So class was absolute fun today.
At least, to the minds of the never-settling kids that occupied P.S. 118, it was.
To the teacher currently taking lead in English, it might have been a little more daunting and draining, but hey, when you're Mr Arnold Shortman, class of the 4th Grade in P.S. 118, it worked.
"Alright class, we're continuing our presentation on ,"Female Authors", and today," he scanned the register to find the last child who had not presented their work yet."It seems to be Jayden's turn. Jayden?"
He looked up to see the aforementioned student stand up, a small, tan, floppy-haired child who was clutching his USB drive rather tightly. He gave the kid an encouraging smile and nod as he made his way down the aisle to the front of the class, where he loaded up his USB into the desktop the class was equipped with. The kid fumbled a little with the desktop but managed to load up Powerpoint just fine and opened his saved slides. Arnold, who was shuffling his papers, was looking for a blank side of the paper to start jotting down his notes on the kid's presentation. So concentrated he was that he did not look up until the last possible moment, which was when Jayden started speaking.
"My project is on the writer Helga G. Pataki-"
Now that did get Arnold's attention, whose head shot up so quickly, you could almost hear the crick in his neck.
That name, he hadn't heard for quite a while.
"Helga Pataki is the writer behind the works of, Our Gang series of books, and currently is the writer of the graphic novel, Umbrella Girl, which is about a girl who discovers she has superpowers when she wields her magical umbrella-" said Jayden, at first reading off the paper but then slowly getting more enthusiastic about his presentation.
Still stunned by his childhood coming back to push him off his tracks just like a certain blonde girl frequently did, Arnold had to take a few more seconds to absorb what Jayden had said. Was Helga a writer? For children's books? Why hadn't he heard of this before?
"Her books currently are at the top ten of the New York's bestselling list, beaten only by the novel The Hate U Give-"
Not only was she a children's author, but also a New York's best-seller? Damn, the girl was always surprising him.
The rest of the presentation went by in a blur for Arnold, but he did manage to absorb some new information about Helga he hadn't known for a while. Helga was also an activist, who went hard for intersectional feminism, LGBTQ rights, and the protection of minors. She had been an organizing member of a few marches in her current hometown of Michigan and had been known for her short story and poetry collections before she went into YA and graphic novels. Helga, as a recent photo of her at a convention that Jayden included in his slides, was now tall, well-built, and had blonde hair that was dyed pink at the lower half, what the kids were calling, "Ombre" (Arnold wasn't that into hairstyles), as well as an eyebrow piercing. (Her unibrow of childhood's past had been tamed into two separate but well-shaped arches). She was smirking in the picture, as a rather shy but smiling Jayden stood next to her, grasping a copy of Umbrella Girl.
"The lessons I have learnt from Helga G. Pataki are numerous," Jayden said, now nearing the end of his presentation. "Number one: It's always important to treat the people you like with as much respect as possible, no matter how old or what gender they are. Number two: Fight for the ones who need it, especially if you can. And lastly, number three: No matter how silly your passions may seem, ignoring them is even worse. She helped me accept the fact that it's okay to love myself, no matter my mistakes. And that is why I did this project on Helga Pataki." He finished the presentation to the applause of the students in the class, and a blushing Jayden bowed his head as he shuffled back to his desk.
Arnold clapped as well, but his brow was knitted in concentration as he realised that instead of judging Jayden on his presentation, he had taken down every bit of information he had just learnt about Helga. Whoops, he would have to rewrite that. He cleared his throat. "Thank you, Jayden, for that presentation. Now next on the presentation list …"
Later, Arnold called Jayden to his desk when the class was dismissed.
"Hi Mr Shortman, is there anything wrong?" Jayden mumbled shyly as he approached the table. Arnold smiled.
'You're not in trouble, Jayden," Arnold said in a reassuring tone. "I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed your presentation today, and it was interesting that you chose someone who was a writer for graphic novels"
Jayden looked stricken as he blurted out "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, all you said that it could be a female writer-"
Before Jayden could go on another panic fuelled spiel, Arnold made a small gesture, which Jayden had managed to register, and he slowed down, taking a deep breath and releasing it a few times. This had happened before, Jayden tended to apologise for a lot more than was needed and was at his worst when he thought he was in trouble or when he was worried about something, and Arnold had learnt a few times managing the small boy in the few years he had been teaching him.
" I just wanted to say. "Arnold continued when he knew the boy had managed to calm down a bit. "I knew Helga when she was young. She used to go to PS. 118 with me."
"Woah, really?"
"Really."
Jayden looked like he was exploding with questions, but all he could manage was, "How was she like as a kid?"
