Abi sighed as she aimlessly flicked through the TV channels. She was just bored and alone, since Fatboy had gone to the Vic and her Grandma Dot had gone over to Ronnie's to babysit Amy and baby Matthew. So, she was left on on her own. By choice, of course. Fatboy had asked her to go to the pub with him, and Grandma had invited her to help babysit, but she just couldn't face it. She just wanted a quiet night in watching rubbish TV. Of course, there was a good chance that at least one of the Mitchells would be at the pub and she didn't want to face any of them. Her and Ben had split up three days ago, after she'd confronted him about his relationship with Paul Coker. She'd seen them talking (see, flirting) and decided enough was enough. She wasn't stupid, and she'd let herself fall for his lies for long enough. So she's stormed straight back to the Mitchell househould, packed her stuff and left before anyone could notice. Ben came over to Dot's that night to see what was going on, and even though he tried to convince her she was just paranoid, he eventually admitted the affair. She'd been furious, at herself mostly for being so stupid, but more than anything she was hurt. Hurt that after years of being nothing but kind to him, he would do that to her. A part of her felt sorry for him, but another part of her never wanted to see his face ever again. Actually, no, that part of her wanted to smash his stupid little face in.
She'd taken what she could when she'd left the Mitchells. She'd been in a rush trying to get out of there before anyone came home, so she didn't manage to grab all of her stuff. Fatboy had actually offered to go get her stuff for her, but she could fight her own battles. She wasn't going to hide away from her problems this time. At least, eventually, she would stop hiding away from her problems.
For now, she was okay with hiding. It had only been three days, afterall. Three days since her entire life had been flipped upside down - again. She thought maybe she should have been used to that by now, the amount of heartbreaking revelations she'd had to deal with over the years. But she wasn't heartbroken by what Ben had done. She was hurt that the boy she once called her best friend would set out to purposely use her feelings to his advantage, but more than anything she just felt stupid. She never should have looked twice at Ben in a romantic way, and she knew deep down that she never would have if she hadn't felt so down about Jay. After their break up over a year ago, she'd been in an awful place, especially after the...incident with poor Tramp and her decision to not go to university. She'd felt like her life wasn't even recognizable anymore, like she herself wasn't herself anymore, and suddenly her childhood best friend was back. He was there for her and she'd allowed herself to go there, simply because it made her feel better, even if it was all fake. She just didn't want to be alone. Ben was familiar, he'd always just liked her for who she was - or who she had been once upon a time, at least. She wasn't sure who that girl was anymore.
It was just as she poured herself another vodka coke (she might have popped out to the Minute Mart to get alcohol as soon as Dot left, sue her) that there was a knock on the front door. She sighed. If Fatboy had forgotten his keys again, she was going to slap him. Abi stood up from the sofa and went to answer it, not caring that she was in her jogging bottoms and a thin sleeveless top with no make-up on and her blonde locks tied up in a messy bun. The last person she was expecting to see on the other side was her ex boyfriend.
"Jay," she said with a confused frown, eyeing the brown box in his hands. "What are you doing here?"
"I, uh, brought you the rest of your things," Jay replied with a soft smile. Damn that smile. She never could resist it. "I just wanted you to bring them over and…. yeah."
"Oh…." she breathed, quiet for a few moments as their eyes met. She quickly snapped herself out of it and took the box out of his hands. "That's really sweet of you, thank you."
"Yeah, it's alright. No need to thank me," he shrugged, watching her place the box on the bottom of the stairs. "Are you...Are you doing okay?"
"Uh.." She muttered, as she turned back to look at him. Her arms folded across her chest protectively, and she plastered on her best fake smile. "Yeah, I'm good thanks. I'm great."
"Really?" He asked, eyebrows raised questioningly. He didn't believe for a single second that she was okay. How could she be?
"Well I'm not exactly throwing myself a 'my gay boyfriend's been sleeping with another bloke for months' party, Jay, no," she laughed, rolling her eyes. "But I'm fine. I promise."
"Okay, fine, point taken," he chuckled, raising his hands in a mock surrender. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"I thought you just wanted to give me my stuff?" She questioned teasingly, biting back a smirk.
"Yeah, well, you always said I needed to work on my multitasking skills so don't start moaning about it now," he teased, making them both laugh again. There was silence, a comfortable silence, for a few moments.
"Do you want to come in?" She asked gently a few seconds later.
Jay simply smiled as he stepped inside, and she shut the door behind him before the two of them walked into the living room. "Do you want a drink? I've got vodka, or I think there's beer in the fridge, Fats won't mind?"
"Yeah please, beer would be great," he replied, observing the quiet house. "Where is everyone?"
"Grandma Dot's babysitting for Ronnie, and Fatboy's gone to the Vic," she explained, walking through to the kitchen.
