Lucifer pulled back, breathing heavily.
Chloe used her hands on his face to tilt up his head a little so he would meet her eyes. "Hey. What's wrong?"
He shook his head slowly, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know. I'm sorry."
Lucifer was sitting on the edge of his bed in his penthouse, Chloe in his lap, kneeling, her legs on either side of him. For the past ten minutes or so they had been engaged in what he could only describe as the best make out session of his life. He had done this more times than he could count, yet with Chloe everything was different, better, in a strange way that he couldn't describe.
And he wanted to go further, but something was holding him back. When they had walked into his penthouse he'd been hell-bent on giving Chloe the best night of her life, like he'd done for so many others. Bring her pleasure she'd never even dreamed about. Melt her into an incoherent puddle of desire.
And now, he found himself unable to do it. Because he was nervous. He was never nervous. That was something that happened to other people. Mortals. He knew exactly what he was capable of, and there most certainly was no reason for him to be nervous. And yet, he was. He was ruining everything.
Chloe dived in for another kiss and he made a movement at the wrong moment, and their noses bumped. It was awkward, and clumsy, and definitely not him. He pulled back once more, frustrated and annoyed with himself.
"Hey", Chloe said again, reassuringly, and he most certainly didn't want to be reassured. He wanted to be back in control of the situation, back to being himself. "It's okay to be nervous." She smiled at him. "Although, to be fair, I thought you'd be the one saying that to me."
He furrowed his brow. "Why would you be nervous?"
"Seriously?"
He stared at her, puzzled. She was perfect. He wasn't worthy of her. Yet, here she was anyway. Why in the world should she be nervous about this?
"Um, how about because you have tons more experience than me, which is a little intimidating?"
"How is that a problem? It just means I have more tools at my disposal to give you a really good time. Or should have, at least, if something weren't off with me today", he grumbled.
"Did you ever consider that it's important to me that you have a good time as well?"
"Me? No, this is about you", he said, and his honest confusion was somehow endearing yet troublesome at the same time.
"Lucifer, this isn't about me, this is about us."
He nodded, wishing the strange nervousness would go away and he could go back to being in control, able to give her the night she deserved.
"Let's just take things slow, okay?"
He nodded again, still feeling out of his element, which was absurd, considering they were in his bedroom, which was normally the place he felt most confident.
Chloe began to slowly unbutton his dress shirt, running her palms over every inch of skin she exposed. Lucifer's eyes closed of their own accord, and he let himself fall backwards on the bed. Chloe pulled the open shirt to the side, placing a line of kisses from his neck to his navel. Lucifer groaned.
Why did this feel so different? It didn't seem to him that Chloe was doing anything that he hadn't done many times before, yet the way his body reacted, the way even a simple touch induced pleasure in him, was simply mind-blowing. Could it be that Chloe was even more skilled at this than him? How was that possible? What was she doing to him?
She opened his belt, and Lucifer found that he was already hard as a rock, which was completely unwarranted for the stage of foreplay they were at. If things proceeded at this rate, he would make a fool of himself. He was about to suggest a reversal in their positions, which would gain him some time, and possibly give him back a little of the sense of control he'd lost, when Chloe ghosted her lips over his erection. The noise that left his mouth instead was entirely undignified. And she hadn't even touched his skin directly. He was still wearing his boxer shorts.
Chloe locked eyes with him, a smug grin on her face, as she took in the unexpected effect she was having on him. He groaned. That smug grin was supposed to be on his face, as he did this to her. This was all wrong.
Some of what he was thinking must have shown on his face, because Chloe's smug expression faltered, replaced by worry. "Is everything okay? Do you- Do you want to do this?"
He groaned inwardly. Bloody hell, yes, he wanted to do this. Why did he keep sabotaging himself?
He flipped them around effortlessly in one swift movement, and got rid of his shirt. Chloe stared up at him, somehow managing to look shy, while at the same time giving him the please fuck me now look he was so used to being on the receiving end of.
He felt the strange ache in his chest again, combined with a sensation like butterflies swarming in his belly. Maybe there was something wrong with him? Maybe he was sick? Maybe he'd contracted one of those plagues mortals were always so concerned about?
Chloe leaned up, kissing him softly, and the feeling intensified.
She reached down, wrapping her hand around his still clothed erection, and he jerked, unprepared for the onslaught of sensation the simple gesture brought with it.
Enough was enough. He was taking back control. He started undressing Chloe, moving his hands and tongue over every inch of newly exposed skin, much like she'd done to him. She moaned, and the sound send a jolt of pleasure running through him. How could she do this to him just with her voice?
He placed soft kisses along her breasts, licking over the nipple, and Chloe shuddered. He felt like he was regaining his equilibrium a bit. He repeated the treatment on her other breast. Chloe's eyes shot open and she gave him a heated look which went straight to his groin.
He took a couple of deep breaths, steadying himself. Chloe used the time to retrive something from her purse. He was about to protest that he didn't carry any diseases, and couldn't get her pregnant, but then he thought better of it. The condom would help lessen the sensation, and it seemed that, for the first time in his life, he might be in need of that to see this through all the way to the main act.
Chloe shimmied out of her pants, while he got rid of his boxers.
She rolled the condom on, followed by a few quick strokes up and down his shaft. Again, he felt himself being unduly affected by her touch. He groaned. How was he supposed to perform when everything felt so new, so different, so intense?
As if she'd somehow read his thoughts, Chloe said, "If the first time isn't perfect, we'll just keep trying, yeah?"
She gave him a seductive smile, but he shook his head. "No. It should be perfect for you. Mind-blowing, at the very least. Anything else is completely unacceptable."
"Lucifer. Stop worrying about me so much. Just enjoy yourself."
He cocked his head to the side, furrowing his brow. "But-"
"No but's." She lay back on the bed, drawing him along with her, kissing him deeply. He pulled back a little, and they locked eyes. The intensity of the feeling in his chest was almost unbearable now. He wanted to remain in this moment with her forever. He wanted to be able to hold her like this forever. He wanted, wanted, wanted, and it hurt, and it was marvelous at the same time, because she was here, with him, and for some inexplicable reason it seemed that she wanted him, too.
"Chloe", he croaked, trying to get a hold of his emotions, which were running away with him.
She smiled at him, and pushed her pelvis upwards, aligning them. When he entered her, he had to hold still for a moment, the sensation overwhelming him. Get a hold of yourself, he thought, furious with himself, you're not some bloody virgin teenager.
Chloe remained unmoving beneath him, giving him the time he needed. She started running her hands up and down his back, which wasn't helping, because he actually enjoyed the feeling quite a lot. What the hell had happened to his self-control and stamina, turning him into nothing more than a shadow of the lover he was supposed to be?
He started up a slow pace, paying close attention to Chloe's reactions. At least this he was still good at, reading her like a book, her little gasps, the way she shuddered when he adjusted the angle just so on every thrust. He picked up the pace, feeling his newfound control slip away again already as his own pleasure built.
His movements became sloppier, his breathing heavier, his heart starting to thunder in his chest. He pulled back from where he had been busy kissing along Chloe's neck to look at her. They locked eyes again, and the constant voice in his head telling him that he wasn't good enough was finally silent. His thoughts came to an abrupt halt, and, at last, there was only him and Chloe.
He realized with a start that he'd stopped moving altogether, and picked up the pace again, faster this time. He was falling, but it didn't matter, because Chloe was right there with him. She shuddered as she reached her climax, and he let go, following close behind.