"Truthfully?" Arnold said, thinking back to his own PS118 days. It was hard to explain a force of nature that was Helga G Pataki, and it would be harder still to figure out what to say to a student who so clearly idolised Helga and her stories. He settled for the truth.
"Helga was… spirited," he told the kid. "She was passionate, impatient, never could take fools lightly-"
"What does that mean?" Jayden asked, confused.
"She didn't like it when people didn't use their common sense." Arnold rephrased, with a rueful shake of the head. "She loved baseball and was always into the games we used to play. She would yell at me when I would miss the ball, and she was competitive."
Jayden smiled, "There's a character in her books that does that. Her name is Emma. She yells a lot too."
"Really?" Arnold said, intrigued. "That's in her-"
"Our Gang Series!" Jayden said enthusiastically. "Oh it's amazing, Mr Shortman, they have these two guys called Josh and Eric, and they're the main characters but they always hang out with a bunch of friends like-"
Arnold let Jayden prattle on for a bit while he described the gang, but then as he glanced towards the clock, he realized that Jayden had already spent 10 minutes of his recess time, and he wouldn't be able to get another break until school was released for the day. He gently reminded the small child of the time, and ushered him out the door, promising that yes, he would have a look at the books Helga G Pataki wrote, and to tell him if he liked them.
Once the child was out of earshot, Arnold grabbed his phone that was in his pocket.
He had quite a bit of research to do, research that he doubted the school computers would be able to handle the speed of questions he currently had.
He was lucky. Typing the words Helga G Pataki in the Google search bar gave him all the information he needed and filled in the gaps he had from his own memories after Helga and her family had moved out of Hillwood after the 6th Grade.
According to her Wikipedia page, Helga G. Pataki had moved to Michigan, in a busier town named Miltown. While there, she had become a serious writer, and from an article he found of a high-school newsletter, served as editor. She then majored in Theatre Studies at the University of Michigan and graduated Summa Cum Laude. She performed some slam poetry and did some writing for magazines before signing her first book deal.
However, the page itself didn't serve as a complete guide. The rest of the information came from, surprisingly, forums and Youtube videos.
The first he saw was a video of Helga speaking at a convention, in a panel discussion about writing children realistically. Helga was easily recognisable, her hair was straight, ash-blonde from the golden locks Arnold remembered, and in a braid for the occasion. She was also the youngest and only white woman on the panel, with the others consisting of an Asian woman and two other white men. It was a rather lengthy panel, one which Arnold was ashamed to say he had watched the whole 1 hr talk just to hear Helga Pataki speak for at most 15 minutes, but then he didn't regret it, especially when someone got up to ask Helga a question regarding her latest instalment of The Gang.
"I read the latest Our Gang book," said a tall, rather balding man. (Do adult men even read YA anymore? Arnold wondered.) "and I'm curious about your choice to make Emma do all the things she did in order to push everyone away. Were you worried about the possibility that you were alienating the children who revere her as a female role model?"
Helga had been frowning a little when the man started asking the question, but in a measured tone, she bent over to the microphone in front of her, and replied, "Well, that's the thing about characters. They're not meant to be all good or all bad, and they're not meant to be total life lessons. I write characters that are true to me, and what is true to me is that a character that has been as emotionally abused as Emma needs time to figure herself in her own skin, and she will possibly alienate people who wish to be friends with her in order to do so. That's what I have found to be most realistic, and before writing this book, I consulted with a few child psychologists, one which happens to be my friend, on how mean I can make her without bordering too much on domination and mis-aimed aggression. What I was worried about was making Emma not seem like just an angry child. She does have character development, and with the timeline, I want to work with, she will be able to become well-adjusted. It can't be resolved in a paragraph or even a book."
The man, undeterred, continued. "But then what makes you think people can relate to her if she wasn't a good example-"
Now there was a flash of irritation, and the beginnings of the patented Helga G Pataki scowl. "What makes you think a good character has to be polite and kind all the time? Why do you believe good female characters have to be nice or they will alienate others?" Helga had cut in, gripping the mike with a little more anger than necessary, but still polite. Granted, it did sound a little more heated than before, but it was still a far cry from the past when she would rant about the perils of the world. "The important part is that kids find characters to relate to, and learn lessons on how to live life and develop. Not all children start out all good. Criminy, I'm a little insulted you would be commenting on Emma's character development being the only bad thing when you haven't said a word about Jameel's machismo and rather off-putting behaviour when dealing with crushes."
Having never seen Helga ever speak that long on a special subject that clearly did mean something to her, Arnold was fascinated. He stopped the clip and went to look at the right-sidebar again, looking for more Helga related videos.
The second one was a surprise. Entitled, "My Interview With Helga Pataki.", there was Helga, sitting in what seemed to be someone's home, and a beautiful, glittering, heavily made-up woman was next to her, drawling in what seemed to be a Southern Accent.