"Oh yeah, our lot's over there too," Jay replied as he followed her. "I take it that's why you're not there?"
"Yeah.." she answered awkwardly, as she took a beer out of the fridge and handed it to him. "I thought Ben might be there…"
"Well that pub is crawling with Mitchells, so I think you made the right decision," he teased, as he took the beer off her and thanked her.
"What, your entire family's there?" She asked, to which Jay nodded in response. "Why didn't you go?"
"I had somewhere else to be," he shrugged, very obviously implying that 'somewhere' was there with her.
Abi took a deep breath, trying not to look him in the eye. She'd just split up with Ben, for crying out loud. She wasn't going to be one of those girls that went crawling back to their exes straight away, especially not after just ending it with a guy he considered a brother. She didn't even know if he wanted that. She didn't think he did, like at all, so she wasn't going to fall for him all over again just to have her heart broken again. She walked past him, heading for the living room, and Jay quickly followed her.
A few more drinks later, and they were both more than a little bit on the tipsy side. Her more than him, probably because she was drinking quicker and he could handle it more than she could. She didn't drink much at all, so when she did, it affected her fairly quickly. Which was something Jay'd always found quite amusing, but she insisted that he was only so much better at holding his alcohol because he drunk far too much of it, too often. Not because she was a complete and utter lightweight. Obviously.
They were both laughing at something, Abi wasn't even sure what, when their laughter died down and they both went quiet.
"I miss you," Jay said out of nowhere, causing Abi to glance up at him. "I'm sorry, that was really forward but….Well, I don't have much to lose so I'm just going to say it. I really miss you."
"I only moved out last week," Abi teased awkwardly, trying to make a joke. What could she say? The booze was going to her head.
"You know what I mean," Jay scoffed. "I miss us. How we used to be. I miss just being with you because that is the only thing that has ever felt right to me, Abs."
"Jay, we were both different people back then," Abi sighed after a few moments of silence. "I'm not the same person I was when we starting seeing each other, and neither are you."
"And that's a bad thing?" Jay questioned, his eyebrows furrowing together.
"Well, not necessarily.." Abi shrugged. "You're the one who said it was time to grow up. When we split up at the wedding, that's what you told me - and you were right. We've both moved on, Jay, that's not a bad thing."
"Don't you miss it, though?" Jay asked thoughtfully, shifting closer to her. "It used to be so easy, Abs."
"Did it?" Abi asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Didn't it?" Jay questioned, slightly taken aback.
"Jay, we broke up all the time," Abi laughed, shaking her head.
"Yeah, at first," Jay shrugged. "Abs, you were the most important thing in my life."
"Until my best friend was," Abi argued, before clenching her eyes shut when she actually heard the words coming out of her mouth. "Sorry."
"No, I'm sorry," Jay shook his head, reaching for her hand. "You do know how much I love you, don't you?"
"Loved, Jay," Abi laughed nervously, looking down at her lap. "Past tense. You loved me."
"No," Jay corrected, bringing his hand up to gently lift her chin so that she was forced to glance up at him. Their eyes met intensely, and Jay didn't miss a beat before telling her what he'd longed to say for months. "I love you."
"Jay…" Abi sucked a breath in, but she didn't have a chance to say anything before his lips were on hers. Suddenly all of those feelings for him that she thought she'd buried a long time ago, came flooding back. It felt so right.
Jay swore time stood still for the few seconds that they were kissing. It was as if his entire life was falling back into place, as cheesy as that was. It might have just been a kiss, but it was indescribable. It was filled with passion, and a subtle desperation that they each had for the other. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her, he could tell that from the way she kissed him back.
He forced himself to pull away from her - barely. He was still close enough to feel her warm breath against his lips, her forehead pressed against his as they both breathed heavily. Neither of them said a word, just taking each other in all over again. Abi placed her hand against his chest, bunching her fingers into a fist around his shirt to pull him closer to her. Just like that, they were kissing again. The need for each other was much more open this time, as her free hand tangled in his hair and both his hands moved to her hips.
Their needy, passionate kissing went on for a few more minutes. Jay was now on top of her, with both of her legs hooked up around his waist. They were both completely lost in one another, as Jay's hand slipped under her shirt. Suddenly, as if the gesture had awoken something within her, her hand was back on his chest - this time pushing him away.
"No, wait, we can't do this," she breathed heavily, not meeting his eyes.
"What?" He asked, frowning as she pushed him back further so that she could move. He watched her in confusion as she sat up and started fixing her clothes. "Abs.."
"Don't, Jay," She interrupted, still not looking at him. "Please don't."
"What's the matter?" He asked gently, pushing himself forward so that he was sat next to her on the edge of the sofa. "I'm sorry, that was too much-"
"- Yeah, it was," Abi interrupted him again, finally turning her head to meet his eyes. "We're never going there again. You know that, right?"
