choice. Anyway, you could just go upstairs and unpack. Make sure you don't leave anything in my guest rooms because that means more work for Sarah.

The gang heads upstairs but the boys end up following Jaylynn into her room. They all have big smiles on their face.

JAYLYNN: What are you idiots smiling about?

The guys' expressions do not change.

JAYLYNN: Stop. It's creeping me out.

RK: Now, are you going to tell us everything you know about this Cynthia Patterson?

JAYLYNN: Sonja Peterson. But yeah, I'll tell you the whole story. It all started back in third grade...

We flash back to the playground at an elementary school in Portland, all the way back when Jaylynn was a third-grader beating up other kids and harassing them.

JAYLYNN: I was one of the school's biggest assholes. I would get in so many fights, they had to stop suspending me because they knew I wouldn't learn. But I wanted respect so I always kicked other people's asses, and I was always angry. Pretty soon, I developed a reputation as the toughest kid in school.

Sonja and her crew are now approaching Jaylynn near the local McDonald's where she went to hang out with some of her other friends.

JAYLYNN: I loved being on top. I loved being the biggest badass. But someone else did too: Sonja Peterson.

BUSTER: Was she big and smelly with her arms covered in tattoos?

JAYLYNN: Actually, no, she kinda looked like me. Only not as pretty.

SONJA: I hear you talk a big game, Jaylynn. I think it's time you put your money where your mouth is and face me.

JAYLYNN: I don't know, man. This was around the time I planned to move to Seattle and be with you guys. I wanted a new life and a fresh start but I knew if I was going to leave, I had to leave with a bang.

SONJA: Oh, look, she's scared to face me knowing I'll slam her on the ground a hundred thousand times. You fake tough girls are all the same.

JAYLYNN: That's what you think, bitch. If you're so great, then I'll take you down just like everyone else.

SONJA: I would love to see you try.

JAYLYNN: At the time, I wasn't exactly sure if I liked girls or not, so there was this very confusing tension that I didn't understand. But I knew that I had to become the toughest kid in town.

Jaylynn and Sonja are later fighting each other near the McDonald's while other kids cheer. Sonja knees Jaylynn in the face and slams her through a table.

JAYLYNN: It was the hardest fight I've ever competed in. Sonja looked like she needed a serious sandwich, but she fought like she needed to lay off the steak. She was about to choke me out with a rope, but I had other plans.

As Jaylynn is slowly fading away, she grabs a stray bag of salt on the street and tosses it in Sonja's face. Temporarily blinded, Sonja is unable to defend against the triple punch combo: a shot to the stomach, a fist right to the face, and a rabbit punch to the temple. Sonja is knocked out and Jaylynn puts her foot over her chest.

KIDS: ONE! TWO! THREE!

RANDOM BOY: JAYLYNN WINS!

The kids start celebrating and lift Jaylynn up for a victory dance. The scene cuts back to real time.

JAYLYNN: After I left Portland, Sonja started spreading rumors that I was afraid to face her again. I never responded to them because I never thought it was worth it. Eventually, people started thinking I was fake, a coward, they started making fun of me on Facebook.

RK: So did they stop making fun of you at some point?

SPARKY: You know, I hope you rip Sonja in half tomorrow, Jaylynn.

WADE: Yeah. This girl sounds like nothing more than the garden-variety bully.

JAYLYNN: Thanks guys. I need to prove to people that I didn't change and that the old Jaylynn is still here.

BUSTER: Hey, if you lose, are you going to put a bag over your head?

JAYLYNN: I don't know. There's like a 45 percent chance of that happening.

BUSTER: We can start calling you Baggie! Don't worry, I'll only think of the names if you lose tomorrow.

SCENE 14

McDonald's

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

A large crowd of kids have gathered around McDonald's to watch the Jaylynn/Sonja rematch. Jaylynn is the first to arrive and she gets a mixed reaction as the boys and Sarah accompany her.

WADE: I seriously can't believe all of these kids showed up just to watch a fight.

RK: Wait a minute. Large crowd, entertainment. I've got an idea.