"So, Helga." said the woman who seemed to be wearing some sort of shiny highlighter all over her cheeks, "Tell us how we met."
Helga, who looked nearly washed out in comparison to the colours the woman was wearing, glanced back, smirking, "Well, you and I used to run in the same gang back when we were kids, but then I moved to a whole new state, and I'll be honest, I didn't think much of you when I left-"
"Oh honey, don't be silly. Neither did I!" And the two cackled like old friends.
"So anyway, we only re-forged connections when we were in college-" said Helga, teasingly. "And I was walking out of a bar, after that Tequila shot thingy-"
"For the people at home, our university used to have The Two Tequila Shot Towers, where you had to drink every shot in the serving area before you took the absolute top drink which was set on fire and called the Eye of Sauron or something-"
"And I had won a challenge!" cheered Helga," So I went out to get a breath of fresh air and crow about my success to my best friend, Mr Dumpster."
"She went to puke." the woman continued drily.
"When suddenly-" Helga continued, resolutely ignoring what her friend was saying. "I heard a crash, and wouldn't you know it, there was a ginger kid getting beat up by two football players. I was feeling very indignant, because how dare they, I was trying to be intimate with Mr Dumpster, so I gave them a piece of my mind to get them to stop being so noisy."
"The ginger kid was me." Said the woman, airily. 'Yes, everything under this wig is ginger, like that ghastly singer they call Ned Sherane-"
"Ed Sheeran, criminy, get your pop culture facts right-."
"Can you stand that man? He looks like he would be hairy all over-"
"Ginger bum, Jinxy." Helga drawled. "Do you want that twerking up against you?"
The other woman grimaced, but side-eyed the other blonde girl.
"Helga basically took a look at the entire situation, yelled, ' SHUT UP, BUCKOS! I'M TRYING TO WORSHIP MY NEW SHRINE, CAUSE I AM TRASH AND WORTH IT! Now get out or I will be making a new Avengers movie starring my fist and a cameo from Betsy Ross!' and then started punching everyone."
Helga had rolled her eyes and said, "Geez, was I that articulate when I was drunk as hell?"
" Girl, it was epic. When I looked up, there she was! My glamazonian Hell-Girl, Helga, who then punched me in the boob, told me to prepare to die, asshole, and then puked all over my white shirt."
"You were the one who said that you were okay!"
"Honey, I say that all the time, but that white shirt had to be burnt. Not even Linda Blair would wear it."
Helga straight up giggled while slapping the woman on the shoulder. Arnold never thought a sound like that would ever come out of Helga Pataki, but he had now seen video that proved it.
"So, she and I have been friends ever since." the woman continued. "She's the one who helped me get me where I am, and even helped me pick out my drag name, and helped shaped me to be the sensuous woman I am today, Jinkx Fortuna!"
"She-devil more like." Helga had muttered.
"Excuse you, Hell-Girl-"
" I'm not the one who is ginger and has no soul!" she retorted back.
" It's not my fault Eugene was cursed with the red hair of a troll doll and not the blonde hair of my real-self Jinkx!"
Arnold had to stop the clip after that, having just managed to get what seemed to be a whole load of exposition landing straight on his football-shaped head. Helga and Eugene had been in college together? Helga defended Eugene in a fight? Eugene was now a highlighter-obsessed drag performer named Jinkx Fortuna?
Although, now that he had time to think about it, the name did suit the bad-luck stricken boy of his youth. Helga had evidently chosen well.
Helga had also somehow managed to carve a whole friendship with someone else in the childhood gang other than him. That did make him feel a little wistful and a little jealous.
The third bit of info he managed to find out about Helga were in the forums, after an article about her hitting the NY top 10 list was published. The puff piece itself wasn't the bit that interested him. It was the comments below.
There were a few squees about loving her work, and a few that talked about her poetry collection. Arnold did try to find a copy of her older works but was unable to, so he just ordered a copy of poems that someone had put up on eBay. He tried to scan the comments and that's when he saw it.
helgagataki didn't she find her mom dead on the floor or something? That's what I recall when I was reading Smoothie Breaks, and that she dedicated the entire book to her mom or something.
What?
He continued reading the comment thread, a little more dazed. Apparently, Miriam Pataki had passed on, at about the age of 48. They found a batch of crushed pills that were only partially dissolved in the smoothie glass she was holding when she collapsed. Helga had been the one to find her and call 911, to no avail. The poetry book Purple Berries and Other Things You'll Find at The Bottom of the Glass was a collection of poems about her mom, and the poem Smoothie Breaks was about the moment Helga found her mom lying dead on the living room floor, still clutching the spilt, half-finished glass. No foul play was ever found.
