I heard the knock on the front door and got up to answer it, I knew it be Felix before I answered the door.
"Hey, bro" he greeted as I answered the door I felt my stomach skip as I saw him for the first time in person, I had a slight crush on him but I assumed it wouldn't be a problem.
"Hey, come on in, your room is down the hall" I pointed to the door as I tried to keep my dogs from jumping on him.
After he had got settle in we played a couple video games and recorded some videos. After a little bit we started drinking to, with my slightly intoxicated state I was finding it more difficult not to stare at Felix's face. He hadn't seemed to notice, though he was pretty tipsy himself.
"Ok, you had enough" I said slightly swaying as I stood up.
I went to reach over and take the bottle from him, but instead fell across his lap. Instead of getting up like I was trying to in my head I just laid there. After a few minutes of me laying across his lap I felt him getting turned on. In the back of my mind I knew I should get up and go to bed and never talk about this again. But instead I pulled myself up and pressed my lips against his, he didn't pull back but grabbed me and pulled me closer.
When I woke up me and him were on the couch naked intertwined. I tried to carefully detangle myself from him, but still managed to wake him up.
"Hey, um Ryan, I'll um just go call Marzia and see how she is" he said avoiding my eyes.
"Yeah, sounds good" I replied trying to ignore how awkward it was
Once I was in the safety of my room I let it sink in what I had done. I had took advantage of him while he was drunk.
"Oh god" I mumbled into my hands
I had made him cheat on his girlfriend and ruined our friendship. He would never want to see me again, why would he I was basically his rapist. I got dressed trying to ignore the swirling of dark thoughts hanging in my head.
When I got up the courage to come out into the living room Felix was already there.
"Hey, Marzia says hi and she hopes you are well" Felix said still not looking at me
I felt even more of a sinking feeling in my stomach Marzia was so nice and sweet how could I do this to her.
"Oh, how is she?" I asked looking down peaking up through my hair at him.
"She's good, hey uh about last night I'd appreciate if you didn't tell her, we were drunk and I don't even remember all of it." He finished
"Oh yeah of course, it's no big deal of course I won't tell her."
"Thanks"
The next two was spent with us being less awkward around each other and just putting the one night stand behind us. But as bad as I felt for what had happened I still wished for more wished it could had led to something more
I could hear Felix arguing in the living room arguing on the phone with Marzia. I was trying to ignore the conversation to the best of my abilities so it wouldn't seem as though I was ease dropping on their phone call.
Once the arguing had stopped I walked out to the living room. Felix was standing in the middle of the living room, I walked up to him and tapped him n the shoulder.
"Hey is everything okay?" I asked
Instead of responding he grabbed my face and smashed our lips together. I moved closer to him to deepen the kiss. Such a large part of me was screaming to stop this now before it got out of hand, but it was so tempting to give in and kiss him.
When we were laying in bed together I turned to him.
"What are we?" I asked
"Don't worry about it bro, it doesn't matter"
I knew he didn't mean it like it sounded, but I could help but feel as if he said I didn't matter. It hurt, but one look at Felix's face and I decided he was worth it.
After the week was up Felix went home and left me alone with my thoughts. He said he'd back next year and I knew he was planning to pick up where we left off. In some ways I was happy he wanted me, but it I couldn't help but feeling the crushing sadness as I knew I wasn't his first choice.
He probably didn't realize that this would end terribly. It couldn't be kept a secret and in the end everyone would get hurt by it but for now he was worth it.