RK escapes the crowd and puts on a pair of sunglasses. He then stops two boys from getting inside.

RK: Hey. No dice, children, you need money. Five bucks a head.

BOY: We're not paying for anything, asswipe.

RK: Guys, don't you get it? This is Mayweather/Pacquaio-type levels of excitement. You can't just get this fight anywhere, you know. What, are you going to watch it on TV? Because you know damn well that's just not possible.

The two boys stare at each other with uncertainty.

BOY #2: Let's just pay him.

BOY #1: Dude, I don't want to.

BOY #2: I said, let's just pay him. I want to see that fight, just...pay him.

RK: Excellent choice.

Meanwhile, Sarah is checking out Jaylynn before the fight.

SARAH: Alright, so Sonja is going to be coming at you harder than ever before. You're rusty, so she's really going to let you have it in the beginning. That's why you need to make sure you're faster and smarter.

JAYLYNN: Sarah, babe, please. I've beaten Sonja before, I can beat her again. There's no reason why I should change anything about my style. It's going to be the first fight all over again.

SPARKY: Oh no, it's them.

("Things Done Changed" by The Notorious B.I.G. playing in the background)

Jaylynn looks at Sonja as she walks with her crew and the memories come back instantly. She is frozen in fear as she replays getting kicked in the stomach repeatedly, slammed through the table, and nearly getting choked unconscious. The confidence from earlier evaporates as she is now face-to-face with Sonja.

SONJA: What's going on, Jaylynn? Glad you finally had the balls to show up.

BUSTER: Wait a minute. Girls don't have balls.

RK: But they don't ever stop beefing, Sonja don't squash the beef.

RK chuckles to himself.

BUSTER: What?

SARAH: Jaylynn, are you okay?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm not scared.

SARAH: I never said anything about that.

JAYLYNN: Good to know. Alright, Sonja, you want some, you can come...

Sonja takes Jaylynn down with a hard punch to the face.

SPARKY AND BUSTER: Oh shit!

SONJA: I can't believe this. This is going to be like kicking a baby's ass.

LEGS: That's not the expression, Sonja.

SONJA: I know, but it fits better with the situation.

SKYLAR: Are you sure about that?

SONJA: Will you guys shut up? I'm trying to kill someone here.

JAYLYNN: Am...am I dead? Is this hell or super hell?

Jaylynn stares in Sonja's direction, and she notices Sonja is giving her a sinister smile.

JAYLYNN: Are you trying to hit on me?

Sonja tackles Jaylynn and unleashes a flurry of punches. Then she grabs her by the head and slams her halfway across the street.

RK: Come on, Jaylynn! Throw a brick at her head, rub salt in her eyes, kick her in her lady parts!

The other boys look at RK confused.

RK: What? If there's a medical term for getting kicked in your lady parts, I'd like to know.

SONJA: Are you sure you're not giving up, Jaylynn? You don't seem like the same girl that knocked me out a while back.

JAYLYNN: Please, I'm just figuring out your timing. But you're not going to beat me this time, you couldn't beat me last time, and you won't beat me any other time.

Sonja grabs Jaylynn by her shirt and brings her back down with a clothesline. Then she picks her up again and gives her a running knee to the head. Sonja, as a way to make a statement, puts her foot on Jaylynn's chest.

KIDS: ONE! TWO! NO!

SARAH: Come on, Jaylynn, you can do it.

SONJA: No way she just kicked out. Alright, time to go into kill mode again.

Sonja sets up for another running knee, but as Jaylynn slowly tries to pick herself up, she sees it coming, sidesteps it and runs away from the fight, confusing everybody.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, what the hell?!

JAYLYNN: NO, I CAN'T DO IT. I'm sorry, guys, but no.

Jaylynn continues running away while the gang goes after her. Meanwhile, Sonja shakes her head in disgust.

SONJA: Well, guys, you saw it for yourself. Jaylynn's a coward and a loser, just like I've been saying for months.

SKYLAR: You know, I used to have a little bit of respect for Jaylynn...until today.

LEGS: What a cornball.