"What?" Jay questioned. "I thought you wanted this."
"Well, I don't," Abi said adamantly, though it was clear to Jay that it was a lie.
"You certainly weren't saying that two minutes ago," Jay scoffed.
"I got caught up in the moment, that's all," Abi shrugged. "You took me by surprise."
"You trying to convince me or you?" Jay asked challengingly, raising an eyebrow. When she didn't say anything, just stared at him as she temptingly bit her lip, Jay laughed. "Abi, you want this as much as I do. Why can't you admit that?"
"Are you still in love with Lola?" She asked, taking Jay by surprise.
"No," he answered, not a second later. It wasn't as if he had to think about it; he already knew the answer, just like he had for months. "I was never in love with her. I thought I was, but I know now that it never went that far. It was never like the way I felt about you."
Abi didn't look convinced, causing Jay to sigh.
"I love you," Jay repeated. "I've only ever loved you"
"This doesn't mean anything," Abi replied after seemingly considering it for a second. "You understand me?"
He was just about to question her about what she meant, but he didn't get a chance as her lips were crashing onto his once more.
"That was…" Jay sighed, before turning to Abi with a smirk. "That was amazing."
"Yeah," Abi laughed. "Yeah, it was."
They were both laying in Abi's bed, with nothing but a thin sheet covering their bodies. After so long apart, they were both more than happy to just lay there with one another. It was quiet for a few seconds, before Jay noticed Abi had that look on her face. She was laying on her back with her hands placed on top of the sheet covering her body, and she was staring into space. She was thinking about something, he could tell. Jay turned onto his side so that he was facing her, and reached out for her hand.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked softly, as he intertwined his fingers with hers.
"Nothing," she shrugged, smiling - almost sadly - as she watched him intertwine their fingers.
"No, come on, tell me," Jay insisted with a playful laugh. "You can't keep things from me, Abs, I know you too well."
"Maybe that's the problem," Abi sighed. She pushed him away as she clutched the sheet to her chest and sat up, flinging her legs over the side of the bed.
"Wait, what?" Jay asked, shaking his head as he watched her reach for her underwear. "Abi, I thought-"
"Thought what?" Abi questioned, as she did up her bra and then pulled up her knickers. "That I'd just fall for this all over again, as if nothing ever happened?"
"No, but.." Jay huffed as he sat up. "Come on, you can't seriously tell me that you don't want to give us another go. Not after what just happened."
"What just happened shouldn't have happened," Abi sighed as she stood there in nothing but her lacy underwear, grabbing a pair of leggings to quickly cover herself up. Not that there was much point, considering he'd seen every part of her there was to see. "I'm sorry."
"You really regret it?" Jay asked, feeling his heart sink. When she didn't answer him, he climbed out of bed and reached for his boxers. "I can't believe you sometimes."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"We just slept together, Abi, and you're already thinking about anything and everything that could possibly go wrong!"
"Can you blame me?" Abi asked, now stood in her leggings and bra. "After everything, can you really blame me for not wanting to back there again?"
"I thought you were over it, I thought we'd both moved on," Jay argued, doing up his jeans.
"Yes, exactly, we both moved on!" Abi yelled. "I'm trying to move on and you're just trying to entertain yourself now that Lola's decided she doesn't want you anymore!"
"That's not fair, Abs," Jay said after a few seconds.
"I'm sorry," She sighed, covering her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, okay, but we both know it's true."
"No, it's not," Jay said. "I want you, Abi. I want you back, because I know that I messed up something amazing when we ended things."
"We didn't end things, you ended things," Abi said, willing herself not to cry.
"And I am so, so, sorry," Jay apologized, quickly walking around the bed so that he was stood in front of her. "Please, just give me a chance to put it right."
"I think you should leave now," Abi said, covering her chest best she could with her arms and looking away. "Seriously, Jay, Grandma Dot could be back soon."
"Fine," Jay gave in after a few moments. "But I'm not going to give up, Abs. You want this as much as I do, tonight just proved that. I'm not giving up on us, not again."
Abi didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything. As much as she wanted nothing more than to be with him again, she just couldn't risk getting hurt again. She didn't know if she could handle that again.
"I think your shirt's on the sofa," she spoke gently, watching as he looked around the room.
"Right. Thanks," Jay said, glancing over his shoulder at her. Their eyes connected for a brief moment before he turned around and left, shutting her bedroom door after her. What had she done?
So, I'm back with a new Jabi story because I can't get enough of these two. Hope you guys like it so far! I'm not planning on this being a long story (definitely not as long as Baby Blues, anyway) but we'll see. Faves, follows and especially reviews are very appreciated!