He looked back at the picture of Helga that accompanied the article, a picture that looked like it was pulled directly from the About the Author segment. Somehow, he felt that the photograph didn't suit the smirking, blonde woman who he had seen in the YouTube videos. That woman was passion, fire-incarnate, and this picture made her seem as though she was stuffed in a brown suit jacket and watered down in an attempt to be taken seriously.
His phone buzzed with an incoming message, causing Arnold to look up from his laptop.
Gerald: Let me up I have groceries.
Oh right, it was Gerald's turn to do the grocery shopping today, which probably meant he managed to get two of everything they needed on the list, so he needed help with getting the door opened. Arnold got up from his bed, padded quietly across the marble floor to the front door, and opened it, revealing a man concealed behind two huge paper bags of groceries as well as a canvas bag.
"About time, Arnold!" gasped Gerald Johanssen. "I had to climb 4 flights of stairs cause the elevator is broken again-"
He leaned against the door to catch his breath, and Arnold grabbed the paper bags before Gerald could drop them on the floor. The building they were currently renting out of was indeed a little older, but considering how beautiful the apartment was and how much of a steal they were getting it at, they were hardly complaining. Besides, it was a bus ride away straight to the Sunset Arms, and Arnold did want to find a place close by to his family.
"You will never guess whose name came up in class today." Arnold began conversationally as he helped Gerald put away the monster bag of chips he seemed to have gotten.
"Hedy LaMarr?" Gerald hazarded a guess as he opened the fridge to put in the 2 cartons of milk he seemed to have gotten.
"Nope. Helga Pataki."
Gerald closed the door a little to see if Arnold was joking. He evidently found his answer. "Holy crap."
"I know."
Gerald grabbed the vegetables from out the bag and loaded up the vegetable crisper. "How's the Blonde Menace doing? And why were you discussing her in class?"
Arnold began to explain what had happened: the assignment to present on a female author they liked, Jayden's Powerpoint slides, the fact that Helga was a YA author who did Umbrella Girl-
"Wait, Umbrella Girl?" Gerald stopped packing the vegetables away to look back at Arnold again. "Really?"
"You know it?"
"It's the newest graphic novel series that EVERYONE in the office is talking about!" Gerald said, waving a hand as he started piling up apples and oranges in the crisper. " It's become some sort of hit, everyone's calling it the new Harry Potter. Rhonda has been cradling that book claiming that she's now a feminist just because of that character. She's considering doing some sort of video which is just 10 minutes of people reading it and reacting to the storyline and art."
Arnold gave Gerald a look. "Exactly how is TalkBuzz earning money if you all are making videos at the whims of Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd?"
"Eh, she's paying us, I don't question it, I just pitch video ideas, and get them made." Gerald waved his question off airily. He grabbed his phone out of his phone, typed something in, and gave a low whistle at the results. "Damn, Helga got hot. "He murmured, showing Arnold what he was looking at, which seemed to be a picture of Helga in all black, wearing doc martens and holding a protest sign. She did, indeed, looked, as Gerald did put it, "Hot." "And a protest organiser eh? Well, Little Miss Pataki made it big. Never thought I would see the day."
"I'm surprised you're surprised," said Arnold. "Don't you keep updated on Facebook and Phoebe and all?"
It didn't make sense how neither he nor Gerald knew about what Helga had been up to since sixth grade, especially since Gerald did date Helga's best friend Phoebe for a good 4 years before breaking up the summer college rolled around. They were still friends via Facebook, though Phoebe was now no longer in Hillwood, having moved to New York City to attend college, enter medical school, and become a neurosurgeon. Arnold did also have a Facebook account, but it seemed Helga didn't.
" Pheebs' busy all the time, man." Gerald sighed. Despite the fact that they were friends, that fact was part of the reason why they broke up, and it was a sore spot for him. "Besides, even when we were dating, she and I spent loads of time together, but she would always dodge my questions if it ever went to Helga territory. She missed her loads, and it was cutting her up that she wasn't in the same town as her anymore. I didn't ask because it would hurt her more."
That did sort of make sense. "Then why didn't we find out via the internet or something?"
Gerald set aside the bananas. "Arnold, my man. It's 2017. We're a pair of 29-year old men with full working lives, limited free time, and we spend that free time either playing Overwatch, babysitting relatives or small children or at the pub getting a drink. When we're on social media, we get a little more scared reading the news, and we are also trying to find love in this dangerous, lonely city. I liked Helga, but man, we have not heard from that girl since we were 12. It's totally understandable."
Arnold considered telling Gerald what he had learnt about Helga's mom but decided to leave the subject for the time being. What he did next was get out his phone and said, "By the way, you will never guess what Eugene is doing now-"