SCENE 15

Portland, Oregon

Sarah is driving everybody back to her house. Jaylynn is in the passenger's seat and looks beaten down on the verge of tears, while the boys are all in the back. There is an awkward silence for a bit.

BUSTER: Um...you know, a wise man once said that all great battles are won without fighting. So in a way, you still won, Jaylynn.

RK: Dude, Sonja twisted Jaylynn up like a pretzel. She didn't win anything.

SARAH: RK!

RK: It's true, Sonja was just better today. It happens. People are always going to kick your ass. It doesn't mean they're smarter or more interesting than you, they just know how to kick your ass.

SPARKY: Jaylynn, what...what happened out there?

JAYLYNN: RK's right. Everyone was right about me. I never should have come back here.

WADE: Don't talk like that, Jaylynn.

JAYLYNN: Why shouldn't I? I was the one who was being thrown in the air like a Barbie doll. I was the one who nearly blacked out after taking one hit, and I was the one who ran away from the fight because I couldn't let Sonja hold a win over me. It makes perfect sense. Seattle changed me.

SARAH: You really think you're affected by your environment that much?

JAYLYNN: Of course I am. I just froze up when I saw her again. I didn't even know how to throw a punch. Let's face it. The old Jaylynn's gone. She didn't get psyched out by anybody, and now I can't even show my face in the place I grew up.

The boys all look at each other with concern.

SCENE 16

The Bennett Household

Interior Jaylynn's Room

Portland, Oregon

Jaylynn is beginning to pack her things when the boys come in.

JAYLYNN: If it's about the fight, I don't want to hear it.

BUSTER: Well, in that case, we should probably leave her be.

RK: You don't have to take everything literally, you maroon.

BUSTER: And you don't have to insult me all the time, you chubbo.

SPARKY: Guys, please. Look, Jaylynn, it is about the fight. You're letting Sonja get inside your head and making you feel like a loser. You can't let her do that to you.

JAYLYNN: Yes, I can. I used to care about these kinds of things, Sparky. But now I don't. I was happier in Seattle with you guys because it didn't remind me of my past. Now it's come back and I just want to go into hiding. The old Jaylynn's gone, man.

SPARKY: That's crap on a plate and you know it. I'm sick and tired of hearing you say that. Like you've never had any old Jaylynn moments since you started hanging out with us?

JAYLYNN: Not many come to mind, nah.

SPARKY: Like the time you gave all those fifth graders an ass whooping on Fourth Grade Friday?

RK: The fight we had at the restaurant?

WADE: The time you said enough was enough and clobbered Lynne until she could barely stand?

BUSTER: The time you...well, you did that thing with the...guys, I can't think of anything, help me.

SPARKY: The point is, Jaylynn, that you're still the same person you were when you were in Portland. You just got more mature. You need to tap into that rage of yours, show Sonja that you're not going to back down.

BUSTER: Come on, Jaylynn. We need the old you back.

RK: Yeah, don't be a sucker. I miss the old Jaylynn like I miss the old Kanye.

WADE: What's it going to be, Jay?

Jaylynn sighs and looks out the window.

JAYLYNN: You guys really think I can do this?

SPARKY: We know you can. Don't leave here without getting what you came for.

Jaylynn looks at the boys smiling and walks out of the room. She then goes downstairs where Sarah is watching TV and turns it off.

SARAH: Hey, that was live and I didn't record it. I can't just get that back!

JAYLYNN: Drive me to Sonja's house now. I'm going to beat her ass once and for all.

SARAH: Now that's the Jaylynn that made my life a living hell.

JAYLYNN: Dude, for the last time, I'm sorry. Can't you just let that go?

SARAH: I did, I'm just making sure we're on the same page here.

SCENE 17

The Peterson Household

Exterior Front Yard

Portland, Oregon

Jaylynn and Sarah arrive at Sonja's house and park the car.

SARAH: Okay, so what's the plan here?

JAYLYNN: I'm just going to kick the door in and beat the hell out of Sonja.

SARAH: You know, you can't just open the door here like you do in Seattle, right?

