Author: Elton Adams

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings or the characters within it. I am not legitimately associated with LoTR in any legitimate way. I am not profiting from this in any other currency than amusement.

Summary: Legolas decides it's time for a change.

Chapter 1: A sudden desire

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The Fellowship sat around the fire, unwinding from their long day of travel and trying to regain some vital energy for the next day they faced. The Hobbits slumped together in a pile. Gandalf sat with his pipe, looking deep into the fire. Gimli, Boromir, and Aragorn examined their weapons, trying constantly to keep them in good, fighting condition. Legolas leaned back against a log, but unlike the other members of the Fellowship, he was not exhausted. In fact, there seemed to be an energy about him, a pent-up restlessness that none of the others seem to possess. He glanced from one member to the next, taking a moment to look over each. The silence seemed to stretch on eternally, until Legolas finally stood and spoke, "I've decided that I am going to gauge my ears!"

It took a moment for the statement to register with anyone, but eventually one by one they looked up. Confusion of all kinds spread across their faces. The silence continued as if it had never been interrupted, then Gandalf spoke, "Why the sudden interest in gauging your ears, Legolas?"

"Actually, I have been thinking about it for quite sometime, and I've finally decided that this will be the best time if any," Legolas shrugged.

Pippin stirred from his resting place as his confusion grew, "What is 'guaging', Gandalf?"

"Gauging, my dear Pereguin is when... Um, how could I explain? It's an aesthetic---" Gandalf smoked his pipe.

"Gauging is one of the most stylish things a young elf could do with himself today," Legolas said definitively.

"... Stylish? ... Aesthetic?" Pippin questioned, but was cut short by Gandalf.

"Oh, Legolas. Are you doing this to be part of a fad?!" Gandalf shook his head.

"Well, not exact---"

"Legolas, you shouldn't be changing who you are just to fit in with a younger crowd of elves. You know that!" Aragorn chided. Boromir nodded in agreement.

"I'm not! Really, it's something I've been wanting to do for a long---"

"Last time I came home from battle, all of the younger men were doing this ridiculous thing with needles and ink... They actually were poking them selves with these grimy needles over and over again and calling it "artistic expression"! It was awful! It was called... tattooing," Boromir cut in, with another nod of his head.

"But that's not what this is... You guys, I really have wanted to do this!" Legolas explained, but no one was listening. Boromir was continuing on about other "dumb fads" he had "missed out" on while he had been away during times of battle. Aragorn was listening half-heartily to his friend, now and again nodding and half-heartily agreeing. Gandalf was shaking his head and taking long drags of his pipe, grumbling to himself about young people and their ridiculous ways. The only ones who were still paying any attention to Legolas at all was the Hobbits, especially Pippin, who had no idea what an "aesthetic" was.

"How are you going to gauge your ears, Legolas?" Merry asked.

The Hobbits waited intently for an answer. Legolas took a breath, "Well... I am going to simply insert objects into my ear lobes from the smallest I can find to larger, until the holes in my ear lobes grow..." Legolas watched the faces of the Hobbits hoping that the explanation was enough to quell their curiosity, but not enough to upset or disgust them. Judging by their expression, he figured he had done a pretty good job.

"You haven't even holes in your ears yet, elfboy!" Gimli chimed. He had stayed quiet for as long as he could manage, and he felt now was the time to get his rebuttals in.

Boromir, Aragorn, and Gandalf all rejoined the conversation, interested to hear how Legolas was going to propose how to handle this. "Well... That's where Aragorn comes in!" Legolas said quickly, turning toward Aragorn with a smile.

"What?! What do you mean that's where I come in?! What are you talking about?!" While Aragorn was okay being an innocent bystander to this oncoming olephant wreck that Legolas was running toward, he was not comfortable taking an active role in the disaster.

Legolas took a moment, deciding how best to approach this. "Well, you are a Ranger aren't you?" he challenged.

"Well, yes, but..."

"One of the best in all of Middle Earth?"

"Well, of course, but..."

"Well, then you should have no problem in shooting an arrow through each of my ear lobes!" Legolas said dramatically, with a toss of his hair. Surely, Aragorn would not turn down a challenge like this, he thought. But rather than stirring the Ranger into a mode of defense, Legolas has just stirred everyone else. Galdalf stared shocked. The Hobbits gasped and quickly began to whisper about themselves. Boromir let out several laughs of surprise, and Aragorn nearly choked.

"This is no real Rangers!" Gimli stood and shouted.

The rest of the Fellowship turned their attention toward Gimli. "What talk is this?!" Gandalf exclaimed.

"What I meant, uh," Gimli sighed.. "Treating dangerous weapons lightly and in jest is not something that a... real Ranger would do. Real Rangers treat their weapons with respect and handle them skillfully!" Gimli added finally.

"But what could show more skill?" Merry chimed in, innocently. "Legolas' ear is small and far way... It seems like it would take a lot of skill."

The other Hobbits nodded with Merry in agreement. Everyone turned to Aragorn. They were silent.

"Well, Aragorn," Legolas finally spoke, "will you stand up to the test?"