JAYLYNN: Sarah, of course I know that. I'm a Portland girl, just knock on the door.

Sarah leaves the car and walks towards the door.

JAYLYNN: I knew that.

SARAH: Bitch, are you coming or what?!

JAYLYNN: Yes, motherf***er, will you hang on?

Jaylynn leaves the car and stands next to Sarah at the door. Sarah rings the bell and Sonja simply opens the door to receive a punch from Jaylynn.

SONJA: WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!

JAYLYNN: That's what you get for opening the damn door without checking to see who it was first.

SONJA: What do you want? I already kicked your ass once, don't make me do it again. Or are you going to run away this time too?

JAYLYNN: Shut up, bitch.

("Dangerous Woman" by Ariana Grande playing in the background)

Jaylynn kicks Sonja in the stomach and tosses her over her sofa. She then dives off the sofa and elbows Sonja in her chest, then starts putting her in a sleeperhold. Sonja breaks free and lands a few punches on Jaylynn, then sweeps her leg. Sonja then takes Jaylynn and throws her out on the lawn and continues the beating with a couple more punches, but Jaylynn instead takes her down and starts stomping on her. A couple kids, including Legs and Skylar, rush to the scene to watch the fight. Jaylynn goes inside and grabs an umbrella, then uses it to hit Sonja repeatedly in the head. Legs and Skylar try running interference, but Jaylynn hits them both with the umbrella. Jaylynn tries to suffocate Skylar using the tip of the umbrella and pressing it against her throat, but Legs takes her down with another umbrella. The song cuts off abruptly.

JAYLYNN: Ow!

LEGS: What were you trying to do, kill her?

JAYLYNN: Probably.

SONJA: Skylar, are you okay?

SKYLAR: I think it's getting harder and harder to swallow.

SONJA: Guys, I appreciate the help, but I don't need it. I'll beat this bitch on my own. No more interference.

LEGS: Alright, just trying to help a sister out.

Jaylynn jumps in the air and knees Sonja in the head. She then punches her a couple more times and the song continues. Jaylynn then drags Sonja to her mailbox and bangs her head against it multiple times, busting her open. Jaylynn decides to go for one last punch and holds Sonja up by her face, but Sonja defiantly spits in her face. Jaylynn becomes enraged and then kicks her in the head after a running start. She then covers Sonja.

SARAH: ONE! TWO! THREE! JAYLYNN WINS AGAIN!

The kids start cheering as Legs and Skylar check on their leader. Jaylynn walks towards the car and as she turns back, gives Legs and Skylar the finger and gets inside with Sarah.

SCENE 18

The Bennett Household

Exterior Front Yard

Portland, Oregon

Sarah pulls up near her house and Jaylynn walks out happily, albeit with multiple scratch marks on her face and a black eye.

JAYLYNN: You know what, Sarah? The old Jaylynn's back and ready to kick some ass.

SARAH: Slow down there, kid. You took out Sonja, let's not get on the 6:00 news. So what are you going to do to celebrate?

JAYLYNN: Well, the boys said they were going to go to a movie and they invited me so I guess you and I can go to that.

SARAH: I don't know. Is it a kids movie? I don't like kids movies. They always have too many celebrities.

JAYLYNN: Eh, you'll live. I can't wait to tell the boys about my win. They're going to be so proud of me.

Sarah unlocks the door and Jaylynn runs upstairs to greet the boys, but they are nowhere to be found. She becomes disappointed and walks downstairs.

JAYLYNN: They're gone. I can't believe this. They ditched me again.

Sarah looks at a saddened, then enraged Jaylynn as the camera slowly zooms in on her expression.

"To be continued..." Fade to black. The kids are then shown at WWE Money in the Bank in Paradise, Nevada.

KIDS: Now it's time for...

STEVE SONGS: Yoo-hoo!

KIDS: Music Time!

STEVE SONGS: With Steve Songs.

("Outstanding" by The Gap Band playing in the end credits)

IN LOVING MEMORY OF MUHAMMAD ALI

1/17/42-6/3/16